Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Maria123 · Maria123

(((((((((((MyPeggy))))))))))))))), I am hoping memory serves me correctly but if it does I am wishing you a wonderful, magical birthday. I hope you have an awesome day. Today is clearly a "spoil Peggy" day. Happy Birthday my beautiful friend, love Maria

ruejacobs · ruejacobs

so i wandered onto this forum after my son had called me from the mental hospital to say terrible tihngs to me. i jumped right in the chatbox, having an idea of what al-anon is for... i might've been wrong. i'm all out of ideas on coping with the kid's constant drug and alcohol abuse and needed (still need)...

peace2me · peace2me

Is it me or am I missing something?? Do I need to be a "member" or something to get acknowledged on this site? This is the very reason I don't attend Al Anon. I feel like a number. Every time I try to attend I get the same old spill - nobody is allowed to share their personal experiences, only &...

libitinarian · libitinarian

I am a double winner, in both programs,...AA and Al-Anon. I am 7 and a half months sober and my boyfriend is 5 and a half months sober. We actually both joined AA at the same time and since then, he has relapsed. Of course we have both lied to one another about each other's vices but a couple of nights ago,...

weggie · weggie

Good Afternoon to all: What a wonderful and enlighting couple of f to f meetings I have attended in the last month. Last night we talked about Facing Reality---WOW---very powerful. Everyone took a turn and read out of How AL-Alon Works, new book and love it. When it came to me I read That it isn't ea...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

OK, so I am seeing it. But just now!Why do I create illusion? My mind just goes down this path and totally and completely makes this story up. one that is not based in ANY kind of reality.I project an entire saga onto someone. Me with this person, this well appointed saga. All sorts of details.And th...

Lyndie · Lyndie

Hi all. Im new here and really need some es&h. I have been married to my H for 13 yrs. He is what most would call a dry drunk. He has not had a drink in 12 yrs, however, his behavior has not changed a lot since then. He is quite selfish and irresponsible. He has had court issues which were recently finished...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Last night I had a dream that a helicopter landed in my front yard and an emergency medical crew brought my AH out on a stretcher. They loaded up and left, with me calling out "wait, you're supposed to take him with you!" My AH went in the house and proceeded to behave like a drunken madman. I too...

buick23 · buick23

Well since yesterday didn't go so well I just had to share this. My Abfsober left a little while ago. I don't know but maybe he is going to an AA meeting. He has not been to one in a while. If he is going, I'm guessing he did drink yesterday but even if he did not, I am feeling some relief. Meetings have always be...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I know what hating an ex did to my life before and how it did more harm to me than him, but again I find myself trying to fight the anger/resentments I feel toward Ex ABF. He has excepted no responsibilty for the way things are, has not once said he is sorry, and continues to tell me he is working on him fro...

Christy · Christy

So how was Evelyn's anniversary? Did you get any feedback from those who were there?

Maria123 · Maria123

Lots of us here in the Northeast, at least Taxachusetts particularly and where I live, got hit by an ice storm which downed the trees and electric lines. I am fortunate enough to have gotten my electricity back late yesterday but my boy's home will be down for about 4 days. The silver lining is that they...

soconfused · soconfused

I think I'm finally there! I just spent the last 3 weeks so sad...so miserable because he was still rejecting me. Still saying he wants to be w/ me and loves me but wouldn't answer my calls, ignored my emails and did not answer the door. He hasn't even once asked to see his daughter in almost a mth! Luckily s...

buick23 · buick23

I wasn't going to post this, but I know everyone understands these things and I always feel better after posting. Well, my Abfsober has been gone all day with his friend with the exeption of coming home for lunch for an hour. I am upset and have this all so familiar bad feeling. I remember the times when he...

Robinks · Robinks

Hi - sorry I missed you in the room, i saw you login but I was away from the computer, how are you?

Jean4444 · Jean4444

to fail and fall and feel like crap. Denial is such a seductive thing, isn't it? The imaginary is so wonderful and so tempting! I need to grieve. A loss. Another loss. Chalk it up. Keep on keeping on. Process the feelings. I don't even have to go into the details of what happened because its the bro...

Loupiness · Loupiness

...and I think there may have been smoke coming our her ears, but I stayed as cool as a cucumber. Yes, I did. Yay! for me. My 11.5 yr old daughter wanted her dad to pick her up at 9:00 last night after his programs to help her with her math. She wants time with him, more than the help, and I understand the ne...

Lyndie · Lyndie

In the rooms we talk about feelings alot. I hear many who have been around say things to the effect of 'what is your part in how you feel? or my feelings are my own problem." I don't understand how feeling my feelings is a bad thing. I cannot casually brush off my h's behavior like it doesn't bother me,...

madmom · madmom

Hello again, the last time I posted here was in October. I talked about giving my AH a choice. Well, as you all probably could guess and know, that didn't work out. I begged off giving the choice in the end. I said I'd be back to post but then I became hesitant. In the meantime I've been reading literatur...

Codependent · Codependent

As I told you last weekend the A had called to go out and then we didn't. Well, last night we did and what a disaster! I cried all night in front of him and today as well. Alcohol was involved for both of us- and yes I have now accepted that alcohol is a problem for me as well. I really am not looking for pity he...

Lyndie · Lyndie

In the rooms we talk about feelings alot. I hear many who have been around say things to the effect of 'what is your part in how you feel? or my feelings are my own problem." I don't understand how feeling my feelings is a bad thing. I cannot casually brush off my h's behavior like it doesn't bother me,...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just a short note to say that my life is getting better--day by day. I am living a fairly good life with my husband again. We have been under the same roof since October--not a long time but great! We have interesting mornings some- times but that's because I am still not a morning person. I am so happy for...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I'm searching for books on boundaries and detachment. I have the ones from Melodie Beattie and one from Pia Mellody. Is there any other suggestions? I like basic and simple. After all it takes me a while to catch onto things!!!! I've been working on detachment - it's a good thing. I'm amazed that n...

deniseminh · deniseminh

Hello. I am new to Al Anon. Been going to my "home" group for about 2 months. Taking it slow. Absorbing. I don't have a sponsor yet, but am waiting for that to happen organically for me. I'm doing reading, but haven't started working the steps. I am not a Buddhist, but am certainly not a Ch...

bob6502 · bob6502

Happy Birthday to our lovely and talented Danz!!! Happy 29th my love!!! Love, SenoraBob

joyoma · joyoma

Christmas and the holiday season has a way of making everything more intense, more dramatic. Even before the years of dysfunctional family problems and our health issues, the season often had some tensions and some unhappy things associated with the activities. I have often overcome these thing...

blender_girl · blender_girl

I've been feeling pretty good the past couple of weeks, I guess it was time to test my recovery last night. The past few weeks, one of my boundaries has been to sleep in another room if my AH has been drinking as he tends to wake me up in the middle of the night with his monologues and diatribes. This usually...

glad · glad

There has been a little drama about christmas plans in my family this year. In Sept my brother "called" thanksgiving meaning he said he wanted our dinner to be at a certain time to accomodate his schedule and ask if that was okay- so fine no problem I just said my daughters would like Christma...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS is not doing well, and I am not doing well, I have these overwhelming feelings of despair, especially when he visits and he not high and he is more like the son I know, and then "boom" he reappears as the person I don't know anymore, and I go back in my mind to better days and how I long to see hi...

Christy · Christy

For 20 yrs. Christmas has been been a difficult time for me. Twenty yrs. ago I had a beautiful daughter, born Dec. 3, died on January 9th. We shared only one Christmas. From then on I allowed it to change all the rest. I have pictures of me holding her while she stared at the sparkling tree. She would have be...

glad lee · glad lee

Last week, I was asked by my manager, to cover a shift on Sunday. (This was a huge favor to ask.) I agreed to cover HALF the shift only. She was very grateful and said she would cover the second half, replacing me by 2:00. Well, 2:05 rolls around and I'm ready to go, but she's not there. Another employee,...

maresie · maresie

As you all know its certainly pretty difficult for me to get on with my roommates. Tomorrow one of my roommates is one year sober. She's been going to court diverted classes for a year now and had had mandatory drug tests week in week out. Somehow someway she made the choice to stay clean, through ill...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello all, While reading a post I had a thought. This year my first living alone ever and having my income level drop along with all the economics going on is going to be different than other years. I've decided I am sending holiday cards to our fellow MIPs, and getting something special for my nephew's f...

david62 · david62

Hi (((Family))) Not sure what is up with me lately, but I have been having the most vivid dreams just prior to time for me to get up in the morning. Some good, some bad, some just plain weird!! The latest one was very good. I was in the school band from 6th grade thru graduation from High School. For the fir...

maresie · maresie

I think its taken me a full 7 years to let go of the A. Of course this task was helped immensely by learning detachment. Nowadys I try to work on letting go of resentment, things I have no control over. The more I let go the better things are. Of course like anything else i have to practice that all the time...

Angry · Angry

Hello I am frustrated again ,angry and I feel hopeless AGAIN. I presently got married (May 3rd) to the guy I always knew he is the ONE . We been together for about 8 years and I always knew he had a drinking problem. He likes to drink on the weekends ONLY . He doesn't just drink ,he gets wasted. I am reading...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

rt where are you? yours in recovery, Mandy

debilyn · debilyn

Doctor said you are not depressed, you're tired. Lets see, doing another loan mod. Go see my main house, it is a total mess, most cosmetic. They lived there almost two years with a deal of $150 off the rent to do upkeep and repair. Not even a lightbulb was changed when it blew out. Furnace filter was horri...

charlescharles · charlescharles

i'm tired...i'm tired of being the whipping boy...feel like i really aient got no one to talk with...other people laying their problems on y head....feel alone...a bit tortured and tired tv don't work and generally i feel a bit disconnected went to a grea meeting tonight..but like the drugs i used to...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, The posts here have been so great lately. I have been plugging along each day. A bit concerned that my ODAT attitude may actually be denial. Thought I had the holidays all handled, emotionally that is. I really wasn't too stressed, for I realized that they always come and always go, and thi...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all I an in needof help. My ah is out of the house and has filed cousdty papers on the 15 and 18 year old child. tomarrow is the court date and up til now he has been telling me and the childern that they need to be there. He got a letter today from his A Couseler today that was less then in his faviter and I thin...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

rt where are you? yours in recovery, Mandy

smileycat · smileycat

Hi All Court when we both have joint cous for now until a law guarding can talk to her. But I am so madat how easy I just roll over and play died and let him get the things that he wants from me. I know that we have been separated for only three week and it is hard to stop old habits. He was so sweet talking to a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up this morning and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head after a month of heck on earth........Why would I want someone in my life that doesn't want to be there??????? And if A EBF can't "let go" of all the stuff that he says he "doesn't hold against me" (which I still th...

maresie · maresie

when I first came into this program I had no idea what I was doing to bring me into such chaos. I really viewed myself as a caring, loving, giving person. I saw many of the issues as being the A's. His drug use, his irresponsibility, his chaos. Over time and I'd had a few years into this program I've come to...

nmike · nmike

Help me out with this one. My oldest son got out of the military in Sept. with wife and grandbaby. He said we are moving in with you and I am going to school. I said fine - wow more time with my grandbaby. After a week he said they were moving in with her mother. I said fine - at least it is close and I would get to se...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have received such a great gift from this program! I remember when I first came here, scared, alone, bitter, angry, full of resentment, disappointed, feeling as if my life was over. And in fact, life as I knew it was over. It took many bumps in the road along the way but I would never have known how tru...

robyn · robyn

after 15 years in program I stopped going to meetings. I had seen the miricles happen and enjoyed a lovely peaceful life. now i am back and at 55 years, it seems like a long haul

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I was re-reading some old stuff and I posted this about 3 years ago. Hope it makes ya smile. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 7...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

OK AH had to walk to the store tonight to return a video. He was already acting strange, sort of detached...getting on my nerves. I thought about offering him a ride because it is raining off and on. But I didn't. He left and a little while later I had to do somethings, so I figured I'd drive by the store and s...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I have been practicing detachment for about a month now, and my family is rebelling against this idea. I have been trying to do things to improve my outlook on life and the way I live. Such as not caretaking as much and letting my daughters take care of themselves more (They are 18 and 20) they are begin...

Diva · Diva

He is half drunk much of the time lately. Half drunk and defensive. I would like to be able to kick him to the curb, even though I love the man he is when he is sober. I have had enough drinking, promising, drinking, promising. He lies; he drinks; he promises; All too familiar isn't it? But now I have...

erinleigh06 · erinleigh06

I don't know if I'm using this forum in the right way but I guess I'll just go ahead anyway. I need to describe what I am going through and try to get some help because I am at an all time low. I've been crying many times a day this past week as things in my home have gotten increasingly worse. I have always ha...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I realized this year I just don't have a thing planned for the holidays, and that is fine with me! No little ones around anymore, and I'm even late on decorating because of college classes, but that's okay. I do enjoy decorating the interior of the house, and will just leave it up later this season. We had...

Rita G · Rita G

It was a different Thanksgiving for me this year - I spent the first night in my new rent house. Sleeping on an inflatable bed that didn't hold air, in an older house with absolutely nothing - it was the most wonderful thing I had done in a long, long time. Then Friday, I moved my belongings and my 1/2 of th...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well it has been awhile since I posted, doesnt mean that things got better, but for awhile since my husbands last binge, it was better, he wasnt drinking and then BAM he started again. Not in a binge but he did drink more than I think he should be ( well actually dont think he should be drinkking anything . l...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

December 7th Business Meeting Minutes Chair opened with Serenity Prayer.Vote for November Business Meeting Minutes were voted on and accepted. Treasurers report was not received as our treasurer was not able to attend the meeting. Discussion took place about importance of each of the officer...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I'm thinking how grateful I am to be sitting here in puffy socks, Mickey Mouse ears, being my own wierd self. I am truly happy. 3 years ago on a Saturday night in December I was caring for a sick dog, wondering if my AH was dead, alive, gonna come home or not, if he would just pass out or rant and rave for hours o...

Sis63 · Sis63

I'm really frustrated with myself. I've been in the Alanon program for a couple of months. Been going to meetings...reading ODAT and CTC daily...but all the progress I thought I was making went up in smoke yesterday. Came home from work and I knew my AH, who had been sober for a couple of months had been d...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Ex ABF, sober 10 yrs and very much in program, and I have been staying in communication through email and phone. I advised him that I could not be just his friend, and that if he was staying in touch out of obligation to the program or me that I did not want to stay in touch, but if he was staying in touch bec...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	We got us here a Birthday Girl - Peggy77 (Preview) (((((((((((MyPeggy))))))))))))))), I am hoping memory serves me correctly but if it does I am wishing you a wonderful, magical birthday. I hope you have an awesome day. Today is clearly a "spoil Peggy" day. Happy Birthday my beautiful friend, love Maria	Maria123	6	589	Dec 15, 2008 by blender_girl
	pre-meeting questions (Preview) so i wandered onto this forum after my son had called me from the mental hospital to say terrible tihngs to me. i jumped right in the chatbox, having an idea of what al-anon is for... i might've been wrong. i'm all out of ideas on coping with the kid's constant drug and alcohol abuse and needed (still need)...	ruejacobs	4	665	Dec 15, 2008 by Jen
	Is any one out there?????? (Preview) Is it me or am I missing something?? Do I need to be a "member" or something to get acknowledged on this site? This is the very reason I don't attend Al Anon. I feel like a number. Every time I try to attend I get the same old spill - nobody is allowed to share their personal experiences, only &...	peace2me	8	543	Dec 15, 2008 by Jen
	Double Winner Suspecting Partner (Preview) I am a double winner, in both programs,...AA and Al-Anon. I am 7 and a half months sober and my boyfriend is 5 and a half months sober. We actually both joined AA at the same time and since then, he has relapsed. Of course we have both lied to one another about each other's vices but a couple of nights ago,...	libitinarian	8	708	Dec 15, 2008 by libitinarian
	FYI on F to F meeting (Preview) Good Afternoon to all: What a wonderful and enlighting couple of f to f meetings I have attended in the last month. Last night we talked about Facing Reality---WOW---very powerful. Everyone took a turn and read out of How AL-Alon Works, new book and love it. When it came to me I read That it isn't ea...	weggie	3	551	Dec 15, 2008 by aunitedway
	I create an illusion/fantasy totally on my own w/o even realizing it! How nuts is that?! (Preview) OK, so I am seeing it. But just now!Why do I create illusion? My mind just goes down this path and totally and completely makes this story up. one that is not based in ANY kind of reality.I project an entire saga onto someone. Me with this person, this well appointed saga. All sorts of details.And th...	Jean4444	8	683	Dec 15, 2008 by Jen
	newbie here... (Preview) Hi all. Im new here and really need some es&h. I have been married to my H for 13 yrs. He is what most would call a dry drunk. He has not had a drink in 12 yrs, however, his behavior has not changed a lot since then. He is quite selfish and irresponsible. He has had court issues which were recently finished...	Lyndie	6	564	Dec 15, 2008 by aunitedway
	creepy dream (Preview) Last night I had a dream that a helicopter landed in my front yard and an emergency medical crew brought my AH out on a stretcher. They loaded up and left, with me calling out "wait, you're supposed to take him with you!" My AH went in the house and proceeded to behave like a drunken madman. I too...	RainyJamie	8	549	Dec 15, 2008 by aunitedway
	follow up (Preview) Well since yesterday didn't go so well I just had to share this. My Abfsober left a little while ago. I don't know but maybe he is going to an AA meeting. He has not been to one in a while. If he is going, I'm guessing he did drink yesterday but even if he did not, I am feeling some relief. Meetings have always be...	buick23	4	424	Dec 15, 2008 by buick23
	Struggling not to hate, and to let go of anger/resentments (Preview) I know what hating an ex did to my life before and how it did more harm to me than him, but again I find myself trying to fight the anger/resentments I feel toward Ex ABF. He has excepted no responsibilty for the way things are, has not once said he is sorry, and continues to tell me he is working on him fro...	shellyj123	8	1692	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	maresie (Preview) So how was Evelyn's anniversary? Did you get any feedback from those who were there?	Christy	1	406	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	In every cloud is a silver lining . . . (Preview) Lots of us here in the Northeast, at least Taxachusetts particularly and where I live, got hit by an ice storm which downed the trees and electric lines. I am fortunate enough to have gotten my electricity back late yesterday but my boy's home will be down for about 4 days. The silver lining is that they...	Maria123	8	469	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	acceptance (Preview) I think I'm finally there! I just spent the last 3 weeks so sad...so miserable because he was still rejecting me. Still saying he wants to be w/ me and loves me but wouldn't answer my calls, ignored my emails and did not answer the door. He hasn't even once asked to see his daughter in almost a mth! Luckily s...	soconfused	2	517	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	that all so familiar uncomfortable feeling (Preview) I wasn't going to post this, but I know everyone understands these things and I always feel better after posting. Well, my Abfsober has been gone all day with his friend with the exeption of coming home for lunch for an hour. I am upset and have this all so familiar bad feeling. I remember the times when he...	buick23	7	718	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	Lani (Preview) Hi - sorry I missed you in the room, i saw you login but I was away from the computer, how are you?	Robinks	0	294	Dec 15, 2008 by Robinks
	I set myself up again... (Preview) to fail and fall and feel like crap. Denial is such a seductive thing, isn't it? The imaginary is so wonderful and so tempting! I need to grieve. A loss. Another loss. Chalk it up. Keep on keeping on. Process the feelings. I don't even have to go into the details of what happened because its the bro...	Jean4444	16	686	Dec 15, 2008 by maresie
	yelling, screaming, tantruming.... (Preview) ...and I think there may have been smoke coming our her ears, but I stayed as cool as a cucumber. Yes, I did. Yay! for me. My 11.5 yr old daughter wanted her dad to pick her up at 9:00 last night after his programs to help her with her math. She wants time with him, more than the help, and I understand the ne...	Loupiness	9	655	Dec 15, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	hard time understanding something (Preview) In the rooms we talk about feelings alot. I hear many who have been around say things to the effect of 'what is your part in how you feel? or my feelings are my own problem." I don't understand how feeling my feelings is a bad thing. I cannot casually brush off my h's behavior like it doesn't bother me,...	Lyndie	6	574	Dec 15, 2008 by Karilynn
	Trying again.... (Preview) Hello again, the last time I posted here was in October. I talked about giving my AH a choice. Well, as you all probably could guess and know, that didn't work out. I begged off giving the choice in the end. I said I'd be back to post but then I became hesitant. In the meantime I've been reading literatur...	madmom	6	476	Dec 14, 2008 by nmike
	My own worst enemy (Preview) As I told you last weekend the A had called to go out and then we didn't. Well, last night we did and what a disaster! I cried all night in front of him and today as well. Alcohol was involved for both of us- and yes I have now accepted that alcohol is a problem for me as well. I really am not looking for pity he...	Codependent	7	697	Dec 14, 2008 by Jerry F
	hard time understanding something (Preview) In the rooms we talk about feelings alot. I hear many who have been around say things to the effect of 'what is your part in how you feel? or my feelings are my own problem." I don't understand how feeling my feelings is a bad thing. I cannot casually brush off my h's behavior like it doesn't bother me,...	Lyndie	3	457	Dec 14, 2008 by Jen
	Life is a little better! (Preview) Just a short note to say that my life is getting better--day by day. I am living a fairly good life with my husband again. We have been under the same roof since October--not a long time but great! We have interesting mornings some- times but that's because I am still not a morning person. I am so happy for...	Hoot Nanny	1	447	Dec 14, 2008 by peace2me
	Book an boundaries and detachment (Preview) I'm searching for books on boundaries and detachment. I have the ones from Melodie Beattie and one from Pia Mellody. Is there any other suggestions? I like basic and simple. After all it takes me a while to catch onto things!!!! I've been working on detachment - it's a good thing. I'm amazed that n...	slowlearner	1	727	Dec 13, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Introduction, any Buddhists out there? (Preview) Hello. I am new to Al Anon. Been going to my "home" group for about 2 months. Taking it slow. Absorbing. I don't have a sponsor yet, but am waiting for that to happen organically for me. I'm doing reading, but haven't started working the steps. I am not a Buddhist, but am certainly not a Ch...	deniseminh	6	2315	Dec 13, 2008 by deniseminh
	Happy Birthday!!!! (Preview) Happy Birthday to our lovely and talented Danz!!! Happy 29th my love!!! Love, SenoraBob	bob6502	5	433	Dec 12, 2008 by Karilynn
	a sense of relief about Christmas (Preview) Christmas and the holiday season has a way of making everything more intense, more dramatic. Even before the years of dysfunctional family problems and our health issues, the season often had some tensions and some unhappy things associated with the activities. I have often overcome these thing...	joyoma	7	619	Dec 12, 2008 by Jean4444
	Obliterated Boundaries (Preview) I've been feeling pretty good the past couple of weeks, I guess it was time to test my recovery last night. The past few weeks, one of my boundaries has been to sleep in another room if my AH has been drinking as he tends to wake me up in the middle of the night with his monologues and diatribes. This usually...	blender_girl	7	964	Dec 12, 2008 by maresie
	holly jolly Christmas (Preview) There has been a little drama about christmas plans in my family this year. In Sept my brother "called" thanksgiving meaning he said he wanted our dinner to be at a certain time to accomodate his schedule and ask if that was okay- so fine no problem I just said my daughters would like Christma...	glad	4	587	Dec 12, 2008 by maresie
	Feeling Sad Tonight.... (Preview) My AS is not doing well, and I am not doing well, I have these overwhelming feelings of despair, especially when he visits and he not high and he is more like the son I know, and then "boom" he reappears as the person I don't know anymore, and I go back in my mind to better days and how I long to see hi...	DreamsOver	6	586	Dec 12, 2008 by maresie
	Grateful (Preview) For 20 yrs. Christmas has been been a difficult time for me. Twenty yrs. ago I had a beautiful daughter, born Dec. 3, died on January 9th. We shared only one Christmas. From then on I allowed it to change all the rest. I have pictures of me holding her while she stared at the sparkling tree. She would have be...	Christy	7	602	Dec 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	I teach people how to treat me (Preview) Last week, I was asked by my manager, to cover a shift on Sunday. (This was a huge favor to ask.) I agreed to cover HALF the shift only. She was very grateful and said she would cover the second half, replacing me by 2:00. Well, 2:05 rolls around and I'm ready to go, but she's not there. Another employee,...	glad lee	5	1144	Dec 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	more on moving on (Preview) As you all know its certainly pretty difficult for me to get on with my roommates. Tomorrow one of my roommates is one year sober. She's been going to court diverted classes for a year now and had had mandatory drug tests week in week out. Somehow someway she made the choice to stay clean, through ill...	maresie	6	549	Dec 12, 2008 by Loupiness
	Memorable holidays with little funds ... share ideas,memories please (Preview) Hello all, While reading a post I had a thought. This year my first living alone ever and having my income level drop along with all the economics going on is going to be different than other years. I've decided I am sending holiday cards to our fellow MIPs, and getting something special for my nephew's f...	Jennifer	4	517	Dec 12, 2008 by Jennifer
	Striking up the Band to a tune called "Making Amends" (Preview) Hi (((Family))) Not sure what is up with me lately, but I have been having the most vivid dreams just prior to time for me to get up in the morning. Some good, some bad, some just plain weird!! The latest one was very good. I was in the school band from 6th grade thru graduation from High School. For the fir...	david62	7	744	Dec 11, 2008 by Jerry F
	letting go (Preview) I think its taken me a full 7 years to let go of the A. Of course this task was helped immensely by learning detachment. Nowadys I try to work on letting go of resentment, things I have no control over. The more I let go the better things are. Of course like anything else i have to practice that all the time...	maresie	5	530	Dec 11, 2008 by peace2me
	new on this site and a newlywed (Preview) Hello I am frustrated again ,angry and I feel hopeless AGAIN. I presently got married (May 3rd) to the guy I always knew he is the ONE . We been together for about 8 years and I always knew he had a drinking problem. He likes to drink on the weekends ONLY . He doesn't just drink ,he gets wasted. I am reading...	Angry	7	688	Dec 11, 2008 by Sis63
	rtexas (Preview) rt where are you? yours in recovery, Mandy	Mandy123	3	344	Dec 11, 2008 by Karilynn
	gads it has to be a joke...hard knocks (Preview) Doctor said you are not depressed, you're tired. Lets see, doing another loan mod. Go see my main house, it is a total mess, most cosmetic. They lived there almost two years with a deal of $150 off the rent to do upkeep and repair. Not even a lightbulb was changed when it blew out. Furnace filter was horri...	debilyn	6	633	Dec 10, 2008 by debilyn
	bored and lonely alone (Preview) i'm tired...i'm tired of being the whipping boy...feel like i really aient got no one to talk with...other people laying their problems on y head....feel alone...a bit tortured and tired tv don't work and generally i feel a bit disconnected went to a grea meeting tonight..but like the drugs i used to...	charlescharles	5	633	Dec 10, 2008 by charlescharles
	bah humbug... (Preview) Hi Friends, The posts here have been so great lately. I have been plugging along each day. A bit concerned that my ODAT attitude may actually be denial. Thought I had the holidays all handled, emotionally that is. I really wasn't too stressed, for I realized that they always come and always go, and thi...	Loupiness	9	578	Dec 10, 2008 by maresie
	HELP!!!!!! (Preview) Hi all I an in needof help. My ah is out of the house and has filed cousdty papers on the 15 and 18 year old child. tomarrow is the court date and up til now he has been telling me and the childern that they need to be there. He got a letter today from his A Couseler today that was less then in his faviter and I thin...	smileycat	6	576	Dec 10, 2008 by maresie
	rtexas (Preview) rt where are you? yours in recovery, Mandy	Mandy123	1	407	Dec 10, 2008 by rtexas
	court (Preview) Hi All Court when we both have joint cous for now until a law guarding can talk to her. But I am so madat how easy I just roll over and play died and let him get the things that he wants from me. I know that we have been separated for only three week and it is hard to stop old habits. He was so sweet talking to a...	smileycat	2	318	Dec 10, 2008 by maresie
	Letting go-is this what it feels like???? (Preview) Woke up this morning and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head after a month of heck on earth........Why would I want someone in my life that doesn't want to be there??????? And if A EBF can't "let go" of all the stuff that he says he "doesn't hold against me" (which I still th...	shellyj123	9	557	Dec 10, 2008 by Jen
	turning a corner (Preview) when I first came into this program I had no idea what I was doing to bring me into such chaos. I really viewed myself as a caring, loving, giving person. I saw many of the issues as being the A's. His drug use, his irresponsibility, his chaos. Over time and I'd had a few years into this program I've come to...	maresie	4	323	Dec 10, 2008 by maresie
	Need your esh on this one (Preview) Help me out with this one. My oldest son got out of the military in Sept. with wife and grandbaby. He said we are moving in with you and I am going to school. I said fine - wow more time with my grandbaby. After a week he said they were moving in with her mother. I said fine - at least it is close and I would get to se...	nmike	8	623	Dec 10, 2008 by joyoma
	The best gift (Preview) I have received such a great gift from this program! I remember when I first came here, scared, alone, bitter, angry, full of resentment, disappointed, feeling as if my life was over. And in fact, life as I knew it was over. It took many bumps in the road along the way but I would never have known how tru...	carolinagirl	3	331	Dec 10, 2008 by Loupiness
	second time round (Preview) after 15 years in program I stopped going to meetings. I had seen the miricles happen and enjoyed a lovely peaceful life. now i am back and at 55 years, it seems like a long haul	robyn	8	549	Dec 10, 2008 by blender_girl
	A sad note (Preview) Hi all, I was re-reading some old stuff and I posted this about 3 years ago. Hope it makes ya smile. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 7...	Mandy123	6	478	Dec 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	Getting sucked in all over again (Preview) OK AH had to walk to the store tonight to return a video. He was already acting strange, sort of detached...getting on my nerves. I thought about offering him a ride because it is raining off and on. But I didn't. He left and a little while later I had to do somethings, so I figured I'd drive by the store and s...	RainyJamie	3	688	Dec 10, 2008 by RainyJamie
	Family rebelling against my practicing detachment (Preview) I have been practicing detachment for about a month now, and my family is rebelling against this idea. I have been trying to do things to improve my outlook on life and the way I live. Such as not caretaking as much and letting my daughters take care of themselves more (They are 18 and 20) they are begin...	slowlearner	6	1022	Dec 9, 2008 by Jean4444
	I have figured it out. (Preview) He is half drunk much of the time lately. Half drunk and defensive. I would like to be able to kick him to the curb, even though I love the man he is when he is sober. I have had enough drinking, promising, drinking, promising. He lies; he drinks; he promises; All too familiar isn't it? But now I have...	Diva	17	703	Dec 9, 2008 by nmike
	I'm new here (Preview) I don't know if I'm using this forum in the right way but I guess I'll just go ahead anyway. I need to describe what I am going through and try to get some help because I am at an all time low. I've been crying many times a day this past week as things in my home have gotten increasingly worse. I have always ha...	erinleigh06	13	500	Dec 9, 2008 by carolinagirl
	The holidays (Preview) I realized this year I just don't have a thing planned for the holidays, and that is fine with me! No little ones around anymore, and I'm even late on decorating because of college classes, but that's okay. I do enjoy decorating the interior of the house, and will just leave it up later this season. We had...	Tenderheartsks	3	368	Dec 9, 2008 by Karilynn
	Packing, moving, breathing and praying (Preview) It was a different Thanksgiving for me this year - I spent the first night in my new rent house. Sleeping on an inflatable bed that didn't hold air, in an older house with absolutely nothing - it was the most wonderful thing I had done in a long, long time. Then Friday, I moved my belongings and my 1/2 of th...	Rita G	8	660	Dec 8, 2008 by Becky1
	Its been awhile since I posted. I did a bad thing (Preview) Well it has been awhile since I posted, doesnt mean that things got better, but for awhile since my husbands last binge, it was better, he wasnt drinking and then BAM he started again. Not in a binge but he did drink more than I think he should be ( well actually dont think he should be drinkking anything . l...	princessloretta	10	1129	Dec 8, 2008 by princessloretta
	December Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) December 7th Business Meeting Minutes Chair opened with Serenity Prayer.Vote for November Business Meeting Minutes were voted on and accepted. Treasurers report was not received as our treasurer was not able to attend the meeting. Discussion took place about importance of each of the officer...	Mandy123	0	418	Dec 8, 2008 by Mandy123
	What a difference 3 years can make (Preview) I'm thinking how grateful I am to be sitting here in puffy socks, Mickey Mouse ears, being my own wierd self. I am truly happy. 3 years ago on a Saturday night in December I was caring for a sick dog, wondering if my AH was dead, alive, gonna come home or not, if he would just pass out or rant and rave for hours o...	Jennifer	5	502	Dec 8, 2008 by aunitedway
	How do you stop yourself from old habits? (Preview) I'm really frustrated with myself. I've been in the Alanon program for a couple of months. Been going to meetings...reading ODAT and CTC daily...but all the progress I thought I was making went up in smoke yesterday. Came home from work and I knew my AH, who had been sober for a couple of months had been d...	Sis63	10	652	Dec 8, 2008 by aunitedway
	I am having a hard time understanding this one...just plain confused>>>> (Preview) Ex ABF, sober 10 yrs and very much in program, and I have been staying in communication through email and phone. I advised him that I could not be just his friend, and that if he was staying in touch out of obligation to the program or me that I did not want to stay in touch, but if he was staying in touch bec...	shellyj123	8	439	Dec 8, 2008 by Toto814
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.