Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So everything is OK but not great yet! Still struggling w/ recovery from surgery. My eyes seem to be OK but I am still nervous about them--my next appt. is on the 23rd--month post-op on the second surgery. I still feel like I want to touch them when they bother me. I also am struggling w/ washing my hair in t...

callmemara · callmemara

I realize that if I leave it needs to be because I am at my wits end and can't take it anymore and not to try to manipulate or control his behavior. That being said though, part of me thinking about leaving is hoping it does give him incentive. He is often on the cusp, knowing he has a problem then denying it. I...

KLotus · KLotus

I went to pick up my daughter from a supervised evening visit with her (A) father, at his parent's house. With a protection order in place, he is supposed to stay away from me, though I am able to drive to their house to pick up my daughter - so he stays in the house. Last night, he was standing in the drivew...

DavidG · DavidG

the past... my attitudes... one day at a time. I think I came into this forum from another MIP programme... I think mebbe I have some sort of leadership there... I come here for support- and to sort out my loyalty with Alanon. My loyalty has grown a lot... and so has my peace of mind... Lately I went to see...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Went to the Credit Union today after posting on anger. There have been several issues there (and there is no other where the same thing doesn't happen in one way or another in our City) since I became a member that tend to set my teeth on edge as I breathe, feel, wait and practice. My tongue wants out, out...

neshema2 · neshema2

I guess this ??? was just too dumb to get answers... I think I will continue shunning her ------ I remember 4 letters J A D E -- Edited by neshema2 on Friday 5th of July 2013 04:00:16 PM -- Edited by neshema2 on Friday 5th of July 2013 04:01:34 PM

Overcome · Overcome

Sorry I didn't put this on the Chat Room board, but for some reason it won't recognize my password. My laptop is in the shop, which is what holds my scripts, and also how I work around mom's unpredictable Alzheimer's behavior (I am more mobile). I have a desktop in the basement, but if mom is up, I can't log...

Pushka · Pushka

I've been doing pretty good for the most part .. I can tell I missed meetings this week and I am going to look at getting into one tonight, being the 4th I don't know if I will be able to or not. Meaning .. if the meeting is going on being the 4th and all. I have totally kicked my program out of the window at the...

likemyheart · likemyheart

So, I said in a previous post that I lost my keys at the free-for-all fireworks fun last night. What strikes me as amazing is, upon hearing that I couldn't find my keys, my daughter dug in her purse, found a copy of my car key and proclaimed that we could make it home. During the ride home she remarked that ma...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Hi Friends When I try to view this site on a blackberry or on a Nook, I am unable to read the text. It looks like the color scheme for the mobile version has changed, and the text is very light grey on a white background. Has anyone else had this problem?

Pushka · Pushka

Well yesterday pretty much didn't go according to plan on any level. The kids and I made the most of it as we always do. Life is what it is .. with the disappointments can come great joy .. looking for it is part of the gift I want to give my kids. See the good out of the bad and let go of the bad. Today I though...

rehprof · rehprof

Hi MIPers... You know, anger is a normal reaction to being betrayed, lied to, stolen from, etc. Sometimes when folks vent on the board...I sense, just sometimes, people being condescending, as if somehow if you are angry you are not very far along in recovery. I don't think anger is inconsistent with...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My exAH had a lot of the normal A things going on, but he was so good at telling me I had a natural beauty without all the make up and hair do's put on. I am now dating a guy that has let me know he prefers when I am all done up. The funny thing is, he doesn't dress up much and is super casual and it makes me down grade m...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm REALLY excited for Monday (I have court nothing special or new .. LOL) .. I AM excited though as I just found out one of the RA's I know his daughter is starting an Alateen group here in town every Monday night .. I'm over the MOON!!! VERY excited!! My daughter is having a fit about going and I just laugh...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm sitting here at my 'puter reading bleary eyed with my left index finger bandaged and stitched. I posted H.A.L.T. earlier before going to work and made it to work without incident. After I got there I got incident. I was too Angry and Tired and miscued a cut I was doing to some detached ginger sta...

neshema2 · neshema2

Here is wishing that ALL my alanoners, MIP family have a GR8 and fun filled 4th of July Daughter dysfunctional is not speaking to me b/c I won't be mired in her drama and passive aggression, so I'll mosey down a 2 mile drive to the public pool which is lovely and nice people and have some fun and chat w/the...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

My name is Paris and I am a grateful member of Al-anon . The past few weeks I've really been leaning on my HP, and he is guiding me in the right direction. I have been going to many meetings, have talked with my sponsor, and been able to (mostly) control my reactions and take much better care of myself. AH has...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Last Nights topic at the Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG. Wish you all were there. It was a hummer and I am grateful for it cause HP kept prodding me on the important points to listen to with an open mind. It isn't only the poor me feelings. It can be and has been demonstrated thru anger and rage. I...

Venera · Venera

Hello again! Is there a hope that small kids will grow up normal without any dependencies and issues if one parent is normal? My kids are 6 and 8 now, I am starting to work on my co-dependency. We are still living with my AH and we have good times and sometimes my AH locks himself in the room for a few days and d...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I left my AH a week and a half ago. It was more than the alcohol...but I still hope for him a chance at recovery. I understand that I cannot control what he does, it is not my responsibility. I don't want to coerce him into going to AA, but I do want to try to make it easier to reach out. I just don't know...I was...

sportychick · sportychick

Last August we moved from Vancouver Canada back to my home country of Sydney Australia. My qualifier is Canadian. This week my qualifier Husband has had a really bad eye infection. Turns out he has viral conjunctivitis. I have had a hard time showing him compassion because the way he carries on you wo...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I should be happy, its July 4th and I'm at work. I got to spend time with my nephew today which is always fun..he's 1. However all I can think about today are the 'what if my A starts drinking again today?' etc. I've had bad experiences with holidays of any kind many times in the past and as good as the last 4 ye...

newgirl17 · newgirl17

My husband got home drunk. He collapsed in the back room it looked like he wasn't breathing. I got close to him and asked if he was ok i got no response from him. I got concerned and kind of shook him to see if he was conscious or not. He rolled over and slapped me. I said please don't hit me but then he went into a...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I had a good afternoon and evening with my daughter and grandson today. Just a normal day with a trip to a movie, then home to TRY to grill hamburgers (they wouldn't cook up - guess the overpriced pre-lighted charcoals have taught me a lesson) and then TRY to broil them in the oven. It must have taken an h...

Venera · Venera

My AH has been drinking in average one week every 1-2 months. I am due to deliver our third baby in 3 months and need start making plans who is going to come with me and pick me up from the hospital. He wants this baby and when sober is a good husband, unfortunately I have no idea when his next drinking period i...

Venera · Venera

Hi, please share your opinions. I am still new to this and dont know al the answers. I know I need to take care of my own recovery, but some questions come up about the AH as we go. He is in Mexico with his A friend for a week, the excuse to go is to "take care of the house", we are building a house over t...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Last night, I called my son at the place where he's been paroled to stay on tether at the time set by the state to the phone he's been issued that allows only incoming calls. Phone rang 4 times. Picked up. Hung up. Since it is a strange phone system, I called again. He picked up. His words were slurre...

neshema2 · neshema2

I am looking at my happy 4th of July post and I am thinking....OK Yea, I was codep. but I know in my heart I was a good mom....THAT is probably the ONE thing I did NOT screw up on... However, that said, I still presented the program by example to my girls...The older one glommed on to it like a pro...Just tucke...

neshema2 · neshema2

Didn't think I would want to show my face..But I see the handsome and pretty smiling faces at me when I read...Not ashamed of who they are and even proud to be who they are So..Here is a pic of me and my bunny buddy last month...I was in the bathroom, LOL when I took this I am sooo bad taking pics, as a child my si...

Lyne · Lyne

I have heard people say over the years that they think people in recovery get addicted to their meetings. Addiction implies a behavior that is negative that someone repeats over and over again with the same results. So last night in my F2F I shared that I felt alanon is not an addiction for me, but a li...

chamoisdog · chamoisdog

My AH has been blind siding me with his toxic, hateful, ugly verbal darts for over 7 yrs now! AND I have had it! These attacks are a result of his evening drinking and can come out of no where. He will often be angry or agitated at something/someone else and lash out at me! I do my best to not engage or fight ba...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

My husband has been sober 17 years until last week. He went to a concert with a friend. I suspected his friend was a pot smoker the night he left. Later I found on the computer topics googled that looked like he was trying to figure out how to pass a drug test after smoking pot. So I confronted him. I asked i...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

I'm over whelmed . My ah will not stop talking. Boundarys are not working I'm fed up . In drained!! My heart is on overdrive . 8 months sober he his . Again in still on step3 . Please stop tossing extra chores for me to do. He not well still and proved it over and over. Then he wants to start reading about the Bou...

orchidlover · orchidlover

Currently I have a woman in my life who just dropped in there in March of this year. I had no idea she was going to be so important. There are so many levels to relating to her. In so many ways she is such a gift because I really do not want to believe I have any character defects. Everyone else has. I don't. To...

deacon · deacon

From what I am hearing, I have to change myself before there will be any solution to my husband's drinking. He had a major drinking problem over thirty years ago and solved it by just quitting drinking altogether. For thirty years, he did not drink at all. About five years ago, he decided that he could dr...

Venera · Venera

How does that happened? Everybody writes here that it is useless to talk to them, untill they are ready they wont do anything. But I am just curious, for those who were ready, how did that happened?

Bettina · Bettina

The famous poet Shelly said, " If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind? No matter how long and bitter winter may be, spring always follows. This is the law of the universe, the joyful law of life. Here's to a joyful and hopeful day! Bettina

Jerry F · Jerry F

for this fixer who couldn't fix himself other than to turn himself over to those who could and would; is the realization of what happens when I turn myself over without fear, anxiety, projection and the other "fear" tools I use to have. While others were trying and doing their part to &qu...

Bettina · Bettina

"It is easy to mistake control and dependency for love. The truth of love, however , is found in our sincerity to act for the happiness and freedom of others." Shin Yatomi

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

When an alcoholic detoxes and has a brief time of not drinking, why do they start again without giving someone the opportunity to help them? Is it because they really don't want to be stopped? On the show Addictions, the host is a former addict and I have heard her say that when you start to use again after...

newgirl17 · newgirl17

The reality of my life is that my husband is an alcoholic and I enabled him all these years. The reality is that he cheated and probably continues to cheat. The reality is that he doesn't love me anymore he probably never did. The reality is in the future we are probably getting divorced. All this is too mu...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

The other day a woman my age in my neigjborhood saw me reading my Alanon book. She asked me about myself, if i am in Alanon. I told her yes. She clearly wanted to talk. Shes had problems. Says she is so social drinker and many times people have said she should go toAlanon . Lost a brother and her ex is a drinker...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My A/D is so angry and trying to make me the bad guy for her situation. When I got home from my f/f meeting today I had a couple of threatening voice mail messages and my grandson had a real serious one on his cell phone. Her MO is to make threatening and terrorist threats when she is angry, I've never know...

neshema2 · neshema2

Today I had a nice talk with my A brother and did not get enmeshed w/him when I saw the signs that he was drinking while on the phone w/me..I said there was someone at the door and we had a loving "see ya later" I did a workout with my weights and my aerobic ball b/c it was a bit too cool to go in the pool...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

Just wanted to say thanks for all of your encouragement to go to a meeting. I went last night. It wasn't easy. But I saw my sponsor and she welcomed me with love and compassion. i was able to tell my most recent circumstances of my hubby's relapse after 17 yrs. and they seemed to think I handled it well. That...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hey Everyone Had a GREAT talk with my older A brother...My favorite one..The one who is nice to me, but sadly, he is a full on alkie He saved his rental, they won't auction off his tools, he scraped up the $$ from friends and jobs and he paid his landlord..We can take a BIG guess why he keeps falling in arrear...

Bettina · Bettina

Revenge is an act of violence because its chief motive is to harm rather then preserve life, and it is often used merely as an outlet for irrational emotions. What can each of us do to prevent falling deeper into the cycle of violence and revenge.?

newgirl17 · newgirl17

I went to a meeting Friday and Saturday and I spent some time alone. I have got a long journey ahead of me. I'm becoming aware of my surroundings and how my husbands disease has effected us all. The question is now that I know all the facts what is my next step? I need to take care of me and work program before m...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I have a little trouble with boundaries, and the guilt that comes when I start enforcing them. It is on big to little things. -everything- but i am managing the big ones and starting to realize that no one deserves to be lied to, abused, or screamed at. However, the little ones.. not so easy..? Maybe b...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I just got a call from my son's landlord. He called the EMT's because my son was not responsive and he feared for him. EMT"S took him so I let go and let God handle it from here. His landlord will also be evicting him soon so I will pray really hard not to interfere with my son's fate. Sad day........

neshema2 · neshema2

I am grateful our site owner, John did not get shot.....Really, John, that was scary I am grateful that brother dearest paid his rent and did not get his stuff auctioned off I am grateful that I got some work tomorrow to earn some $$ I am grateful that my fur babies are all ok I am grateful that my mind is beco...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana...Good morning Family...just about ready to put my feet in my boots and head out to the back steps and then the back/garage door and then across the garage to the car and then start the car and then back out the driveway and point myself toward the street and my business. I'm not...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Today it hit the fan! AD was expecting to get her adult son's ssi check, he turned 18 on 3/1 and put him out in april during one of her rages. She gave him 125.00 of his check, he was staying with friends until last month when I told him to come stay with me if he could follow my rules. He asked me to take him to...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I'm grateful to HP for it. Aloha Ohana...hope you're all doing good and are not too hot. I'm sitting next to an open windown enjoying the breeze blowing off of the Pacific Ocean which is soooo nice. I ain't taunting...seriously...just enjoying a freebee from HP. Got up early this morning and...

Jozie · Jozie

WOW is it a Wake up! I grew in an Alcoholic Home Where My Job was to make everyone "Happy" but myself, and as long as that was done, then life could keep moving forward... My Mom My Codependant: She was the "Worrier" If she worried about it, then again, it was our Job to Give her LESS to...

Jen61 · Jen61

I tried very hard to not say anything but have been thinking of boundaries and thought I would tell him when I thought. I just walked away. Any comment would really help and thanks.

John · John

http://www.wwaytv3.com/2013/06/30/woman-charged-assault-afte...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Please higher power come back and help me out . I love all of al Alon . I'm tired of recapping my ah recovery . I try to keep it in the day starting with me. I'm trying to get over yesterday's actions from him , he surpose to call when showing up this is not a legal seperarion but a a temerary one that was recordme...

neshema2 · neshema2

This August it won't be 12 years, but 11 years inrecovery.....August 02 of 2002 (had to look up my firstever post) was my "take back my life" month andyear...thought it was 12, but oh well, what have I donein 11 years??? I'll never forget it...I was in the depths of despairand this little sh...

neshema2 · neshema2

Hi Everyone It has been 4ever since I have been here..Distractions..Family..Slow work..Backsliding...You name it I figure the only way to get my serenity back is to get back to work on me..Lately I have been having problems concentrating, staying in my body, focusing on the now and I could go on I hav...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	everything is OK (Preview) So everything is OK but not great yet! Still struggling w/ recovery from surgery. My eyes seem to be OK but I am still nervous about them--my next appt. is on the 23rd--month post-op on the second surgery. I still feel like I want to touch them when they bother me. I also am struggling w/ washing my hair in t...	Hoot Nanny	4	352	Jul 7, 2013 by neshema2
	Should I stay or should I go now? (Preview) I realize that if I leave it needs to be because I am at my wits end and can't take it anymore and not to try to manipulate or control his behavior. That being said though, part of me thinking about leaving is hoping it does give him incentive. He is often on the cusp, knowing he has a problem then denying it. I...	callmemara	10	497	Jul 7, 2013 by neshema2
	Sighting (Preview) I went to pick up my daughter from a supervised evening visit with her (A) father, at his parent's house. With a protection order in place, he is supposed to stay away from me, though I am able to drive to their house to pick up my daughter - so he stays in the house. Last night, he was standing in the drivew...	KLotus	14	354	Jul 7, 2013 by KLotus
	The things I cannot change... (Preview) the past... my attitudes... one day at a time. I think I came into this forum from another MIP programme... I think mebbe I have some sort of leadership there... I come here for support- and to sort out my loyalty with Alanon. My loyalty has grown a lot... and so has my peace of mind... Lately I went to see...	DavidG	13	549	Jul 6, 2013 by DavidG
	Customer service, lies, patience and practice (Preview) Went to the Credit Union today after posting on anger. There have been several issues there (and there is no other where the same thing doesn't happen in one way or another in our City) since I became a member that tend to set my teeth on edge as I breathe, feel, wait and practice. My tongue wants out, out...	grateful2be	12	371	Jul 6, 2013 by grateful2be
	my post and ?? was too dumb....I deleted it (Preview) I guess this ??? was just too dumb to get answers... I think I will continue shunning her ------ I remember 4 letters J A D E -- Edited by neshema2 on Friday 5th of July 2013 04:00:16 PM -- Edited by neshema2 on Friday 5th of July 2013 04:01:34 PM	neshema2	11	413	Jul 6, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Need Sunday chair substitute (Preview) Sorry I didn't put this on the Chat Room board, but for some reason it won't recognize my password. My laptop is in the shop, which is what holds my scripts, and also how I work around mom's unpredictable Alzheimer's behavior (I am more mobile). I have a desktop in the basement, but if mom is up, I can't log...	Overcome	1	215	Jul 6, 2013 by grateful2be
	And so it begins (vent) (Preview) I've been doing pretty good for the most part .. I can tell I missed meetings this week and I am going to look at getting into one tonight, being the 4th I don't know if I will be able to or not. Meaning .. if the meeting is going on being the 4th and all. I have totally kicked my program out of the window at the...	Pushka	12	2011	Jul 6, 2013 by Pushka
	lost keys and Zen thinking (Preview) So, I said in a previous post that I lost my keys at the free-for-all fireworks fun last night. What strikes me as amazing is, upon hearing that I couldn't find my keys, my daughter dug in her purse, found a copy of my car key and proclaimed that we could make it home. During the ride home she remarked that ma...	likemyheart	2	312	Jul 6, 2013 by hotrod
	Mobile Site Question (Preview) Hi Friends When I try to view this site on a blackberry or on a Nook, I am unable to read the text. It looks like the color scheme for the mobile version has changed, and the text is very light grey on a white background. Has anyone else had this problem?	ParisMemories	6	231	Jul 6, 2013 by Pushka
	My weekend plans (Preview) Well yesterday pretty much didn't go according to plan on any level. The kids and I made the most of it as we always do. Life is what it is .. with the disappointments can come great joy .. looking for it is part of the gift I want to give my kids. See the good out of the bad and let go of the bad. Today I though...	Pushka	1	276	Jul 6, 2013 by neshema2
	Anger is Normal (Preview) Hi MIPers... You know, anger is a normal reaction to being betrayed, lied to, stolen from, etc. Sometimes when folks vent on the board...I sense, just sometimes, people being condescending, as if somehow if you are angry you are not very far along in recovery. I don't think anger is inconsistent with...	rehprof	17	462	Jul 6, 2013 by Lyne
	No make up or up do and I am still beautiful (Preview) My exAH had a lot of the normal A things going on, but he was so good at telling me I had a natural beauty without all the make up and hair do's put on. I am now dating a guy that has let me know he prefers when I am all done up. The funny thing is, he doesn't dress up much and is super casual and it makes me down grade m...	Breakingfree	15	487	Jul 6, 2013 by neshema2
	Kids :) (Preview) I'm REALLY excited for Monday (I have court nothing special or new .. LOL) .. I AM excited though as I just found out one of the RA's I know his daughter is starting an Alateen group here in town every Monday night .. I'm over the MOON!!! VERY excited!! My daughter is having a fit about going and I just laugh...	Pushka	4	244	Jul 6, 2013 by hotrod
	OK...H.A.L.T...reviewed... (Preview) I'm sitting here at my 'puter reading bleary eyed with my left index finger bandaged and stitched. I posted H.A.L.T. earlier before going to work and made it to work without incident. After I got there I got incident. I was too Angry and Tired and miscued a cut I was doing to some detached ginger sta...	Jerry F	9	450	Jul 5, 2013 by ParisMemories
	HAPPY 4TH OF JULY MY ALANONERS........ (Preview) Here is wishing that ALL my alanoners, MIP family have a GR8 and fun filled 4th of July Daughter dysfunctional is not speaking to me b/c I won't be mired in her drama and passive aggression, so I'll mosey down a 2 mile drive to the public pool which is lovely and nice people and have some fun and chat w/the...	neshema2	4	298	Jul 5, 2013 by waveofhealing
	Recovery a day at a time (Preview) My name is Paris and I am a grateful member of Al-anon . The past few weeks I've really been leaning on my HP, and he is guiding me in the right direction. I have been going to many meetings, have talked with my sponsor, and been able to (mostly) control my reactions and take much better care of myself. AH has...	ParisMemories	2	278	Jul 5, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Self Pity ... (Preview) Last Nights topic at the Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG. Wish you all were there. It was a hummer and I am grateful for it cause HP kept prodding me on the important points to listen to with an open mind. It isn't only the poor me feelings. It can be and has been demonstrated thru anger and rage. I...	Jerry F	8	518	Jul 5, 2013 by canadianguy
	Small children (Preview) Hello again! Is there a hope that small kids will grow up normal without any dependencies and issues if one parent is normal? My kids are 6 and 8 now, I am starting to work on my co-dependency. We are still living with my AH and we have good times and sometimes my AH locks himself in the room for a few days and d...	Venera	15	889	Jul 5, 2013 by unsureoffuture
	I left but I hope for help for my AH (Preview) I left my AH a week and a half ago. It was more than the alcohol...but I still hope for him a chance at recovery. I understand that I cannot control what he does, it is not my responsibility. I don't want to coerce him into going to AA, but I do want to try to make it easier to reach out. I just don't know...I was...	sadsusie	12	479	Jul 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	The family disease. (Preview) Last August we moved from Vancouver Canada back to my home country of Sydney Australia. My qualifier is Canadian. This week my qualifier Husband has had a really bad eye infection. Turns out he has viral conjunctivitis. I have had a hard time showing him compassion because the way he carries on you wo...	sportychick	4	381	Jul 5, 2013 by sportychick
	In a bad head space right now (Preview) I should be happy, its July 4th and I'm at work. I got to spend time with my nephew today which is always fun..he's 1. However all I can think about today are the 'what if my A starts drinking again today?' etc. I've had bad experiences with holidays of any kind many times in the past and as good as the last 4 ye...	phoenixmagicgirl	4	325	Jul 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	I had to leave... (Preview) My husband got home drunk. He collapsed in the back room it looked like he wasn't breathing. I got close to him and asked if he was ok i got no response from him. I got concerned and kind of shook him to see if he was conscious or not. He rolled over and slapped me. I said please don't hit me but then he went into a...	newgirl17	16	589	Jul 5, 2013 by sadsusie
	My day. My learnings. My gratitude. (Preview) I had a good afternoon and evening with my daughter and grandson today. Just a normal day with a trip to a movie, then home to TRY to grill hamburgers (they wouldn't cook up - guess the overpriced pre-lighted charcoals have taught me a lesson) and then TRY to broil them in the oven. It must have taken an h...	grateful2be	4	256	Jul 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	How to plan for delivery of a new baby? (Preview) My AH has been drinking in average one week every 1-2 months. I am due to deliver our third baby in 3 months and need start making plans who is going to come with me and pick me up from the hospital. He wants this baby and when sober is a good husband, unfortunately I have no idea when his next drinking period i...	Venera	11	378	Jul 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	Confront or ignore? (Preview) Hi, please share your opinions. I am still new to this and dont know al the answers. I know I need to take care of my own recovery, but some questions come up about the AH as we go. He is in Mexico with his A friend for a week, the excuse to go is to "take care of the house", we are building a house over t...	Venera	17	838	Jul 5, 2013 by neshema2
	Nature, my son, and poetry rephrased (Preview) Last night, I called my son at the place where he's been paroled to stay on tether at the time set by the state to the phone he's been issued that allows only incoming calls. Phone rang 4 times. Picked up. Hung up. Since it is a strange phone system, I called again. He picked up. His words were slurre...	grateful2be	5	401	Jul 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	Alanon and our children (Preview) I am looking at my happy 4th of July post and I am thinking....OK Yea, I was codep. but I know in my heart I was a good mom....THAT is probably the ONE thing I did NOT screw up on... However, that said, I still presented the program by example to my girls...The older one glommed on to it like a pro...Just tucke...	neshema2	4	304	Jul 4, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Never thought I would do THIS---But you guys inspire me (Preview) Didn't think I would want to show my face..But I see the handsome and pretty smiling faces at me when I read...Not ashamed of who they are and even proud to be who they are So..Here is a pic of me and my bunny buddy last month...I was in the bathroom, LOL when I took this I am sooo bad taking pics, as a child my si...	neshema2	4	266	Jul 4, 2013 by hotrod
	addicted to alanon? (Preview) I have heard people say over the years that they think people in recovery get addicted to their meetings. Addiction implies a behavior that is negative that someone repeats over and over again with the same results. So last night in my F2F I shared that I felt alanon is not an addiction for me, but a li...	Lyne	6	872	Jul 4, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Stopping the verbal abuse!! (Preview) My AH has been blind siding me with his toxic, hateful, ugly verbal darts for over 7 yrs now! AND I have had it! These attacks are a result of his evening drinking and can come out of no where. He will often be angry or agitated at something/someone else and lash out at me! I do my best to not engage or fight ba...	chamoisdog	11	443	Jul 4, 2013 by Breakingfree
	husband sober 17yrs relapse (Preview) My husband has been sober 17 years until last week. He went to a concert with a friend. I suspected his friend was a pot smoker the night he left. Later I found on the computer topics googled that looked like he was trying to figure out how to pass a drug test after smoking pot. So I confronted him. I asked i...	nancymom4	17	549	Jul 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	Melt down to much expectations (Preview) I'm over whelmed . My ah will not stop talking. Boundarys are not working I'm fed up . In drained!! My heart is on overdrive . 8 months sober he his . Again in still on step3 . Please stop tossing extra chores for me to do. He not well still and proved it over and over. Then he wants to start reading about the Bou...	Ms co-dependent	6	411	Jul 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	Blaming others (Preview) Currently I have a woman in my life who just dropped in there in March of this year. I had no idea she was going to be so important. There are so many levels to relating to her. In so many ways she is such a gift because I really do not want to believe I have any character defects. Everyone else has. I don't. To...	orchidlover	10	429	Jul 4, 2013 by Debilyn
	I've been to several al anon meetings now but I am really confused (Preview) From what I am hearing, I have to change myself before there will be any solution to my husband's drinking. He had a major drinking problem over thirty years ago and solved it by just quitting drinking altogether. For thirty years, he did not drink at all. About five years ago, he decided that he could dr...	deacon	9	576	Jul 4, 2013 by Debilyn
	Did your A start AA? Or any kind of treatment? (Preview) How does that happened? Everybody writes here that it is useless to talk to them, untill they are ready they wont do anything. But I am just curious, for those who were ready, how did that happened?	Venera	5	416	Jul 4, 2013 by neshema2
	If Winter comes (Preview) The famous poet Shelly said, " If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind? No matter how long and bitter winter may be, spring always follows. This is the law of the universe, the joyful law of life. Here's to a joyful and hopeful day! Bettina	Bettina	4	282	Jul 4, 2013 by Jerry F
	Only one huge consequence... (Preview) for this fixer who couldn't fix himself other than to turn himself over to those who could and would; is the realization of what happens when I turn myself over without fear, anxiety, projection and the other "fear" tools I use to have. While others were trying and doing their part to &qu...	Jerry F	4	273	Jul 4, 2013 by Pushka
	Mistaken for Love! (Preview) "It is easy to mistake control and dependency for love. The truth of love, however , is found in our sincerity to act for the happiness and freedom of others." Shin Yatomi	Bettina	7	542	Jul 4, 2013 by orchidlover
	Opinions Wanted (Preview) When an alcoholic detoxes and has a brief time of not drinking, why do they start again without giving someone the opportunity to help them? Is it because they really don't want to be stopped? On the show Addictions, the host is a former addict and I have heard her say that when you start to use again after...	wornoutmrsfixit	13	409	Jul 3, 2013 by Bettina
	the reality :( (Preview) The reality of my life is that my husband is an alcoholic and I enabled him all these years. The reality is that he cheated and probably continues to cheat. The reality is that he doesn't love me anymore he probably never did. The reality is in the future we are probably getting divorced. All this is too mu...	newgirl17	4	460	Jul 3, 2013 by newgirl17
	Comments welcome about this dilemma! (Preview) The other day a woman my age in my neigjborhood saw me reading my Alanon book. She asked me about myself, if i am in Alanon. I told her yes. She clearly wanted to talk. Shes had problems. Says she is so social drinker and many times people have said she should go toAlanon . Lost a brother and her ex is a drinker...	WorkingThroughIt	11	481	Jul 3, 2013 by pinkchip
	A/D is threatening me and her son! (Preview) My A/D is so angry and trying to make me the bad guy for her situation. When I got home from my f/f meeting today I had a couple of threatening voice mail messages and my grandson had a real serious one on his cell phone. Her MO is to make threatening and terrorist threats when she is angry, I've never know...	Highlyfavored	4	313	Jul 3, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	What did I do to take care of me today??? (Preview) Today I had a nice talk with my A brother and did not get enmeshed w/him when I saw the signs that he was drinking while on the phone w/me..I said there was someone at the door and we had a loving "see ya later" I did a workout with my weights and my aerobic ball b/c it was a bit too cool to go in the pool...	neshema2	4	542	Jul 3, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Went to a meeting last night! (Preview) Just wanted to say thanks for all of your encouragement to go to a meeting. I went last night. It wasn't easy. But I saw my sponsor and she welcomed me with love and compassion. i was able to tell my most recent circumstances of my hubby's relapse after 17 yrs. and they seemed to think I handled it well. That...	nancymom4	5	359	Jul 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	I think we can love our A's if we use BALANCE (Preview) Hey Everyone Had a GREAT talk with my older A brother...My favorite one..The one who is nice to me, but sadly, he is a full on alkie He saved his rental, they won't auction off his tools, he scraped up the $$ from friends and jobs and he paid his landlord..We can take a BIG guess why he keeps falling in arrear...	neshema2	3	321	Jul 3, 2013 by neshema2
	Food for Thought! (Preview) Revenge is an act of violence because its chief motive is to harm rather then preserve life, and it is often used merely as an outlet for irrational emotions. What can each of us do to prevent falling deeper into the cycle of violence and revenge.?	Bettina	5	346	Jul 3, 2013 by neshema2
	becoming aware (Preview) I went to a meeting Friday and Saturday and I spent some time alone. I have got a long journey ahead of me. I'm becoming aware of my surroundings and how my husbands disease has effected us all. The question is now that I know all the facts what is my next step? I need to take care of me and work program before m...	newgirl17	6	358	Jul 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	say what you mean, mean what you say but dont say it mean (Preview) I have a little trouble with boundaries, and the guilt that comes when I start enforcing them. It is on big to little things. -everything- but i am managing the big ones and starting to realize that no one deserves to be lied to, abused, or screamed at. However, the little ones.. not so easy..? Maybe b...	giraffe13	3	698	Jul 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	My son (Preview) I just got a call from my son's landlord. He called the EMT's because my son was not responsive and he feared for him. EMT"S took him so I let go and let God handle it from here. His landlord will also be evicting him soon so I will pray really hard not to interfere with my son's fate. Sad day........	Cathyinaz	28	628	Jul 2, 2013 by Auntyaya
	What am I grateful for today (Preview) I am grateful our site owner, John did not get shot.....Really, John, that was scary I am grateful that brother dearest paid his rent and did not get his stuff auctioned off I am grateful that I got some work tomorrow to earn some $$ I am grateful that my fur babies are all ok I am grateful that my mind is beco...	neshema2	3	234	Jul 2, 2013 by Venera
	H.A.L.T. (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana...Good morning Family...just about ready to put my feet in my boots and head out to the back steps and then the back/garage door and then across the garage to the car and then start the car and then back out the driveway and point myself toward the street and my business. I'm not...	Jerry F	2	285	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	AD on rampage!! (Preview) Today it hit the fan! AD was expecting to get her adult son's ssi check, he turned 18 on 3/1 and put him out in april during one of her rages. She gave him 125.00 of his check, he was staying with friends until last month when I told him to come stay with me if he could follow my rules. He asked me to take him to...	Highlyfavored	4	340	Jul 2, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Got set up this morning.... (Preview) and I'm grateful to HP for it. Aloha Ohana...hope you're all doing good and are not too hot. I'm sitting next to an open windown enjoying the breeze blowing off of the Pacific Ocean which is soooo nice. I ain't taunting...seriously...just enjoying a freebee from HP. Got up early this morning and...	Jerry F	8	518	Jul 2, 2013 by Breakingfree
	When your Old Alcoholic Home Comes back to Bite You! (Preview) WOW is it a Wake up! I grew in an Alcoholic Home Where My Job was to make everyone "Happy" but myself, and as long as that was done, then life could keep moving forward... My Mom My Codependant: She was the "Worrier" If she worried about it, then again, it was our Job to Give her LESS to...	Jozie	4	331	Jul 2, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I just told my AH that I could not be around him when he is drinking. Of course he really is not drinking. (Preview) I tried very hard to not say anything but have been thinking of boundaries and thought I would tell him when I thought. I just walked away. Any comment would really help and thanks.	Jen61	8	370	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	Woke up by News Reporter this morning... (Preview) http://www.wwaytv3.com/2013/06/30/woman-charged-assault-afte...	John	5	335	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	I understand I don't get it (Preview) Please higher power come back and help me out . I love all of al Alon . I'm tired of recapping my ah recovery . I try to keep it in the day starting with me. I'm trying to get over yesterday's actions from him , he surpose to call when showing up this is not a legal seperarion but a a temerary one that was recordme...	Ms co-dependent	7	534	Jul 2, 2013 by Bettina
	What the last 11 yrs. (not 12) has meant to me (Preview) This August it won't be 12 years, but 11 years inrecovery.....August 02 of 2002 (had to look up my firstever post) was my "take back my life" month andyear...thought it was 12, but oh well, what have I donein 11 years??? I'll never forget it...I was in the depths of despairand this little sh...	neshema2	8	392	Jul 2, 2013 by neshema2
	Old timer returning...Need my board (Preview) Hi Everyone It has been 4ever since I have been here..Distractions..Family..Slow work..Backsliding...You name it I figure the only way to get my serenity back is to get back to work on me..Lately I have been having problems concentrating, staying in my body, focusing on the now and I could go on I hav...	neshema2	5	401	Jul 2, 2013 by orchidlover
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.