Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

chamoisdog · chamoisdog

My AH has been blind siding me with his toxic, hateful, ugly verbal darts for over 7 yrs now! AND I have had it! These attacks are a result of his evening drinking and can come out of no where. He will often be angry or agitated at something/someone else and lash out at me! I do my best to not engage or fight ba...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

My husband has been sober 17 years until last week. He went to a concert with a friend. I suspected his friend was a pot smoker the night he left. Later I found on the computer topics googled that looked like he was trying to figure out how to pass a drug test after smoking pot. So I confronted him. I asked i...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm over whelmed . My ah will not stop talking. Boundarys are not working I'm fed up . In drained!! My heart is on overdrive . 8 months sober he his . Again in still on step3 . Please stop tossing extra chores for me to do. He not well still and proved it over and over. Then he wants to start reading about the Bou...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Currently I have a woman in my life who just dropped in there in March of this year. I had no idea she was going to be so important. There are so many levels to relating to her. In so many ways she is such a gift because I really do not want to believe I have any character defects. Everyone else has. I don't. To...

deacon · deacon

From what I am hearing, I have to change myself before there will be any solution to my husband's drinking. He had a major drinking problem over thirty years ago and solved it by just quitting drinking altogether. For thirty years, he did not drink at all. About five years ago, he decided that he could dr...

Venera · Venera

How does that happened? Everybody writes here that it is useless to talk to them, untill they are ready they wont do anything. But I am just curious, for those who were ready, how did that happened?

Bettina · Bettina

The famous poet Shelly said, " If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind? No matter how long and bitter winter may be, spring always follows. This is the law of the universe, the joyful law of life. Here's to a joyful and hopeful day! Bettina

Jerry F · Jerry F

for this fixer who couldn't fix himself other than to turn himself over to those who could and would; is the realization of what happens when I turn myself over without fear, anxiety, projection and the other "fear" tools I use to have. While others were trying and doing their part to &qu...

Bettina · Bettina

"It is easy to mistake control and dependency for love. The truth of love, however , is found in our sincerity to act for the happiness and freedom of others." Shin Yatomi

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

When an alcoholic detoxes and has a brief time of not drinking, why do they start again without giving someone the opportunity to help them? Is it because they really don't want to be stopped? On the show Addictions, the host is a former addict and I have heard her say that when you start to use again after...

newgirl17 · newgirl17

The reality of my life is that my husband is an alcoholic and I enabled him all these years. The reality is that he cheated and probably continues to cheat. The reality is that he doesn't love me anymore he probably never did. The reality is in the future we are probably getting divorced. All this is too mu...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

The other day a woman my age in my neigjborhood saw me reading my Alanon book. She asked me about myself, if i am in Alanon. I told her yes. She clearly wanted to talk. Shes had problems. Says she is so social drinker and many times people have said she should go toAlanon . Lost a brother and her ex is a drinker...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My A/D is so angry and trying to make me the bad guy for her situation. When I got home from my f/f meeting today I had a couple of threatening voice mail messages and my grandson had a real serious one on his cell phone. Her MO is to make threatening and terrorist threats when she is angry, I've never know...

neshema2 · neshema2

Today I had a nice talk with my A brother and did not get enmeshed w/him when I saw the signs that he was drinking while on the phone w/me..I said there was someone at the door and we had a loving "see ya later" I did a workout with my weights and my aerobic ball b/c it was a bit too cool to go in the pool...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

Just wanted to say thanks for all of your encouragement to go to a meeting. I went last night. It wasn't easy. But I saw my sponsor and she welcomed me with love and compassion. i was able to tell my most recent circumstances of my hubby's relapse after 17 yrs. and they seemed to think I handled it well. That...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hey Everyone Had a GREAT talk with my older A brother...My favorite one..The one who is nice to me, but sadly, he is a full on alkie He saved his rental, they won't auction off his tools, he scraped up the $$ from friends and jobs and he paid his landlord..We can take a BIG guess why he keeps falling in arrear...

Bettina · Bettina

Revenge is an act of violence because its chief motive is to harm rather then preserve life, and it is often used merely as an outlet for irrational emotions. What can each of us do to prevent falling deeper into the cycle of violence and revenge.?

newgirl17 · newgirl17

I went to a meeting Friday and Saturday and I spent some time alone. I have got a long journey ahead of me. I'm becoming aware of my surroundings and how my husbands disease has effected us all. The question is now that I know all the facts what is my next step? I need to take care of me and work program before m...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I have a little trouble with boundaries, and the guilt that comes when I start enforcing them. It is on big to little things. -everything- but i am managing the big ones and starting to realize that no one deserves to be lied to, abused, or screamed at. However, the little ones.. not so easy..? Maybe b...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I just got a call from my son's landlord. He called the EMT's because my son was not responsive and he feared for him. EMT"S took him so I let go and let God handle it from here. His landlord will also be evicting him soon so I will pray really hard not to interfere with my son's fate. Sad day........

neshema2 · neshema2

I am grateful our site owner, John did not get shot.....Really, John, that was scary I am grateful that brother dearest paid his rent and did not get his stuff auctioned off I am grateful that I got some work tomorrow to earn some $$ I am grateful that my fur babies are all ok I am grateful that my mind is beco...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana...Good morning Family...just about ready to put my feet in my boots and head out to the back steps and then the back/garage door and then across the garage to the car and then start the car and then back out the driveway and point myself toward the street and my business. I'm not...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Today it hit the fan! AD was expecting to get her adult son's ssi check, he turned 18 on 3/1 and put him out in april during one of her rages. She gave him 125.00 of his check, he was staying with friends until last month when I told him to come stay with me if he could follow my rules. He asked me to take him to...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I'm grateful to HP for it. Aloha Ohana...hope you're all doing good and are not too hot. I'm sitting next to an open windown enjoying the breeze blowing off of the Pacific Ocean which is soooo nice. I ain't taunting...seriously...just enjoying a freebee from HP. Got up early this morning and...

Jozie · Jozie

WOW is it a Wake up! I grew in an Alcoholic Home Where My Job was to make everyone "Happy" but myself, and as long as that was done, then life could keep moving forward... My Mom My Codependant: She was the "Worrier" If she worried about it, then again, it was our Job to Give her LESS to...

Jen61 · Jen61

I tried very hard to not say anything but have been thinking of boundaries and thought I would tell him when I thought. I just walked away. Any comment would really help and thanks.

John · John

http://www.wwaytv3.com/2013/06/30/woman-charged-assault-afte...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Please higher power come back and help me out . I love all of al Alon . I'm tired of recapping my ah recovery . I try to keep it in the day starting with me. I'm trying to get over yesterday's actions from him , he surpose to call when showing up this is not a legal seperarion but a a temerary one that was recordme...

neshema2 · neshema2

This August it won't be 12 years, but 11 years inrecovery.....August 02 of 2002 (had to look up my firstever post) was my "take back my life" month andyear...thought it was 12, but oh well, what have I donein 11 years??? I'll never forget it...I was in the depths of despairand this little sh...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hi Everyone It has been 4ever since I have been here..Distractions..Family..Slow work..Backsliding...You name it I figure the only way to get my serenity back is to get back to work on me..Lately I have been having problems concentrating, staying in my body, focusing on the now and I could go on I hav...

Jen61 · Jen61

I am going to a counselor along with the Al-Anon meetings (online and f2f) and reading as much as I can in order to get myself healthy. I have been asked to write down my boundaries, my bottom line, what will add to my recovery, what will take away from my recovery, slogans/affirmations and bring it with...

John · John

I read many of the post tonight and couldn't bring myself to respond to each of them individually. While each person on this forum is valued and truly a member of my chosen family, I too am going through my own struggles, my life feels very topsy turvy, I am going through my own mental aerobics, and my emo...

Venera · Venera

Guys, how do we get a sponsor? I have not gone to a f2f meeting yet, but am planning on online meeting. Is there a way to get an "online sponsor"?

Tasha · Tasha

-- Edited by Tasha on Monday 1st of July 2013 12:12:31 PM

silent · silent

my a just told me that ive kicked him to the curb,ha no I haven't he is still living in my house.i just wont will not let him have s*x with me,cause of sin.i don't know how long this will go on with him he may move out or I dunno I just know I have to keep my self sane and I know not to marry him ,I just wished he would g...

neshema2 · neshema2

-- Edited by neshema2 on Monday 1st of July 2013 11:03:05 AM

Muffin · Muffin

Hi there: I am new to this forum and hope to get some help. I do attend local Alanon meetings when I can, but need some help sometimes when there are no meetings or anyone else to talk to. My husband of 16 years is a major pot head but will also settle for getting shit faced if there are no drugs around. I am a soc...

lluucy · lluucy

I'm new. My Mom passed away a few weeks ago. She always enabled my brother's drinking problem and gave him money. Since her death, my brother is spiraling downward but I don't think I (or anyone else in the family) can help him. My brother has drank for the last 20 years. My adolescent years were a mes...

daisy31 · daisy31

Some things are really coming to the light for me lately. I care way too much if people like me. I worry all the time if I hurt someone's feelings, if they are upset (and if they are upset then I think I did something wrong), I try and make everyone happy, I lose myself in other people alot. Wow, I sound like...

Lyne · Lyne

So I'm crying at the moment. Decided I needed my life preserver which is you guys. It is my mom's 90th bday, and my son won't come to her birthday party because he hates my A. He says he is having back troubles but I don't believe he couldn't drive there with his family and sit down for food and cake. I'm s...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. This weekend is a long weekend in Canada. We have Monday off for Canada day. People get excited for the long weekend. They ring off their plans, have a bunch of fun things lined up, they get all excited for the beautiful weather. Me?...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am doing much better. Many of you helped me to shape a better outlook about my relationship with my best friend. Don't feel anxious anymore, enjoying him and us for how we are. I feel more complete now. Al Anon gives me such options as far as perspectives, and what to weigh. Problem solving is very impo...

neshema2 · neshema2

I was pm'ing w/a nice new friend on here who gave me some really, AS usual, good ES&H thought I woudl share with you all something I learned I just want to stop hurting me w/ accidents and then the anger at my inability to pay attention....I stubbed my toe due to NOT paying attention. Then got angry w/m...

oldergal · oldergal

Those of you with ESH, when you look back what can you say were some of the true signs, life changes that your A was really on his/her way to sobriety? Oldergal

oldergal · oldergal

Here is a helpful post from a private message that I received from an alanon member from a couple of years ago. It has been really helpful to me in all situations in my life.... Expectations are external, boundaries are internal Expectations are what we have with other people, usually after they fail t...

John · John

I live in a duplex on a cul-da-sac that is usually very quiet. However, last night there was some insane stuff going on between a few of my neighbors. A man that lives right next door to my place, in the same duplex, was shot by a woman that lives a few doors down. He was in the street intoxicated with a gro...

rehprof · rehprof

So...my exA is spending a whole 3 separate weeks with the kids while they are off from school. They just returned today from their first week this summer with him. I had been pleased because my ex had arranged for martial arts lessons and piano lessons for my 16 yo and had taken him the past couple of weeks...

wings of a dove · wings of a dove

I'm new here and married to an emotionally abusive AH. He doesn't want help. I am so so tired of this life and if I had wings of a dove I would fly away and be at rest.

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I changed my cell phone number yesterday. That has been the main means of communication from my AH. I had told him earlier that if he even pulls in the parking lot of my apartment, I will call the police and so far he has honored that so I usually get phone calls from him. He recently went through his 3rd hos...

neshema2 · neshema2

I was sitting here, reflecting on the posts and answers to my threads and You all are not going to believe this one...Talk about not feeling worth it I went AWOL on my recovery b/c of 2 things... #1...I got sick of recovery work and wanted to do something ELSE for a change..It felt like a "sentence&q...

neshema2 · neshema2

I have my days where I just CANT focus, can't stay in the now, can't concentrate, mind going faster then my fingers, etc. it shows in my typing when I reverse letters terribly it shows when I do something and mess up and its b/c I am NOT thinking, not paying attention, not in the now, not "present&quo...

eekamouse · eekamouse

Hi, I'm new to all of this and have just located a local meeting that I will be going to on Sunday. I have been dating a guy, in a long distance relationship (200 miles), for a year and a half now. It took awhile because of the infrequency of our seeing each other for me to realize that he is an alcoholic. We h...

KennyFenderjazz · KennyFenderjazz

My wife got an Operating While Intoxicated charge a couple months ago. Today I took a day off work to drive her to the counselors office for an evaluation for the court, shopping while we waited for the court, attorney appointment, hearing, and initial probation meeting. She was told multiple time...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I spent years stuck in an angry place focusing on therapy, meds, and trying to dissect myself and others, figuring out why they did what they did to me when really ill never know why and there's good reason for that...I don't need to know. i found my Solution in literature in another fellowship and I thin...

Aloha · Aloha

I had an opportunity this morning to listen, with complete detachment, to the chaos alcoholism creates in families. I was in my bathroom getting ready to go to work when I heard my neighbor's car door slam, and a guy shout "F**K!!!!" at the top of his lungs. It alarmed me at first. I heard pani...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54211866/alanon-step-7/

Venera · Venera

Can somebody advice on what should a wife do when the AH was drinking for a few days, missed work, household responsibilities, wasted a lot of money. Do we ignore it, do we talk about it, do we act mad or happy. I feel very angry now, but not sure what would be the right approach. Should i just ignore what hap...

newgirl17 · newgirl17

My husband sent me some very ugly texts I didn't respond to any of them. Then he sent me one that said for me to get the 'xxxx' out of his life. So I packed an overnight bag and went to my friends house. Idk what is going on with him but for tonight I don't have to take that treatment from him. I think he is drinkin...

el-cee · el-cee

This forum is such a great tool in recovery but just lately I have become frustrated reading about the pain of living with alcoholism. It has become a bit much reading the same kind of issues over and over. It never ends. If I'm honest I think it's more to do with my own issues with my son. I'm not feeling ve...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everybody: It's been a while since a post, although I have been coming here and learning a ton from all of you, as always. It seems that if I feel a bit unmoored, or down all I have to do is read a bit on these boards and I recognize myself and feelings immediately, it is empowering for sure. It's been abou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Stopping the verbal abuse!! (Preview) My AH has been blind siding me with his toxic, hateful, ugly verbal darts for over 7 yrs now! AND I have had it! These attacks are a result of his evening drinking and can come out of no where. He will often be angry or agitated at something/someone else and lash out at me! I do my best to not engage or fight ba...	chamoisdog	11	403	Jul 4, 2013 by Breakingfree
	husband sober 17yrs relapse (Preview) My husband has been sober 17 years until last week. He went to a concert with a friend. I suspected his friend was a pot smoker the night he left. Later I found on the computer topics googled that looked like he was trying to figure out how to pass a drug test after smoking pot. So I confronted him. I asked i...	nancymom4	17	514	Jul 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	Melt down to much expectations (Preview) I'm over whelmed . My ah will not stop talking. Boundarys are not working I'm fed up . In drained!! My heart is on overdrive . 8 months sober he his . Again in still on step3 . Please stop tossing extra chores for me to do. He not well still and proved it over and over. Then he wants to start reading about the Bou...	Ms co-dependent	6	355	Jul 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	Blaming others (Preview) Currently I have a woman in my life who just dropped in there in March of this year. I had no idea she was going to be so important. There are so many levels to relating to her. In so many ways she is such a gift because I really do not want to believe I have any character defects. Everyone else has. I don't. To...	orchidlover	10	396	Jul 4, 2013 by Debilyn
	I've been to several al anon meetings now but I am really confused (Preview) From what I am hearing, I have to change myself before there will be any solution to my husband's drinking. He had a major drinking problem over thirty years ago and solved it by just quitting drinking altogether. For thirty years, he did not drink at all. About five years ago, he decided that he could dr...	deacon	9	539	Jul 4, 2013 by Debilyn
	Did your A start AA? Or any kind of treatment? (Preview) How does that happened? Everybody writes here that it is useless to talk to them, untill they are ready they wont do anything. But I am just curious, for those who were ready, how did that happened?	Venera	5	346	Jul 4, 2013 by neshema2
	If Winter comes (Preview) The famous poet Shelly said, " If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind? No matter how long and bitter winter may be, spring always follows. This is the law of the universe, the joyful law of life. Here's to a joyful and hopeful day! Bettina	Bettina	4	250	Jul 4, 2013 by Jerry F
	Only one huge consequence... (Preview) for this fixer who couldn't fix himself other than to turn himself over to those who could and would; is the realization of what happens when I turn myself over without fear, anxiety, projection and the other "fear" tools I use to have. While others were trying and doing their part to &qu...	Jerry F	4	240	Jul 4, 2013 by Pushka
	Mistaken for Love! (Preview) "It is easy to mistake control and dependency for love. The truth of love, however , is found in our sincerity to act for the happiness and freedom of others." Shin Yatomi	Bettina	7	509	Jul 4, 2013 by orchidlover
	Opinions Wanted (Preview) When an alcoholic detoxes and has a brief time of not drinking, why do they start again without giving someone the opportunity to help them? Is it because they really don't want to be stopped? On the show Addictions, the host is a former addict and I have heard her say that when you start to use again after...	wornoutmrsfixit	13	373	Jul 3, 2013 by Bettina
	the reality :( (Preview) The reality of my life is that my husband is an alcoholic and I enabled him all these years. The reality is that he cheated and probably continues to cheat. The reality is that he doesn't love me anymore he probably never did. The reality is in the future we are probably getting divorced. All this is too mu...	newgirl17	4	428	Jul 3, 2013 by newgirl17
	Comments welcome about this dilemma! (Preview) The other day a woman my age in my neigjborhood saw me reading my Alanon book. She asked me about myself, if i am in Alanon. I told her yes. She clearly wanted to talk. Shes had problems. Says she is so social drinker and many times people have said she should go toAlanon . Lost a brother and her ex is a drinker...	WorkingThroughIt	11	446	Jul 3, 2013 by pinkchip
	A/D is threatening me and her son! (Preview) My A/D is so angry and trying to make me the bad guy for her situation. When I got home from my f/f meeting today I had a couple of threatening voice mail messages and my grandson had a real serious one on his cell phone. Her MO is to make threatening and terrorist threats when she is angry, I've never know...	Highlyfavored	4	277	Jul 3, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	What did I do to take care of me today??? (Preview) Today I had a nice talk with my A brother and did not get enmeshed w/him when I saw the signs that he was drinking while on the phone w/me..I said there was someone at the door and we had a loving "see ya later" I did a workout with my weights and my aerobic ball b/c it was a bit too cool to go in the pool...	neshema2	4	508	Jul 3, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Went to a meeting last night! (Preview) Just wanted to say thanks for all of your encouragement to go to a meeting. I went last night. It wasn't easy. But I saw my sponsor and she welcomed me with love and compassion. i was able to tell my most recent circumstances of my hubby's relapse after 17 yrs. and they seemed to think I handled it well. That...	nancymom4	5	323	Jul 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	I think we can love our A's if we use BALANCE (Preview) Hey Everyone Had a GREAT talk with my older A brother...My favorite one..The one who is nice to me, but sadly, he is a full on alkie He saved his rental, they won't auction off his tools, he scraped up the $$ from friends and jobs and he paid his landlord..We can take a BIG guess why he keeps falling in arrear...	neshema2	3	285	Jul 3, 2013 by neshema2
	Food for Thought! (Preview) Revenge is an act of violence because its chief motive is to harm rather then preserve life, and it is often used merely as an outlet for irrational emotions. What can each of us do to prevent falling deeper into the cycle of violence and revenge.?	Bettina	5	313	Jul 3, 2013 by neshema2
	becoming aware (Preview) I went to a meeting Friday and Saturday and I spent some time alone. I have got a long journey ahead of me. I'm becoming aware of my surroundings and how my husbands disease has effected us all. The question is now that I know all the facts what is my next step? I need to take care of me and work program before m...	newgirl17	6	324	Jul 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	say what you mean, mean what you say but dont say it mean (Preview) I have a little trouble with boundaries, and the guilt that comes when I start enforcing them. It is on big to little things. -everything- but i am managing the big ones and starting to realize that no one deserves to be lied to, abused, or screamed at. However, the little ones.. not so easy..? Maybe b...	giraffe13	3	656	Jul 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	My son (Preview) I just got a call from my son's landlord. He called the EMT's because my son was not responsive and he feared for him. EMT"S took him so I let go and let God handle it from here. His landlord will also be evicting him soon so I will pray really hard not to interfere with my son's fate. Sad day........	Cathyinaz	28	596	Jul 2, 2013 by Auntyaya
	What am I grateful for today (Preview) I am grateful our site owner, John did not get shot.....Really, John, that was scary I am grateful that brother dearest paid his rent and did not get his stuff auctioned off I am grateful that I got some work tomorrow to earn some $$ I am grateful that my fur babies are all ok I am grateful that my mind is beco...	neshema2	3	200	Jul 2, 2013 by Venera
	H.A.L.T. (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana...Good morning Family...just about ready to put my feet in my boots and head out to the back steps and then the back/garage door and then across the garage to the car and then start the car and then back out the driveway and point myself toward the street and my business. I'm not...	Jerry F	2	252	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	AD on rampage!! (Preview) Today it hit the fan! AD was expecting to get her adult son's ssi check, he turned 18 on 3/1 and put him out in april during one of her rages. She gave him 125.00 of his check, he was staying with friends until last month when I told him to come stay with me if he could follow my rules. He asked me to take him to...	Highlyfavored	4	305	Jul 2, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Got set up this morning.... (Preview) and I'm grateful to HP for it. Aloha Ohana...hope you're all doing good and are not too hot. I'm sitting next to an open windown enjoying the breeze blowing off of the Pacific Ocean which is soooo nice. I ain't taunting...seriously...just enjoying a freebee from HP. Got up early this morning and...	Jerry F	8	483	Jul 2, 2013 by Breakingfree
	When your Old Alcoholic Home Comes back to Bite You! (Preview) WOW is it a Wake up! I grew in an Alcoholic Home Where My Job was to make everyone "Happy" but myself, and as long as that was done, then life could keep moving forward... My Mom My Codependant: She was the "Worrier" If she worried about it, then again, it was our Job to Give her LESS to...	Jozie	4	292	Jul 2, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I just told my AH that I could not be around him when he is drinking. Of course he really is not drinking. (Preview) I tried very hard to not say anything but have been thinking of boundaries and thought I would tell him when I thought. I just walked away. Any comment would really help and thanks.	Jen61	8	334	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	Woke up by News Reporter this morning... (Preview) http://www.wwaytv3.com/2013/06/30/woman-charged-assault-afte...	John	5	303	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	I understand I don't get it (Preview) Please higher power come back and help me out . I love all of al Alon . I'm tired of recapping my ah recovery . I try to keep it in the day starting with me. I'm trying to get over yesterday's actions from him , he surpose to call when showing up this is not a legal seperarion but a a temerary one that was recordme...	Ms co-dependent	7	472	Jul 2, 2013 by Bettina
	What the last 11 yrs. (not 12) has meant to me (Preview) This August it won't be 12 years, but 11 years inrecovery.....August 02 of 2002 (had to look up my firstever post) was my "take back my life" month andyear...thought it was 12, but oh well, what have I donein 11 years??? I'll never forget it...I was in the depths of despairand this little sh...	neshema2	8	358	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	Old timer returning...Need my board (Preview) Hi Everyone It has been 4ever since I have been here..Distractions..Family..Slow work..Backsliding...You name it I figure the only way to get my serenity back is to get back to work on me..Lately I have been having problems concentrating, staying in my body, focusing on the now and I could go on I hav...	neshema2	5	368	Jul 2, 2013 by orchidlover
	Boundaries (Preview) I am going to a counselor along with the Al-Anon meetings (online and f2f) and reading as much as I can in order to get myself healthy. I have been asked to write down my boundaries, my bottom line, what will add to my recovery, what will take away from my recovery, slogans/affirmations and bring it with...	Jen61	5	209	Jul 2, 2013 by orchidlover
	A response to many post.... (Preview) I read many of the post tonight and couldn't bring myself to respond to each of them individually. While each person on this forum is valued and truly a member of my chosen family, I too am going through my own struggles, my life feels very topsy turvy, I am going through my own mental aerobics, and my emo...	John	9	320	Jul 2, 2013 by orchidlover
	Sponsor (Preview) Guys, how do we get a sponsor? I have not gone to a f2f meeting yet, but am planning on online meeting. Is there a way to get an "online sponsor"?	Venera	4	203	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	My Alanon is in rough shape again : ( (Preview) -- Edited by Tasha on Monday 1st of July 2013 12:12:31 PM	Tasha	9	284	Jul 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	me again.so confused and nervous (Preview) my a just told me that ive kicked him to the curb,ha no I haven't he is still living in my house.i just wont will not let him have s*x with me,cause of sin.i don't know how long this will go on with him he may move out or I dunno I just know I have to keep my self sane and I know not to marry him ,I just wished he would g...	silent	4	378	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	I got a GOOD one 4 you guys re: BOUNDARIES (Preview) -- Edited by neshema2 on Monday 1st of July 2013 11:03:05 AM	neshema2	3	483	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	Husband is Alcoholic/Pothead... (Preview) Hi there: I am new to this forum and hope to get some help. I do attend local Alanon meetings when I can, but need some help sometimes when there are no meetings or anyone else to talk to. My husband of 16 years is a major pot head but will also settle for getting shit faced if there are no drugs around. I am a soc...	Muffin	5	759	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	My Mom died (Preview) I'm new. My Mom passed away a few weeks ago. She always enabled my brother's drinking problem and gave him money. Since her death, my brother is spiraling downward but I don't think I (or anyone else in the family) can help him. My brother has drank for the last 20 years. My adolescent years were a mes...	lluucy	13	449	Jul 1, 2013 by nancymom4
	To thine own self be true is a good quote (Preview) Some things are really coming to the light for me lately. I care way too much if people like me. I worry all the time if I hurt someone's feelings, if they are upset (and if they are upset then I think I did something wrong), I try and make everyone happy, I lose myself in other people alot. Wow, I sound like...	daisy31	5	404	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	very screwed up family dynamics (Preview) So I'm crying at the moment. Decided I needed my life preserver which is you guys. It is my mom's 90th bday, and my son won't come to her birthday party because he hates my A. He says he is having back troubles but I don't believe he couldn't drive there with his family and sit down for food and cake. I'm s...	Lyne	6	541	Jul 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Anger toward the alcoholic (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. This weekend is a long weekend in Canada. We have Monday off for Canada day. People get excited for the long weekend. They ring off their plans, have a bunch of fun things lined up, they get all excited for the beautiful weather. Me?...	slogan_jim	19	582	Jun 30, 2013 by grateful2be
	Pictures from Eden and a blab (Preview) I am doing much better. Many of you helped me to shape a better outlook about my relationship with my best friend. Don't feel anxious anymore, enjoying him and us for how we are. I feel more complete now. Al Anon gives me such options as far as perspectives, and what to weigh. Problem solving is very impo...	Debilyn	7	468	Jul 1, 2013 by pineapple
	Got a good idea for those who can't stay grounded (Preview) I was pm'ing w/a nice new friend on here who gave me some really, AS usual, good ES&H thought I woudl share with you all something I learned I just want to stop hurting me w/ accidents and then the anger at my inability to pay attention....I stubbed my toe due to NOT paying attention. Then got angry w/m...	neshema2	4	345	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	What Are Some Telltale Signs That Your A is Getting Sober? (Preview) Those of you with ESH, when you look back what can you say were some of the true signs, life changes that your A was really on his/her way to sobriety? Oldergal	oldergal	8	410	Jul 1, 2013 by pinkchip
	Boundaries and Expectations (Preview) Here is a helpful post from a private message that I received from an alanon member from a couple of years ago. It has been really helpful to me in all situations in my life.... Expectations are external, boundaries are internal Expectations are what we have with other people, usually after they fail t...	oldergal	3	516	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	While writing my post "A response to many post" last night... (Preview) I live in a duplex on a cul-da-sac that is usually very quiet. However, last night there was some insane stuff going on between a few of my neighbors. A man that lives right next door to my place, in the same duplex, was shot by a woman that lives a few doors down. He was in the street intoxicated with a gro...	John	4	257	Jul 1, 2013 by neshema2
	It's hard not to be REALLY angry (Preview) So...my exA is spending a whole 3 separate weeks with the kids while they are off from school. They just returned today from their first week this summer with him. I had been pleased because my ex had arranged for martial arts lessons and piano lessons for my 16 yo and had taken him the past couple of weeks...	rehprof	11	404	Jun 30, 2013 by Mattie
	When do you know it's time to move on (Preview) I'm new here and married to an emotionally abusive AH. He doesn't want help. I am so so tired of this life and if I had wings of a dove I would fly away and be at rest.	wings of a dove	8	458	Jun 30, 2013 by giraffe13
	The Straw That Broke the Camel's Back (Preview) I changed my cell phone number yesterday. That has been the main means of communication from my AH. I had told him earlier that if he even pulls in the parking lot of my apartment, I will call the police and so far he has honored that so I usually get phone calls from him. He recently went through his 3rd hos...	wornoutmrsfixit	9	492	Jun 30, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	DUMBEST confession, but its the truth (Preview) I was sitting here, reflecting on the posts and answers to my threads and You all are not going to believe this one...Talk about not feeling worth it I went AWOL on my recovery b/c of 2 things... #1...I got sick of recovery work and wanted to do something ELSE for a change..It felt like a "sentence&q...	neshema2	5	273	Jun 30, 2013 by DavidG
	Is it me?? Or do some of you do this???? (Preview) I have my days where I just CANT focus, can't stay in the now, can't concentrate, mind going faster then my fingers, etc. it shows in my typing when I reverse letters terribly it shows when I do something and mess up and its b/c I am NOT thinking, not paying attention, not in the now, not "present&quo...	neshema2	18	635	Jun 30, 2013 by neshema2
	I'm new to all of this. About to go to my first meeting but have a question. (Preview) Hi, I'm new to all of this and have just located a local meeting that I will be going to on Sunday. I have been dating a guy, in a long distance relationship (200 miles), for a year and a half now. It took awhile because of the infrequency of our seeing each other for me to realize that he is an alcoholic. We h...	eekamouse	13	262	Jun 29, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	Sorry- need to vent in a big way (Preview) My wife got an Operating While Intoxicated charge a couple months ago. Today I took a day off work to drive her to the counselors office for an evaluation for the court, shopping while we waited for the court, attorney appointment, hearing, and initial probation meeting. She was told multiple time...	KennyFenderjazz	8	530	Jun 29, 2013 by KennyFenderjazz
	Psychology vs Spirituality (Preview) I spent years stuck in an angry place focusing on therapy, meds, and trying to dissect myself and others, figuring out why they did what they did to me when really ill never know why and there's good reason for that...I don't need to know. i found my Solution in literature in another fellowship and I thin...	WorkingThroughIt	4	173	Jun 29, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Alcoholism strikes again (Preview) I had an opportunity this morning to listen, with complete detachment, to the chaos alcoholism creates in families. I was in my bathroom getting ready to go to work when I heard my neighbor's car door slam, and a guy shout "F**K!!!!" at the top of his lungs. It alarmed me at first. I heard pani...	Aloha	3	287	Jun 29, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	STEP 7 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54211866/alanon-step-7/	hotrod	0	654	Jun 29, 2013 by hotrod
	What is a right thing to do after AH stops drinking 5 days (Preview) Can somebody advice on what should a wife do when the AH was drinking for a few days, missed work, household responsibilities, wasted a lot of money. Do we ignore it, do we talk about it, do we act mad or happy. I feel very angry now, but not sure what would be the right approach. Should i just ignore what hap...	Venera	14	523	Jun 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	taking care of me tonight... (Preview) My husband sent me some very ugly texts I didn't respond to any of them. Then he sent me one that said for me to get the 'xxxx' out of his life. So I packed an overnight bag and went to my friends house. Idk what is going on with him but for tonight I don't have to take that treatment from him. I think he is drinkin...	newgirl17	10	373	Jun 29, 2013 by neshema2
	not very alanon (Preview) This forum is such a great tool in recovery but just lately I have become frustrated reading about the pain of living with alcoholism. It has become a bit much reading the same kind of issues over and over. It never ends. If I'm honest I think it's more to do with my own issues with my son. I'm not feeling ve...	el-cee	4	279	Jun 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	update (Preview) Hi Everybody: It's been a while since a post, although I have been coming here and learning a ton from all of you, as always. It seems that if I feel a bit unmoored, or down all I have to do is read a bit on these boards and I recognize myself and feelings immediately, it is empowering for sure. It's been abou...	yanksfan51	7	244	Jun 29, 2013 by Lyne
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.