Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am doing almost exactly what I am told. Got the drier & vacuum fixed today. It is so funny how the smaller things get to me but the big things have been a lighter issue. I am working on slowing down. It is going to be OK but I am a little drained. I need some more sleep then things will probably be more rati...

veeeyloova · veeeyloova

Hey all, new here. My intro is probably just below this in the blog, as I just posted it. I'm in the process of finding an al-anon group that I like, and possibly a sponsor. My question to you folks is this: How is 'higher power' defined for the non-believer? I am agnostic. I believe in something but no...

veeeyloova · veeeyloova

Good morning Al anon family. My name is Kristina and I am new here. I am the adult child of an alcoholic, emotionally abused and neglected as a child. Been through AA/Alateen programs with both my father's addiction, and a sister who had a cocaine problem. Lots of different therapies through my life,...

Mommy2TO · Mommy2TO

This is the first time I'm posting, I just don't know where else to go for support to deal with this. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year, things were great in the beginning until a couple weeks in when I learned he had a cocaine addiction, I stuck by him and supported him, he ended up going...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

We are just back from Easter weekend at my wife's parents. Definitely a challenging week or so and I'd like to just write some stuff down to get it out. Just before we left for our trip, I had a very difficult meeting at work with my bosses' bosses' boss. Yikes. Not only was I told that I wasn't doing a goo...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I did not fall into it this morning, but he brought it to my house full force this morning. He brought my 3 1/2 year old to my door she was screaming her lungs off and flinging herself back onto the floor hard where he set her down on my kitchen floor, so he could get my oldest daughters bags out of his car and ru...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I received another check on Monday--more than the last one. I am so blessed that my dad thought of how he was prepared for his death. I am so grateful that he can share so much that he worked for & was able to retire & be happy before he died. How I spend it is really up to me. My old counselor gave me adv...

Aloha · Aloha

If any of you have Facebook, you probably see friends posting images of quotes every now and then. A friend of mine posted the following quote that was in a graphic and I thought it was great and wanted to pass it along. It just rings so true for me: "If you aren't happy being single you will never be ha...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

When I first dragged my miserable carcass to Al-anon face to face meetings and MIP I had no idea how great life could be. I was a sad and broken. I grew up with alcoholism/addictions in my home and some major dysfunctions that come along with that. When I was a teen I had gotten a butterfly tattoo and a few y...

Chellejm · Chellejm

Is he an alcoholic? My Partner drinks every night, he drinks strong premium lager usually 6+ cans on a work night when he is not working that is doubled if not more. He doesn't miss work because of it and he is generally on time We can watch a movie, only to have to watch it again as he doesn't remember, it's t...

daisy31 · daisy31

Wednesday, May 12, 2010 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go Intimacy We can let ourselves be close to people. Many of us have deeply ingrained patterns for sabotaging relationships. Some of us may instinctively terminate a relationship once it moves to a certain level of closene...

JamisonWestfork · JamisonWestfork

I am basically brand new to Al-Anon. I've been to 2 meetings locally and have read a little on here. And i guess I'm trying to figure out a way, or where, to get started. I understand that I have no control over what my addict does. But yet, when it's a spouse, how can you have no expectations? I guess i'm wond...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

The word I pulled out of my god box today was FEAR. I was raised in a violent alcoholic household. My father was abusive to my mother on numerous occassions. She would always leave him when things got too bad, scoop all us children up and off we'd go to the old Belmont Hotel down by the waterfront (cheap pla...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My son has started experimenting with pot. He got caught, his friends got caught. Lots of anger and emotions from kids and parents. Directed everywhere. When I forbid him from going out tonight I showed a lot of anger. He ended up sneaking out, I drove to the place he said he was going to be and I think...

inneedofsupport · inneedofsupport

this is my first time visiting this site and i stumbled across it while i'm at the impass of some critical decisions. i've been married for almost 10 years, have 2 young kids, and was feeling almost content with a decision to tell my alcoholic husband that we need to separate. i told my parent for the firs...

Augustus · Augustus

Hello everyone, I am dealing with a codependent/helplessly addicted wife of 14 years. I have 3 children and I am self employed and feel that I have no life of my own anymore. There is so much to write and so many incidents, but I will try to be concise and simple. My wife's health has diminished to the point...

foxgoddess · foxgoddess

Day 1 was yesterday. Was involved w/ someone who fell off the wagon the week before we started dating a year ago Feb. He wanted to "socially drink" and thought it wasn't a problem b/c he was a former cocaine user. Within 3 weeks it led to total drunkeness, and then I became aware he had to have Xa...

living for me · living for me

After living with my alcoholic, pot-smoking husband for 13 years (3 of them actively engaged in the cycle of using/relapsing) I've decided to leave for three months with my two little girls. I am so scared. I've never been this scared in my life. I'm basically giving up everything and walking away. We...

Pushka · Pushka

I had a major AHA moment last night at a step meeting .. boy oh boy did it open me up to a lot of tears last night and today. We're doing the 4th step and they were talking about assets and that set me off. Water works city .. LOL .. WOW .. I didn't think I had more tears left today and they have flowed off and on al...

daisy31 · daisy31

WoOah! I am coming to terms lately that I think I may INDEED be a control freak! I never would have thought that would be ME????. I am seeing just how I can try to control things like for instance: I do my husbands hair how I like to, I buy him shirts I like on him, I force him to let me trim his ear hair...hah...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I don't have kids, but I hear from people who do that worrying about your children is part and parcel of being a parent. And that parents tend to always see the little child when they look to their adult children. I get that. My mother has made a career out of telling me how much she worries, can't sleep at n...

emil · emil

Hi Everyone Last night, I went to a face to face meeting. I stayed for the beginning meeting and topic meeting. I voulunteered to be a greeter, so that will help be more consistent attending meetings. The support and the slogans are really beginning to help. The slogans are changing from words o...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I just posted this on the AA Board but I liked it so much I wanted to post it here. I went for a walk yesterday to the corner store. I was going over some stuff in my head. I sponsor a woman who is not only an alcoholic but also a crack and hydromorphone addict. I can't really help her with that and have suggested...

emil · emil

A couple of nights ago my husband was drinking non alcoholic beer. He poured it in a red cup. I suddenly was thinking perhaps he switched it for a real beer and found myself looking in the garbage. It was a minor regression, but I was was actually surprised I did it. I really have to work my program; I c...

maire rua · maire rua

Recently my son was involved in a hold up of a store where the owner was hurt by the car he was a passenger in, I rang my son today to tell him that the man had been finally released from hospital. I think I cared more than he did. I am still very angry over the situation and while some are telling me that I must st...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

I've been absent from the board for a little while because my computer moved out with my husband in early February. But I need some help working through my latest heartbreak, so I'm sneaking on my work computer. My AH husband moved out in Feb, after a 18 year relationship because I said NO MORE. This l...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha all...the Easter Feaster is my home groups (AA) annual tradition breakfast potluck after the meeting. I draws a crowd and part of the crowd is made up of members who haven't seen each other for a while...at least a year. The fallout came this morning as I was talking with one of my friends who at...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH and I have decided to proceed with a divorce. We've been separated for a year as of this weekend and between his continued drinking problem and our financial mess due to his poor business decisions (albeit, decisions that were made with a pickled brain), there were really no other options left. I...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I need help and I know its the right place! I am about to separate from my AH end of June, which is end of school. My daughter doesnt know yet, reason being she needs to write her exams without extra stress, which is fine. My Ah and I have never agreed on parenting rules, him wanting to be her friend, me acting...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone, lap top is broken yet again so I don't have as much access to this site as I usually do. Just wanted to say that I hope you all had a wonderful Easter as mine was very quiet and peaceful. All the best <3 Corgi

sam1609 · sam1609

How do you detach from your kids. They are hurting so much from the chaos that was caused in their lives and are causing even more chaos, because they don't know any better.

willowtree · willowtree

Hello everyone. I have been struggeling somewhat with being organized. I made 2 scheduling mistakes with my kids basketball games today and they missed them both. My husband was very frusterated with me. I do tend to not follow through with things sometimes and I remember that I have been aware t...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all my ex ABf started drinking again about 6 weeks ago and is in a really bad place. We had a chat couple of days agao I seperated from him as soon as he picked up I can not live with active drinking. He has been in AA for 3 years and maanged 9 months sober once. I have uped my meetings and just started attenin...

nicoleinrecovery · nicoleinrecovery

Hi there, my name is Nicole. I am a Senior at Boise State University. I recently ended a long term relationship with someone who abused alcohol regularly. Over the course of two years I changed and became a weak person that eventually, no one would recognize. I was depressed with no solution ahead of me...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Hi! I think I already know the answer, I've a situation where my daughter and I are not talking agggain, she isn't returning my calls. I spoke to my 7 y.o. granddaughter's father who she lives with, he told me is very excited about coming on spring break, she has been gone since Dec. she is 4-5hrs. driv...

thechee · thechee

I'm getting a little more comfortable and share a bit. The people are SO nice and caring. I'm learning little by little (I know it's a long haul), but I'm motivated. What I'm feeling now is the sadness when I get the 'blocked' phone calls that I know are from him....that he is thinking about me, and unfort...

pickles77 · pickles77

Hi- i went to my first al anon meeting today. it was great! everyone was so nice to me and i felt really welcomed. i was given a newcomers packet and i can't believe how much i've learned already. i have a lot of work ahead of me, but i'm ready. i look forward to getting to know you guys.

CCM35 · CCM35

My dad committed sucide last year and now I'm taking care of my mother in her late 70's. Mom was always a "functional alcoholic" who drank at lunch but held down a job and just got wasted with dad over the weekends. Last night I seriously thought she had overdosed taking ambein as well as drink...

Pushka · Pushka

Or maybe it's falling down and learning. Nothing changes .. nothing changes. Well, seriously nothing has changed, I'm not here to take his inventory .. with no program of recovery, with no follow through on his part. It is what it is .. I just can't allow the chaos back into our home. I know I deserve...

stacie · stacie

I am new and this is my first post, my son has drank 7 nights a week for the last 7 years and says he doesnt have a problem, he lost his job last year, and seems more than happy to sit round, doing nothing, and letting everyone run round after him, I threw him out of the family home a year ago and he has never forgi...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Have you been there? Just feeling *off* somehow, something vague, but enough to know something is dragging on you? At first I thought it was disappointment in myself for not taking action on a personal goal. But I started on it yesterday, and don't feel any better today. (But am proud I took the firs...

glad · glad

I think it's been about six months since my last post. 19 months since my ex alcoholic long term boyfriend and I split 10 months since we officially called it DONE about 3 months since I've been less than miserably depressed and not thinking of either him or how much I wasted with him and one day since I...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I am moving forward.. but man, I am emotionally exhausted. All the meditation is starting to wear me out. I don't think I can handle the spiritual overload. I came from no faith so this is all new. My soul if probably happy but my brain hurts. I asked my husband if he was high tonight. Why did I do that? I kn...

Sunshine daydream · Sunshine daydream

Now that I've begun to see it, I see my A's selfishness daily. When I walk in the door I give him a hug and then he stairs at me. "do I get a kiss?". It's like a twisted test of love. Then I notice he never asks "how are YOU?". Even after I told him earlier that I was feeling miserable. Ju...

rehprof · rehprof

Remember the character from Charlie Brown who had the cloud of dirt around him? That's me -- only it isn't dirt, it is negative attitude. I know it's HALT..but I had a meltdown last night...I'm SO tired, and can't keep up with the demands on me. This morning I'm feeling guilty..I don't want to be that per...

michellelong · michellelong

Hello again, well my AH started texting me yesterday morning and calling telling me he was dying.....asking for help. He kept asking to come home but I said that I was not counselor nor a rehad facility and that (I) could not help him. He was coming down off off cocaine and alcohol at this point so he was go...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

Thanks so much to everyone that responded to my post from yesterday titled something like 'how many times can your heart break'. I needed perspective, I needed support, and you gave it to me. Last night I went home after work to a quiet, peaceful house with my two sweet baby dogs, and I thought about...

Timid · Timid

This is so hard for me to talk about. My husband will come home from rehab after sixty days, next week. I'm happy to have him come home but I'm so afraid of my own behavior . I am so used to letting my emotions reflect how he feels. If he was sad I felt sad, if he was angry etc, so was I. How hard it is to detach. He is...

Bead · Bead

Just got home from my face to face meeting. I finally had the opprotunity and the nerve to ask the person I wanted to be my sponser. I just feel like I've made a huge step in recovery and it feels great. Just wanted to share.

living for me · living for me

I've been married for 13 years and have 3 and 5 year old little girls. My husband is a binge drinker and a pot smoker. He has been in a 12 step program since July 2011 when I found out he drove drunk with our daughters in the car and told him I'd reached the end of my rope. I knew he was going to continue with this b...

nola · nola

Please help me. Been in the program for three months and I can barely hold on. I don't know how to move on. I just keep getting hit with one crisis after another which I have no control over. I doubt Gods plan for me is working. My father is dying and I don't know how much more I can take. I have no one to turn to. M...

rehprof · rehprof

Had a very good meeting with my counselor...which I so needed. It seems he wants me to acknowledge my anger....and respond in appropriate ways. Anger is a signal that people have crossed a boundary...but once I feel angry...right on its heels is SHAME for being angry. Nice girls aren't angry. You all...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

Where to begin. This is my first time here looking for guidance and strength. I grew up with an addict & alcoholic parents. My personal life has been a mess forever. Now in my 40's I'm here trying to fix me, my thinking and behaviors. I've only had 2 serious relationships with men, both were active a...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

You'd think that I know by now to NOT set any expectations from my AH. Yet, lately I feel so desperate for attention that I find myself falling into my codie trap all over again. So, for Easter I got him a nice card. I wrote a heartfelt note saying that spring is for renewal and that I was thanking God for g...

Pushka · Pushka

This was something that came up in a discussion I was having today after a meeting. I'm curious to hear what you all think of this .. love as a shield .. How do I get there? Does anyone practice this concept? What does it mean to you? Whatever ESH regarding love as a shield (both for outward to the world a...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I posted a comment just a few minutes ago that was inappropriate. I have no excuse. I deleted the comment and I hope I didn't offend anyone other than the moderator who brought it to my attention.

Julie3310 · Julie3310

so im kind of nervous. It has been over 3 months since I let my crack addict ex-boyfriend go. Heard through the grapevine he could be getting out this Friday. I have slowly growing and working on my happiness and it all was because I put him out of sight and out of mind. I am nervous and I am nervous and anxio...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Another post talks some about being alone on holidays and I wanted to address the issue in a new topic. I have to say, that for the past year I have enjoyed every holiday because I've been able to relax and truly enjoy them, taking them back and making them for me again. No more making it all about him and wha...

nothopeless · nothopeless

i have been attending f2f meetings and I realize that my AS is too dependent on me. I know this is how I contributed to his addition. I am going out of town for a few days and he is worried about his transportation as he can not drive and we live miles from town, he is stressed about making it to work. he is livi...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know fear is something that is ruling my emotions these days. I sometimes see fear as an inability to trust God, yet I also see it as a means of protection for my soul. As negative an emotion that fear is, I do believe that it has it's place. It's giving me the confidence to believe that things will work...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	this is a real quickie! (Preview) I am doing almost exactly what I am told. Got the drier & vacuum fixed today. It is so funny how the smaller things get to me but the big things have been a lighter issue. I am working on slowing down. It is going to be OK but I am a little drained. I need some more sleep then things will probably be more rati...	Hoot Nanny	2	357	Apr 13, 2012 by Wolfie55
	defining 'higher power' (Preview) Hey all, new here. My intro is probably just below this in the blog, as I just posted it. I'm in the process of finding an al-anon group that I like, and possibly a sponsor. My question to you folks is this: How is 'higher power' defined for the non-believer? I am agnostic. I believe in something but no...	veeeyloova	12	4458	Apr 12, 2012 by veeeyloova
	new here! my story (Preview) Good morning Al anon family. My name is Kristina and I am new here. I am the adult child of an alcoholic, emotionally abused and neglected as a child. Been through AA/Alateen programs with both my father's addiction, and a sister who had a cocaine problem. Lots of different therapies through my life,...	veeeyloova	7	556	Apr 12, 2012 by veeeyloova
	Don't Know what to do.... (Preview) This is the first time I'm posting, I just don't know where else to go for support to deal with this. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year, things were great in the beginning until a couple weeks in when I learned he had a cocaine addiction, I stuck by him and supported him, he ended up going...	Mommy2TO	7	531	Apr 12, 2012 by Pushka
	Easter weekend (Preview) We are just back from Easter weekend at my wife's parents. Definitely a challenging week or so and I'd like to just write some stuff down to get it out. Just before we left for our trip, I had a very difficult meeting at work with my bosses' bosses' boss. Yikes. Not only was I told that I wasn't doing a goo...	usedtobeanyer	5	615	Apr 12, 2012 by hotrod
	ExAH and his drama (Preview) I did not fall into it this morning, but he brought it to my house full force this morning. He brought my 3 1/2 year old to my door she was screaming her lungs off and flinging herself back onto the floor hard where he set her down on my kitchen floor, so he could get my oldest daughters bags out of his car and ru...	Breakingfree	7	578	Apr 12, 2012 by Breakingfree
	more money & way too much! (Preview) I received another check on Monday--more than the last one. I am so blessed that my dad thought of how he was prepared for his death. I am so grateful that he can share so much that he worked for & was able to retire & be happy before he died. How I spend it is really up to me. My old counselor gave me adv...	Hoot Nanny	5	544	Apr 12, 2012 by hotrod
	Great quote (Preview) If any of you have Facebook, you probably see friends posting images of quotes every now and then. A friend of mine posted the following quote that was in a graphic and I thought it was great and wanted to pass it along. It just rings so true for me: "If you aren't happy being single you will never be ha...	Aloha	10	615	Apr 12, 2012 by MeTwo2
	metamorphosis from caterpillar to butterfly (Preview) When I first dragged my miserable carcass to Al-anon face to face meetings and MIP I had no idea how great life could be. I was a sad and broken. I grew up with alcoholism/addictions in my home and some major dysfunctions that come along with that. When I was a teen I had gotten a butterfly tattoo and a few y...	Breakingfree	6	925	Apr 12, 2012 by pinkchip
	I think my partner is an alcoholic but he denies he has a problem (Preview) Is he an alcoholic? My Partner drinks every night, he drinks strong premium lager usually 6+ cans on a work night when he is not working that is doubled if not more. He doesn't miss work because of it and he is generally on time We can watch a movie, only to have to watch it again as he doesn't remember, it's t...	Chellejm	8	672	Apr 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	This read on Intimacy nails it for me (Preview) Wednesday, May 12, 2010 You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go Intimacy We can let ourselves be close to people. Many of us have deeply ingrained patterns for sabotaging relationships. Some of us may instinctively terminate a relationship once it moves to a certain level of closene...	daisy31	4	505	Apr 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Expectations (Preview) I am basically brand new to Al-Anon. I've been to 2 meetings locally and have read a little on here. And i guess I'm trying to figure out a way, or where, to get started. I understand that I have no control over what my addict does. But yet, when it's a spouse, how can you have no expectations? I guess i'm wond...	JamisonWestfork	4	870	Apr 11, 2012 by bettyboop
	Sometimes I Miss the Cage (Preview) The word I pulled out of my god box today was FEAR. I was raised in a violent alcoholic household. My father was abusive to my mother on numerous occassions. She would always leave him when things got too bad, scoop all us children up and off we'd go to the old Belmont Hotel down by the waterfront (cheap pla...	Wolfie55	5	646	Apr 11, 2012 by Jerry F
	need a prayer (Preview) My son has started experimenting with pot. He got caught, his friends got caught. Lots of anger and emotions from kids and parents. Directed everywhere. When I forbid him from going out tonight I showed a lot of anger. He ended up sneaking out, I drove to the place he said he was going to be and I think...	DadtoCandE	7	749	Apr 11, 2012 by maryjane
	newby - overhwhelmed with decisions (Preview) this is my first time visiting this site and i stumbled across it while i'm at the impass of some critical decisions. i've been married for almost 10 years, have 2 young kids, and was feeling almost content with a decision to tell my alcoholic husband that we need to separate. i told my parent for the firs...	inneedofsupport	4	563	Apr 11, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Maliciously indifferent wife (Preview) Hello everyone, I am dealing with a codependent/helplessly addicted wife of 14 years. I have 3 children and I am self employed and feel that I have no life of my own anymore. There is so much to write and so many incidents, but I will try to be concise and simple. My wife's health has diminished to the point...	Augustus	16	1174	Apr 11, 2012 by Augustus
	just started Al Anon (Preview) Day 1 was yesterday. Was involved w/ someone who fell off the wagon the week before we started dating a year ago Feb. He wanted to "socially drink" and thought it wasn't a problem b/c he was a former cocaine user. Within 3 weeks it led to total drunkeness, and then I became aware he had to have Xa...	foxgoddess	3	352	Apr 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
	TIme Out (Preview) After living with my alcoholic, pot-smoking husband for 13 years (3 of them actively engaged in the cycle of using/relapsing) I've decided to leave for three months with my two little girls. I am so scared. I've never been this scared in my life. I'm basically giving up everything and walking away. We...	living for me	10	491	Apr 11, 2012 by nola
	Emotionally vulnerable (Preview) I had a major AHA moment last night at a step meeting .. boy oh boy did it open me up to a lot of tears last night and today. We're doing the 4th step and they were talking about assets and that set me off. Water works city .. LOL .. WOW .. I didn't think I had more tears left today and they have flowed off and on al...	Pushka	15	629	Apr 11, 2012 by Doozy
	I think I may be a control freak! (Preview) WoOah! I am coming to terms lately that I think I may INDEED be a control freak! I never would have thought that would be ME????. I am seeing just how I can try to control things like for instance: I do my husbands hair how I like to, I buy him shirts I like on him, I force him to let me trim his ear hair...hah...	daisy31	11	810	Apr 11, 2012 by Doozy
	Forever babied- Advice on dealing with mother! (Preview) I don't have kids, but I hear from people who do that worrying about your children is part and parcel of being a parent. And that parents tend to always see the little child when they look to their adult children. I get that. My mother has made a career out of telling me how much she worries, can't sleep at n...	Dolly Llama	19	823	Apr 11, 2012 by Doozy
	went to a face to face meeting (Preview) Hi Everyone Last night, I went to a face to face meeting. I stayed for the beginning meeting and topic meeting. I voulunteered to be a greeter, so that will help be more consistent attending meetings. The support and the slogans are really beginning to help. The slogans are changing from words o...	emil	4	633	Apr 11, 2012 by Karen S
	How Much Time You Got Buddy? (Preview) I just posted this on the AA Board but I liked it so much I wanted to post it here. I went for a walk yesterday to the corner store. I was going over some stuff in my head. I sponsor a woman who is not only an alcoholic but also a crack and hydromorphone addict. I can't really help her with that and have suggested...	Wolfie55	22	1201	Apr 11, 2012 by Wolfie55
	surprised I would go back to old habits (Preview) A couple of nights ago my husband was drinking non alcoholic beer. He poured it in a red cup. I suddenly was thinking perhaps he switched it for a real beer and found myself looking in the garbage. It was a minor regression, but I was was actually surprised I did it. I really have to work my program; I c...	emil	2	364	Apr 11, 2012 by ilovedogs
	feeling very hurt with actions of A-son (Preview) Recently my son was involved in a hold up of a store where the owner was hurt by the car he was a passenger in, I rang my son today to tell him that the man had been finally released from hospital. I think I cared more than he did. I am still very angry over the situation and while some are telling me that I must st...	maire rua	5	659	Apr 11, 2012 by orchidlover
	How many times can you heart break (Preview) I've been absent from the board for a little while because my computer moved out with my husband in early February. But I need some help working through my latest heartbreak, so I'm sneaking on my work computer. My AH husband moved out in Feb, after a 18 year relationship because I said NO MORE. This l...	Iris lover of dogs	18	810	Apr 11, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	Easter Feaster fallout (Preview) Aloha all...the Easter Feaster is my home groups (AA) annual tradition breakfast potluck after the meeting. I draws a crowd and part of the crowd is made up of members who haven't seen each other for a while...at least a year. The fallout came this morning as I was talking with one of my friends who at...	Jerry F	8	596	Apr 10, 2012 by Aloha
	We're Done- Mixed Feelings Divorce moving forward (Preview) My AH and I have decided to proceed with a divorce. We've been separated for a year as of this weekend and between his continued drinking problem and our financial mess due to his poor business decisions (albeit, decisions that were made with a pickled brain), there were really no other options left. I...	Green Eyes	13	9822	Apr 10, 2012 by Auntyaya
	how to set up boundaries with teenager? (Preview) I need help and I know its the right place! I am about to separate from my AH end of June, which is end of school. My daughter doesnt know yet, reason being she needs to write her exams without extra stress, which is fine. My Ah and I have never agreed on parenting rules, him wanting to be her friend, me acting...	Crazy Frog	12	904	Apr 10, 2012 by sam1609
	Peaceful Easter (Preview) Hey everyone, lap top is broken yet again so I don't have as much access to this site as I usually do. Just wanted to say that I hope you all had a wonderful Easter as mine was very quiet and peaceful. All the best <3 Corgi	Corgi2	4	382	Apr 10, 2012 by Jerry F
	teenagers, drama- detachment (Preview) How do you detach from your kids. They are hurting so much from the chaos that was caused in their lives and are causing even more chaos, because they don't know any better.	sam1609	10	814	Apr 10, 2012 by sam1609
	A pattern of pushing people away (Preview) Hello everyone. I have been struggeling somewhat with being organized. I made 2 scheduling mistakes with my kids basketball games today and they missed them both. My husband was very frusterated with me. I do tend to not follow through with things sometimes and I remember that I have been aware t...	willowtree	7	738	Apr 10, 2012 by abbyal
	tired (Preview) Hi all my ex ABf started drinking again about 6 weeks ago and is in a really bad place. We had a chat couple of days agao I seperated from him as soon as he picked up I can not live with active drinking. He has been in AA for 3 years and maanged 9 months sober once. I have uped my meetings and just started attenin...	Tracy	7	507	Apr 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Final step to recovery. (Preview) Hi there, my name is Nicole. I am a Senior at Boise State University. I recently ended a long term relationship with someone who abused alcohol regularly. Over the course of two years I changed and became a weak person that eventually, no one would recognize. I was depressed with no solution ahead of me...	nicoleinrecovery	1	478	Apr 9, 2012 by maryjane
	"Sick and tired of being sick and tired " of A/A daugher's business (Preview) Hi! I think I already know the answer, I've a situation where my daughter and I are not talking agggain, she isn't returning my calls. I spoke to my 7 y.o. granddaughter's father who she lives with, he told me is very excited about coming on spring break, she has been gone since Dec. she is 4-5hrs. driv...	Highlyfavored	2	423	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	3 Al Anon Meetings....yay!!! (Preview) I'm getting a little more comfortable and share a bit. The people are SO nice and caring. I'm learning little by little (I know it's a long haul), but I'm motivated. What I'm feeling now is the sadness when I get the 'blocked' phone calls that I know are from him....that he is thinking about me, and unfort...	thechee	5	377	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	First meeting today! (Preview) Hi- i went to my first al anon meeting today. it was great! everyone was so nice to me and i felt really welcomed. i was given a newcomers packet and i can't believe how much i've learned already. i have a lot of work ahead of me, but i'm ready. i look forward to getting to know you guys.	pickles77	6	353	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Newbie taking care of mom (Preview) My dad committed sucide last year and now I'm taking care of my mother in her late 70's. Mom was always a "functional alcoholic" who drank at lunch but held down a job and just got wasted with dad over the weekends. Last night I seriously thought she had overdosed taking ambein as well as drink...	CCM35	6	454	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Learning and falling down (Preview) Or maybe it's falling down and learning. Nothing changes .. nothing changes. Well, seriously nothing has changed, I'm not here to take his inventory .. with no program of recovery, with no follow through on his part. It is what it is .. I just can't allow the chaos back into our home. I know I deserve...	Pushka	12	602	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Heartbroken and confused (Preview) I am new and this is my first post, my son has drank 7 nights a week for the last 7 years and says he doesnt have a problem, he lost his job last year, and seems more than happy to sit round, doing nothing, and letting everyone run round after him, I threw him out of the family home a year ago and he has never forgi...	stacie	6	685	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Hard to identify this feeling (Preview) Have you been there? Just feeling off somehow, something vague, but enough to know something is dragging on you? At first I thought it was disappointment in myself for not taking action on a personal goal. But I started on it yesterday, and don't feel any better today. (But am proud I took the firs...	Dolly Llama	10	778	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	I need the anger (Preview) I think it's been about six months since my last post. 19 months since my ex alcoholic long term boyfriend and I split 10 months since we officially called it DONE about 3 months since I've been less than miserably depressed and not thinking of either him or how much I wasted with him and one day since I...	glad	6	492	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Overwhelmed (Preview) I am moving forward.. but man, I am emotionally exhausted. All the meditation is starting to wear me out. I don't think I can handle the spiritual overload. I came from no faith so this is all new. My soul if probably happy but my brain hurts. I asked my husband if he was high tonight. Why did I do that? I kn...	Michelle814	11	527	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	The selfishn-ness (Preview) Now that I've begun to see it, I see my A's selfishness daily. When I walk in the door I give him a hug and then he stairs at me. "do I get a kiss?". It's like a twisted test of love. Then I notice he never asks "how are YOU?". Even after I told him earlier that I was feeling miserable. Ju...	Sunshine daydream	11	695	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Channeling "Pig Pen" (Preview) Remember the character from Charlie Brown who had the cloud of dirt around him? That's me -- only it isn't dirt, it is negative attitude. I know it's HALT..but I had a meltdown last night...I'm SO tired, and can't keep up with the demands on me. This morning I'm feeling guilty..I don't want to be that per...	rehprof	4	540	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Husband in detox (Preview) Hello again, well my AH started texting me yesterday morning and calling telling me he was dying.....asking for help. He kept asking to come home but I said that I was not counselor nor a rehad facility and that (I) could not help him. He was coming down off off cocaine and alcohol at this point so he was go...	michellelong	9	920	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Thank you all for your inspiration - I am back on track (Preview) Thanks so much to everyone that responded to my post from yesterday titled something like 'how many times can your heart break'. I needed perspective, I needed support, and you gave it to me. Last night I went home after work to a quiet, peaceful house with my two sweet baby dogs, and I thought about...	Iris lover of dogs	2	370	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Husband in rehab (Preview) This is so hard for me to talk about. My husband will come home from rehab after sixty days, next week. I'm happy to have him come home but I'm so afraid of my own behavior . I am so used to letting my emotions reflect how he feels. If he was sad I felt sad, if he was angry etc, so was I. How hard it is to detach. He is...	Timid	7	576	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Finally (Preview) Just got home from my face to face meeting. I finally had the opprotunity and the nerve to ask the person I wanted to be my sponser. I just feel like I've made a huge step in recovery and it feels great. Just wanted to share.	Bead	5	373	Apr 9, 2012 by Pushka
	Newbie with Alcoholic Pot Smoking Husband SHM alcoholic pot daughters (Preview) I've been married for 13 years and have 3 and 5 year old little girls. My husband is a binge drinker and a pot smoker. He has been in a 12 step program since July 2011 when I found out he drove drunk with our daughters in the car and told him I'd reached the end of my rope. I knew he was going to continue with this b...	living for me	7	8652	Apr 9, 2012 by living for me
	how to move on (Preview) Please help me. Been in the program for three months and I can barely hold on. I don't know how to move on. I just keep getting hit with one crisis after another which I have no control over. I doubt Gods plan for me is working. My father is dying and I don't know how much more I can take. I have no one to turn to. M...	nola	8	703	Apr 9, 2012 by nmike
	Pig Pen went out last night! (Preview) Had a very good meeting with my counselor...which I so needed. It seems he wants me to acknowledge my anger....and respond in appropriate ways. Anger is a signal that people have crossed a boundary...but once I feel angry...right on its heels is SHAME for being angry. Nice girls aren't angry. You all...	rehprof	6	715	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	No More Catepillar (Preview) Where to begin. This is my first time here looking for guidance and strength. I grew up with an addict & alcoholic parents. My personal life has been a mess forever. Now in my 40's I'm here trying to fix me, my thinking and behaviors. I've only had 2 serious relationships with men, both were active a...	IWannaFly	6	646	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Expectations that lead to resentments, DUH! (Preview) You'd think that I know by now to NOT set any expectations from my AH. Yet, lately I feel so desperate for attention that I find myself falling into my codie trap all over again. So, for Easter I got him a nice card. I wrote a heartfelt note saying that spring is for renewal and that I was thanking God for g...	ilovedogs	6	663	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Love as a shield (Preview) This was something that came up in a discussion I was having today after a meeting. I'm curious to hear what you all think of this .. love as a shield .. How do I get there? Does anyone practice this concept? What does it mean to you? Whatever ESH regarding love as a shield (both for outward to the world a...	Pushka	10	570	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Apology (Preview) I posted a comment just a few minutes ago that was inappropriate. I have no excuse. I deleted the comment and I hope I didn't offend anyone other than the moderator who brought it to my attention.	Wolfie55	1	524	Apr 9, 2012 by hotrod
	He is possibly getting out of jail and I am NERVOUS!! (Preview) so im kind of nervous. It has been over 3 months since I let my crack addict ex-boyfriend go. Heard through the grapevine he could be getting out this Friday. I have slowly growing and working on my happiness and it all was because I put him out of sight and out of mind. I am nervous and I am nervous and anxio...	Julie3310	4	525	Apr 9, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Happy Easter - Holidays Alone (Preview) Another post talks some about being alone on holidays and I wanted to address the issue in a new topic. I have to say, that for the past year I have enjoyed every holiday because I've been able to relax and truly enjoy them, taking them back and making them for me again. No more making it all about him and wha...	likemyheart	9	576	Apr 9, 2012 by Wolfie55
	detachment (Preview) i have been attending f2f meetings and I realize that my AS is too dependent on me. I know this is how I contributed to his addition. I am going out of town for a few days and he is worried about his transportation as he can not drive and we live miles from town, he is stressed about making it to work. he is livi...	nothopeless	2	379	Apr 8, 2012 by Jerry F
	Fear (Preview) I know fear is something that is ruling my emotions these days. I sometimes see fear as an inability to trust God, yet I also see it as a means of protection for my soul. As negative an emotion that fear is, I do believe that it has it's place. It's giving me the confidence to believe that things will work...	ilovedogs	15	3080	Apr 8, 2012 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.