Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

pennyprincipal · pennyprincipal

My 34 year old alcoholic stepson has recently moved in to live with my husband of 20 years and myself. Although he showed huge promise as a youth, alcohol has robbed him of everything. He has no education, no skills, no friends, no family (divorced), no job, no drivers' license, no possessions other...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

It's only Wednesday and so far . . . My AH showed up to a counseling session with his therapist and his son with a BAC of .14 at 9:30 am. He ran into a car in the parking lot. His therapist had seen it happen and waited to see if he would mention it and when he didn't he confronted him and made him take a breathalyz...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Hi! My computer has been down for a few weeks, but the disease is still alive and well. My grandson, who receives a ss check due a learning disability, turned 18 in March. His a/a mother have been living off these funds for the past 8 yrs. and taking care of her young a/abf with her foodstamps and sec8 h...

Burses · Burses

I know I probably should take some time to lurk a while or read a few stickies so I apologize in advance for jumping the gun. I really need to get some of this out. First of all, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting but I have considered it. I met someone in AA and we hit it off great...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I guess sometimes I have to have a moment. Yesterday I was on the radio after answering a question right. I tried only 8 times & got through. They said my name & where I am from. I guess what I am trying to say is that anyone who knows me who heard it now know my full name--first & last. But, anyhow...

falconfan00 · falconfan00

I am new to the boards here, and i am seeking help and advice. I have a family member who is abusing alcohol and perscription drugs. This person just left their second stint at rehab, this time this person was 'kicked out' of the rehab facility. They lasted less than two weeks. The rehab facility sa...

iviedoodle · iviedoodle

Well, I'm 26 years old and am a child of an alcoholic. Actually, it's more like I'm the parent (And I know that's typical for child-adult alcoholic relationships). My parents divorced when I was 4 due to my father's drug/alcohol abuse. My mother's father was an alcoholic (vodka killed him), so my mot...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know I need to turn my son(he's 14) over to God. I know that I've only done the best that I can do as a parent. I 'know' these things but still I have fear for his future. He recently overheard some of my conversation with my AH where I told my AH I was tired of his lies and the continued drinking and driving...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I am learning to detach worrywart care of myself. In doing this I am coming off as a "not nice person" . I don't have the patience for drunk neediness and chaos. And I tend to walk away and busy myself a lot. My 7 and 21 yr old see me as cold. I'm trying to learn to detach with love. But obviously am no...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I showed up late and I tried to ask who was chairing and got no response in the room. Everyone chatting at once like it was a chatroom of sorts? Maybe this is how it goes now unsure. Thanks

rookie95 · rookie95

Hello all - since I'm still new here, can someone please fill me in on what all the abreviations are? I assume that A = alcoholic, and AH might be alcoholic husband...but after that I'm totally lost. Thanks!!!

1976love · 1976love

Without getting into specifics, I not only have a recovering AH, but other family members that get me "crazy" to my very core. Today my phone rang (which was totally predictable because the other person has a responsibility that is always pushed off on someone else) and I didn't answer it...

rookie95 · rookie95

Hi all! I'm still pretty new here, and am wondering how do I manage my expectations? I seem to be having a difficult time with that. My BF has been in rehab since last Wed. He called me for a quick second (from his counselor's office) last Friday, to tell me that he was allowed to have visitors on Sunday....

blondie99 · blondie99

I had a really amazing revelation today in my Al Anon meeting. I was sharing about how I handled the situation with my XAH (still trying to get used to the "STBX" part being gone from my vernacular). I don't have children, except for my furry doggie one, so I've never quite gotten the grasp of t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everybody: I don't know a lot about the stages of grief, but I remember denial, anger and acceptance and I think that's the correct order? AH has been moving through the 3 of them, and I can only believe that because I am not wavering he is being gently nudged toward acceptance. Yesterday he looked a...

Katytexasmom · Katytexasmom

My precious 19 year old son has suffered the effects of his addiction and now the problems are snowballing. He asked for help today (wants to work with me again, especially since his misdomeaner keeps him from getting hired) and he said aid I will help him get his car/suspended license issue worked out...

willowtree · willowtree

I hope it is okay to post this here. I am struggling in alanon with a person I really do not click with. She is a long timer and everyone looks up to her. I live in a small area so I can't just switch meetings. I feel like I have tried everything to be able to be her friend. I have asked God, I have really been...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Everything I read says not to try to control or get in the way of his disease. My ah has gone to a doc that prescribed meds to not lose temper etc. but he continues to drink (a lot) So if I try to reinforce the boundary of drinking at home etc I'm wrong. He's gonna drink and I know it. Weather I see it or not. I do my...

beckon11 · beckon11

HI F RIENDS, My daughter got a dui this spring. Just found out they are treatening jail/and pulling her bond. She missed 2 ba,s. ON HER WILD bIRTHDAY WEEKEND. I am upset!! I can not save her I know. I have become responcable for all transportation. Yet have li...

Pushka · Pushka

I just wanted to vent really quick .. so much I will write out and honestly I wind up deleting it before posting it or it winds up as a draft when I go to respond to something else .. lol. Soooo .. I am very grateful that I do think the way I do, .. my atty was pregnant had her baby the second week of this month and I...

Tracy · Tracy

If someone would have told me a couple of years ago that my ABf would be sober and this well I would of laughed. I am also feeling amazing and we both deserve it we go to meetings, conventions work the steps life is so good Hp is blessing us for connecting with him and following his will. My ABF proposed on Sat...

rookie95 · rookie95

My bf has been in rehab for 5 days (not his first time). I went to visit him yesterday, with my son (age 3), and his parents. I was really looking forward to seeing him, as the last time I saw him was almost a week ago. I'm not really sure how I'm feeling now. Kind of sad, kind of disappointed, but kind of glad as...

lnc12 · lnc12

AH stayed in detox 2 days, and they let him go saying he wasn't going through withdrawals. They didn't have a bed open at rehab, so he had to come home. They were going to call him when a spot opened, but he has since opted out of that option. He's drinking again, which I knew he would if he didn't go straight f...

manor123 · manor123

This weekend I was forced to face the fact that my significant other of 14 years began using meth again, completely devestating our family. I have a 17 and 14 year old daughters from a previous relationship that he has raised as his own. Before I explain what is going on now I should back up to 2007... He wa...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

I'm in the middle of trying to hurry up the divorce process with my stbxah. I'm so done with this marriage and I just want out as quickly as possible. He was the one who intially started saying he wanted a divorce six months ago and continues to tell me he hates me and can't wait to get me out of his life. I fina...

el-cee · el-cee

Hi, a friend of mine sent me an article about 'Toxic people' and I wanted to share the jist of it with everyone. It says that when someone harms us our body's have an involuntary reaction. 'the body's reaction to someone who has harmed you is simply that: the body's reaction, something that happens. You...

el-cee · el-cee

My life seems to be going well just now. I am getting healthier and fitter, Im even losing weight, I have good friends and a job I love but i cant get this sadness away. I am worried about my son. He is homeless, staying with friends, no home comforts, no room or space of his own, he is miserable, angry and fee...

Rinn · Rinn

I have been riding a crazy roller coaster with my husbands addiction. I am looking back and see a distirbing pattern of my thinking and wanted some thought. It seems like I always think things are getting better, like his sobriety is so close- any day now. But it never happens. It is just typical addic...

DavidG · DavidG

Oh, At the moment I am trying to draw a line in our Alanon group. {I am a GR}. Between Alanon and AA. Tough, because the boundaries between Alanon and AA run very deep. Our higher power has a deep and abiding hand in all our affairs, and I find that to be a great strength. The 'no cross-talk rule' has come acr...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I haven't been on in a while and things have Noreen going pretty good. I do have a question/dilemma haven't seen covered. The wife has really cut down the drinking a lot. I have not commented on it at all and the less attention seemed to work. She has gone from a large bottle of wine most nights to a smal...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Well again tonight my AH sober told me he wants to no now if I will stay married to him when I'm better? Can't tell him that. He wants me to promise this. I can not tell the future and I don't want to give false hope. He told me tonight before he went to work that its going to be hard going to aa meetings now . Wh...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

How do I heal and move on when the AH 5 months sober will not let me get better want nothing to do with the kids. Does not want to know them he know there his kids but won't get to know them , wont i let me work on a program I just started. Still on step one. Set boundarys easy one . I asked of space and privacy to work...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so grateful that things can get better if I just get out of the way! I don't have anything to complain about. I have so much more to offer than I ever have. I am blessed beyond belief. I own my home & have plenty of money in the bank. And, to top it off my sister is still here & we are having a lot of fun...

Fool4You · Fool4You

I haven't seen my ABF in three months and last heard from him when he called me from a hospital psych ward. He was in a psych ward because he threatened suicide to a police officer AGAIN. When he called me he told me he missed me, loved and asked if I had any money. LOL There's the real reason for the call. I'm l...

bewitchedand bloodyannoyed · bewitchedand bloodyannoyed

Hi! Totally new here but I'm wondering if anyone can help me. My dad is in his mid 70s and 18 months ago my mum died. She was the light of his life but had been ill for many years (survived 20 years past her life expectancy!) and Dad had been her carer for the last few years. Over the last year or so he's been d...

Pushka · Pushka

And all I can say is it was a weekend and a half, .. I'm emotionally drained on the other hand I feel like I have taken a major step in healing myself. Confirmation was amazing .. my girl looked beautiful, my son looked sharp and yes of course there were hiccups I expected it so I tried to just keep my focus on...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

When I first moved out in August to get away from the craziness of my AH I went to my parents house. I was so homesick but I worked my way through it. I moved into my own apartment in January and was so excited to have my own little place in the world. Fast forward, 3-4 months later and I am so lonely. It is drivin...

Pipper · Pipper

Just realizing I'm back to step I again powerless over alcohol I keep forgetting that. My ah keeps flip flopping on our relationship doesn't know what he wants I'm tired of it I am still looking for the sober man he was before he relapsed after 20years sobriety we are married 29 years.Im always falling...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: Well, the AH again said he will go to AA, really work on his issues, and if he is willing to do this, can he continue to live in the house, even as a tenant?? I say..we had talked about a June 1 moveout anyway, I have no problem with you staying here until then, so by all means I hope AA is right for yo...

forestfairy · forestfairy

Hard day today, a month since I walked out with my child and went to a shelter. Now we are back home and my ex has moved to an apt. But I was so angry today at him. Trying hard to keep it in. I am stuck with a huge workload and he came by for his golf clubs. He's got lots of free time because he's out of work. I am s...

rehprof · rehprof

just talking to my exSIL on FB...and letting her know, in a gentle way, that her brother (my exA) is in the wrong... of course her reaction is that "you are both bitter and angry..." Why does her saying that make me want to scream? He hasn't worked in 3 years, is angry and abusive, does NOTHING...

John · John

I'd Love to But....-I want to spend more time with my blender.-The man on television told me to say tuned.-It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.-I'm building a pig from a kit.-I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.-There's a disturbance in the Force.-I have to check the freshness da...

hotrod · Senior Member

katfshh Senior Member Status: OfflinePosts: 245Date: 2h, 46m ago I'm back.ReplyQuoteMore Edit PostDelete PostBan IPReport Spam Hi everyone, I have been such a bad member lately. But, I am back. I have had so many positive things happen in the last 10 months since my AF left! It really is almosst cre...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I have faced the fact that my marriage of 26 years is broken beyond repair because he doesn't want or doesn't have the willpower to stick to a treatment/abstinence program. I quit a horrible job last month and don't have any prospects of anything on the horizon. I went to the beach last week and there are...

blondie99 · blondie99

XAH came by the house yesterday morning to pick up the rest of his belongings, and my BFF took me to a notary yesterday afternoon to sign the divorce papers. Wow. I never would have thought that 10 years ago when we met that this is where I'd be. I was going to take the papers to the courthouse yesterday, bu...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I'm slowly learning to focus on myself, to make myself a better person..I'm learning to improve my self confidence. I'm spending time with friends.and I'm laughing again, really laughing and I haven't done that in a long time. I'm learning to surrender the person who my A used to be, and I'm taking car...

souljoy · souljoy

do we wake up and then decide to take back our self respect? I do pretty well most of the time but today has been frustrating and I feel like my energy is drained. Dealing with my AH in any way does not work. I can say hello and it is wrong. If I am kind if I am confrontive if I am compassionate or whatever it doe...

imom · imom

I want to start a a new law that allows people to get restraining orders based on emotional abuse. I don't understand why someone needs to be assaulted or threatened to be protected. I know that I have the right to leave, but my children have begged me not to leave our house and our pets. He is in our hous...

Cam0612 · Cam0612

Hi there, I'm new and feel so lost. My husband admitted to being an alcoholic about six months ago. He was actively involved in AA but then started drinking again. I made him leave the house. we have an 8 year did daughter I am trying to protect. He ended up in detox and was doing well for about six weeks. I r...

NicoleDiver · NicoleDiver

My mom asked me if I could receive personal mail at work. Translation: "I have some hate mail I want to send you that I don't want your AH to read." She's really good at that. Every 2 years or so she writes me a hateful letter, threatens to write me out of her will (I've told her I don't want her $...

wildrosejmj · wildrosejmj

Hi, Where to start. My husband has been an alcoholic since 1994. Well, I'm sure he was before that but in the 4 years I knew him before that he wasn't. He didn't start drinking inappropriately until after our oldest child was born in Jan. of that year. I knew nothing about alcoholism or what it looke...

Aloha · Aloha

This morning I got a phone call from what I'm pretty sure was a collections agency looking for my ex. After almost three years of being divorced, I'm still getting these phone calls. It really surprised me because I hadn't received any in probably over a year, year-and-a-half. Thus far I've just maint...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH passed away a few months ago and left me with nothing but his business debt. We lost our home and savings due to his poor business decisions that were made in the cloud of his alcoholism. I had taken out a small life insurance policy through my work, which covered the burial costs and paid a few bills,...

Alea · Alea

Hello - This is my first post in this group. My husband of 10 years is a RAH- he started trying a few years back, had some relapses, but is finally going to AA and appears to be getting something from it- I am relieved and I feel blessed that he is doing this- We have a 2 and 3 year old and they deserve a whole fami...

hope4ever · hope4ever

Last night I was at a meeting and afterwards I was talking to my sponsor - who to be perfectly honest... I really didn't enjoy as a sponsor and we are done with all the steps- I don't really call her because she feels very cold to me and I feel like she has no heart connection and I am very heart centered...not...

Jerry F · Jerry F

made it into Hilo and we get together for a late lunch and memories and "get to know you" conversation. Her husband is a delight to talk with and she found my wife delightful also. It was very very nice because she is one of the first foundation stones in my recovery in the program. I am not a...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi All: Welcoming ESH: I am all ears, here is the latest on my end: early this week AH declares 'Good News! Ready for AA' after a night on the town where he ends up sleeping in car; my reaction is anger, but I do my best to give polite but distanced support ('that sounds very positive for you, I hope you get som...

rehprof · rehprof

The exA was supposed to pick up both kids today...when i arrived home from work, he was walking out the door with only the younger one...saying that the teenager was being difficult so he could just stay home. The exA was ticked off. when I walked in the house, I could see the hurt in the 16yo's eyes. Ever...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So, maybe I shouldn't be so excited or maybe I should? My sister is here & I am so happy! She is so laid back & so not CA! I am so glad that I can see how easy it is to talk to her & that I shouldn't be worried about what I say or think. She "is" my sister after all! What am I worried about; wel...

bellaswan · bellaswan

My husband of 13 years has just realized within the past year he is an alcoholic. I have a ton of questions and don't really have anyone to talk to about this. I've tried to go to a local meeting here but it never works out with my work schedule and our kids. We've been together for 22 years and have two won...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The precarious position of a step-parent (Preview) My 34 year old alcoholic stepson has recently moved in to live with my husband of 20 years and myself. Although he showed huge promise as a youth, alcohol has robbed him of everything. He has no education, no skills, no friends, no family (divorced), no job, no drivers' license, no possessions other...	pennyprincipal	7	491	May 3, 2013 by Jerry F
	A Week of Insanity (Preview) It's only Wednesday and so far . . . My AH showed up to a counseling session with his therapist and his son with a BAC of .14 at 9:30 am. He ran into a car in the parking lot. His therapist had seen it happen and waited to see if he would mention it and when he didn't he confronted him and made him take a breathalyz...	wornoutmrsfixit	12	438	May 3, 2013 by AngieP
	Hating this disease more and more each day!! (Preview) Hi! My computer has been down for a few weeks, but the disease is still alive and well. My grandson, who receives a ss check due a learning disability, turned 18 in March. His a/a mother have been living off these funds for the past 8 yrs. and taking care of her young a/abf with her foodstamps and sec8 h...	Highlyfavored	2	223	May 3, 2013 by Pushka
	So sick of my AGF's chaos (Preview) I know I probably should take some time to lurk a while or read a few stickies so I apologize in advance for jumping the gun. I really need to get some of this out. First of all, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting but I have considered it. I met someone in AA and we hit it off great...	Burses	8	594	May 2, 2013 by hotrod
	talk about breaking my anonymity(funny please read) (Preview) I guess sometimes I have to have a moment. Yesterday I was on the radio after answering a question right. I tried only 8 times & got through. They said my name & where I am from. I guess what I am trying to say is that anyone who knows me who heard it now know my full name--first & last. But, anyhow...	Hoot Nanny	1	264	May 3, 2013 by slogan_jim
	Help with boundaries! Children... (Preview) I am new to the boards here, and i am seeking help and advice. I have a family member who is abusing alcohol and perscription drugs. This person just left their second stint at rehab, this time this person was 'kicked out' of the rehab facility. They lasted less than two weeks. The rehab facility sa...	falconfan00	9	472	May 3, 2013 by Mattie
	Set my boundaries, now what? Adult child dad boundaries help (Preview) Well, I'm 26 years old and am a child of an alcoholic. Actually, it's more like I'm the parent (And I know that's typical for child-adult alcoholic relationships). My parents divorced when I was 4 due to my father's drug/alcohol abuse. My mother's father was an alcoholic (vodka killed him), so my mot...	iviedoodle	2	4625	May 2, 2013 by Mattie
	Overwhelming fear for my son (Preview) I know I need to turn my son(he's 14) over to God. I know that I've only done the best that I can do as a parent. I 'know' these things but still I have fear for his future. He recently overheard some of my conversation with my AH where I told my AH I was tired of his lies and the continued drinking and driving...	ilovedogs	14	522	May 2, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Am a really heartless?? (Preview) I am learning to detach worrywart care of myself. In doing this I am coming off as a "not nice person" . I don't have the patience for drunk neediness and chaos. And I tend to walk away and busy myself a lot. My 7 and 21 yr old see me as cold. I'm trying to learn to detach with love. But obviously am no...	sweeetr	5	429	May 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	Is anyone chairing the al-anon meeting tonight at 9pm? (Preview) I showed up late and I tried to ask who was chairing and got no response in the room. Everyone chatting at once like it was a chatroom of sorts? Maybe this is how it goes now unsure. Thanks	Breakingfree	2	187	May 2, 2013 by Breakingfree
	abreviations (Preview) Hello all - since I'm still new here, can someone please fill me in on what all the abreviations are? I assume that A = alcoholic, and AH might be alcoholic husband...but after that I'm totally lost. Thanks!!!	rookie95	3	416	May 2, 2013 by hotrod
	I did it. (Preview) Without getting into specifics, I not only have a recovering AH, but other family members that get me "crazy" to my very core. Today my phone rang (which was totally predictable because the other person has a responsibility that is always pushed off on someone else) and I didn't answer it...	1976love	9	344	May 2, 2013 by Pushka
	Expectations (Preview) Hi all! I'm still pretty new here, and am wondering how do I manage my expectations? I seem to be having a difficult time with that. My BF has been in rehab since last Wed. He called me for a quick second (from his counselor's office) last Friday, to tell me that he was allowed to have visitors on Sunday....	rookie95	6	395	May 2, 2013 by rookie95
	Mama Bear (Preview) I had a really amazing revelation today in my Al Anon meeting. I was sharing about how I handled the situation with my XAH (still trying to get used to the "STBX" part being gone from my vernacular). I don't have children, except for my furry doggie one, so I've never quite gotten the grasp of t...	blondie99	4	267	May 1, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	the stages of grief (Preview) Hi Everybody: I don't know a lot about the stages of grief, but I remember denial, anger and acceptance and I think that's the correct order? AH has been moving through the 3 of them, and I can only believe that because I am not wavering he is being gently nudged toward acceptance. Yesterday he looked a...	yanksfan51	4	608	May 1, 2013 by DavidG
	Helping vs enabling (Preview) My precious 19 year old son has suffered the effects of his addiction and now the problems are snowballing. He asked for help today (wants to work with me again, especially since his misdomeaner keeps him from getting hired) and he said aid I will help him get his car/suspended license issue worked out...	Katytexasmom	12	763	May 1, 2013 by oldergal
	Not sure what to do (Preview) I hope it is okay to post this here. I am struggling in alanon with a person I really do not click with. She is a long timer and everyone looks up to her. I live in a small area so I can't just switch meetings. I feel like I have tried everything to be able to be her friend. I have asked God, I have really been...	willowtree	5	426	May 1, 2013 by afglin
	Not understanding (Preview) Everything I read says not to try to control or get in the way of his disease. My ah has gone to a doc that prescribed meds to not lose temper etc. but he continues to drink (a lot) So if I try to reinforce the boundary of drinking at home etc I'm wrong. He's gonna drink and I know it. Weather I see it or not. I do my...	sweeetr	5	238	May 1, 2013 by HappyToBe
	19 yr old daughter/pushing for jail (Preview) HI F RIENDS, My daughter got a dui this spring. Just found out they are treatening jail/and pulling her bond. She missed 2 ba,s. ON HER WILD bIRTHDAY WEEKEND. I am upset!! I can not save her I know. I have become responcable for all transportation. Yet have li...	beckon11	6	276	May 1, 2013 by el-cee
	Sleezy is as sleezy does .. (Preview) I just wanted to vent really quick .. so much I will write out and honestly I wind up deleting it before posting it or it winds up as a draft when I go to respond to something else .. lol. Soooo .. I am very grateful that I do think the way I do, .. my atty was pregnant had her baby the second week of this month and I...	Pushka	4	358	May 1, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Soooo happy (Preview) If someone would have told me a couple of years ago that my ABf would be sober and this well I would of laughed. I am also feeling amazing and we both deserve it we go to meetings, conventions work the steps life is so good Hp is blessing us for connecting with him and following his will. My ABF proposed on Sat...	Tracy	5	212	May 1, 2013 by pinkchip
	Visited bf in rehab, not sure how im feeling (Preview) My bf has been in rehab for 5 days (not his first time). I went to visit him yesterday, with my son (age 3), and his parents. I was really looking forward to seeing him, as the last time I saw him was almost a week ago. I'm not really sure how I'm feeling now. Kind of sad, kind of disappointed, but kind of glad as...	rookie95	4	436	May 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Going crazy (Preview) AH stayed in detox 2 days, and they let him go saying he wasn't going through withdrawals. They didn't have a bed open at rehab, so he had to come home. They were going to call him when a spot opened, but he has since opted out of that option. He's drinking again, which I knew he would if he didn't go straight f...	lnc12	7	381	May 1, 2013 by bud
	Ending A Relationship (Preview) This weekend I was forced to face the fact that my significant other of 14 years began using meth again, completely devestating our family. I have a 17 and 14 year old daughters from a previous relationship that he has raised as his own. Before I explain what is going on now I should back up to 2007... He wa...	manor123	3	556	May 1, 2013 by Breakingfree
	divorce frustrations (Preview) I'm in the middle of trying to hurry up the divorce process with my stbxah. I'm so done with this marriage and I just want out as quickly as possible. He was the one who intially started saying he wanted a divorce six months ago and continues to tell me he hates me and can't wait to get me out of his life. I fina...	scaredandconfused	3	389	May 1, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Toxic people (Preview) Hi, a friend of mine sent me an article about 'Toxic people' and I wanted to share the jist of it with everyone. It says that when someone harms us our body's have an involuntary reaction. 'the body's reaction to someone who has harmed you is simply that: the body's reaction, something that happens. You...	el-cee	6	1014	May 1, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Feeling down! (Preview) My life seems to be going well just now. I am getting healthier and fitter, Im even losing weight, I have good friends and a job I love but i cant get this sadness away. I am worried about my son. He is homeless, staying with friends, no home comforts, no room or space of his own, he is miserable, angry and fee...	el-cee	8	357	May 1, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Dont' give up, any day now, hope is around the corner... (Preview) I have been riding a crazy roller coaster with my husbands addiction. I am looking back and see a distirbing pattern of my thinking and wanted some thought. It seems like I always think things are getting better, like his sobriety is so close- any day now. But it never happens. It is just typical addic...	Rinn	10	522	Apr 30, 2013 by PP
	Cross-talk in Alanon... (Preview) Oh, At the moment I am trying to draw a line in our Alanon group. {I am a GR}. Between Alanon and AA. Tough, because the boundaries between Alanon and AA run very deep. Our higher power has a deep and abiding hand in all our affairs, and I find that to be a great strength. The 'no cross-talk rule' has come acr...	DavidG	7	3258	Apr 30, 2013 by Breakingfree
	How to respond (Preview) I haven't been on in a while and things have Noreen going pretty good. I do have a question/dilemma haven't seen covered. The wife has really cut down the drinking a lot. I have not commented on it at all and the less attention seemed to work. She has gone from a large bottle of wine most nights to a smal...	hdftby100	4	303	Apr 30, 2013 by PP
	Here comes the guilt (Preview) Well again tonight my AH sober told me he wants to no now if I will stay married to him when I'm better? Can't tell him that. He wants me to promise this. I can not tell the future and I don't want to give false hope. He told me tonight before he went to work that its going to be hard going to aa meetings now . Wh...	Ms co-dependent	5	568	Apr 30, 2013 by canadianguy
	Not making it easy for me to get better (Preview) How do I heal and move on when the AH 5 months sober will not let me get better want nothing to do with the kids. Does not want to know them he know there his kids but won't get to know them , wont i let me work on a program I just started. Still on step one. Set boundarys easy one . I asked of space and privacy to work...	Ms co-dependent	4	373	Apr 30, 2013 by pinkchip
	it does get better! (Preview) I am so grateful that things can get better if I just get out of the way! I don't have anything to complain about. I have so much more to offer than I ever have. I am blessed beyond belief. I own my home & have plenty of money in the bank. And, to top it off my sister is still here & we are having a lot of fun...	Hoot Nanny	1	286	Apr 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	Minding my own business (Preview) I haven't seen my ABF in three months and last heard from him when he called me from a hospital psych ward. He was in a psych ward because he threatened suicide to a police officer AGAIN. When he called me he told me he missed me, loved and asked if I had any money. LOL There's the real reason for the call. I'm l...	Fool4You	5	454	Apr 30, 2013 by Fool4You
	Adding more broken promises to the large pile. Coping with hope. (Preview) Hi! Totally new here but I'm wondering if anyone can help me. My dad is in his mid 70s and 18 months ago my mum died. She was the light of his life but had been ill for many years (survived 20 years past her life expectancy!) and Dad had been her carer for the last few years. Over the last year or so he's been d...	bewitchedand bloodyannoyed	2	306	Apr 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	Weekend update .. (Preview) And all I can say is it was a weekend and a half, .. I'm emotionally drained on the other hand I feel like I have taken a major step in healing myself. Confirmation was amazing .. my girl looked beautiful, my son looked sharp and yes of course there were hiccups I expected it so I tried to just keep my focus on...	Pushka	6	406	Apr 30, 2013 by Minaret
	Ugh!! Loneliness and Mad At HP (Preview) When I first moved out in August to get away from the craziness of my AH I went to my parents house. I was so homesick but I worked my way through it. I moved into my own apartment in January and was so excited to have my own little place in the world. Fast forward, 3-4 months later and I am so lonely. It is drivin...	wornoutmrsfixit	24	665	Apr 29, 2013 by katfshh
	Back to step one (Preview) Just realizing I'm back to step I again powerless over alcohol I keep forgetting that. My ah keeps flip flopping on our relationship doesn't know what he wants I'm tired of it I am still looking for the sober man he was before he relapsed after 20years sobriety we are married 29 years.Im always falling...	Pipper	4	250	Apr 29, 2013 by Jerry F
	made it through the weekend (Preview) Hi Everyone: Well, the AH again said he will go to AA, really work on his issues, and if he is willing to do this, can he continue to live in the house, even as a tenant?? I say..we had talked about a June 1 moveout anyway, I have no problem with you staying here until then, so by all means I hope AA is right for yo...	yanksfan51	5	356	Apr 29, 2013 by pinkchip
	Letting go of anger (Preview) Hard day today, a month since I walked out with my child and went to a shelter. Now we are back home and my ex has moved to an apt. But I was so angry today at him. Trying hard to keep it in. I am stuck with a huge workload and he came by for his golf clubs. He's got lots of free time because he's out of work. I am s...	forestfairy	9	575	Apr 29, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I screwed up -- what is this about? (Preview) just talking to my exSIL on FB...and letting her know, in a gentle way, that her brother (my exA) is in the wrong... of course her reaction is that "you are both bitter and angry..." Why does her saying that make me want to scream? He hasn't worked in 3 years, is angry and abusive, does NOTHING...	rehprof	18	533	Apr 29, 2013 by Pushka
	Just funny! (Preview) I'd Love to But....-I want to spend more time with my blender.-The man on television told me to say tuned.-It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.-I'm building a pig from a kit.-I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.-There's a disturbance in the Force.-I have to check the freshness da...	John	2	260	Apr 29, 2013 by milkwood
	katfshh message from the mystery board (Preview) katfshh Senior Member Status: OfflinePosts: 245Date: 2h, 46m ago I'm back.ReplyQuoteMore Edit PostDelete PostBan IPReport Spam Hi everyone, I have been such a bad member lately. But, I am back. I have had so many positive things happen in the last 10 months since my AF left! It really is almosst cre...	hotrod	7	460	Apr 29, 2013 by katfshh
	Thinking of Making Some Huge Changes (Preview) I have faced the fact that my marriage of 26 years is broken beyond repair because he doesn't want or doesn't have the willpower to stick to a treatment/abstinence program. I quit a horrible job last month and don't have any prospects of anything on the horizon. I went to the beach last week and there are...	wornoutmrsfixit	17	591	Apr 29, 2013 by Pushka
	signed and gone - from STBXAH to XAH (Preview) XAH came by the house yesterday morning to pick up the rest of his belongings, and my BFF took me to a notary yesterday afternoon to sign the divorce papers. Wow. I never would have thought that 10 years ago when we met that this is where I'd be. I was going to take the papers to the courthouse yesterday, bu...	blondie99	5	453	Apr 29, 2013 by Pushka
	Learning to focus on myself (Preview) I'm slowly learning to focus on myself, to make myself a better person..I'm learning to improve my self confidence. I'm spending time with friends.and I'm laughing again, really laughing and I haven't done that in a long time. I'm learning to surrender the person who my A used to be, and I'm taking car...	phoenixmagicgirl	3	283	Apr 29, 2013 by ilovedogs
	At What point (Preview) do we wake up and then decide to take back our self respect? I do pretty well most of the time but today has been frustrating and I feel like my energy is drained. Dealing with my AH in any way does not work. I can say hello and it is wrong. If I am kind if I am confrontive if I am compassionate or whatever it doe...	souljoy	3	347	Apr 29, 2013 by Jerry F
	Abuse (Preview) I want to start a a new law that allows people to get restraining orders based on emotional abuse. I don't understand why someone needs to be assaulted or threatened to be protected. I know that I have the right to leave, but my children have begged me not to leave our house and our pets. He is in our hous...	imom	5	544	Apr 29, 2013 by pinkchip
	New to Al-anon. Losing mind with alcoholic pot smoking husband...supposedly "sober". (Preview) Hi there, I'm new and feel so lost. My husband admitted to being an alcoholic about six months ago. He was actively involved in AA but then started drinking again. I made him leave the house. we have an 8 year did daughter I am trying to protect. He ended up in detox and was doing well for about six weeks. I r...	Cam0612	4	635	Apr 28, 2013 by Auntyaya
	Hate Mail (Preview) My mom asked me if I could receive personal mail at work. Translation: "I have some hate mail I want to send you that I don't want your AH to read." She's really good at that. Every 2 years or so she writes me a hateful letter, threatens to write me out of her will (I've told her I don't want her $...	NicoleDiver	8	444	Apr 28, 2013 by likemyheart
	New here but not to Al-anon. Need an ear (Preview) Hi, Where to start. My husband has been an alcoholic since 1994. Well, I'm sure he was before that but in the 4 years I knew him before that he wasn't. He didn't start drinking inappropriately until after our oldest child was born in Jan. of that year. I knew nothing about alcoholism or what it looke...	wildrosejmj	4	435	Apr 28, 2013 by wildrosejmj
	Principals... (Preview) This morning I got a phone call from what I'm pretty sure was a collections agency looking for my ex. After almost three years of being divorced, I'm still getting these phone calls. It really surprised me because I hadn't received any in probably over a year, year-and-a-half. Thus far I've just maint...	Aloha	5	237	Apr 28, 2013 by likemyheart
	Miracles Do Happen! (Preview) My AH passed away a few months ago and left me with nothing but his business debt. We lost our home and savings due to his poor business decisions that were made in the cloud of his alcoholism. I had taken out a small life insurance policy through my work, which covered the burial costs and paid a few bills,...	Green Eyes	20	527	Apr 28, 2013 by katfshh
	How do I deal with my anger and resentment? Anger Resentment (Preview) Hello - This is my first post in this group. My husband of 10 years is a RAH- he started trying a few years back, had some relapses, but is finally going to AA and appears to be getting something from it- I am relieved and I feel blessed that he is doing this- We have a 2 and 3 year old and they deserve a whole fami...	Alea	4	8614	Apr 28, 2013 by Jerry F
	an issue that came up, need your thoughts (Preview) Last night I was at a meeting and afterwards I was talking to my sponsor - who to be perfectly honest... I really didn't enjoy as a sponsor and we are done with all the steps- I don't really call her because she feels very cold to me and I feel like she has no heart connection and I am very heart centered...not...	hope4ever	7	484	Apr 28, 2013 by Jerry F
	Former Sponsor (Preview) made it into Hilo and we get together for a late lunch and memories and "get to know you" conversation. Her husband is a delight to talk with and she found my wife delightful also. It was very very nice because she is one of the first foundation stones in my recovery in the program. I am not a...	Jerry F	2	298	Apr 27, 2013 by PP
	update (Preview) Hi All: Welcoming ESH: I am all ears, here is the latest on my end: early this week AH declares 'Good News! Ready for AA' after a night on the town where he ends up sleeping in car; my reaction is anger, but I do my best to give polite but distanced support ('that sounds very positive for you, I hope you get som...	yanksfan51	6	369	Apr 27, 2013 by el-cee
	Conditional Love (Preview) The exA was supposed to pick up both kids today...when i arrived home from work, he was walking out the door with only the younger one...saying that the teenager was being difficult so he could just stay home. The exA was ticked off. when I walked in the house, I could see the hurt in the 16yo's eyes. Ever...	rehprof	5	243	Apr 27, 2013 by norasq
	exciting Post: it is working! (Preview) So, maybe I shouldn't be so excited or maybe I should? My sister is here & I am so happy! She is so laid back & so not CA! I am so glad that I can see how easy it is to talk to her & that I shouldn't be worried about what I say or think. She "is" my sister after all! What am I worried about; wel...	Hoot Nanny	4	261	Apr 27, 2013 by John
	I'm new and need support for sure!! (Preview) My husband of 13 years has just realized within the past year he is an alcoholic. I have a ton of questions and don't really have anyone to talk to about this. I've tried to go to a local meeting here but it never works out with my work schedule and our kids. We've been together for 22 years and have two won...	bellaswan	3	209	Apr 27, 2013 by DavidG
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.