Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all.... we were all rocked a couple of months ago with the sudden passing of our friend Rodney (RLC), and continue to miss him so much. Betty and I wanted to add another moderator to the mix early in the New Year, and the time now seems right.... Really pleased to announce that we have a new Board Modera...

Pushka · Pushka

This is probably one of my biggest character defects that I am staring in the face at the moment. Literally in my top 3 of keeps me from living life. Thankfully today is a good day for me on that level I did a lot of things to get misc stuff dealt with. It's not a minor issue as in let's put this off for a day th...

glad lee · glad lee

I thought I'd ask everyone what they do for FUN? (Remember that?!) Early in my recovery, my sponsor told me to stop my obsessive thinking... stop doing that squirrel cage thing-y, round and round in my head.... and do something "fun" instead. At the time, I was so clueless, growing up an...

MelB · MelB

I woke up today. So that's a start. I can't express my feelings of longing and desire. I can't express them because sometimes I don't think they matter. Is it normal for the alcoholic to shut down. To be unable to give what I need. Maybe it's not what I need. Maybe it's only what I want. I have been so sad rece...

stefani74 · stefani74

I have been lurking around and I have finally decided that YES maybe I do need Al-Anon more that I wanted to admit. I have an ABF who is really struggling right now and I am finding it hard to cope. He gets to wanting a drink really bad and he just shuts himself out from the rest of the world. He feels like I am...

MidwesternMom · MidwesternMom

I posted last week that I asked my husband to leave our house for awhile. This weekend we had a long talk. I agreed to let him come back home if he would go to rehab. We did a lot of research online over the weekend and drove past a few of the local centers. He promised to make calls about his insurance cove...

1 day at a time · 1 day at a time

im in a rut and want to get out.co-dependancy.my husband is now 9 months sober by the grace of god.my kids are now teens and dont need me as much.and my grandparents whom i spent many years looking after passed away this year.my kids are busy having there own lives my husband has his meeting(which i am hap...

LostToday · LostToday

Reading this was extremely helpful for me. This explains all my AH's bad behaviors.... http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

earlier this week I posted for the first time about my (musician) AH; he just got back to town, has a gig in the city where we live (he'd been gone a week) and slipped in that there's a good chance the guys would hang out after the gig (they're done playing by 12:30am). I think he is paving the way to stay out a...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

My best friend died, leaving behind her husband and seven year old. This is so devastating, and is making me realize again how powerless we are over others. There is nothing anyone could have done to make her stay. We can't control other people at all. I just feel life is so unpredictable and not turning...

rehprof · rehprof

after crying most of the weekend...I got a text during a meeting yesterday from AH. "I want to end this" -- I tried to talk to him over the weekend (big mistake) -- and all he kept saying was that he had to protect himself -- and that is why his lawyer demanded more than half my income in alimony. H...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hey there, Hubby has been down on work lately. Not much on for him. I have been thinking.. well that means the smoking increases. I accepted that for what it is. I was wrong. I am not 100% sure cos I haven't really been checking up that much but since we got back from holidays I think he has maybe smoked t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Real quick: I have been struggling w/ muscle pain & aches for over a week now. I am hoping that it is a minor condition. Other than that, I am doing very well these days. I am just grateful for the life I live & the opportunities I have to grow! Kathleen

stephaniej · stephaniej

So this morning my AH really, really fought getting out of bed to be with our son so I could get to work (he did this last week, too, every single day--so I would wait and wait and wait, and finally just take the boy to day care myself). I was pleasant but firm about my need to leave, saying that he had promise...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Some people watch TV; I watch youtube videos. I ran across a youtuve video this evening that I think takes the woo-woo out of meditation. So many think it's where you wrap yourself in a loin cloth and lie on a bed of nails Okay, I'm stretching the truth. But you get my drift. This young woman seems to be a...

apesgirl · apesgirl

I did it!! Tonight I went to my first meeting. I was so scared walking in, but I want to heal so bad that I took a deep breath and walked in

(YAY me!) I have never felt so welcomed, so much love and understanding from complete strangers... Today my Q told me she might go stay with her mom for a while until she...

cider · cider

My husband of 5 years (we're both 37) suffered from depression for donkeys years. His mother emotioanlly abused him and she was an alcoholic. He has been drinking for past 3 years (in the evenings and daytime at weekends), normally cider, but it clashes with his depression tablets and he acts weird af...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

but feel like i have been doing 20 yrs before major life change! I am seriously considering leaving my marriage of 20 yrs. Binge drinker AH; we have 3 kids and it's tough for me to decide to make this change. He is a musician and is constantly around booze--that definitely ups the ante! I am trying to l...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I'm sick with cold symptoms, didn't go to church. A few minutes ago my 26y.o. grandson called and asked me if I could pick him up from the hospital, said he had gone there this morning by ambulance. I told him I was to sick and to call his mother, she is A/A and they don't get alone. I called her after it kep...

parfait624 · parfait624

I haven't been on here in a while. I've been taking time to myself. Detaching from my exABF and trying to live my life in a positive and constructive way. I haven't had a conversation with him in six months and that was also the last time I seen him in person. Our last break up was not a good one. He told m...

km93 · km93

I'm worried my mom has a drinking problem. Every late afternoon/early evening she starts drinking, and usually has about 3 glasses of wine. If you don't say anything to her she's ok, but if you say even the smallest thing to contradict her it sets her off. She starts shouting and being sarcastic and cyn...

glad · glad

God has a plan, it hurts my head with I try to figure it out, he wants me just to trust him... MY mind gets all this 100% ,, MY feelings are a different matter, tears still come sometimes when I don't want them to,, I wish it would stop, it's been a year and a half since he moved out and 9 mths since we stopped eve...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

So I did my step 4-7 a while back and was ready to start moving on but then these character defects come popping up like stubborn weeds. This woman at work has been talking about how much she dislikes me and this really urks me.. I feel like we are in highschool and she is at least twenty years older than me....

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

This website that I share with you today is not Al-Anon. I ran across this website during my initial separation with my now ex-husband (we are now reunited after divorcing). I recall sitting in my sparsely furnishes apartment, early in the morning with my favorite cup of tea, kicking back and viewi...

apesgirl · apesgirl

For the past two days I have been feeling so alone. I finally sat down with my partner what was going on with us. She told me that she has to focus on herself right now, she said she needs to be selfish about her recovery... I have given her nothing but my support and understanding, helping her find meeting p...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Wondering if anyone has ever taken anti-anxiety pills .. It's been several years in my program and I have gotten alot and I still Feel the way I do ..., etc.. The obssessions are still here and sometimes .. I can't shut them off; it's balance in that it's not Just a matter of choice. If I couldn't do it mysel...

vicky7214 · vicky7214

My 17 year old son justed entered rehab for the 3rd time. As you know each time things are worse than the last. I need someone to talk to who I can relate. I have scanned through the topics on this site. Most topics are on A and are with the spouses. Can anybody help

rehprof · rehprof

I'm still reeling from mediation yesterday. Here I am taking care of EVERYTHING...paying ALL the bills...doing all the repairs on the house, working 60 hours a week....and barely making it on my salary (I owe my parents 7k for loans for a new refrig and my divorce lawyer) Meanwhile, my AH has been unem...

stephaniej · stephaniej

On Sunday, after my husband's horrible outburst of Saturday night, he was clearly in a shame spiral. He apologized repeatedly for his behavior (I told him I appreciated his apology, and made it clear I didn't want to keep discussing it over and over again). At one point he asked me "do you still...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I come here and read daily and not always able to post, but it helps keep my mind straight and I meet with my sponsor one night a week. I have 2 weekly meetings, but lately I have worked those days without going. Now my internet provider went bankrupt it is really sad and no one else is up and running out by me y...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My 2 adult A/A children both live nearby, as a matter of fact they live together. I'm a retired 71 y.o. woman who live alone and love it. My 16 y.o. grandson just recently moved back home with his mother. My son is on ssi due to a disability, (progressively crippling) he is far from that now. He uses al...

johnmarcia · johnmarcia

Our 17 year old son is a HS junior and will be 18 in May. This year he changed. He smokes pot. Keep sodd hours. Does not clean his room, do his chores, never gets himself up and most upsetting he is very disrespectful to my wife and me. He seems very anxious about college process but doesn't so too much to i...

MelB · MelB

Sometimes, at night, I cry myself to sleep. It used to be because I was worried I couldn't go through another relapse or deal with another lie etc. Now I cry because he's doing better and I'm still sick. That we can't be a "healthy" couple because of me. I didn't even realize I was sick...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

It's way past my usual bedtime. I'm all wired up from staying up to bake! So here I am on the Net. I ran across a website about what to never regret and it got me thinking about what I never regret. I never regret - - reading to my sons when they were young. I have such good memories of back then. I never reg...

atheos · atheos

Already told my sponsor the "positive traits" part of my step 4... tomorrow's time for the scary part! My list of things to tell my sponsor is ready... 15 things to discuss in all... one character defect I am terrified of discussing, followed by 13 that aren't that hard to admit to, and then o...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

My HP is guiding me to proceed with my passions in life. I used to think what's the point? I used to think if no one read my poetry or saw my photographs or bought my paintings then what was the point? I feel so entirely different now. I am creating for me and for me, alone. A friend once told me "you sh...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So I have shared I have an Intern. I have shared I stopped growing when I began obssessing on the addicts and alcoholics in my life and that for me that was around 5. Seeing how I stayed stuck in feeling 5. My siblings moved out (My parenting came from them) I was alone. For years I thought I was abandoned and...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family I have posted the 5 th Step to the Step Work Board one day early Please join us there: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/. It is a powerful experience to read and share your ESH. The Steps are the road to recovery. I heard a quote once (cannot remember the source) it goes like this...

rehprof · rehprof

Divorce is a long process in my state...and this week, on Friday I have mandatory mediation. AH will get (by law) 1/2 my retirement...which he intends to live on since he has not worked in 2 years (he lives with his sister since I told him to leave a year ago november). He tells me he is entitled to alimony (...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

How are you at setting boundaries and how well do you communicate them? I went to dinner with a friend last night and she said the first thing I need to do is forgive. Well, yea, that would probably be helpful, LOL. But, we really spent a lot of time talking about forgiveness and how hard it is for 2 broke...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Winter is finally here! I am frustrated by the fact that it has almost been a week since I have been on here. I am suffering from too much snow & unable to get out much. I haven't been to a decent meeting in a week either. Does anyone out there feel like I do? I was worried that I was going to end up like a bear...

Hope4Peace · Hope4Peace

My AH has been sober nearly one year after drinking since his teenage years. He's had clinical depression for nearly as long, though he was officially diagnosed well into our marriage. He drank despite warnings from his therapist. He stopped seeing the therapist. I admit to years of enabling both th...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Since separating from my AH of 29 years, over nine months ago, I have come to realize how I now live my life in the here and now. I went to a concert last night with some friends and I had forgotten now much I enjoy listening to live music. Instead of being preoccupied with thoughts about my AH and his issues,...

rehprof · rehprof

In divorce mediation today My AH and his lawyer not only demanded 1/2 my retirement, but he wants $587 a week in spousal support, and wants me to pay for health insurance for him. My take home is $3500/month...my mortgage and insurance are 1400 -- so with me paying that level of spousal support that leav...

likemyheart · likemyheart

And lots of it. Last night word was out, school was closed today, yippee for the kids and what a snow it was - 8-24 inches depending on where you were and how good your yardstick measured. Spent the day shoveling one place and another, laughing with people as they passed, chatting about how much snow and w...

Pushka · Pushka

LoveWarrior · LoveWarrior

My partner is a 24 year recovering alcoholic. I respect him for his accomplishments and resolve. We've been together for 14 years and have had some rough spots along the way in regards to my consumption of alcohol. It just happened again and I am sick and tired of being berated. Let me explain: When we fi...

db55 · db55

I just got in touch with a friend who I really hadn't been in contact with in about 5-8 years. I became friends with her 30 years ago and was called an aunt to her children who I knew since their births. I lost touch mainly because of her and her husband's drinking at the encouragement of my husband to just...

apesgirl · apesgirl

This is my first time on here. My partner just got out of detox for benzos. She has been going to meetings every night. I'm so very proud of her, and want to help more than anything. She goes to an out patient program so I'm not allowed to go. I have looked in my area for nar-anon meetings but I can't find any. I...

never going back · never going back

A friend sent me this quote a few days ago: "What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?" I've been doing a lot of 'thanking' ever since I read it. Kind of put things in perspective for me, so I thought I'd share. Have a wonderful day, thankful day! Deni...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Hello friends! Just wanted to tell everyone hi. I've been staying busy personally and professionally and not making adequate time for recovery efforts. I'm not struggling, but need to get back with my program while things are good as opposed to waiting for the next crisis! As my sponsor says, &q...

glad · glad

I wrote a long rambling post about my feelings.. then read some of what others are going through.. and decided I have it pretty good, and maybe I need to pray for those who are really struggling today,,, thanks to ALL of us who share no matter how large or small,, you never know how what you say may help some...

MelB · MelB

It's been about a week since I've been on here. I shouldn't have stopped for even those 7 days. I have been having a tough time. I can't figure out how to love myself. I feel so 'xxxx' about myself all the time. I am working towards the future but I feel so lost still. I know that my patterns of thoughts and be...

Autumn0729 · Autumn0729

I am finding that I am really struggling with guilt that I am doing alright. My now ex-boyfriend is 30 days clean, through a live-in rehab program. I spent 5 years with him, taking care of him financiallyand in every other way, completely burning myself out in the process. He was always loving and c...

MidwesternMom · MidwesternMom

I found a meeting that I could attend tonight. It has childcare, so I can bring the kids. I'm really scared about going though. I don't know why. Will everybody there already know eachother? Will I have to tell my whole story? The website says there are special meetings for newcomers. I can't get to...

stephaniej · stephaniej

It's been a rough stretch for me, as my AH's emotional abuse has escalated dramatically over the last two months. But tonight I'm feeling grateful and reflective about many things, and I feel so optimistic about my ability to be healthy, emotionally AND physically. I found this website about a yea...

MidwesternMom · MidwesternMom

I told my AH to leave the house on Sunday. I was so angry because I went to church, only to find that I had no money for the collection basket. He stole all the money from my purse. He was high when I got home. I have 2 little kids and I run a home daycare. I cannot have drugs in my house. I could lose my busin...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

This is something that has been on my mind for weeks. I can keep my side of the street clean. Most things I can hand up to HP, I work to leave them there. My AH and I have a daughter who just turned 3. She lives with her mom during the week and we have her almost every weekend, if not for a full weekend then at leas...

KLotus · KLotus

Again, thank you all for your incredible ESH (and for your research). It is serving me well, and helping me to feel stronger. I met with a divorce lawyer yesterday - to ask questions. She was VERY concerned about my safety. I was a bit embarrassed when asked "is there any domestic violence?&q...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Good morning fellow shippers ? I'm starting an Intern this morning and am nervous. Of course my confidence isn't all that because I put it off for a year and am just now returning. It wasn't waisted time, however, I am feeling the effects of my procrastination in that I've forgotten many things through...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	New Board Moderator (Preview) Hi all.... we were all rocked a couple of months ago with the sudden passing of our friend Rodney (RLC), and continue to miss him so much. Betty and I wanted to add another moderator to the mix early in the New Year, and the time now seems right.... Really pleased to announce that we have a new Board Modera...	canadianguy	13	609	Jan 26, 2012 by Christy
	Procrastination (Preview) This is probably one of my biggest character defects that I am staring in the face at the moment. Literally in my top 3 of keeps me from living life. Thankfully today is a good day for me on that level I did a lot of things to get misc stuff dealt with. It's not a minor issue as in let's put this off for a day th...	Pushka	15	1856	Jan 26, 2012 by hotrod
	What do you do for FUN? (Preview) I thought I'd ask everyone what they do for FUN? (Remember that?!) Early in my recovery, my sponsor told me to stop my obsessive thinking... stop doing that squirrel cage thing-y, round and round in my head.... and do something "fun" instead. At the time, I was so clueless, growing up an...	glad lee	15	1027	Jan 26, 2012 by Green Eyes
	Why do I want so much? (Preview) I woke up today. So that's a start. I can't express my feelings of longing and desire. I can't express them because sometimes I don't think they matter. Is it normal for the alcoholic to shut down. To be unable to give what I need. Maybe it's not what I need. Maybe it's only what I want. I have been so sad rece...	MelB	9	686	Jan 25, 2012 by amills4294
	New and confused! (Preview) I have been lurking around and I have finally decided that YES maybe I do need Al-Anon more that I wanted to admit. I have an ABF who is really struggling right now and I am finding it hard to cope. He gets to wanting a drink really bad and he just shuts himself out from the rest of the world. He feels like I am...	stefani74	8	639	Jan 25, 2012 by stefani74
	He (Reluctantly) Agreed To Rehab (Preview) I posted last week that I asked my husband to leave our house for awhile. This weekend we had a long talk. I agreed to let him come back home if he would go to rehab. We did a lot of research online over the weekend and drove past a few of the local centers. He promised to make calls about his insurance cove...	MidwesternMom	11	589	Jan 25, 2012 by pinkchip
	lost (Preview) im in a rut and want to get out.co-dependancy.my husband is now 9 months sober by the grace of god.my kids are now teens and dont need me as much.and my grandparents whom i spent many years looking after passed away this year.my kids are busy having there own lives my husband has his meeting(which i am hap...	1 day at a time	5	484	Jan 25, 2012 by 1 day at a time
	Good Info About Bad Behavior (Preview) Reading this was extremely helpful for me. This explains all my AH's bad behaviors.... http://www.youarenotcrazy.com/	LostToday	1	426	Jan 25, 2012 by Tracey C
	fair warning... (Preview) earlier this week I posted for the first time about my (musician) AH; he just got back to town, has a gig in the city where we live (he'd been gone a week) and slipped in that there's a good chance the guys would hang out after the gig (they're done playing by 12:30am). I think he is paving the way to stay out a...	yanksfan51	4	486	Jan 25, 2012 by yanksfan51
	Death of a friend (Preview) My best friend died, leaving behind her husband and seven year old. This is so devastating, and is making me realize again how powerless we are over others. There is nothing anyone could have done to make her stay. We can't control other people at all. I just feel life is so unpredictable and not turning...	GreenerGrass	12	605	Jan 24, 2012 by grammie
	update (Preview) after crying most of the weekend...I got a text during a meeting yesterday from AH. "I want to end this" -- I tried to talk to him over the weekend (big mistake) -- and all he kept saying was that he had to protect himself -- and that is why his lawyer demanded more than half my income in alimony. H...	rehprof	4	481	Jan 24, 2012 by stephaniej
	where was my reaction? (Preview) Hey there, Hubby has been down on work lately. Not much on for him. I have been thinking.. well that means the smoking increases. I accepted that for what it is. I was wrong. I am not 100% sure cos I haven't really been checking up that much but since we got back from holidays I think he has maybe smoked t...	Lindaoakford	2	430	Jan 24, 2012 by LostToday
	Pain & more pain! (Preview) Real quick: I have been struggling w/ muscle pain & aches for over a week now. I am hoping that it is a minor condition. Other than that, I am doing very well these days. I am just grateful for the life I live & the opportunities I have to grow! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	0	344	Jan 23, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Sent my regrets to that fight I was invited to (Preview) So this morning my AH really, really fought getting out of bed to be with our son so I could get to work (he did this last week, too, every single day--so I would wait and wait and wait, and finally just take the boy to day care myself). I was pleasant but firm about my need to leave, saying that he had promise...	stephaniej	10	442	Jan 24, 2012 by pineapple
	Meditation - A Pathway to Inner Peace - Interested? (Preview) Some people watch TV; I watch youtube videos. I ran across a youtuve video this evening that I think takes the woo-woo out of meditation. So many think it's where you wrap yourself in a loin cloth and lie on a bed of nails Okay, I'm stretching the truth. But you get my drift. This young woman seems to be a...	GailMichelle	5	580	Jan 24, 2012 by GailMichelle
	My first al-anon meeting (Preview) I did it!! Tonight I went to my first meeting. I was so scared walking in, but I want to heal so bad that I took a deep breath and walked in (YAY me!) I have never felt so welcomed, so much love and understanding from complete strangers... Today my Q told me she might go stay with her mom for a while until she...	apesgirl	9	402	Jan 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Husband hiding alcohol causing my depression / anxiety (Preview) My husband of 5 years (we're both 37) suffered from depression for donkeys years. His mother emotioanlly abused him and she was an alcoholic. He has been drinking for past 3 years (in the evenings and daytime at weekends), normally cider, but it clashes with his depression tablets and he acts weird af...	cider	13	5163	Jan 24, 2012 by John
	new here, trying to do 6 mos before major life change.... (Preview) but feel like i have been doing 20 yrs before major life change! I am seriously considering leaving my marriage of 20 yrs. Binge drinker AH; we have 3 kids and it's tough for me to decide to make this change. He is a musician and is constantly around booze--that definitely ups the ante! I am trying to l...	yanksfan51	9	574	Jan 24, 2012 by yanksfan51
	Trying to keep my serenity (Preview) I'm sick with cold symptoms, didn't go to church. A few minutes ago my 26y.o. grandson called and asked me if I could pick him up from the hospital, said he had gone there this morning by ambulance. I told him I was to sick and to call his mother, she is A/A and they don't get alone. I called her after it kep...	Highlyfavored	3	411	Jan 24, 2012 by Highlyfavored
	What is going on?! (Preview) I haven't been on here in a while. I've been taking time to myself. Detaching from my exABF and trying to live my life in a positive and constructive way. I haven't had a conversation with him in six months and that was also the last time I seen him in person. Our last break up was not a good one. He told m...	parfait624	10	908	Jan 24, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	Help with Mom (Preview) I'm worried my mom has a drinking problem. Every late afternoon/early evening she starts drinking, and usually has about 3 glasses of wine. If you don't say anything to her she's ok, but if you say even the smallest thing to contradict her it sets her off. She starts shouting and being sarcastic and cyn...	km93	4	440	Jan 23, 2012 by danni
	As if I can hear God's voice. (Preview) God has a plan, it hurts my head with I try to figure it out, he wants me just to trust him... MY mind gets all this 100% ,, MY feelings are a different matter, tears still come sometimes when I don't want them to,, I wish it would stop, it's been a year and a half since he moved out and 9 mths since we stopped eve...	glad	8	603	Jan 23, 2012 by glad lee
	"someone's opinion of you does not have to become your reality." (Preview) So I did my step 4-7 a while back and was ready to start moving on but then these character defects come popping up like stubborn weeds. This woman at work has been talking about how much she dislikes me and this really urks me.. I feel like we are in highschool and she is at least twenty years older than me....	Michelle814	4	1354	Jan 23, 2012 by Jackie11
	A Nice Website that Reinforces Al-Anon Teachings (Preview) This website that I share with you today is not Al-Anon. I ran across this website during my initial separation with my now ex-husband (we are now reunited after divorcing). I recall sitting in my sparsely furnishes apartment, early in the morning with my favorite cup of tea, kicking back and viewi...	GailMichelle	3	4589	Jan 23, 2012 by sookie
	Feelimg lonley and like I no longer matter (Preview) For the past two days I have been feeling so alone. I finally sat down with my partner what was going on with us. She told me that she has to focus on herself right now, she said she needs to be selfish about her recovery... I have given her nothing but my support and understanding, helping her find meeting p...	apesgirl	7	661	Jan 23, 2012 by glad
	Anyone ever been on Anti_anxiety pills ? (Preview) Wondering if anyone has ever taken anti-anxiety pills .. It's been several years in my program and I have gotten alot and I still Feel the way I do ..., etc.. The obssessions are still here and sometimes .. I can't shut them off; it's balance in that it's not Just a matter of choice. If I couldn't do it mysel...	MeTwo2	5	517	Jan 23, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	Help (Preview) My 17 year old son justed entered rehab for the 3rd time. As you know each time things are worse than the last. I need someone to talk to who I can relate. I have scanned through the topics on this site. Most topics are on A and are with the spouses. Can anybody help	vicky7214	3	495	Jan 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	How long before he can't hurt me anymore? (Preview) I'm still reeling from mediation yesterday. Here I am taking care of EVERYTHING...paying ALL the bills...doing all the repairs on the house, working 60 hours a week....and barely making it on my salary (I owe my parents 7k for loans for a new refrig and my divorce lawyer) Meanwhile, my AH has been unem...	rehprof	9	677	Jan 22, 2012 by kael1539
	"Do you still want to be married to me?" (Preview) On Sunday, after my husband's horrible outburst of Saturday night, he was clearly in a shame spiral. He apologized repeatedly for his behavior (I told him I appreciated his apology, and made it clear I didn't want to keep discussing it over and over again). At one point he asked me "do you still...	stephaniej	8	875	Jan 22, 2012 by yanksfan51
	I will be without internet for awhile and am worried (Preview) I come here and read daily and not always able to post, but it helps keep my mind straight and I meet with my sponsor one night a week. I have 2 weekly meetings, but lately I have worked those days without going. Now my internet provider went bankrupt it is really sad and no one else is up and running out by me y...	Breakingfree	5	459	Jan 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	What is wrong with this picture? (Preview) My 2 adult A/A children both live nearby, as a matter of fact they live together. I'm a retired 71 y.o. woman who live alone and love it. My 16 y.o. grandson just recently moved back home with his mother. My son is on ssi due to a disability, (progressively crippling) he is far from that now. He uses al...	Highlyfavored	3	922	Jan 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	What boundaries for a 17 year old son (Preview) Our 17 year old son is a HS junior and will be 18 in May. This year he changed. He smokes pot. Keep sodd hours. Does not clean his room, do his chores, never gets himself up and most upsetting he is very disrespectful to my wife and me. He seems very anxious about college process but doesn't so too much to i...	johnmarcia	4	1345	Jan 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	I need to express myself AGAIN (Preview) Sometimes, at night, I cry myself to sleep. It used to be because I was worried I couldn't go through another relapse or deal with another lie etc. Now I cry because he's doing better and I'm still sick. That we can't be a "healthy" couple because of me. I didn't even realize I was sick...	MelB	8	518	Jan 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	Never Regret (Preview) It's way past my usual bedtime. I'm all wired up from staying up to bake! So here I am on the Net. I ran across a website about what to never regret and it got me thinking about what I never regret. I never regret - - reading to my sons when they were young. I have such good memories of back then. I never reg...	GailMichelle	3	845	Jan 22, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Doing step 5 tomorrow... (Preview) Already told my sponsor the "positive traits" part of my step 4... tomorrow's time for the scary part! My list of things to tell my sponsor is ready... 15 things to discuss in all... one character defect I am terrified of discussing, followed by 13 that aren't that hard to admit to, and then o...	atheos	4	428	Jan 22, 2012 by Pushka
	I'm the Love of my Life (Preview) My HP is guiding me to proceed with my passions in life. I used to think what's the point? I used to think if no one read my poetry or saw my photographs or bought my paintings then what was the point? I feel so entirely different now. I am creating for me and for me, alone. A friend once told me "you sh...	Michelle814	10	731	Jan 22, 2012 by Michelle814
	Obssession & frozen fear (Ideals) Inner child (Preview) So I have shared I have an Intern. I have shared I stopped growing when I began obssessing on the addicts and alcoholics in my life and that for me that was around 5. Seeing how I stayed stuck in feeling 5. My siblings moved out (My parenting came from them) I was alone. For years I thought I was abandoned and...	MeTwo2	6	948	Jan 21, 2012 by lightblue2
	5th Step (Preview) Hi MIP Family I have posted the 5 th Step to the Step Work Board one day early Please join us there: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/. It is a powerful experience to read and share your ESH. The Steps are the road to recovery. I heard a quote once (cannot remember the source) it goes like this...	hotrod	1	338	Jan 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Lawyer today (Preview) Divorce is a long process in my state...and this week, on Friday I have mandatory mediation. AH will get (by law) 1/2 my retirement...which he intends to live on since he has not worked in 2 years (he lives with his sister since I told him to leave a year ago november). He tells me he is entitled to alimony (...	rehprof	12	610	Jan 21, 2012 by stopandchat
	Boundaries and communication (Preview) How are you at setting boundaries and how well do you communicate them? I went to dinner with a friend last night and she said the first thing I need to do is forgive. Well, yea, that would probably be helpful, LOL. But, we really spent a lot of time talking about forgiveness and how hard it is for 2 broke...	ilovedogs	11	952	Jan 21, 2012 by likemyheart
	do you feel like I do! (Preview) Winter is finally here! I am frustrated by the fact that it has almost been a week since I have been on here. I am suffering from too much snow & unable to get out much. I haven't been to a decent meeting in a week either. Does anyone out there feel like I do? I was worried that I was going to end up like a bear...	Hoot Nanny	0	369	Jan 21, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Sober Alcoholic with Depression (Preview) My AH has been sober nearly one year after drinking since his teenage years. He's had clinical depression for nearly as long, though he was officially diagnosed well into our marriage. He drank despite warnings from his therapist. He stopped seeing the therapist. I admit to years of enabling both th...	Hope4Peace	7	701	Jan 21, 2012 by Hope4Peace
	Living in the Here and Now serenity separation (Preview) Since separating from my AH of 29 years, over nine months ago, I have come to realize how I now live my life in the here and now. I went to a concert last night with some friends and I had forgotten now much I enjoy listening to live music. Instead of being preoccupied with thoughts about my AH and his issues,...	Green Eyes	4	6617	Jan 21, 2012 by Pushka
	Devastated and scared (Preview) In divorce mediation today My AH and his lawyer not only demanded 1/2 my retirement, but he wants $587 a week in spousal support, and wants me to pay for health insurance for him. My take home is $3500/month...my mortgage and insurance are 1400 -- so with me paying that level of spousal support that leav...	rehprof	10	605	Jan 21, 2012 by rara avis
	SNOW! (Preview) And lots of it. Last night word was out, school was closed today, yippee for the kids and what a snow it was - 8-24 inches depending on where you were and how good your yardstick measured. Spent the day shoveling one place and another, laughing with people as they passed, chatting about how much snow and w...	likemyheart	10	655	Jan 21, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Two weeks! (Preview)	Pushka	4	397	Jan 21, 2012 by Pushka
	How do I deal with an alcoholic who wants me to stop consuming alchohol? (Preview) My partner is a 24 year recovering alcoholic. I respect him for his accomplishments and resolve. We've been together for 14 years and have had some rough spots along the way in regards to my consumption of alcohol. It just happened again and I am sick and tired of being berated. Let me explain: When we fi...	LoveWarrior	30	1131	Jan 21, 2012 by tired of trying
	Wondering if I can or should do anything to help.... (Preview) I just got in touch with a friend who I really hadn't been in contact with in about 5-8 years. I became friends with her 30 years ago and was called an aunt to her children who I knew since their births. I lost touch mainly because of her and her husband's drinking at the encouragement of my husband to just...	db55	5	543	Jan 20, 2012 by Breakingfree
	new to it all (Preview) This is my first time on here. My partner just got out of detox for benzos. She has been going to meetings every night. I'm so very proud of her, and want to help more than anything. She goes to an out patient program so I'm not allowed to go. I have looked in my area for nar-anon meetings but I can't find any. I...	apesgirl	6	555	Jan 20, 2012 by apesgirl
	What if......, (Preview) A friend sent me this quote a few days ago: "What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?" I've been doing a lot of 'thanking' ever since I read it. Kind of put things in perspective for me, so I thought I'd share. Have a wonderful day, thankful day! Deni...	never going back	4	374	Jan 20, 2012 by Jerry F
	Just popping in to say hey :) (Preview) Hello friends! Just wanted to tell everyone hi. I've been staying busy personally and professionally and not making adequate time for recovery efforts. I'm not struggling, but need to get back with my program while things are good as opposed to waiting for the next crisis! As my sponsor says, &q...	White Rabbit	5	377	Jan 20, 2012 by Jerry F
	rollercoaster remedy anyone? (Preview) I wrote a long rambling post about my feelings.. then read some of what others are going through.. and decided I have it pretty good, and maybe I need to pray for those who are really struggling today,,, thanks to ALL of us who share no matter how large or small,, you never know how what you say may help some...	glad	5	489	Jan 20, 2012 by Jerry F
	My self worth (Preview) It's been about a week since I've been on here. I shouldn't have stopped for even those 7 days. I have been having a tough time. I can't figure out how to love myself. I feel so 'xxxx' about myself all the time. I am working towards the future but I feel so lost still. I know that my patterns of thoughts and be...	MelB	7	461	Jan 20, 2012 by rehprof
	The Guilt of being OK (Preview) I am finding that I am really struggling with guilt that I am doing alright. My now ex-boyfriend is 30 days clean, through a live-in rehab program. I spent 5 years with him, taking care of him financiallyand in every other way, completely burning myself out in the process. He was always loving and c...	Autumn0729	5	604	Jan 20, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	Really Scared of My First Meeting (Preview) I found a meeting that I could attend tonight. It has childcare, so I can bring the kids. I'm really scared about going though. I don't know why. Will everybody there already know eachother? Will I have to tell my whole story? The website says there are special meetings for newcomers. I can't get to...	MidwesternMom	18	774	Jan 20, 2012 by ythannah
	Multiple Rock Bottoms (Preview) It's been a rough stretch for me, as my AH's emotional abuse has escalated dramatically over the last two months. But tonight I'm feeling grateful and reflective about many things, and I feel so optimistic about my ability to be healthy, emotionally AND physically. I found this website about a yea...	stephaniej	4	436	Jan 19, 2012 by White Rabbit
	Not Sure He Should Come Home Yet (Preview) I told my AH to leave the house on Sunday. I was so angry because I went to church, only to find that I had no money for the collection basket. He stole all the money from my purse. He was high when I got home. I have 2 little kids and I run a home daycare. I cannot have drugs in my house. I could lose my busin...	MidwesternMom	9	702	Jan 19, 2012 by White Rabbit
	When to say something (Preview) This is something that has been on my mind for weeks. I can keep my side of the street clean. Most things I can hand up to HP, I work to leave them there. My AH and I have a daughter who just turned 3. She lives with her mom during the week and we have her almost every weekend, if not for a full weekend then at leas...	Jackie11	18	2050	Jan 19, 2012 by Jackie11
	Update! (Preview) Again, thank you all for your incredible ESH (and for your research). It is serving me well, and helping me to feel stronger. I met with a divorce lawyer yesterday - to ask questions. She was VERY concerned about my safety. I was a bit embarrassed when asked "is there any domestic violence?&q...	KLotus	6	510	Jan 19, 2012 by rara avis
	Intern and judgments .. (Preview) Good morning fellow shippers ? I'm starting an Intern this morning and am nervous. Of course my confidence isn't all that because I put it off for a year and am just now returning. It wasn't waisted time, however, I am feeling the effects of my procrastination in that I've forgotten many things through...	MeTwo2	3	538	Jan 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
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