Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Pushka · Pushka

I'm very interested in continuing step work online here, when I click on the link it doesn't appear that anything really new or relavent has been posted upon for a long time? That was what I read at a glance and noticed I had to re-register. Is there a step work link that is relavent at this point?

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I live in NYC with my AH of 14 months. He is seeking treatment via IOP and by attending meetings. He works sporadically and I pay most of the bills. I am a lawyer and very very busy - small office, not a lot of people to talk to. I've started going back to church and attend al anon twice a week but I still feel iso...

Debilyn · Debilyn

There is some nut harrassing me online. I caught him pretending to be someone else and told him to go away. Now he is on another site, my JW meeting site doing it. So unbeknowest to me...He wrote that message I got and used pictures from a guy I thought was cool a long time ago. It was another lie. Now I know wh...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I am just so upset right now...My daughter informed me that my grandaughter is not staying at my house as often anymore and she is hiring a 15 yr old to watch her. She said my gd apparently does not respect her (my d) enough when she leaves my house. She feels I`am a bad influence on her. Or that she respects m...

Hermom · Hermom

I hope so because it's the only feeling I have left after rehabs, jails, psyche wards, kicking her out,3 years of sobriety out on her own, relapse, hospitals, anxiety, panic attacks, lose all she has, moving back home, AA, Relapse, AA, relapse, , kicking her back out, and now I'm back to square one deal...

Debilyn · Debilyn

My stomach is all twisted, I feel like crying. Over what? There is someone interested in me. He is my religion, sounds so much like me. He contacted me. For years I have prayed for this. Then when there is a chance,I freeze up. Feel unworthy. I don't know why I care, I don't usually, but I think, well what if...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

So this has been a hard thing for me, I know that in order to really be successful I need a sponsor. To hold me to attending meetings, hold me accountable for working the steps, and having someone that I can call when the A's in my life push me hard and I let them get the best of me. Maybe it's just easier for som...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i'm in a sticky situation involving my ex-A. not that i want to be involved with him, but i'm 12 weeks pregnant, conceived just a week before he left us without warning. i had to tell him via email, he'd cut off all contact. now i'm regretting telling him, since i expect nothing from him ... but, isn't it th...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

I am new to this webpage. I found out a year ago that my husband had a problem with alcohol. I also found out that he had lied to me about many other things besides the alcohol. When we first met he was still in a relationship with his wife, although he told me they were still married, but seperated and only li...

lifewontwait · lifewontwait

Hi everyone, I've been reading the board for about a month, and feel like it's time for me to join in on the conversations. I first want to say that I appreciate that this board and it's members are here any time day or night that I need some ESH. It's really been a great resource for me, and that's why I want t...

John · John

Hello everyone, As many of us already know, the economy is taking a toll on so many people, so hard that life as we once knew it has changed. So it is with me. As I write this post I am struggling to just keep my head above water, but the water is rising very fast. And I am reaching out for help. At one time, th...

hopeful411 · hopeful411

my ab and i have been off and on for many years we have a young child. I am currently in counseling and we are working on making our family work....well so i thought. 1 week he wants the help and admits the problems. Another week its hed rather be an alcoholic then have me nagging him. I'm stronlgy encou...

jamfu · jamfu

This morning I began to reflect on a passage I read in my how al-anon works book. In summary it read that the family holding the A out of the water to keep her head from getting wet only supports the disease further to enable her destructive behavior. This made me very angry at her family. They have been doi...

chinup · chinup

gues id thought she was gonna really abandone me completely,but she called me this am and was such a sweet conversation and i got to tell her what was really going on with me ,,,,female problems,im 48 y/0,hormones r really playing games with me lol,but any ways thought id give yall the update hm i typed t...

chinup · chinup

took my whole day in court with him back in forth i had to hunt down my witness ,all for nothing the law had the dates mixed up when he actually sliced my brand new tires it had been a yr ago and i couldnt remember took them that long to catch up with him on some other charges that his boss bailed him out of,but b...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS was lashing out last night when he can't get what he wants from me, telling me that I didn't raise him right and that is why his life is in the tank now. I know that he was loved, cared for, we were not perfect (he was our first child), we were young and viewed life in a very simple way. I know how they talk...

Red Hawk · Red Hawk

The last several days, the internal pressure's been building up again. I was aware of it, but thought I was controlling it pretty well and everything was fine. Then yesterday, I made a comment to a co-worker which apparently was far nastier than I realized. Not the comment itself (although I shouldn...

alexious79 · alexious79

I'm new here. I dont know who else to talk to. My partner has started to drink again after 10 weeks of being dry. I'm so so upset as I dont want it to go back to how it was. In the past 10 weeks, I had my best friend back, I fell back in love and had butterflies. I couldnt wait for him to wake up in the morning so I coul...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I cannot say enough how wonderful it is to have meetings to get to and actually go to. Just having that connection for an hour and a half last night was enough to keep me going for the rest of the week. I got to the Monday night meeting and then last night as well. The people that I know that I have been calli...

Otie · Otie

Just remember in the winter Far beneath the bitter snows Lies the seed that with the sun's love In the spring becomes the rose From the song, "THE ROSE" title track to 1979 film. starring Bette Midler. Based on life of Janis Joplin, who died from heroine overdose in 1971 at age of 27. S...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Its good to be here, thankyou. Thank you all for your support and E S and H over the last few days. I feel much better today. I have been speaking with my alanon friend and reading my literature and reading on here. I have realized today that staying calm is really the only way to deal with someone who is...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi all.. the other night I went to my parents after work to pick up my daugher, she wanted to stay for dinner, we went back to first feed and bring our dog over. When we returned, we all ate outside for the first time this year - all of us minus my mom. Me, my sister, my dad, my daugher and my niece had a nice dinne...

GratefulOne · GratefulOne

I was recently cheated on by the love of my life because of her addiction to alcohol and prescription drugs.. In the past I have always worked with her to get better but the actions were never as severe as this time. I have boundaries and this time my boundary was broken. I was prepared to never see this...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This is just a suggestion (and not advice ): I have a document file that I keep on my computer and everytime I read something on this board, or hear something at one of my Alanon meetings, that really inspires me or that I don't want to forget, I copy and paste, or add, the statement into my document. That wa...

sameoldstuff · sameoldstuff

I just found this site yesterday, i love it! my therapist has been telling me to go to alanon meetings for months, me being an adult child of a and having ah seemed to think i knew what was best and didn't need those meetings. Boy have i learned alot in just a couple of days of reading. Everyone is so supporti...

walkingthrubluebonnets · walkingthrubluebonnets

I didn't realize that updating a thread wouldn't bump it, so I'm starting a new thread to let you guys know what's transpired. Just for a refresher, the thread was about ED issues in the recovering alcoholic (specifically my H). Since I posted, my husband injured his back (for the second time) and had...

glad lee · glad lee

Taking Care of Ourselves It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self-defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel re...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

So I went to a f2f meeting today for the very first time. I cried almost the whole time but was still too scared to share in front of everyone. I hope that I will have more courage in the future. I just wish I knew what to say. I dont want to upset anyone or say the wrong thing if that makes any sense. Any advice?

Ashap · Ashap

This is a great site. It helps to know there are people who have experienced some of the same things I have. Thank you all for your encouraging words and stories. I know I have to make some choices. I'm not really sure where to start, but it helps to know there are people who understand. -- Edited by Ash...

Aloha · Aloha

I've been feeling a bit spiritually devoid lately. Every now and then, I find a rut that looks welcoming and comfortable - the path is well worn. It's familiar, I don't have to "work" to get to where I'm wanting to go. That's been my life for the past month or so, it seems. Same routine most days...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I wish Linbaba was in my AH's homegroup..... I wish Tom, RLC, hotrod, pinkchip, etc. you know? you ALL have such wisdom - I wish my H could get from you what I have gotten. Egads I wish he would hear all the pain of us enablers, wish he would have all the years of experience offered to him through people like L...

hopenfaith · hopenfaith

Today is day 4 since my husband has been off the alcohol. As I watch him load his little container with vitamin pills this morning, my heart broke for him. For the longest time, I blamed him for not quitting because I thought he had control of it and he just didnt' want to quit but for the first time, I saw him...

walkingthrubluebonnets · walkingthrubluebonnets

Hi Everyone, I'm new here. I've had alcoholics in my life, my whole life. My grandfather, my father, my exH. My current H is someone that I've been friends with for 17 years and my first and true love. He also is an alcoholic, although recovering. When he wanted to marry me a few years ago, I said no. I...

likemyheart · likemyheart

A little background: A few years ago my AH was diagnosed with a heart defect, Aortic Stenosis, Mild (as opposed to acute); ever since then, even though the battery of tests they did showed no heart blockages, no reasons for any worry, hes latched onto the diagnosis whenever it has suited him to do so to g...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I have been out of town for ten days and I have got to tell you guys it is good to be home. It is such a nice feeling to be "unplugged" away from the computer and being able to burn time without worrying about being late or needing to get to "there" and stressed because I have not left &q...

Aimee · Aimee

Ok, here's my dilemma. During my AH's relapse he had 2 one-night-stands with two seperate women. Both of these women are now involved in a casual relationship with my brother-in-law (Yes, I am painfully aware how twisted this is....) So last night was the first time, since I became aware of the infede...

mslouise · mslouise

Hello all - well, it's been about 1 year since I have heard from my ex-abf. (after five years of hell). I've forgave, but not forgotten which seems to be the problem. some days are good...today is a very good day. Some days are a struggle. I suffered from severe Anxiety and Panic attacks when with th...

youfoundme · youfoundme

There is an interesting thing going on when my bf drinks. I am not sure what it is, but it has only been happening the last 7 weeks that he drinks to a certain point. He suddenly gets really red in the face, anywhere that he ever had a scar turns deep red (even old bug bite spots), and he can't breathe well. ...

Megthompson · Megthompson

Hi all, Its been a while since I have been here.Tonight is hard for me.I had to tell my 2 drinking children that they are not welcome to stay in my house with my youngest 18 year old daughter who doesn't have a drinking problem, while I am out of town attending my brothers wedding for 9 days.It was really har...

sierramorningstar · sierramorningstar

My parntner is an alchoholic, who has quit drinking. He quit about a year ago on his own accord, but since then has relapsed several times. Everytime he gets really angry he wants to, and sometimes he breaks down and does. Even though he has quit he still displays a lot of alchoholic patterns. He is very d...

Soobie · Soobie

Need encouragement. Recently filed for divorce from AH. With 3 kids (who all have busy summer schedules) and a full time job, have not found time to attend a meeting. Closest meeting is 30 miles away. I have been feeling very alone and trying to hold it together for my kids, but every free moment I ha...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife has fallen into a deep hole of depression. She's been unable to get out of bed for most of the last 3 days. She's always struggled with depression and had a few depressive episodes like this in the past, however this is the first really major, debilitating one like this since we have known each oth...

hopenfaith · hopenfaith

Hello everyone, I found my husband sitting in his favorite chair in the garage again this past weekend with that same look in his eyes. "I'm sorry I am a failure to you", he said as he started sobbing. At that very moment, I knew he had been drinking. He had been drinking all day long here and the...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I found this forum a couple of weeks ago and have been "lurking" ever since. I am reposting this message that I had previously posted in response to canadianguy's post regarding "lurkers." I didn't realize that my user name could be found on search engines, so I am reposting thi...

canadianguy · canadianguy

This is a message to all the lurkers out there (and there are many of you) - who come here to read and learn, but have not yet posted your story or questions/concerns.... I wanted to say...... WELCOME! - and please feel free to stay as long as you want! This is a great site, with tons of awesome people on bo...

chinup · chinup

who in gods green earth wouldnt jump at the chance to go to england ive always wanted to go,plus my kids being there is another thing,something must be really wrong with me its gotta be mental......chinup.......odat

John · John

C'on people... Databases at Banks are hacked, Sony's database of xbox and PS3 purchasers was hacked... military and government databases are hacked... And yet, we expect we will throw our full names, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, place of employment.. blah, blah, blah, into cybers...

Revok · Revok

Never been too good at lurking, I prefer to jump right in. So here goes. My brother started drinking when he was 14, that was 20 years ago. My parents have both been sober and in AA for over 20 years, and my methods for dealing with my brother come from what they have tought me. They moved out of state a few...

chinup · chinup

my 1st time to ever fly so, my daughter in england calls me wit saying she is getting me a ticket round trip at a fdecent price,ill get on a plane in memphis and fly out to canada,then from canada onto england my daughter has never been to canada so doesnt know how it is,we r trying to find out how big the airpo...

MDK · MDK

Hello, I am new to MIP but I have been in Alanon for 3 years. I am married to a recovering alcoholic and he completed rehab 3 years ago and has not had a drop of alcohol since then, but he has smoked pot, stole my medication (adderall), and bought pills (benzos). I have found this to become stressful althoug...

spc75 · spc75

I have been in Al-Anon for about 2 years and have decided to divorce my AH. I spent a great deal of time making sure my motives were seeking a divorce were honest and not out of frustration, spite, or control. We are still living in the same house and I have been fairly ok with everything, but for the past 2 da...

chinup · chinup

says if my depression is that bad then maybe i should go check myself into the hospital,and she came online to ask me if i could make arrangements to come,that she was ver hurt over all this i told her i was even more hurt over it,then i thought about getting some antidepressants from my dr samples so i got m...

chinup · chinup

i woke up 3am crying ,id been obsessing over and over about it and would wake up scared,but,the real reason for my not going is my depression hasnt gotten worse along with anxiety im having problems getting my right meds and daughter sprung this on me all in one min.i typed her a really long letter of reas...

Otie · Otie

I admit that for the past few days I have been wandering into the AA message board of MIP. At first I felt a little odd (guilty, I guess) as if I was evesdropping on private conversations----but, apparently we are free to do so. I know that there are some members of this board who are dual members. I alwa...

onewildflower · onewildflower

I am so sick to my stomach. Yesterday was our 6 month mark for being married. We're still newly weds. I have noticed that my husband drinks alot when he drinks. He does not think that he does, the problem is though he hides how much he drinks. He will drink wine in front of me but then hide the vodka he dr...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

A little update.... The day I told the ex that I would not take a polygraph test, the rehab's social told him that he needed to go to the sober living house after his 28-day stay. In addition, his counselor had advised him that he needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist for his delusions. It was all too mu...

Jozie · Jozie

Well as Most know I have been Seriously struggling with Juggling everyday life here of late, and I was saying that i needed just a Small 'time out' to feel strong enough to go on... Well I ask, and I Recieved in Full This past week has been nothing short of stressful, But on the Up side of things, this past we...

Marisa · Marisa

My husband's uncle is an alcoholic. He has been in and out of rehab the past few years. He refuses to follow reccomendations and just last Friday left a treatment facility after doing 3 days of detox. He says he doesn't want to do treatment, doesn't need AA, can do it on his own, blah, blah, blah..... I'...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well, today was a pretty stressful day.. My A brother is getting worse and worse as time goes by. He is in pretty rough shape at age 50 and my mother who has breast cancer has been crippling him forever. She babies him to no end. It is absolutely sickening to watch. I have mentioned Alanon but for her she say...

oldergal · oldergal

"I had/have a big fear of losing my compassion thru detachment. I am beginning to understand, though, that my first concepts of detachment were erroneous. It seems that it doesn't make sense (completely) until you actually start practicing it." It does seem confusing Otie, I have be...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Step work (Preview) I'm very interested in continuing step work online here, when I click on the link it doesn't appear that anything really new or relavent has been posted upon for a long time? That was what I read at a glance and noticed I had to re-register. Is there a step work link that is relavent at this point?	Pushka	1	392	Jun 19, 2011 by tommyecat
	Lonely (Preview) I live in NYC with my AH of 14 months. He is seeking treatment via IOP and by attending meetings. He works sporadically and I pay most of the bills. I am a lawyer and very very busy - small office, not a lot of people to talk to. I've started going back to church and attend al anon twice a week but I still feel iso...	Mlkiss75	4	578	Jun 18, 2011 by Jerry F
	Shoulda listened to my gut...But.... (Preview) There is some nut harrassing me online. I caught him pretending to be someone else and told him to go away. Now he is on another site, my JW meeting site doing it. So unbeknowest to me...He wrote that message I got and used pictures from a guy I thought was cool a long time ago. It was another lie. Now I know wh...	Debilyn	2	602	Jun 18, 2011 by Otie
	I had a conversation with police tonite (Preview) I am just so upset right now...My daughter informed me that my grandaughter is not staying at my house as often anymore and she is hiring a 15 yr old to watch her. She said my gd apparently does not respect her (my d) enough when she leaves my house. She feels I`am a bad influence on her. Or that she respects m...	Samsgram	5	621	Jun 18, 2011 by redtara
	Is DISGUST the last stop? (Preview) I hope so because it's the only feeling I have left after rehabs, jails, psyche wards, kicking her out,3 years of sobriety out on her own, relapse, hospitals, anxiety, panic attacks, lose all she has, moving back home, AA, Relapse, AA, relapse, , kicking her back out, and now I'm back to square one deal...	Hermom	9	785	Jun 18, 2011 by Ness
	I hate this! (Preview) My stomach is all twisted, I feel like crying. Over what? There is someone interested in me. He is my religion, sounds so much like me. He contacted me. For years I have prayed for this. Then when there is a chance,I freeze up. Feel unworthy. I don't know why I care, I don't usually, but I think, well what if...	Debilyn	16	1146	Jun 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	Finding a sponsor (Preview) So this has been a hard thing for me, I know that in order to really be successful I need a sponsor. To hold me to attending meetings, hold me accountable for working the steps, and having someone that I can call when the A's in my life push me hard and I let them get the best of me. Maybe it's just easier for som...	Kristi136188	5	2076	Jun 18, 2011 by flopadopilus
	would an A lie about dying of cancer? (Preview) i'm in a sticky situation involving my ex-A. not that i want to be involved with him, but i'm 12 weeks pregnant, conceived just a week before he left us without warning. i had to tell him via email, he'd cut off all contact. now i'm regretting telling him, since i expect nothing from him ... but, isn't it th...	purpleraven	7	811	Jun 18, 2011 by purpleraven
	Newbie (Preview) I am new to this webpage. I found out a year ago that my husband had a problem with alcohol. I also found out that he had lied to me about many other things besides the alcohol. When we first met he was still in a relationship with his wife, although he told me they were still married, but seperated and only li...	Kristi136188	5	436	Jun 17, 2011 by Jerry F
	First post here (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been reading the board for about a month, and feel like it's time for me to join in on the conversations. I first want to say that I appreciate that this board and it's members are here any time day or night that I need some ESH. It's really been a great resource for me, and that's why I want t...	lifewontwait	12	659	Jun 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Request for help... (Preview) Hello everyone, As many of us already know, the economy is taking a toll on so many people, so hard that life as we once knew it has changed. So it is with me. As I write this post I am struggling to just keep my head above water, but the water is rising very fast. And I am reaching out for help. At one time, th...	John	22	3097	Jun 17, 2011 by hopeful411
	wanting the start to a new beginning (Preview) my ab and i have been off and on for many years we have a young child. I am currently in counseling and we are working on making our family work....well so i thought. 1 week he wants the help and admits the problems. Another week its hed rather be an alcoholic then have me nagging him. I'm stronlgy encou...	hopeful411	6	418	Jun 17, 2011 by hopeful411
	dealing with anger (Preview) This morning I began to reflect on a passage I read in my how al-anon works book. In summary it read that the family holding the A out of the water to keep her head from getting wet only supports the disease further to enable her destructive behavior. This made me very angry at her family. They have been doi...	jamfu	6	1057	Jun 17, 2011 by jamfu
	me and daughter r speaking agin ,whew (Preview) gues id thought she was gonna really abandone me completely,but she called me this am and was such a sweet conversation and i got to tell her what was really going on with me ,,,,female problems,im 48 y/0,hormones r really playing games with me lol,but any ways thought id give yall the update hm i typed t...	chinup	1	335	Jun 17, 2011 by Debilyn
	now for sure ex a b/f,lied in court and won. (Preview) took my whole day in court with him back in forth i had to hunt down my witness ,all for nothing the law had the dates mixed up when he actually sliced my brand new tires it had been a yr ago and i couldnt remember took them that long to catch up with him on some other charges that his boss bailed him out of,but b...	chinup	4	557	Jun 17, 2011 by chinup
	Self Doubt.... (Preview) My AS was lashing out last night when he can't get what he wants from me, telling me that I didn't raise him right and that is why his life is in the tank now. I know that he was loved, cared for, we were not perfect (he was our first child), we were young and viewed life in a very simple way. I know how they talk...	DreamsOver	7	641	Jun 17, 2011 by Loupiness
	When will I ever learn?!?!?!? (reposted from ACoA board) (Preview) The last several days, the internal pressure's been building up again. I was aware of it, but thought I was controlling it pretty well and everything was fine. Then yesterday, I made a comment to a co-worker which apparently was far nastier than I realized. Not the comment itself (although I shouldn...	Red Hawk	5	644	Jun 16, 2011 by Red Hawk
	My partner has started to drink again (Preview) I'm new here. I dont know who else to talk to. My partner has started to drink again after 10 weeks of being dry. I'm so so upset as I dont want it to go back to how it was. In the past 10 weeks, I had my best friend back, I fell back in love and had butterflies. I couldnt wait for him to wake up in the morning so I coul...	alexious79	7	3042	Jun 16, 2011 by hopeful411
	Got my meeting fix last night and sponsor question (Preview) I cannot say enough how wonderful it is to have meetings to get to and actually go to. Just having that connection for an hour and a half last night was enough to keep me going for the rest of the week. I got to the Monday night meeting and then last night as well. The people that I know that I have been calli...	youfoundme	5	428	Jun 16, 2011 by youfoundme
	HOPE (Preview) Just remember in the winter Far beneath the bitter snows Lies the seed that with the sun's love In the spring becomes the rose From the song, "THE ROSE" title track to 1979 film. starring Bette Midler. Based on life of Janis Joplin, who died from heroine overdose in 1971 at age of 27. S...	Otie	9	502	Jun 16, 2011 by likemyheart
	better today (Preview) Its good to be here, thankyou. Thank you all for your support and E S and H over the last few days. I feel much better today. I have been speaking with my alanon friend and reading my literature and reading on here. I have realized today that staying calm is really the only way to deal with someone who is...	youfoundme	12	580	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	I did not engage, finally! (Preview) Hi all.. the other night I went to my parents after work to pick up my daugher, she wanted to stay for dinner, we went back to first feed and bring our dog over. When we returned, we all ate outside for the first time this year - all of us minus my mom. Me, my sister, my dad, my daugher and my niece had a nice dinne...	danielle0516	6	550	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Why Im here.. (1st post) (Preview) I was recently cheated on by the love of my life because of her addiction to alcohol and prescription drugs.. In the past I have always worked with her to get better but the actions were never as severe as this time. I have boundaries and this time my boundary was broken. I was prepared to never see this...	GratefulOne	9	657	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	A Suggestion for Those of Us Who are Recovering (Preview) This is just a suggestion (and not advice ): I have a document file that I keep on my computer and everytime I read something on this board, or hear something at one of my Alanon meetings, that really inspires me or that I don't want to forget, I copy and paste, or add, the statement into my document. That wa...	Green Eyes	9	544	Jun 16, 2011 by maryjane
	newcomer and so confused (Preview) I just found this site yesterday, i love it! my therapist has been telling me to go to alanon meetings for months, me being an adult child of a and having ah seemed to think i knew what was best and didn't need those meetings. Boy have i learned alot in just a couple of days of reading. Everyone is so supporti...	sameoldstuff	8	533	Jun 16, 2011 by Corgi2
	Update to "Dealing with Recovery" (Preview) I didn't realize that updating a thread wouldn't bump it, so I'm starting a new thread to let you guys know what's transpired. Just for a refresher, the thread was about ED issues in the recovering alcoholic (specifically my H). Since I posted, my husband injured his back (for the second time) and had...	walkingthrubluebonnets	3	633	Jun 16, 2011 by youfoundme
	Taking Care of Ourselves (Preview) Taking Care of Ourselves It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self-defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel re...	glad lee	1	480	Jun 16, 2011 by kitty
	what to say (Preview) So I went to a f2f meeting today for the very first time. I cried almost the whole time but was still too scared to share in front of everyone. I hope that I will have more courage in the future. I just wish I knew what to say. I dont want to upset anyone or say the wrong thing if that makes any sense. Any advice?	Betterfuture	10	635	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Unsure (Preview) This is a great site. It helps to know there are people who have experienced some of the same things I have. Thank you all for your encouraging words and stories. I know I have to make some choices. I'm not really sure where to start, but it helps to know there are people who understand. -- Edited by Ash...	Ashap	4	918	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Changing things up = good for my recovery. (Preview) I've been feeling a bit spiritually devoid lately. Every now and then, I find a rut that looks welcoming and comfortable - the path is well worn. It's familiar, I don't have to "work" to get to where I'm wanting to go. That's been my life for the past month or so, it seems. Same routine most days...	Aloha	4	405	Jun 16, 2011 by Jerry F
	Sometimes I wish....... (Preview) I wish Linbaba was in my AH's homegroup..... I wish Tom, RLC, hotrod, pinkchip, etc. you know? you ALL have such wisdom - I wish my H could get from you what I have gotten. Egads I wish he would hear all the pain of us enablers, wish he would have all the years of experience offered to him through people like L...	likemyheart	6	645	Jun 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Day 4-starting to feel more at peace (Preview) Today is day 4 since my husband has been off the alcohol. As I watch him load his little container with vitamin pills this morning, my heart broke for him. For the longest time, I blamed him for not quitting because I thought he had control of it and he just didnt' want to quit but for the first time, I saw him...	hopenfaith	5	511	Jun 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Dealing with Recovery (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm new here. I've had alcoholics in my life, my whole life. My grandfather, my father, my exH. My current H is someone that I've been friends with for 17 years and my first and true love. He also is an alcoholic, although recovering. When he wanted to marry me a few years ago, I said no. I...	walkingthrubluebonnets	19	1049	Jun 15, 2011 by walkingthrubluebonnets
	Am I Too detached? I don't know how I feel. (Preview) A little background: A few years ago my AH was diagnosed with a heart defect, Aortic Stenosis, Mild (as opposed to acute); ever since then, even though the battery of tests they did showed no heart blockages, no reasons for any worry, hes latched onto the diagnosis whenever it has suited him to do so to g...	likemyheart	12	802	Jun 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Good to be home (Preview) I have been out of town for ten days and I have got to tell you guys it is good to be home. It is such a nice feeling to be "unplugged" away from the computer and being able to burn time without worrying about being late or needing to get to "there" and stressed because I have not left &q...	tommyecat	6	438	Jun 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Hide or face it head on? (Preview) Ok, here's my dilemma. During my AH's relapse he had 2 one-night-stands with two seperate women. Both of these women are now involved in a casual relationship with my brother-in-law (Yes, I am painfully aware how twisted this is....) So last night was the first time, since I became aware of the infede...	Aimee	5	516	Jun 15, 2011 by clep
	Struggles with Anxiety....but it is a good day : ) (Preview) Hello all - well, it's been about 1 year since I have heard from my ex-abf. (after five years of hell). I've forgave, but not forgotten which seems to be the problem. some days are good...today is a very good day. Some days are a struggle. I suffered from severe Anxiety and Panic attacks when with th...	mslouise	5	430	Jun 15, 2011 by mslouise
	Hello all, questions and share (Preview) There is an interesting thing going on when my bf drinks. I am not sure what it is, but it has only been happening the last 7 weeks that he drinks to a certain point. He suddenly gets really red in the face, anywhere that he ever had a scar turns deep red (even old bug bite spots), and he can't breathe well. ...	youfoundme	8	658	Jun 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	parent setting boundaries and feeling the pain (Preview) Hi all, Its been a while since I have been here.Tonight is hard for me.I had to tell my 2 drinking children that they are not welcome to stay in my house with my youngest 18 year old daughter who doesn't have a drinking problem, while I am out of town attending my brothers wedding for 9 days.It was really har...	Megthompson	4	510	Jun 15, 2011 by Jerry F
	21, Pregnant, and feeling very alone and frusturated (Preview) My parntner is an alchoholic, who has quit drinking. He quit about a year ago on his own accord, but since then has relapsed several times. Everytime he gets really angry he wants to, and sometimes he breaks down and does. Even though he has quit he still displays a lot of alchoholic patterns. He is very d...	sierramorningstar	7	427	Jun 14, 2011 by sierramorningstar
	Wallowing (Preview) Need encouragement. Recently filed for divorce from AH. With 3 kids (who all have busy summer schedules) and a full time job, have not found time to attend a meeting. Closest meeting is 30 miles away. I have been feeling very alone and trying to hold it together for my kids, but every free moment I ha...	Soobie	7	521	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	Depression (Preview) My wife has fallen into a deep hole of depression. She's been unable to get out of bed for most of the last 3 days. She's always struggled with depression and had a few depressive episodes like this in the past, however this is the first really major, debilitating one like this since we have known each oth...	usedtobeanyer	8	1141	Jun 14, 2011 by surfingmaestro
	Is this really happening to me? (Preview) Hello everyone, I found my husband sitting in his favorite chair in the garage again this past weekend with that same look in his eyes. "I'm sorry I am a failure to you", he said as he started sobbing. At that very moment, I knew he had been drinking. He had been drinking all day long here and the...	hopenfaith	15	697	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	No Longer Just Lurking- Here's my Story (Preview) I found this forum a couple of weeks ago and have been "lurking" ever since. I am reposting this message that I had previously posted in response to canadianguy's post regarding "lurkers." I didn't realize that my user name could be found on search engines, so I am reposting thi...	Green Eyes	8	550	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	To all the lurkers out there.... (Preview) This is a message to all the lurkers out there (and there are many of you) - who come here to read and learn, but have not yet posted your story or questions/concerns.... I wanted to say...... WELCOME! - and please feel free to stay as long as you want! This is a great site, with tons of awesome people on bo...	canadianguy	10	738	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	i must be losing it for sure (Preview) who in gods green earth wouldnt jump at the chance to go to england ive always wanted to go,plus my kids being there is another thing,something must be really wrong with me its gotta be mental......chinup.......odat	chinup	6	596	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	Internet Anonymity???? (Preview) C'on people... Databases at Banks are hacked, Sony's database of xbox and PS3 purchasers was hacked... military and government databases are hacked... And yet, we expect we will throw our full names, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, place of employment.. blah, blah, blah, into cybers...	John	4	760	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	About my brother (new here) (Preview) Never been too good at lurking, I prefer to jump right in. So here goes. My brother started drinking when he was 14, that was 20 years ago. My parents have both been sober and in AA for over 20 years, and my methods for dealing with my brother come from what they have tought me. They moved out of state a few...	Revok	6	433	Jun 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	anybody everflown air canada experience (Preview) my 1st time to ever fly so, my daughter in england calls me wit saying she is getting me a ticket round trip at a fdecent price,ill get on a plane in memphis and fly out to canada,then from canada onto england my daughter has never been to canada so doesnt know how it is,we r trying to find out how big the airpo...	chinup	6	383	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	Newcomer (Preview) Hello, I am new to MIP but I have been in Alanon for 3 years. I am married to a recovering alcoholic and he completed rehab 3 years ago and has not had a drop of alcohol since then, but he has smoked pot, stole my medication (adderall), and bought pills (benzos). I have found this to become stressful althoug...	MDK	9	572	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	Dealing with Guilt (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon for about 2 years and have decided to divorce my AH. I spent a great deal of time making sure my motives were seeking a divorce were honest and not out of frustration, spite, or control. We are still living in the same house and I have been fairly ok with everything, but for the past 2 da...	spc75	12	1591	Jun 14, 2011 by nat2000
	daughter giving me a hard time (Preview) says if my depression is that bad then maybe i should go check myself into the hospital,and she came online to ask me if i could make arrangements to come,that she was ver hurt over all this i told her i was even more hurt over it,then i thought about getting some antidepressants from my dr samples so i got m...	chinup	3	598	Jun 14, 2011 by chinup
	update ,of why i didnt go to england (Preview) i woke up 3am crying ,id been obsessing over and over about it and would wake up scared,but,the real reason for my not going is my depression hasnt gotten worse along with anxiety im having problems getting my right meds and daughter sprung this on me all in one min.i typed her a really long letter of reas...	chinup	4	528	Jun 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	Otie's Confession (Preview) I admit that for the past few days I have been wandering into the AA message board of MIP. At first I felt a little odd (guilty, I guess) as if I was evesdropping on private conversations----but, apparently we are free to do so. I know that there are some members of this board who are dual members. I alwa...	Otie	9	660	Jun 13, 2011 by pinkchip
	My husband is an alcoholic in denial husband hiding drinking (Preview) I am so sick to my stomach. Yesterday was our 6 month mark for being married. We're still newly weds. I have noticed that my husband drinks alot when he drinks. He does not think that he does, the problem is though he hides how much he drinks. He will drink wine in front of me but then hide the vodka he dr...	onewildflower	5	2995	Jun 13, 2011 by pinkchip
	He Seems to be "Getting It" This Time (Preview) A little update.... The day I told the ex that I would not take a polygraph test, the rehab's social told him that he needed to go to the sober living house after his 28-day stay. In addition, his counselor had advised him that he needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist for his delusions. It was all too mu...	GailMichelle	8	441	Jun 13, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Attemping to Moving Forward... (Preview) Well as Most know I have been Seriously struggling with Juggling everyday life here of late, and I was saying that i needed just a Small 'time out' to feel strong enough to go on... Well I ask, and I Recieved in Full This past week has been nothing short of stressful, But on the Up side of things, this past we...	Jozie	3	539	Jun 13, 2011 by hotrod
	How to set boundaries when family isn't on board (Preview) My husband's uncle is an alcoholic. He has been in and out of rehab the past few years. He refuses to follow reccomendations and just last Friday left a treatment facility after doing 3 days of detox. He says he doesn't want to do treatment, doesn't need AA, can do it on his own, blah, blah, blah..... I'...	Marisa	3	1028	Jun 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	Trying to Keep my head on straight.. (Preview) Well, today was a pretty stressful day.. My A brother is getting worse and worse as time goes by. He is in pretty rough shape at age 50 and my mother who has breast cancer has been crippling him forever. She babies him to no end. It is absolutely sickening to watch. I have mentioned Alanon but for her she say...	Samsgram	2	664	Jun 13, 2011 by kitty
	On Part of Otie's Post/Detachment (Preview) "I had/have a big fear of losing my compassion thru detachment. I am beginning to understand, though, that my first concepts of detachment were erroneous. It seems that it doesn't make sense (completely) until you actually start practicing it." It does seem confusing Otie, I have be...	oldergal	3	396	Jun 13, 2011 by kitty
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.