Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

so very sad · so very sad

I am new to your site I am a wreck I have been with my ah for 24 years and have been married to him for 13 .He has been to two rehabs and we are bankrupt beacuse of his drinking which he blames me for the bankrupcy.I have dealt with the lies and the drinking trying to encourage him to stop in every way possible eve...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all... just wanted to let the group know that I won't be able to continue giving away the free GTS books anymore - money is pretty tight around my place these days, and I just can't afford it.... I believe that I have two book remaining, and after those have been given away, I will take down the post at th...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I kept the house that my then-husband and I have lived in since 1989. The house has a huge garage, which was built to acommodate all his power tools, kayaks, and other man toys. Other than his gun safe, which was too darn heavy for him and a friend to move, occupies this mostly empty garage. I do park my ve...

Mattie · Mattie

I've been having a hard time because I've been revisiting a place where my ex and I were very happy. It's hard not to fall into the old thinking, "If only I..." "I bet I could have made it work if..." "If I had just explained to him how his behavior made me feel..." &qu...

Tracy · Tracy

Any ESH would be appreciated. My aprtner has been sober for 8 months 5 months in rehab and 3 in supported living alot of people around him are saying he shou;ld not have a relationship within the first two years of his sobriety. We have cooled things off. In al anon I am also being tole after a big slip th...

Aimee · Aimee

Good afternoon friends! I haven't been to a f2f Al-anon meeting yet but I have been to a few AA meetings with my AH. It was a really great experience, and I heard a lot that rang true for me. Being a very shy, socially awkward person it was really comforting to go with my H and his sponsor and be kind of taken un...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Just wanted to tell you thank you for all your support during this time! Ya made me laugh and got me off my bum, helped me to understand things too. Son is on his way, I have all I need for the electric fence etc. I sure hope the dogs do ok. I have one area completely done for them, well Mac does. I was in Laundrom...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I have felt led to post on this topic for a while now. It is controversial in a way, but I see it as a part of my ESH to share, and it may just help one person who doesn't know what he/she doesn't know. My exAH was drinking/using for many years and I just did not know it. Honestly, I just thought he was a jerk...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Well... I am still going to CA I think. I had a big bout of not being sure if I wanted to go. I told my mom that I didn't & then changed my mind. The other question is: do they have a plan for me while I am there? It has been 9 days since I reported in to you all. I have been to see a new counselor who is OK but is not t...

RunnerMom · RunnerMom

Yesterday I was told (while I said nothing and walked away 5 separate times) the following: - AH is not worrying about me he is simply telling me what he doesn't find acceptable (I have said something like this to him for months now) about my behavior and is finally standing up for himself. - I don't see my...

roonpugs · roonpugs

My AH is almost to week 3wks of sobriety and this week has been just horrible... I DO NOT know how to read him or react to him. He's burying himself into work again when he said he would put us (his family) first he is not, he is angry, depressed, grumpy, touchy, sad (I think) he won't really talk to me. Fo...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

RLC's reply on another thread reminded me of the Alanon reading about pigeons (can't remember if it's in Courage to Change or One Day at a Time). In a nutshell, just says that when you go to the park and sit under a tree with pigeons in it, and pigeons do what pigeons DO, you get pooped on. The pigeons aren...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i know it was just unfortunate timing but i need to transition to a new sponsor, my f2f won't be back til the end of the month and even then she is retiring from service work for a while at least. a bunch of crisis stuff happened literally just a day after she left for vacation and is unreachable. i am not doin...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

Thought you all might find this helpful. It does a good job explaining why we often end up feeling mentally ill when in a relationshp with an addict/alcoholic. Addiction, Lies and Relationships Floyd P. Garrett, M.D. Addiction means always having to say you are sorry à and finally, when being sorry i...

RunnerMom · RunnerMom

My "R"AH has a few weeks of sobriety strung together between periods of drinking a "few" beers (according to him- sure!). He talks a good game, pretends to or maybe is going to AA meetings a lot, has a therapist (who he tells me he sees to deal with my "abuse"?!). He is m...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Watching the news and seeing the devastation of the tornadoes in North Carolina, and wondering how Carolina Girl is... Please let us know! Lou

stargal · stargal

Hi everyone. I'm having quite a tough week. Well, more like a tough few months or even years. I have been with my partner for 10 years. He is alcoholic and sometimes drug user. Why I have stayed this long is beyond me. We've gone through the whole cycle of me kicking him out. Promises made, he come...

Jozie · Jozie

You Know it is Funny at times the Things I learn in al-anon /Life... resently I have went thru a few hurdles in my life, and tho some are Very Hurtful and Very Real... I have learned that when someone speaks of "Perspective" its funny the differance from one person to another in how they "...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

as anybody experienced the silent treatment? is it a "normal" behavior for an alcoholic? some days the AH talks non stop about Tv shows (yay!) and some days its complete silence. if i try to talk about hockey (big sport in canada) or kid or anything that might interest him i get silence. at f...

member922 · member922

I am planning on a wonderful weekend. My "whatever" back and forth A will spend a little time together. I am going to take some time to myself rather than waste it getting irritated with him and his behavior. I will spend half with him and half on my own. Guess we are trying for the millionth t...

Otie · Otie

Thanks Debilyn for the pictures of your sweet animals. I look forward to seeing them. My days have been so difficult lately---and just seeing them reconnects me to my soul for a brief moment. Gratefully, Otie.

Aloha · Aloha

Me and my really long posts again... My HP really, REALLY wanted me to somehow, some way, get involved with the Big Island Bash this year - it's an AA convention with Al-Anon participation. The local AA district primarily puts this on and Al-Anon members volunteer to help out. We've known the Bash was c...

roonpugs · roonpugs

Hi All, So it has been just over two weeks since my AH or do I call him my RAH stopped drinking. He said he's going to try it for awhile and see if it makes a difference in how he feels etc. I just wanted to get some feedback on what other's have experienced when their alcoholic was quitting or attempting reco...

member922 · member922

So I decided to spend this evening at home alone. I just got home and called the A after work. Guess what?? Ugh, he sounded stoned stoned stoned! I am so glad that I stuck to my guns and stayed home instead of dealing with that crap firsthand. Now I am hesitant to go over there tomorrow. I CANNOT stand t...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

My crazies. They are starting to kick in. I'm writing this out so I can see on the computer screen which is the least crazy option and maybe get some ESH from others. My gut is screaming that my AH is lying, lying, lying. My gut knows AH is planning either to hook up with his affair partner or to hide out an...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Sometimes you just feel so broken. You give EVERYTHING to something that falls apart and find yourself standing in the ruins trying to understand what went wrong. Functional Alcoholic. I think that is why so many of us end up in the mess we are in because at first we think the problems are normal couple p...

Debilyn · Debilyn

BORED!! I am freaking bored. sigh. I didn't even allow my kids or students to say that word! I have sat here as long as I can. Been reading a ton, that's cool. Everything that can be ready is. Pouring rain or I would do out and take my gliders apart.I love GREEN Oregon. This is crazy, a lot of you are in such tu...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...just dropping off the address to the new Al-Anon e-site. My wife and I were scanning it today and it is much more up-beat. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Give it a gander. In support (((hugs)))

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all, went to a great meeting tonight. Met a lot of new people which is always inspiring. It is a step meeting, and although I am still working on the first few steps, the group discussed step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I got t...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I really don`t know how to condense this but I will try. I also don`t mean to be throwing everyone in the mental health field under the bus so to speak but this has been predominately my experience. My grandaughter who is now 7 had been in my custody when she was about 3. Her dad who had just gotten out of pris...

mle612 · mle612

I started writing my story last night, but got too emotional to finish. I could write a book and I am only 5 months into my relationship. My fiance told me pretty much up front that he was a recovering A. I could live with someone in recovery...we all have our baggage. We would go out and he would drink a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://community.webshots.com/user/gypsygma Everyone of these babies were so loved. Even if they came in trying to kill us, and some did!But every single one, learned they were loved and safe and found a home. They turned so sweet. We only lost them to age, or they were too abused to live much longer...

Aimee · Aimee

Last night my RAH was out of town for work and he called me at night to go on and on about how awful his day was, he hates his job, he lost a big sale, blah, blah, blah. And then something different happened! Instead of joining him in his rotten mood, I continued to have a lovely night, watched Real Housewives...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I don't know what to do, think or feel. I have been with my Abf for almost three years. In that time, he has never taken a drink. he has been "sober" for 8 years. Or the more appropriate term, dry. He doesn't work his program so I've learned he's not truly sober. Through alanon I've learne...

lostinDC · lostinDC

I am new to this website (and group). I have spent the last few days reading alot of the old posts. WOW! I never thought I was completely alone, but I never thought that I would hear so many things that were almost exact to my situation. Thanks to everyone for sharing. My story in a nutshell: I met my AH o...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

As some of you know, I've begun to attend meetings and benefiting greatly. Kinda weird last night - my sister, who is a recovering A for 30+ years, went with me. We've never, ever been close! This was the first thing we've ever done together - just the 2 of us. The "Little Jewel I'm referring to is t...

Evian · Evian

My morning today was awesome! Talked with a really good friend of mine... she is always so hard to get a hold of.. and found out that I'm eligible for Gov't funding to go back to school... YAY!!! Then 1pm hits, knock at the door. It was the CAS worker, serving me with court papers.. looks like we are going to...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Maybe how we were brought up has a lot to do with accepting we cannot control an A or anyone else? I grew up not hearing the word should much. We innately knew the rules. No one told us not to drink, not to smoke, not to do drugs etc. My brothers, and I, dressed clean and nice, did not party, we had lots of fun, bu...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

So, I was so proud of myself-I did not contact my exabf on his birthday. Today, a friend of mine tells me, she saw him out with some girl..I really didn't want to know, but she tells me what the girl looked like. I know I shouldn't have, but I did some online sleuthing and found out, yes, he's been hanging out...

parfait624 · parfait624

So I have read in books, heard in meetings, and seen it on this board that most addicts want sex and do all sorts of things to get it. However I am curious because I have the opposite problem with my exabf. The reason I am asking is because we are going to be getting together in a week and a half to talk about s...

gladysg · gladysg

I am working hard on not verbally bashing my husband. I do not do it intentionally, but sometimes even the truth sounds so bad that I cant seem to sugar coat it to make sense. I wish I had some 1-liners to make it sound better or get out of providing an answer. This situation is gettign to the point that peop...

chastine · chastine

My husband Joshua and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. Before we got married he had just started recovery and he was doing really well. We had delt with all our issues about him lying to me about drinking and all the hurtful things that went along with his drinking. We were GREAT. We got married when I w...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My adult addicted son has been showing all the signs of reverting back to using again. I have been holding my breath since his rehab last Oct. hoping for a good out come, but last evening he came over to my house, very hostile when asked any questions, was not clean, eyes not clear. My heart has been poundi...

HopefulMom · HopefulMom

Hello, I am new to this life. The world of self love. I have been abused my whole life. I am a divorced mom of 3. I am currently working on finding myself. Setting bounderies, and learning what makes me happy in life. I took care of both my parents when I was a child. They were both on drugs, and later...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, just wanted to let you all know i am feeling a lot better today. I reached out to al anon memebers and the support i recieved fro this site and memebers of my group pulled me through a difficult time again. As per usual there was a lesson within the pain from my Hp in fact more than one. Firstl...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi. I just wanted to share my experiences over the past couple weeks hoping it will help someone and maybe get some feedback from others who have been there. After 2 months of working the steps with his amazing sponsor I discovered that my AH cheated on me twice during his relapse this past winter. This t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well today is my last day at work before being laid off. Been here five years. Everyone think good thoughts for me :)

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Last week AH was in hospital (again!) with suspected internal bleeding. A blood transfusion, anti-withdrawal drugs and a lot of other care later he was discharged, still very unwell but, hey, this is the NHS (National Health Service: The British Healthcare system) and as soon as you can stand and w...

parfait624 · parfait624

Just looking for some outside input. I seen my exabf at a friends birthday party this weekend. It didn't go to bad he is still sober but is deeper then ever in his gambling addiction. He fully admited being at the casino the previous three nights till the early hours in the morning. Of course he didn't...

Chelle3 · Chelle3

I would love to hear stories of those who are "happily" married to an active alcoholic or at least at peace in the relationship. I feel somewhat at peace now, and have heard that Alanon has created peace for many marriages with alcoholism that is active. I think myself and others would fin...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

Hi everyone, here I am feeling fine about living on my own and great about my dettachment. My exAH was dropping off my 2 1/2 year old and he mentioned that there is a court ordered parenting class we have to attend and he wanted me to set it up since I have a more hectic schedule. I said sure no problem. He sa...

Tracy · Tracy

so my A is 7 months sober and really working on himself. we are having a break to concentrate on our recoveries. I am really battling with resentments, its so hard. My A loves me I know this but my needs have have gone unmet for so long. I am meeting my own needs as best I can but I desire a partner who is sup...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I know I've already said it before, but I cant express how grateful I am to have found this site. I have been in this situation before so many times - my Abf calls me or I call him and he's been drinking but completely denies it. I end up staying awake for a long time being really angry at him and thinking about...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

I wanted to let you all know, I took everyone's advice and refrained from sending anything to my ex, or texting him or anything. I have to admit, it was a little hard for me. I kept thinking, he's going to think I hate him...he's not going ot understand why I would ignore his birthday...times when we broke...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Have to vent. ugh My hands are arthritic and sorta numb. The dumb doorknobs in my farm house are cheap. All the fencing is up at the cabin. Yesterday I was preparing for one last trip up to stay at our new home. I didn't get the door shut. All my 6 dogs ran out the door. I freaked, no fence. Great Pyrenees, Newf...

Tracy · Tracy

I have to get away my sober abf is o.k now lots of supprt and I am on my knees he will not even answer the phone after all the times i was there for him. I am in such pain can not eat trying hard yohurts and stuff never slept last night tried to rest mcuh as can. I am havig panic attacks my parent and brother are tr...

Mrs_B · Mrs_B

Hi All, I'm new here so I haven't had the chance to navigate the website much quite yet, but I'll get there. :) While I have never been an active member of Al-Anon, I could have probably began using it since the day I was born. My mother and father are alcoholics/prior drug addicts, and my stepdad is a recov...

Evian · Evian

The kids and I went down to see AH this weekend. After a couple of weeks of feeling lost, lonely, anxious and all, I came to realize this weekend that there was really no need to feel that way. Yes, he spent time with the kids and my Dad on saturday, and they all had a great day. Late in the day on Saturday, AH an...

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

I'm interested in learning from others the ways they have personally been affected or were affected by another one's addiction and recovery tools if any they have found useful. Making lists helps me come out of denial and help me focus on helping myself. Hopefully others will like this topic too.

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

Just before admitting herself to the hospital my wife ended a 1 week binge by playing beach volleyball with a volleyball social group that she has done a lot of drinking with. One of the guys from the club ended taking her home and then dropping her off in the morning (while I was getting the kids ready f...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Please if anyone has any advice I need it (Preview) I am new to your site I am a wreck I have been with my ah for 24 years and have been married to him for 13 .He has been to two rehabs and we are bankrupt beacuse of his drinking which he blames me for the bankrupcy.I have dealt with the lies and the drinking trying to encourage him to stop in every way possible eve...	so very sad	12	1210	Apr 19, 2011 by so very sad
	No more free books.... :) (Preview) Hi all... just wanted to let the group know that I won't be able to continue giving away the free GTS books anymore - money is pretty tight around my place these days, and I just can't afford it.... I believe that I have two book remaining, and after those have been given away, I will take down the post at th...	canadianguy	6	1192	Apr 19, 2011 by Debilyn
	An Artifact of One of My Old Behaviors (Preview) I kept the house that my then-husband and I have lived in since 1989. The house has a huge garage, which was built to acommodate all his power tools, kayaks, and other man toys. Other than his gun safe, which was too darn heavy for him and a friend to move, occupies this mostly empty garage. I do park my ve...	GailMichelle	8	682	Apr 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Even my subconscious knows (Preview) I've been having a hard time because I've been revisiting a place where my ex and I were very happy. It's hard not to fall into the old thinking, "If only I..." "I bet I could have made it work if..." "If I had just explained to him how his behavior made me feel..." &qu...	Mattie	7	730	Apr 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	sobriety/relationships (Preview) Any ESH would be appreciated. My aprtner has been sober for 8 months 5 months in rehab and 3 in supported living alot of people around him are saying he shou;ld not have a relationship within the first two years of his sobriety. We have cooled things off. In al anon I am also being tole after a big slip th...	Tracy	7	3355	Apr 19, 2011 by Tracy
	AA meetings (Preview) Good afternoon friends! I haven't been to a f2f Al-anon meeting yet but I have been to a few AA meetings with my AH. It was a really great experience, and I heard a lot that rang true for me. Being a very shy, socially awkward person it was really comforting to go with my H and his sponsor and be kind of taken un...	Aimee	8	657	Apr 19, 2011 by Aimee
	moven up and staying today (Preview) Just wanted to tell you thank you for all your support during this time! Ya made me laugh and got me off my bum, helped me to understand things too. Son is on his way, I have all I need for the electric fence etc. I sure hope the dogs do ok. I have one area completely done for them, well Mac does. I was in Laundrom...	Debilyn	5	813	Apr 19, 2011 by DreamsOver
	"Forced" Recovery (Preview) I have felt led to post on this topic for a while now. It is controversial in a way, but I see it as a part of my ESH to share, and it may just help one person who doesn't know what he/she doesn't know. My exAH was drinking/using for many years and I just did not know it. Honestly, I just thought he was a jerk...	Loupiness	5	760	Apr 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	still uncertainty (Preview) Well... I am still going to CA I think. I had a big bout of not being sure if I wanted to go. I told my mom that I didn't & then changed my mind. The other question is: do they have a plan for me while I am there? It has been 9 days since I reported in to you all. I have been to see a new counselor who is OK but is not t...	Hoot Nanny	2	481	Apr 18, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Crazy making (Preview) Yesterday I was told (while I said nothing and walked away 5 separate times) the following: - AH is not worrying about me he is simply telling me what he doesn't find acceptable (I have said something like this to him for months now) about my behavior and is finally standing up for himself. - I don't see my...	RunnerMom	11	1019	Apr 18, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Weeks keep getting worse... (Preview) My AH is almost to week 3wks of sobriety and this week has been just horrible... I DO NOT know how to read him or react to him. He's burying himself into work again when he said he would put us (his family) first he is not, he is angry, depressed, grumpy, touchy, sad (I think) he won't really talk to me. Fo...	roonpugs	8	697	Apr 18, 2011 by Loupiness
	Pigeons ... taking things personally (Preview) RLC's reply on another thread reminded me of the Alanon reading about pigeons (can't remember if it's in Courage to Change or One Day at a Time). In a nutshell, just says that when you go to the park and sit under a tree with pigeons in it, and pigeons do what pigeons DO, you get pooped on. The pigeons aren...	White Rabbit	7	3869	Apr 17, 2011 by danielle0516
	not doing well without sponsor (Preview) i know it was just unfortunate timing but i need to transition to a new sponsor, my f2f won't be back til the end of the month and even then she is retiring from service work for a while at least. a bunch of crisis stuff happened literally just a day after she left for vacation and is unreachable. i am not doin...	purpleraven	4	761	Apr 17, 2011 by purpleraven
	article: Addiction, Lying and Relationships (Preview) Thought you all might find this helpful. It does a good job explaining why we often end up feeling mentally ill when in a relationshp with an addict/alcoholic. Addiction, Lies and Relationships Floyd P. Garrett, M.D. Addiction means always having to say you are sorry à and finally, when being sorry i...	drummerchick423	14	1420	Apr 17, 2011 by hotrod
	NOTHING IS DIFFERENT (Preview) My "R"AH has a few weeks of sobriety strung together between periods of drinking a "few" beers (according to him- sure!). He talks a good game, pretends to or maybe is going to AA meetings a lot, has a therapist (who he tells me he sees to deal with my "abuse"?!). He is m...	RunnerMom	7	1181	Apr 17, 2011 by parfait624
	Carolina Girl... (Preview) Watching the news and seeing the devastation of the tornadoes in North Carolina, and wondering how Carolina Girl is... Please let us know! Lou	Loupiness	1	530	Apr 17, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Introduction (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm having quite a tough week. Well, more like a tough few months or even years. I have been with my partner for 10 years. He is alcoholic and sometimes drug user. Why I have stayed this long is beyond me. We've gone through the whole cycle of me kicking him out. Promises made, he come...	stargal	8	691	Apr 17, 2011 by DreamXL
	Prespective??, Precieve?? (Preview) You Know it is Funny at times the Things I learn in al-anon /Life... resently I have went thru a few hurdles in my life, and tho some are Very Hurtful and Very Real... I have learned that when someone speaks of "Perspective" its funny the differance from one person to another in how they "...	Jozie	3	1055	Apr 17, 2011 by abbyal
	Silent treatment (Preview) as anybody experienced the silent treatment? is it a "normal" behavior for an alcoholic? some days the AH talks non stop about Tv shows (yay!) and some days its complete silence. if i try to talk about hockey (big sport in canada) or kid or anything that might interest him i get silence. at f...	Crazy Frog	8	4455	Apr 17, 2011 by abbyal
	Happy Weekend!!! (Preview) I am planning on a wonderful weekend. My "whatever" back and forth A will spend a little time together. I am going to take some time to myself rather than waste it getting irritated with him and his behavior. I will spend half with him and half on my own. Guess we are trying for the millionth t...	member922	8	820	Apr 16, 2011 by likemyheart
	Thanking Debilyn for her babies (Preview) Thanks Debilyn for the pictures of your sweet animals. I look forward to seeing them. My days have been so difficult lately---and just seeing them reconnects me to my soul for a brief moment. Gratefully, Otie.	Otie	3	647	Apr 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Seeing recovery working for me (Preview) Me and my really long posts again... My HP really, REALLY wanted me to somehow, some way, get involved with the Big Island Bash this year - it's an AA convention with Al-Anon participation. The local AA district primarily puts this on and Al-Anon members volunteer to help out. We've known the Bash was c...	Aloha	1	593	Apr 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Emotions running high with newly recovering AH (Preview) Hi All, So it has been just over two weeks since my AH or do I call him my RAH stopped drinking. He said he's going to try it for awhile and see if it makes a difference in how he feels etc. I just wanted to get some feedback on what other's have experienced when their alcoholic was quitting or attempting reco...	roonpugs	13	816	Apr 16, 2011 by Sheral
	Made a good choice, but a broken record (Preview) So I decided to spend this evening at home alone. I just got home and called the A after work. Guess what?? Ugh, he sounded stoned stoned stoned! I am so glad that I stuck to my guns and stayed home instead of dealing with that crap firsthand. Now I am hesitant to go over there tomorrow. I CANNOT stand t...	member922	7	790	Apr 16, 2011 by member922
	Feeling my crazies starting to build (Preview) My crazies. They are starting to kick in. I'm writing this out so I can see on the computer screen which is the least crazy option and maybe get some ESH from others. My gut is screaming that my AH is lying, lying, lying. My gut knows AH is planning either to hook up with his affair partner or to hide out an...	Very Very Tired	11	818	Apr 16, 2011 by RunnerMom
	Functional Alcoholic (Preview) Sometimes you just feel so broken. You give EVERYTHING to something that falls apart and find yourself standing in the ruins trying to understand what went wrong. Functional Alcoholic. I think that is why so many of us end up in the mess we are in because at first we think the problems are normal couple p...	likemyheart	10	2989	Apr 16, 2011 by mle612
	Am going to say a bad word! (Preview) BORED!! I am freaking bored. sigh. I didn't even allow my kids or students to say that word! I have sat here as long as I can. Been reading a ton, that's cool. Everything that can be ready is. Pouring rain or I would do out and take my gliders apart.I love GREEN Oregon. This is crazy, a lot of you are in such tu...	Debilyn	4	619	Apr 15, 2011 by Loupiness
	Check it out!! (Preview) Aloha Family...just dropping off the address to the new Al-Anon e-site. My wife and I were scanning it today and it is much more up-beat. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Give it a gander. In support (((hugs)))	Jerry F	4	987	Apr 15, 2011 by danielle0516
	Need some advice... (Preview) Hi all, went to a great meeting tonight. Met a lot of new people which is always inspiring. It is a step meeting, and although I am still working on the first few steps, the group discussed step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I got t...	Corgi2	6	666	Apr 15, 2011 by Corgi2
	I need some help or suggestions... (Preview) I really don`t know how to condense this but I will try. I also don`t mean to be throwing everyone in the mental health field under the bus so to speak but this has been predominately my experience. My grandaughter who is now 7 had been in my custody when she was about 3. Her dad who had just gotten out of pris...	Samsgram	10	906	Apr 15, 2011 by Samsgram
	New to this (Preview) I started writing my story last night, but got too emotional to finish. I could write a book and I am only 5 months into my relationship. My fiance told me pretty much up front that he was a recovering A. I could live with someone in recovery...we all have our baggage. We would go out and he would drink a...	mle612	9	817	Apr 15, 2011 by mle612
	For Otie (Preview) http://community.webshots.com/user/gypsygma Everyone of these babies were so loved. Even if they came in trying to kill us, and some did!But every single one, learned they were loved and safe and found a home. They turned so sweet. We only lost them to age, or they were too abused to live much longer...	Debilyn	0	491	Apr 15, 2011 by Debilyn
	Patting myself on the back * pat pat * (Preview) Last night my RAH was out of town for work and he called me at night to go on and on about how awful his day was, he hates his job, he lost a big sale, blah, blah, blah. And then something different happened! Instead of joining him in his rotten mood, I continued to have a lovely night, watched Real Housewives...	Aimee	3	751	Apr 15, 2011 by Debilyn
	Save me from my sick head (Preview) I don't know what to do, think or feel. I have been with my Abf for almost three years. In that time, he has never taken a drink. he has been "sober" for 8 years. Or the more appropriate term, dry. He doesn't work his program so I've learned he's not truly sober. Through alanon I've learne...	lizzakiss	5	866	Apr 15, 2011 by hotrod
	new here and surprised so many stories sound like mine (Preview) I am new to this website (and group). I have spent the last few days reading alot of the old posts. WOW! I never thought I was completely alone, but I never thought that I would hear so many things that were almost exact to my situation. Thanks to everyone for sharing. My story in a nutshell: I met my AH o...	lostinDC	6	710	Apr 15, 2011 by Jerry F
	A Little Jewel (Preview) As some of you know, I've begun to attend meetings and benefiting greatly. Kinda weird last night - my sister, who is a recovering A for 30+ years, went with me. We've never, ever been close! This was the first thing we've ever done together - just the 2 of us. The "Little Jewel I'm referring to is t...	GailMichelle	8	677	Apr 14, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Good news day and then.... (Preview) My morning today was awesome! Talked with a really good friend of mine... she is always so hard to get a hold of.. and found out that I'm eligible for Gov't funding to go back to school... YAY!!! Then 1pm hits, knock at the door. It was the CAS worker, serving me with court papers.. looks like we are going to...	Evian	6	868	Apr 14, 2011 by Jerry F
	Just dawned on me, and what about you? (Preview) Maybe how we were brought up has a lot to do with accepting we cannot control an A or anyone else? I grew up not hearing the word should much. We innately knew the rules. No one told us not to drink, not to smoke, not to do drugs etc. My brothers, and I, dressed clean and nice, did not party, we had lots of fun, bu...	Debilyn	6	472	Apr 14, 2011 by danielle0516
	AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, need support (Preview) So, I was so proud of myself-I did not contact my exabf on his birthday. Today, a friend of mine tells me, she saw him out with some girl..I really didn't want to know, but she tells me what the girl looked like. I know I shouldn't have, but I did some online sleuthing and found out, yes, he's been hanging out...	drummerchick423	13	858	Apr 14, 2011 by drummerchick423
	Let's talk about sex (Preview) So I have read in books, heard in meetings, and seen it on this board that most addicts want sex and do all sorts of things to get it. However I am curious because I have the opposite problem with my exabf. The reason I am asking is because we are going to be getting together in a week and a half to talk about s...	parfait624	22	5440	Apr 14, 2011 by parfait624
	Watch my tongue! (Preview) I am working hard on not verbally bashing my husband. I do not do it intentionally, but sometimes even the truth sounds so bad that I cant seem to sugar coat it to make sense. I wish I had some 1-liners to make it sound better or get out of providing an answer. This situation is gettign to the point that peop...	gladysg	7	801	Apr 14, 2011 by White Rabbit
	husband was sober for 4yrs now drinking (Preview) My husband Joshua and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. Before we got married he had just started recovery and he was doing really well. We had delt with all our issues about him lying to me about drinking and all the hurtful things that went along with his drinking. We were GREAT. We got married when I w...	chastine	13	3219	Apr 14, 2011 by chastine
	Seeing The Signs (Again)... (Preview) My adult addicted son has been showing all the signs of reverting back to using again. I have been holding my breath since his rehab last Oct. hoping for a good out come, but last evening he came over to my house, very hostile when asked any questions, was not clean, eyes not clear. My heart has been poundi...	DreamsOver	6	723	Apr 14, 2011 by maff52
	New to Life on my own... (Preview) Hello, I am new to this life. The world of self love. I have been abused my whole life. I am a divorced mom of 3. I am currently working on finding myself. Setting bounderies, and learning what makes me happy in life. I took care of both my parents when I was a child. They were both on drugs, and later...	HopefulMom	4	343	Apr 13, 2011 by flopadopilus
	feeling better. (Preview) Hi everyone, just wanted to let you all know i am feeling a lot better today. I reached out to al anon memebers and the support i recieved fro this site and memebers of my group pulled me through a difficult time again. As per usual there was a lesson within the pain from my Hp in fact more than one. Firstl...	Tracy	5	648	Apr 13, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Drinking, Cheating, & Moving On (Preview) Hi. I just wanted to share my experiences over the past couple weeks hoping it will help someone and maybe get some feedback from others who have been there. After 2 months of working the steps with his amazing sponsor I discovered that my AH cheated on me twice during his relapse this past winter. This t...	Aimee	13	1821	Apr 13, 2011 by Aimee
	Last day (Preview) Well today is my last day at work before being laid off. Been here five years. Everyone think good thoughts for me :)	carolinagirl	3	737	Apr 13, 2011 by roonpugs
	Disappointed - again! (Preview) Last week AH was in hospital (again!) with suspected internal bleeding. A blood transfusion, anti-withdrawal drugs and a lot of other care later he was discharged, still very unwell but, hey, this is the NHS (National Health Service: The British Healthcare system) and as soon as you can stand and w...	Tattyhead	8	1074	Apr 13, 2011 by Tattyhead
	How do I approach this? (Preview) Just looking for some outside input. I seen my exabf at a friends birthday party this weekend. It didn't go to bad he is still sober but is deeper then ever in his gambling addiction. He fully admited being at the casino the previous three nights till the early hours in the morning. Of course he didn't...	parfait624	11	883	Apr 13, 2011 by parfait624
	Those coping well with marriage to an active alcoholic.... (Preview) I would love to hear stories of those who are "happily" married to an active alcoholic or at least at peace in the relationship. I feel somewhat at peace now, and have heard that Alanon has created peace for many marriages with alcoholism that is active. I think myself and others would fin...	Chelle3	11	1030	Apr 13, 2011 by wildthang86
	Let down again (Preview) Hi everyone, here I am feeling fine about living on my own and great about my dettachment. My exAH was dropping off my 2 1/2 year old and he mentioned that there is a court ordered parenting class we have to attend and he wanted me to set it up since I have a more hectic schedule. I said sure no problem. He sa...	flopadopilus	9	779	Apr 13, 2011 by White Rabbit
	acceptance (Preview) so my A is 7 months sober and really working on himself. we are having a break to concentrate on our recoveries. I am really battling with resentments, its so hard. My A loves me I know this but my needs have have gone unmet for so long. I am meeting my own needs as best I can but I desire a partner who is sup...	Tracy	6	718	Apr 13, 2011 by missmikey
	Step one is a battle (Preview) I know I've already said it before, but I cant express how grateful I am to have found this site. I have been in this situation before so many times - my Abf calls me or I call him and he's been drinking but completely denies it. I end up staying awake for a long time being really angry at him and thinking about...	Corgi2	9	764	Apr 12, 2011 by Corgi2
	my exabf's birthday (Preview) I wanted to let you all know, I took everyone's advice and refrained from sending anything to my ex, or texting him or anything. I have to admit, it was a little hard for me. I kept thinking, he's going to think I hate him...he's not going ot understand why I would ignore his birthday...times when we broke...	drummerchick423	3	366	Apr 12, 2011 by maresie
	Nightmare day (Preview) Have to vent. ugh My hands are arthritic and sorta numb. The dumb doorknobs in my farm house are cheap. All the fencing is up at the cabin. Yesterday I was preparing for one last trip up to stay at our new home. I didn't get the door shut. All my 6 dogs ran out the door. I freaked, no fence. Great Pyrenees, Newf...	Debilyn	9	867	Apr 12, 2011 by pineapple
	panic (Preview) I have to get away my sober abf is o.k now lots of supprt and I am on my knees he will not even answer the phone after all the times i was there for him. I am in such pain can not eat trying hard yohurts and stuff never slept last night tried to rest mcuh as can. I am havig panic attacks my parent and brother are tr...	Tracy	9	535	Apr 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	New Here. Hi. (Preview) Hi All, I'm new here so I haven't had the chance to navigate the website much quite yet, but I'll get there. :) While I have never been an active member of Al-Anon, I could have probably began using it since the day I was born. My mother and father are alcoholics/prior drug addicts, and my stepdad is a recov...	Mrs_B	8	818	Apr 12, 2011 by Mrs_B
	WOW!! What a real eye opener! (Preview) The kids and I went down to see AH this weekend. After a couple of weeks of feeling lost, lonely, anxious and all, I came to realize this weekend that there was really no need to feel that way. Yes, he spent time with the kids and my Dad on saturday, and they all had a great day. Late in the day on Saturday, AH an...	Evian	12	838	Apr 12, 2011 by Evian
	How have YOU been affected by someone's alcohol/drug addiction? (Preview) I'm interested in learning from others the ways they have personally been affected or were affected by another one's addiction and recovery tools if any they have found useful. Making lists helps me come out of denial and help me focus on helping myself. Hopefully others will like this topic too.	Stillalive2dream	12	776	Apr 12, 2011 by judthryn
	up then down - long (Preview) Just before admitting herself to the hospital my wife ended a 1 week binge by playing beach volleyball with a volleyball social group that she has done a lot of drinking with. One of the guys from the club ended taking her home and then dropping her off in the morning (while I was getting the kids ready f...	DadtoCandE	8	1300	Apr 12, 2011 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.