Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

macintosh · macintosh

I have been reading the posts for quite awhile now and figured it was time to introduce myself. My situation is not really different than most others. Married for 18 years, two boys, 16 and 14. My husband has always drank but was always a responsible person. I used to party every weekend too, before havi...

jensmom · jensmom

Hello, my name is Debbie and I have been married to an alcoholic for 23 years. Is there such a thing as a functioning alcoholic? If there is, then my husband is one of them. He is very successful in his work and has been driving for so long drunk that he actually drives better than when he is sober! I have...

Hopeless · Hopeless

I'm on this setting my boundaries kick with the A = ) After finally getting a restraining order from him he knows I'm serious (at least I hope so)... After 3 weeks of not seeing or talking to one another I just allowed him to start seeing the children (not overnight) so obviously there is now some...

RLC · RLC

To All The MIP family, I would like to get your feedback on "Emotional Detachment, and how you use it, or have used it in dealing with the alcoholic in your life. I was asked that question in a PM from a new member of the board. I answered the member with what I consider to be emotional detachment b...

daisygirl · daisygirl

Well, after everything I have been struggling with regarding my ABF... something else happens. My children were over at there father's house for weekend visitation. I went to pick them up on Sunday. When my teenage boys got in the car, my 15 year old said, "mom, I need to show you what I found in...

Hopeless · Hopeless

I'm sure I'm not the only one that has insecurity issues on this site but I want to share how I'm feeling about a situation regarding the A... I have distance myself with the A as far as him and I are concerned and only talk in regards to our daughter... I drop her off to him and pick her up so I know wh...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

My AH calls me to say how much he loves me and bla bla but that he's not gonna stop drinking, he's gonna keep it under control cause, as an alcoholic that he is, his body will need a little bit of alcohol. I had to stop myself from laughing long enough to say: That's the point. You are an alcoholic and your body...

jimswife · jimswife

I've read through the message board before, just as a lurker, though. I thought I could "be strong" and deal with this as well as supporting my AH's sobriety. I was so wrong... I don't know where to begin, so I'll start here. My husband hit rock bottom right before Thanksgiving and starte...

Courage · Courage

Agenda Meeting opening with "The Serenity Prayer" March Meeting Minutes have not been submitted Review of Op meeting schedule -The current OP Meeting Schedule is as follows:AMMon. - Shimo/No altTues. - Doxie/No altWed. - Iona/No altThurs. - Doxie/No altFri. - Blendergirl/No altSat...

tlcate · tlcate

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42763

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

My AH has a few mornings off for the next 2 weeks, and then he will be unemployed for a while during an intensive prep class to take the bar exam. I've found myself feeling a bit of fear and projecting. His last relapse into alcohol happened when he had mornings off and a lot of free time. There are also o...

John · John

Many times while trying to help, friends and family members actually make the situation worse by enabling the alcoholic.Here's some tips on how to stop enabling the alcoholic from comfortably continuing his current patterns:Cease doing anything that allows the alcoholic to continue their curr...

lyndebi · lyndebi

The major surgery was last Monday. So far it is fine. I will warn you, rotator cuff surgery is horribly painful and you should not be alone! Plus they make it a one day surgery. I had to go back to er the night I got out to get a pain shot! Never was talked to by the doctor, got zero post op directions! When I sobe...

zhotdogs99 · zhotdogs99

I've been a part of my community's Alanon program for about nine months now and it has done nothing short of transforming my outlook on life and my situation. It seems like there are some really seasoned and knoweldgeable Alanon-ers here so I was hoping to get some insight on this looming event that's...

Tracy · Tracy

After my ABF's recent relapse I wanted space. He could see I was detaching and was scared. He tried to manipulate me again. He pushed and promised all the same old stuff. He is attending meetings and is trying to sort his life out. He has only been sober aweek I went shopping yesterday and got angrey...

Gailey · Gailey

I have to say I really loved the movie. I watched it with my husband the first time and with my son and his friend the second time. The second time I noticed something that I did not agree with and I don't think Alanoners agree with in this day and age. When Lois was introduced to Dr Bob's wife and the men said...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

I don't know if you remember my first post from last week. My boyfriend is and alcoholic, and I kicked him out about a month ago, as I don't want my daughter to have to deal with this, and frankly, I can't deal with it anymore, either, especially being the daughter of an alcoholic. Well, A boyfriend volunt...

lmw · lmw

My ex moved to the same town the kids and I live in last summer. He's relapsed a few times since then, drinking in his rented room. He managed to land a job about six weeks ago, and is actually supposed to have insurance coverage through them starting today, covering all of us. In the past six years, h...

LIGHTBULB · LIGHTBULB

Hello I am having trouble logging into the online meetings - I keep getting errors can someone help - I didnt have this problem before Thanks

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I am just wondering if all the bad luck ever ends....my son was involved in a car accident today....he seems to be ok just a concussion and bruised....however, he only had his car for about a month and it is totaled. I swear two steps forward and ten steps back.....my son has come such alo...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Background: -I told my AH to leave 4 weeks ago. -He finally "got it" about 2 weeks ago and went to stay with at his parents camp. -This week he calls to tell me he is getting an apartment. When I agreed I think he was very surprised. -I have spent this week like a load has been removed from my shou...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled meeting Monday morning as I have tests at the hospital and will not be able to return home in time to chair. Hoping someone may be able to step up for me. Love in recovery, Shimo (aka Jeri)

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Hi! I have just come back from a week-long conference. I had a brilliant time - took my son with me and he really relaxed for the 1st time in ages. He was issued with his own "guest" badge of which he was so proud. AH answered the phone to us twice a day (I had threatened to send the police round if...

Hopeless · Hopeless

In a previous post I stated that I talked to the A in regards to seeing his daughter... Per my PFA order he is to get supervised visitation and give me $150 in child support.. When I came home I noticed he didn't leave me anything so I questioned him about this and he stated that he could only give me $75...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

Last time I posted I explained how my Ahusband(we're aeparated) was moving and buying my dream dog just to manipulate me. Well, he called and told me he was sending me pictures of dogs and bla bla. I asked are you buying us (us meaning me and Bianca) a dog? He replied No, I'm buying a dog for myself Ughhh I t...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I am visiting my old roommate this weekend who I have not seen for years. I am feeling that nervousness again - that I won't be accepted, I'll be judged. THis morning I read the Thought for Today from Hazelden and it was a reminder that I need not let the "old" feelings of codpendency and recove...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm being asked to step in and take on a role of responsibility for something that truly is not my responsibility. It is a situation, however, where it may be for the good of someone. I don't want to go into the details of the situation here (saving that for my sponsor.) Ahh... the Al-Anon in me wants to say...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Has anyone ever brought their A to an Al-Anon Meeting? If so what type of reaction did the A have?

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF has come out of a three week relapse. He has lots of consequences to face. Owes £1,500. Lost best friend, kids have detached from him, his mum is really depressed and I can not have a relationship I can see I am very sick too. We have had odd chat and he is really working the programme. He has foun...

China · China

Hello, I think that I am better as the time goes on. I finally think that i can move on. My ex A still around, but he does not affect me as before. Now I have the choice to tell him to leave the house whenever i feel that it is getting to me. I still have issues like insecurities. No one will think that about me sin...

pineapple · pineapple

The good news is that AH hasn't been drinking for over two months now. But we seem to be having trouble adjusting to the whole situation of him being sober. I want him to make some decisions as I'm tired of making all the decisions for the last year. He has a lot of projects and things going on, but when it co...

Courage · Courage

Agenda Meeting opening with "The Serenity Prayer"First Item: April Meeting Minutes Next Item: Review of Op meeting schedule -The current OP Meeting Schedule is as follows:AMMon. - Shimo/No altTues. - Doxie/No altWed. - Iona/No altThurs. - Doxie/No altFri. - Blendergirl/No altSat....

Hopeless · Hopeless

A is a social drinker NEVER drinks at home only at bars... With that being said we have eliminated supervised visits (it was causing more problems, etc)... He is staying at a mutual friends house right now and with the help of my sister she is going to drop and pick up my daughter... The family...

Hopeless · Hopeless

I just fought with myself for an hour on whether I should post this or not = / But.... I realize that I needed support especially from people that know what I'm talking about! I miss my 5 days of having a "normal" family.... Basically my life was based on a weekend of binging from th...

canadianguy · canadianguy

The recent posts about the effects of 'pot' versus 'alcohol', remind me of others that have been debated on here in prior times..... Some examples: hard liquor vs. beer having an A spouse vs. having an A child vs. having an A parent binge users vs. everyday users alcohol vs. other drugs etc, etc.... I b...

daisygirl · daisygirl

After I left his house this morning, I got a text that said, "You mean the world to me can, we talk after work don't want to end this way" He said he was sorry for avoiding me, he was mad and was wrong for hurting me...he didn't want to hurt me. He said he has been struggling with things and would...

FuzzyLogic · FuzzyLogic

My ABF went to the doctor this week. Doc agreed with me and ordered tests to verify that ABF has most likely been suffering TIA's (mini strokes). He then proceeded to give him the death lecture and remind him of all the patients he has lost to this disease called alcholism. Bloated livers, failing organ...

ythannah · ythannah

Didn't want to hijack Hopeless's thread with my own question, so I'm putting it in a separate thread. I realize that I will need to do work with a sponsor to make real progress in my own recovery. Is it best to choose a sponsor from your home group? I ask because my home group is tiny (sometimes only 3 of us...

Destynee · Destynee

My H came home drunk early Sunday morning and just verbally abusive. I told him he couldn't come in so he slept in his truck. About 8 AM sunday he came in and was so verbally abusive to me. The name calling, etc was horrible and in front of my 3 and 1 year old. He ended up punching me in the head and stomach. ...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Is our SHADOW! Happy birthday Shadow.....love ya girl!

daisygirl · daisygirl

Well, I had not heard from him in 35 hours. Had not returned my text or calls. Unlike him unless he is out drinking. So, worried and concerned I stopped by his house on my way to work to make sure he was alright and to get a better understanding of what is going on. Of course he went out Tuesday night (h...

daisygirl · daisygirl

I had ended things with my 41year old ABF and I just couldn't stop thinking of him. I missed him and worried about him drinking. I became a stalker again... making sure he was alright. He is having construction business whoas and with our break up, I worried about him drinking. This past Saturday, a...

Rose · Rose

Why do I start fights with my AH when he hasn't done anything. I have anticipated anxiety about mothers day. Every year I look forward to it only to be let down. He doesn't drink on Mothers Day or my birthday or anyday celebrating 'me' but the days before. And I of course am still upset when it comes to...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

First, it's been at least two weeks since I last posted which considering how often it seemed to be that the day ended with me bawling over the keyboard, that feels like progress! Actually, the progress is just knowing that I have gone from not being able to function anywhere doing anything because I w...

miralake · miralake

Hi everyone. I've been with my husband for 15 years and he was an alcoholic for 14 of those years. He stopped drinking a year ago and is committed to never starting up again, which I was eternally grateful for, for about 20 minutes, until he simply replaced alcohol with pot. He now does all the same things...

lyndebi · lyndebi

major surgery tore tendon off humerus. should not be home.oscar died.He could not stand. I am in horrible pain.hard to feed me

buick23 · buick23

I am having a bad day and noone to talk to. I know these days pass and I'm feeling sorry for myself. Everything I think about today seems to be negative. There are issues that didn't just start bothering me today but I guess I'm just overwhelmed with all the negative right now. One of those black and white t...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF and I have been chatting he is back in AA after his last slip which nearly took him to suicide. I have been running from him so scared not wanting any part not wanting to rescue to enable to watch what was happening. He has been chasing me since he has got back on the programme. Says he now knows how muc...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

The one and only Karilynn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday sweet lady! May your day be full of many blessings. Yours in recovery, Mandy

Dog_ma · Dog_ma

It's a long story, but I'll try to give you all the Cliff notes version. Spent three years with ABF, the last year was us trying to break up. Finally in Aug. 09 I put an end to the roller coaster and the relationship. No contact. Finally I meet a new guy and we hit it off very well. He abandones the relatio...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Just finished watching the movie.."When Love is not Enough"..the story of Lois Wilson.I teared up during the movie,but not until he got sober.After it was over,I cried the 'ugly' cry as Oprah calls it, lol. I identified with her sometimes.I saw as never before the way I had totally given u...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I could use some advice, stories, experience....whatever you're willing to give! I've known my Abf-sober for just about 3 years now, however, I've only "known" him as a dry drunk. I'm thankful that I didn't have to do the binges, blackouts and blowouts that I read on this site daily and my...

Nolaprincess · Nolaprincess

Hello everyone - I am new to the forum although not new to Al-Anon. I have been in a long term marriage with an A who has been sober for a very long time. He has some serious issues through which I have been able to maintain sanity and sometimes serenity by keeping the focus on myself. Lately, I am having...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

When I was at the family week at rehab for my AH, the counselors were talking about us family members and made a statement about us being "f.i.n.e. " and each letter stood for something. Do any of you know what they stand for, I can't remember? I really wanted to write them down to remind me.....

glad · glad

For 4 years (just recently with the dad (69( and 21 year old "girlfriend")motocycle dirt bike racing- my 4 years of participation every other weekend I have noticed it is very typical for any girlfriend/ wife- female watching the rider race to wear a jersy with the rider's number...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Some of you are concerned about your kids. I was talking to my daughter, now 35 almost, about how her brother 34 almost is so anxiety ridden. He worries about things that are 2 years away. Worries he is doing all he is doing for someone to take it away.(house, jeep, boat etc.) She says to me,"Mom we ar...

dalia · dalia

Hi my name is dalia and i'm new here. i had a 9 yr relationship with an addict/alcoholic that i ended 4 years ago. he's been in recovery (aa and counselling) since then, has held the same job for 4 years. the last thing i told him was that i could not do it any more and that he owed it to himself to get treatmen...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

It has been a terrible weekend, we had a day of strongs storms here and a friend of mine died while trying to get into her storm shelter, she fell and hit her head and it was fatal. I loved her and had known her for more than thirty years, she was a wonderful person. Another friend of mine from high school...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

So my husband is moving again, cause that's the solution to our separation and to his alcoholism. I told him again on Saturday that until he gets sober we are not getting back together, and even if he moves to my dream house, I'm staying put in MY house. He says that if he's gonna give me EVERYTHING why I ca...

John · John

Just watched the Hallmark movie, "When Love Isn't Enough", about Lois W. The wife of Bill W. and struggles she endured as the wife of an alcoholic and the beginnings of Al-Anon. I must admit, it put a hump in my throat more than once. What a beautiful story of love, hope, faith and reaching out to other...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	hey everyone, new here (Preview) I have been reading the posts for quite awhile now and figured it was time to introduce myself. My situation is not really different than most others. Married for 18 years, two boys, 16 and 14. My husband has always drank but was always a responsible person. I used to party every weekend too, before havi...	macintosh	8	820	May 6, 2010 by maresie
	Hi, I am new here.... (Preview) Hello, my name is Debbie and I have been married to an alcoholic for 23 years. Is there such a thing as a functioning alcoholic? If there is, then my husband is one of them. He is very successful in his work and has been driving for so long drunk that he actually drives better than when he is sober! I have...	jensmom	17	1021	May 5, 2010 by Bettina
	Boundaries... (Preview) I'm on this setting my boundaries kick with the A = ) After finally getting a restraining order from him he knows I'm serious (at least I hope so)... After 3 weeks of not seeing or talking to one another I just allowed him to start seeing the children (not overnight) so obviously there is now some...	Hopeless	2	1277	May 5, 2010 by maresie
	What Is Emotional Detachment ? (Preview) To All The MIP family, I would like to get your feedback on "Emotional Detachment, and how you use it, or have used it in dealing with the alcoholic in your life. I was asked that question in a PM from a new member of the board. I answered the member with what I consider to be emotional detachment b...	RLC	9	5994	May 5, 2010 by ythannah
	Kids found drugs (Preview) Well, after everything I have been struggling with regarding my ABF... something else happens. My children were over at there father's house for weekend visitation. I went to pick them up on Sunday. When my teenage boys got in the car, my 15 year old said, "mom, I need to show you what I found in...	daisygirl	8	763	May 5, 2010 by maresie
	Frustrated with myself = ( (Preview) I'm sure I'm not the only one that has insecurity issues on this site but I want to share how I'm feeling about a situation regarding the A... I have distance myself with the A as far as him and I are concerned and only talk in regards to our daughter... I drop her off to him and pick her up so I know wh...	Hopeless	6	749	May 5, 2010 by maresie
	Frustrating behavior (Preview) My AH calls me to say how much he loves me and bla bla but that he's not gonna stop drinking, he's gonna keep it under control cause, as an alcoholic that he is, his body will need a little bit of alcohol. I had to stop myself from laughing long enough to say: That's the point. You are an alcoholic and your body...	Priscilla83	6	918	May 5, 2010 by maresie
	I don't know where to start or turn... (Preview) I've read through the message board before, just as a lurker, though. I thought I could "be strong" and deal with this as well as supporting my AH's sobriety. I was so wrong... I don't know where to begin, so I'll start here. My husband hit rock bottom right before Thanksgiving and starte...	jimswife	8	1124	May 4, 2010 by Jennifer
	REVISED May 9, 9pm Chat Room Business Meeting Agenda (Preview) Agenda Meeting opening with "The Serenity Prayer" March Meeting Minutes have not been submitted Review of Op meeting schedule -The current OP Meeting Schedule is as follows:AMMon. - Shimo/No altTues. - Doxie/No altWed. - Iona/No altThurs. - Doxie/No altFri. - Blendergirl/No altSat...	Courage	1	335	May 4, 2010 by belle1
	Step 3 - Step Work Board (Preview) http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42763	tlcate	0	474	May 4, 2010 by tlcate
	I put the phone down :) (Preview) My AH has a few mornings off for the next 2 weeks, and then he will be unemployed for a while during an intensive prep class to take the bar exam. I've found myself feeling a bit of fear and projecting. His last relapse into alcohol happened when he had mornings off and a lot of free time. There are also o...	White Rabbit	3	761	May 4, 2010 by Jerry F
	Tips on how to stop enabling... (Preview) Many times while trying to help, friends and family members actually make the situation worse by enabling the alcoholic.Here's some tips on how to stop enabling the alcoholic from comfortably continuing his current patterns:Cease doing anything that allows the alcoholic to continue their curr...	John	11	13003	May 4, 2010 by T
	my mental sickness (Preview) The major surgery was last Monday. So far it is fine. I will warn you, rotator cuff surgery is horribly painful and you should not be alone! Plus they make it a one day surgery. I had to go back to er the night I got out to get a pain shot! Never was talked to by the doctor, got zero post op directions! When I sobe...	lyndebi	4	607	May 4, 2010 by maresie
	Whether or not to attend wedding with alcoholic fiance? (Preview) I've been a part of my community's Alanon program for about nine months now and it has done nothing short of transforming my outlook on life and my situation. It seems like there are some really seasoned and knoweldgeable Alanon-ers here so I was hoping to get some insight on this looming event that's...	zhotdogs99	9	922	May 4, 2010 by maresie
	what is good for me? (Preview) After my ABF's recent relapse I wanted space. He could see I was detaching and was scared. He tried to manipulate me again. He pushed and promised all the same old stuff. He is attending meetings and is trying to sort his life out. He has only been sober aweek I went shopping yesterday and got angrey...	Tracy	7	824	May 4, 2010 by kitty
	The Lois W movie (Preview) I have to say I really loved the movie. I watched it with my husband the first time and with my son and his friend the second time. The second time I noticed something that I did not agree with and I don't think Alanoners agree with in this day and age. When Lois was introduced to Dr Bob's wife and the men said...	Gailey	18	4235	May 3, 2010 by barisax
	Need Advice (Preview) I don't know if you remember my first post from last week. My boyfriend is and alcoholic, and I kicked him out about a month ago, as I don't want my daughter to have to deal with this, and frankly, I can't deal with it anymore, either, especially being the daughter of an alcoholic. Well, A boyfriend volunt...	jettiesgirl	5	1023	May 3, 2010 by jettiesgirl
	Here he goes again.... (Preview) My ex moved to the same town the kids and I live in last summer. He's relapsed a few times since then, drinking in his rented room. He managed to land a job about six weeks ago, and is actually supposed to have insurance coverage through them starting today, covering all of us. In the past six years, h...	lmw	2	752	May 3, 2010 by maresie
	Cannot log into meeting (Preview) Hello I am having trouble logging into the online meetings - I keep getting errors can someone help - I didnt have this problem before Thanks	LIGHTBULB	2	870	May 3, 2010 by Mandy123
	May god grant us the serenity (Preview) Hello Friends, I am just wondering if all the bad luck ever ends....my son was involved in a car accident today....he seems to be ok just a concussion and bruised....however, he only had his car for about a month and it is totaled. I swear two steps forward and ten steps back.....my son has come such alo...	Andrea12	9	604	May 2, 2010 by shadow1
	He's still in control!!!! (sorry-long) (Preview) Background: -I told my AH to leave 4 weeks ago. -He finally "got it" about 2 weeks ago and went to stay with at his parents camp. -This week he calls to tell me he is getting an apartment. When I agreed I think he was very surprised. -I have spent this week like a load has been removed from my shou...	looking_for_peace	7	990	May 2, 2010 by adonaisgirl
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled meeting Monday morning as I have tests at the hospital and will not be able to return home in time to chair. Hoping someone may be able to step up for me. Love in recovery, Shimo (aka Jeri)	shimo	1	475	May 2, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Heartbreaking (Preview) Hi! I have just come back from a week-long conference. I had a brilliant time - took my son with me and he really relaxed for the 1st time in ages. He was issued with his own "guest" badge of which he was so proud. AH answered the phone to us twice a day (I had threatened to send the police round if...	Tattyhead	10	892	May 2, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Give an inch and they take a mile... (Preview) In a previous post I stated that I talked to the A in regards to seeing his daughter... Per my PFA order he is to get supervised visitation and give me $150 in child support.. When I came home I noticed he didn't leave me anything so I questioned him about this and he stated that he could only give me $75...	Hopeless	5	776	May 2, 2010 by tlcate
	That whole dog ordeal (Preview) Last time I posted I explained how my Ahusband(we're aeparated) was moving and buying my dream dog just to manipulate me. Well, he called and told me he was sending me pictures of dogs and bla bla. I asked are you buying us (us meaning me and Bianca) a dog? He replied No, I'm buying a dog for myself Ughhh I t...	Priscilla83	8	718	May 2, 2010 by xeno59
	Visiting a friend... a new kind of anxiety (Preview) I am visiting my old roommate this weekend who I have not seen for years. I am feeling that nervousness again - that I won't be accepted, I'll be judged. THis morning I read the Thought for Today from Hazelden and it was a reminder that I need not let the "old" feelings of codpendency and recove...	RunnerChick	2	521	May 2, 2010 by xeno59
	Grateful Al-Anon has taught me to PAUSE (Preview) I'm being asked to step in and take on a role of responsibility for something that truly is not my responsibility. It is a situation, however, where it may be for the good of someone. I don't want to go into the details of the situation here (saving that for my sponsor.) Ahh... the Al-Anon in me wants to say...	Aloha	5	1326	May 2, 2010 by tlcate
	Bringing A to meetings (Preview) Has anyone ever brought their A to an Al-Anon Meeting? If so what type of reaction did the A have?	Hopeless	12	878	May 2, 2010 by tlcate
	I can see the disease (Preview) My ABF has come out of a three week relapse. He has lots of consequences to face. Owes £1,500. Lost best friend, kids have detached from him, his mum is really depressed and I can not have a relationship I can see I am very sick too. We have had odd chat and he is really working the programme. He has foun...	Tracy	4	1356	May 1, 2010 by Jerry F
	Feeling Better (Preview) Hello, I think that I am better as the time goes on. I finally think that i can move on. My ex A still around, but he does not affect me as before. Now I have the choice to tell him to leave the house whenever i feel that it is getting to me. I still have issues like insecurities. No one will think that about me sin...	China	3	730	May 1, 2010 by ythannah
	still adjusting (Preview) The good news is that AH hasn't been drinking for over two months now. But we seem to be having trouble adjusting to the whole situation of him being sober. I want him to make some decisions as I'm tired of making all the decisions for the last year. He has a lot of projects and things going on, but when it co...	pineapple	4	811	May 1, 2010 by RLC
	May Chat Room Group Business Meeting Agenda (Preview) Agenda Meeting opening with "The Serenity Prayer"First Item: April Meeting Minutes Next Item: Review of Op meeting schedule -The current OP Meeting Schedule is as follows:AMMon. - Shimo/No altTues. - Doxie/No altWed. - Iona/No altThurs. - Doxie/No altFri. - Blendergirl/No altSat....	Courage	0	469	May 1, 2010 by Courage
	Encouraged = ) (Preview) A is a social drinker NEVER drinks at home only at bars... With that being said we have eliminated supervised visits (it was causing more problems, etc)... He is staying at a mutual friends house right now and with the help of my sister she is going to drop and pick up my daughter... The family...	Hopeless	2	385	May 1, 2010 by sdisnie
	Support.. (Preview) I just fought with myself for an hour on whether I should post this or not = / But.... I realize that I needed support especially from people that know what I'm talking about! I miss my 5 days of having a "normal" family.... Basically my life was based on a weekend of binging from th...	Hopeless	7	818	May 1, 2010 by sdisnie
	Addiction is addiction is addiction.... (Preview) The recent posts about the effects of 'pot' versus 'alcohol', remind me of others that have been debated on here in prior times..... Some examples: hard liquor vs. beer having an A spouse vs. having an A child vs. having an A parent binge users vs. everyday users alcohol vs. other drugs etc, etc.... I b...	canadianguy	6	1372	Apr 30, 2010 by tlcate
	I mean the world to him (Preview) After I left his house this morning, I got a text that said, "You mean the world to me can, we talk after work don't want to end this way" He said he was sorry for avoiding me, he was mad and was wrong for hurting me...he didn't want to hurt me. He said he has been struggling with things and would...	daisygirl	6	781	Apr 30, 2010 by Mattie
	Detox Deadly? (Preview) My ABF went to the doctor this week. Doc agreed with me and ordered tests to verify that ABF has most likely been suffering TIA's (mini strokes). He then proceeded to give him the death lecture and remind him of all the patients he has lost to this disease called alcholism. Bloated livers, failing organ...	FuzzyLogic	10	1249	Apr 30, 2010 by FuzzyLogic
	Sponsorship Question (Preview) Didn't want to hijack Hopeless's thread with my own question, so I'm putting it in a separate thread. I realize that I will need to do work with a sponsor to make real progress in my own recovery. Is it best to choose a sponsor from your home group? I ask because my home group is tiny (sometimes only 3 of us...	ythannah	10	775	Apr 30, 2010 by ythannah
	Had to file a PFA (Preview) My H came home drunk early Sunday morning and just verbally abusive. I told him he couldn't come in so he slept in his truck. About 8 AM sunday he came in and was so verbally abusive to me. The name calling, etc was horrible and in front of my 3 and 1 year old. He ended up punching me in the head and stomach. ...	Destynee	5	830	Apr 30, 2010 by abbyal
	Today's Birthday girl............. (Preview) Is our SHADOW! Happy birthday Shadow.....love ya girl!	Mandy123	6	704	Apr 29, 2010 by Andrea12
	Had not heard from him (Preview) Well, I had not heard from him in 35 hours. Had not returned my text or calls. Unlike him unless he is out drinking. So, worried and concerned I stopped by his house on my way to work to make sure he was alright and to get a better understanding of what is going on. Of course he went out Tuesday night (h...	daisygirl	3	657	Apr 29, 2010 by Priscilla83
	once again (Preview) I had ended things with my 41year old ABF and I just couldn't stop thinking of him. I missed him and worried about him drinking. I became a stalker again... making sure he was alright. He is having construction business whoas and with our break up, I worried about him drinking. This past Saturday, a...	daisygirl	2	720	Apr 29, 2010 by Priscilla83
	Why do I do this........ (Preview) Why do I start fights with my AH when he hasn't done anything. I have anticipated anxiety about mothers day. Every year I look forward to it only to be let down. He doesn't drink on Mothers Day or my birthday or anyday celebrating 'me' but the days before. And I of course am still upset when it comes to...	Rose	10	1242	Apr 29, 2010 by Karilynn
	Thank you and More Questions (of course!) (Preview) First, it's been at least two weeks since I last posted which considering how often it seemed to be that the day ended with me bawling over the keyboard, that feels like progress! Actually, the progress is just knowing that I have gone from not being able to function anywhere doing anything because I w...	Love Always Hopes	3	716	Apr 29, 2010 by kitty
	Is this for me? (Preview) Hi everyone. I've been with my husband for 15 years and he was an alcoholic for 14 of those years. He stopped drinking a year ago and is committed to never starting up again, which I was eternally grateful for, for about 20 minutes, until he simply replaced alcohol with pot. He now does all the same things...	miralake	13	954	Apr 28, 2010 by ythannah
	diva (Preview) major surgery tore tendon off humerus. should not be home.oscar died.He could not stand. I am in horrible pain.hard to feed me	lyndebi	8	766	Apr 28, 2010 by maire rua
	having a bad day (Preview) I am having a bad day and noone to talk to. I know these days pass and I'm feeling sorry for myself. Everything I think about today seems to be negative. There are issues that didn't just start bothering me today but I guess I'm just overwhelmed with all the negative right now. One of those black and white t...	buick23	7	899	Apr 28, 2010 by canadianguy
	scared (Preview) My ABF and I have been chatting he is back in AA after his last slip which nearly took him to suicide. I have been running from him so scared not wanting any part not wanting to rescue to enable to watch what was happening. He has been chasing me since he has got back on the programme. Says he now knows how muc...	Tracy	2	764	Apr 28, 2010 by ythannah
	Happy Birthday wishes to.......................... (Preview) The one and only Karilynn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday sweet lady! May your day be full of many blessings. Yours in recovery, Mandy	Mandy123	14	1034	Apr 28, 2010 by Karilynn
	Just starting to figure this out? (Preview) It's a long story, but I'll try to give you all the Cliff notes version. Spent three years with ABF, the last year was us trying to break up. Finally in Aug. 09 I put an end to the roller coaster and the relationship. No contact. Finally I meet a new guy and we hit it off very well. He abandones the relatio...	Dog_ma	3	805	Apr 28, 2010 by kitty
	Love? or addiction? (Preview) Just finished watching the movie.."When Love is not Enough"..the story of Lois Wilson.I teared up during the movie,but not until he got sober.After it was over,I cried the 'ugly' cry as Oprah calls it, lol. I identified with her sometimes.I saw as never before the way I had totally given u...	drucilla06	3	1237	Apr 27, 2010 by glad lee
	Just when I think I get it......I don't. (Preview) I could use some advice, stories, experience....whatever you're willing to give! I've known my Abf-sober for just about 3 years now, however, I've only "known" him as a dry drunk. I'm thankful that I didn't have to do the binges, blackouts and blowouts that I read on this site daily and my...	lizzakiss	3	828	Apr 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	Keeping the focus on me. (Preview) Hello everyone - I am new to the forum although not new to Al-Anon. I have been in a long term marriage with an A who has been sober for a very long time. He has some serious issues through which I have been able to maintain sanity and sometimes serenity by keeping the focus on myself. Lately, I am having...	Nolaprincess	2	731	Apr 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	I have a question... (Preview) When I was at the family week at rehab for my AH, the counselors were talking about us family members and made a statement about us being "f.i.n.e. " and each letter stood for something. Do any of you know what they stand for, I can't remember? I really wanted to write them down to remind me.....	Sweet Stanley	3	698	Apr 27, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	funny and annoying and weird (Preview) For 4 years (just recently with the dad (69( and 21 year old "girlfriend")motocycle dirt bike racing- my 4 years of participation every other weekend I have noticed it is very typical for any girlfriend/ wife- female watching the rider race to wear a jersy with the rider's number...	glad	2	764	Apr 27, 2010 by tlcate
	Sad Realization (Preview) Some of you are concerned about your kids. I was talking to my daughter, now 35 almost, about how her brother 34 almost is so anxiety ridden. He worries about things that are 2 years away. Worries he is doing all he is doing for someone to take it away.(house, jeep, boat etc.) She says to me,"Mom we ar...	lyndebi	4	898	Apr 27, 2010 by Jozie
	intro and having a really tough week (Preview) Hi my name is dalia and i'm new here. i had a 9 yr relationship with an addict/alcoholic that i ended 4 years ago. he's been in recovery (aa and counselling) since then, has held the same job for 4 years. the last thing i told him was that i could not do it any more and that he owed it to himself to get treatmen...	dalia	2	774	Apr 27, 2010 by Mattie
	Feeling Lost.... (Preview) It has been a terrible weekend, we had a day of strongs storms here and a friend of mine died while trying to get into her storm shelter, she fell and hit her head and it was fatal. I loved her and had known her for more than thirty years, she was a wonderful person. Another friend of mine from high school...	DreamsOver	3	736	Apr 26, 2010 by hotrod
	Denial denial denial (Preview) So my husband is moving again, cause that's the solution to our separation and to his alcoholism. I told him again on Saturday that until he gets sober we are not getting back together, and even if he moves to my dream house, I'm staying put in MY house. He says that if he's gonna give me EVERYTHING why I ca...	Priscilla83	2	799	Apr 26, 2010 by Aloha
	The Story of Lois W.... Wow! (Preview) Just watched the Hallmark movie, "When Love Isn't Enough", about Lois W. The wife of Bill W. and struggles she endured as the wife of an alcoholic and the beginnings of Al-Anon. I must admit, it put a hump in my throat more than once. What a beautiful story of love, hope, faith and reaching out to other...	John	7	1136	Apr 26, 2010 by ythannah
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.