Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

My days off have been seemingly uneventful and my judgemental side would say "wasted." Laundry didn't get done. The floors are still dirty. The vacuum is still broke; ABF didn't try to fix it as he'd promised, and I didn't stress over it. It's getting cold and the thermostat for the heater i...

Venera · Venera

I lost all my temper today, I yelled at my AH like a crazy person, and he kept calmly telling me that I am crazy, and other mean things like i am cheap, vulgar, etc.. I was going really wild, i feel bad for doing it to myself, but i feel a relief. But i felt trapped again, i cant sleep in my own bed again, and i am t...

angellerose · angellerose

Thank you to those who responded to my question. I really appreciate everything that you have said, and am taking it and applying it to my life. It really means a whole lot to me. I was able to resonate with a lot of the things that were shared. I have attended one alanon meeting, I was feeling quite despera...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I am smart . I feel healthy . I'm trying my best . We can't turn the heat up because of the spouse not working. Comes upstairs and want to fight about I'm lazy I best get a Job I'm again non supported wife I am now a self Alaon loser . Sent me mutiple texts and when did not answer them he threaten to break door down...

ryanhearted · ryanhearted

Well, yes, again. My AH cant seem to do anything with others from his work. I realize that he tried and succeeded in not drinking at the beginning of the month when he went to science camp with his coworkers, but this one night seminar this weekend was just too much I guess. My concern is that he drove with o...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I really wish I had more time to reflect & read more posts. I seem to run out of time before I am truly done. I am still a work in progress. You are all important to me & I value each soul who gets on here. I guess I am a little bit anxious. Maybe it is because I run out of time. I am so sorry that I can't alway...

neshema2 · neshema2

WEll, I have been trying to make amends with/ re-connect wmy Higher Power....or more truthfully connect w/him, really, intimately, for the FIRST time...since then, the step 3, thing, I have been under MAJOR attack.....satan is creating havoc in my life...When i told HP I do NOT WANT TO BE AGNOSTIC A...

Venera · Venera

Please somebody help me! What can I do now? My husband left on sunday to a hotel where he was going to drink after drinking on Saturday. He ususally takes 5 days drinking and then starts functioning again. Saturday night he was watching tv till 4 am, i couldnt sleep, I have a 3 week old baby which i have to fe...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

MIPers, I could really use some encouragement to LIVE (and let live!). My partner is extraordinarily busy with full-time work and part-time school and I am finding myself at loose ends. And, by loose ends, I mean bored, frustrated (with her schedule), and resentful. It has been very hard for me not t...

neshema2 · neshema2

I read that post....I could see my pain all over the place..... I edited it so as to be more "generic" re: the HP thingy....i was NOT doing a proseletize job on anyone on the original....I was just crying out.....those of you who replied to my apology to the board post, I sooo appreciate you, a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi all You know a little about my lazy SO and me doing everything in regards to the home. Well one of the things I stopped doing about 4 months ago was cleaning the office. I don't use it much so I decided it was his mess and he can clean it..or not...he uses it all the time. Well this weekend I guess he hit HI...

mongowal · mongowal

Breakthrough with my recovery today. My AH (who moved out a month ago) called yesterday to ask me where the truck registration tags were as his had expired in July. I kindly reminded him that I had given him the tags and new registration back in August and I'm not sure where it is, but I will look around...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

Hello everyone. Just sharing. I took a break this weekend, didnt go anywhere other than outside my head. A break from Al Anon, reading, important talks, things like that. Tom and I had a wonderful - wonderful weekend. I let the worries and stress go and somehow told myself everything is normal, it is t...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Well, I'm living with my parents and niece (and her two month old) for the moment. Got a new job. My brothers children came over today and played with my children. I was very calm and peachy keen until I took a break in a room. I then heard my niece say " ...are a pain, especially Abram". She w...

neshema2 · neshema2

Step 3 progress update Its kinda nice to sit, breathe, meditate , first give thanks to HP for what IS correct in my life and to petition not just for me but for all who are struggling w/something...be it health, finances, family stuff, whatever, pain is pain and the steady "drip" i was getti...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

My husband and I are behind on our mortgage by 2 payments for quite a while now. Over a year. The bank wants us to modify our loan and stretch it out for 40 years. We have less than 10 years to pay it off. We will be in our 90's!!!! We can pay every month but it is difficult to pay the back payments. We have done fin...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My son has 3 good friends over for his birthday right now. We're going to a concert in an hour or so and they're having pizza and cake in a bit. My AH is 'resting' in the bedroom, he's been in there for the past 3 hours. He has not come out to greet our son's friends. The boys probably don't even realize he'...

angellerose · angellerose

Hello, all! Background story (if you'd care to read):I've never been on here before, but I needed some advice so I figured I'm come on here. Growing up, I knew that my dad was an alcoholic, but things weren't so bad because he would stay sober for many years, and then maybe every 3 or 4 years or so (maybe mor...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well it's Sunday and it's ALAON night yeah!!!! It's my face to face meeting . My children say mom why are you so happy your going to a meeting ? Dad hates his meetings! This is true it's become a chore for him he not happy when he leaves and not happy when he returns . My meetings are my only night I get out...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

Just wanted to say thanks to all who have responded to the few posts I have done. I am somewhat new here. But since I am not always able to get to my meetings with running my teen around, this place of Al-anon friends is such a comfort to me. Thanks for listening and responding. Sometimes we don't need great...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well I decided to change my name and start over. Today I am grateful I'm alive and healthy and my AH is SOBER. I'm grateful for my children and grateful for taking action on my life and turn my life over to my HP who is my god. The day I had my true vision on how my HP wanted me to learn the right way live , he has...

bijela · bijela

I really shouldn't be having to deal with this. I almost can't believe I am dealing with this. I shouldn't let this bother me, but I am SO FURIOUS right now. I gave my recent ex the benefit of the doubt and didn't unfriend him on Facebook. I wanted to try to lessen the pain for him from us breaking up. Well now...

Ness · Ness

'Dont let your kids kill you' This is the emotive title of a book written by a parent, two of whose children were A's. This is not CAL literature, but (in my humble eyes) should be! It's by Charles Rubin It helped me a lot. Ness

Tyrone · Tyrone

Hi All, I'm new here and would like some opinions on what happened to my relationship with my ex GF. I am a compulsive overeater and go back and forth between going to OA meetings. I suggested my GF try Al Anon to deal with some problems her daughter was having and she liked the meetings and began to attend r...

bijela · bijela

I am trying SO HARD to trust my gut and not blame myself for other's behavior. I get this overwhelming sense of guilt that I did something wrong when logicially, I didn't. I guess it is the whole ACOA thing where you are blamed for everything that happens in the house that the addict had brought onto the...

rehprof · rehprof

for three years, I have struggled...bankruptcy...working extra to take care of my kids, with no support from exA...broken household things that I had to find a way to repair (like when my well pump went, and my dad and I had to replace it in below freezing weather). I try very hard to focus on the positiv...

Tigger · Tigger

October 6, 2013 Business meeting members present: Tigger, Winnie, mspw, KathieG, bubblegum, davidg, xenon robinks, Shimo, grace, whackamole, Diane > Tigger opened the meeting with the Serenity prayer. Agenda to include: 1.) Ops and others doing chair actions without consultation. 2....

mm830 · mm830

So A and I are in our typical fight and I haven't heard from him all day. Yesterday was good, I had a good day despite this crap. Today has been harder. I find myself lost as far as how to live anymore, to connect with people socially. It's easier to be home that way I am safe, or feel safe because its just easie...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

So I bottom lined it for A. Told him he needs to leave. He decides to go into detox centre for a week. (Support his decision in that...but....) I took the little one to see him tonight. He asked. I thought okay I can do this. All of his things are still here. I asked what his plans were upon leaving the centre....

Tigger · Tigger

Dear chat group members, The monthly chat room meeting business group meets this evening straight after the regular 7pm est Al-Anon meeting. All Al-Anon meeting members are welcome to attend and discuss any concerns or ideas relating to the meetings. Hope to see you there. Tigger (business grou...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

HI all - so my A did go to a AA meeting this Wed past as he said (this is when I tried to go to my F2F in the same BLDG). Good thing we drove separate because there was no meeting there for me, I am beginning to think there are no real Al anon meetings in Rochester LOL Anyway, he mentioned last night about me goin...

el-cee · el-cee

You know that saying 'if it walks and talks like a duck, then its a duck?' To me, for where I am in my life right now, this is so meaningful. Its all about the truth, you know, just the basic facts. Not my own definition or interpretation of the truth just the bare facts that actually equal the truth. I'm 42 n...

el-cee · el-cee

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Today I woke up and started to pray for me today. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.We became addicted to excitement.We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue."We have "stuffe...

neshema2 · neshema2

I am on facebook friend and I R chatting and hes ALL distraught....I ask him "whats up" he tells me my sister is not doing well w/her cancer.... (this is the sister who abused me all my life----condemned me for name change and thus dumping the sire------didn't want me to have my share of in...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Funny how I can understand, accept and deal with so many truths and yet keep finding things I am completely in denial about. (And yes of course I know there are deeper issues, these are superficial things but I'm just making some realisations about them). For example, the A has all of these "bad ha...

Kah27 · Kah27

Hello everyone. I am new to this site hoping to get some advice. My husband had a dui two years ago and he really straightened up for a while but then went back to drinking and hiding it from me since i guess the past year. I always know when hes been drinking i dont even have to smell it. So we just made a big mov...

brenb2011 · brenb2011

I've never been here before, don't know how to deal about 6 weeks ago my 29-year-old alcoholic son, committed suicide and I feel pain everywhere. My back hurts, my legs hurt, my heart is broken, my other son is in denial and we live about 300 miles apart so life is so complicated. I just don't know how to co...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I'm writing this because I need to tell somebody. I will not get involved, I will not rescue my son, I will not call for help. He made his choice and I will not project the outcome anymore. Let go Let God.......

Ness · Ness

I am finding I can do this a day at a time. It is 2 years this week (27th) since my son died of this disease. I have been agitated the last couple of weeks but my Al-anon tools when I apply them calm me. What I find much more difficult is his birthday, which is tomorrow (30th), he would have been 37. So I have to...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I thought I was doing okay. I had my own place, a part time job, I'm active n my churchI was away from my biggest stressor - my AH. I started spending more time with him, and decided to move back home. Foolish. delusional? I am having myself a little pity party. I'm not sure how to move forward if we don't mov...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Recently, many things are starting to make sense. I am starting to understand them. Things from childhood, things that didn't make sense before. Why we lived in a big house but could never afford anything. Why my parents would se...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

So I started my new job today....lots of HR paperwork, I was tired, ran a bit of errands, got home prepared the kids to go trick-or-treating. I was not going to get into costume but in the last minute I did and it felt super fun. I felt like a happy child again myself....I wore a $6 thrift store mermaid cos...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I cannot get what I need from this relationship. If I'm going to be in a relationship, I need to respect and admire that person, and feel good about giving to them. I need to feel that the person cares about me, finds me interesting, appreciates what is good in me, finds me attractive, enjoys my company an...

maja · maja

hi all...i hope someone is out there... i am trying very hard to not enable my son but it is very hard....as clear as i get about who i want to be....i lose myself and get confused. he is 20, has an active warrant out for his felony strike offense, on and off of meth...hard for me to know exactly whats up right...

joker · joker

I am experiencing fear of having to attend court and testify againt the ex-alcoholic. Back in May 2013 he abused me badly and is now in jail. Trial has been set for Dec 16-18, 2013. I have all kinds of fears going through my mind. What if he gets off and is set free? What if, what if if..I know I do not know w...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

TGIF everyone I read the two post below me and I was also reading some of the responses. I have been working my program for a little over a year and I can say yes I'm much much better but like something Jerry F said. Quote: I remember thinking "Free at last, Free at last...thank God I'm free at last&...

trudgingalong · trudgingalong

Hi All, Quick background - hubbies been sober for several years now, with an "almost" slip last year. This past June I found him sexting with a newly sober woman living in a half way house..... - a month later found a singles profile set up - he was actively talking to women...... He promised...

seeking929 · seeking929

Hello. I visited this site a few minutes ago and read some posts that really related to me. I finally feel a connection to al-anon due to this site. Let me explain. I met my now husband and didn't know he was an alcoholic. We got engaged and I still didn't know. Not until a few weeks before the wedding....

gofred123 · gofred123

Now with things settling down, plans made to separate my wife and I are exploring a "controlled Seperation" from the book "Do I Go or Do I Stay" AA has got me back on track in handling emotional issues after returning full time back in September and true emotions are creeping out...

thepolarbear · thepolarbear

Hi, I'm new here. And new to this hell called alcoholism. I met a wonderful man in summer of last year. It was the most glorious time of my life - we spent 3 months getting to know each other and it finally turned into a romance - but at its heart was a beautiful friendship. He was everything I'd ever wanted in...

oldergal · oldergal

Thomas Merton said that the way we have structured our lives, we spend our whole life climbing up the ladder of supposed success, and when we get to the top of the ladder we realize it is leaning against the wrong walland there is nothing at the top anyway. To get back to the place of inherent abundance, yo...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Starting a new job as a head start teacher (orientation tomorrow morning and I'm still up...too excited...) I'm content that in progress, I'm becoming mentally healthy again. I have not had much money since I quit a job in March......but we were all healthy, with shelter, food, good grades (the ki...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together Step 4 has been posted to the Step Work Board.Please share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t5542681...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I could really use some prayers if you have a few to spare. My mother died as a result of the hurricane last year. I feel numb. Today is the day the hurricane happened. I learned at work that someone with no real knowledge and a only a temporary employee was shown favoritism because of lots of manipulati...

mm830 · mm830

This is kind of me trying to reason this one out, but why am I so unbelievably angry that A can't support me the way I need to be supported. I know I may as well go talk to a bowl of jello and it would make me feel more understood plus its colorful and happy. I mean really its more a question of why am I trying to get...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just a short reflection: My step-mom passed away 2 years ago yesterday. I forgot to mention it in my last post. I put her photo on Facebook. She is on my mind today as well. It hurts a lot because my mom who is still alive is slipping from me. Kathleen

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

I know not everyone uses music, but music is how I relate, commutate at times and well. Music is my thing for a lot. This is a song IF I decide to leave my A means something to me. And sometimes I think when I hear it helps me decide what I really want. I am at my cross road so it hits home. I wish I could play it fo...

abbyalana · abbyalana

For some reason I had this surge of personal growth last week. I feel like I "let go" and it's scary and exciting all at the same time. I am not worrying anymore about the exAH. If court stuff happens...it happens and I will handle it. I am not worrying about the house and bills anymore. I'v...

nancymom4 · nancymom4

I am feeling blue today. Recently realizing my spouse Alcoholic (sober) is so distant from me. Not knowing if we will ever be close again. Not giving up but just coming to a realization of our relationship. Now 3 of the 4 kids are mostly grown and doing their own thing. The now 14 yr. old is in her teenage di...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Baby steps to sanity :) (Preview) My days off have been seemingly uneventful and my judgemental side would say "wasted." Laundry didn't get done. The floors are still dirty. The vacuum is still broke; ABF didn't try to fix it as he'd promised, and I didn't stress over it. It's getting cold and the thermostat for the heater i...	Raven Juniper	2	320	Nov 5, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Lost it today (Preview) I lost all my temper today, I yelled at my AH like a crazy person, and he kept calmly telling me that I am crazy, and other mean things like i am cheap, vulgar, etc.. I was going really wild, i feel bad for doing it to myself, but i feel a relief. But i felt trapped again, i cant sleep in my own bed again, and i am t...	Venera	14	483	Nov 5, 2013 by Mari1978
	An Update and a Thank You (Preview) Thank you to those who responded to my question. I really appreciate everything that you have said, and am taking it and applying it to my life. It really means a whole lot to me. I was able to resonate with a lot of the things that were shared. I have attended one alanon meeting, I was feeling quite despera...	angellerose	2	411	Nov 5, 2013 by hotrod
	Poor behavior will not change (Preview) I am smart . I feel healthy . I'm trying my best . We can't turn the heat up because of the spouse not working. Comes upstairs and want to fight about I'm lazy I best get a Job I'm again non supported wife I am now a self Alaon loser . Sent me mutiple texts and when did not answer them he threaten to break door down...	Wisdom67	3	351	Nov 5, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	the relapse bandwagon..I am tired (Preview) Well, yes, again. My AH cant seem to do anything with others from his work. I realize that he tried and succeeded in not drinking at the beginning of the month when he went to science camp with his coworkers, but this one night seminar this weekend was just too much I guess. My concern is that he drove with o...	ryanhearted	7	515	Nov 5, 2013 by Ifnotforgrace
	wish I had more time... (Preview) I really wish I had more time to reflect & read more posts. I seem to run out of time before I am truly done. I am still a work in progress. You are all important to me & I value each soul who gets on here. I guess I am a little bit anxious. Maybe it is because I run out of time. I am so sorry that I can't alway...	Hoot Nanny	4	242	Nov 5, 2013 by ryanhearted
	**SPIRITUAL matter, I'll take ANY sincere prayer (Preview) WEll, I have been trying to make amends with/ re-connect wmy Higher Power....or more truthfully connect w/him, really, intimately, for the FIRST time...since then, the step 3, thing, I have been under MAJOR attack.....satan is creating havoc in my life...When i told HP I do NOT WANT TO BE AGNOSTIC A...	neshema2	8	462	Nov 5, 2013 by neshema2
	What to do? (Preview) Please somebody help me! What can I do now? My husband left on sunday to a hotel where he was going to drink after drinking on Saturday. He ususally takes 5 days drinking and then starts functioning again. Saturday night he was watching tv till 4 am, i couldnt sleep, I have a 3 week old baby which i have to fe...	Venera	7	694	Nov 5, 2013 by neshema2
	Encouragement & ESH Needed (Preview) MIPers, I could really use some encouragement to LIVE (and let live!). My partner is extraordinarily busy with full-time work and part-time school and I am finding myself at loose ends. And, by loose ends, I mean bored, frustrated (with her schedule), and resentful. It has been very hard for me not t...	BlueCloud	11	480	Nov 5, 2013 by BlueCloud
	with a clearer mind, I edited my "need prayer post" (Preview) I read that post....I could see my pain all over the place..... I edited it so as to be more "generic" re: the HP thingy....i was NOT doing a proseletize job on anyone on the original....I was just crying out.....those of you who replied to my apology to the board post, I sooo appreciate you, a...	neshema2	7	423	Nov 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	Refreshing Change (Preview) Hi all You know a little about my lazy SO and me doing everything in regards to the home. Well one of the things I stopped doing about 4 months ago was cleaning the office. I don't use it much so I decided it was his mess and he can clean it..or not...he uses it all the time. Well this weekend I guess he hit HI...	Cathyinaz	2	422	Nov 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	Breakthrough (Preview) Breakthrough with my recovery today. My AH (who moved out a month ago) called yesterday to ask me where the truck registration tags were as his had expired in July. I kindly reminded him that I had given him the tags and new registration back in August and I'm not sure where it is, but I will look around...	mongowal	4	277	Nov 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	It may be good or may not be (Preview) Hello everyone. Just sharing. I took a break this weekend, didnt go anywhere other than outside my head. A break from Al Anon, reading, important talks, things like that. Tom and I had a wonderful - wonderful weekend. I let the worries and stress go and somehow told myself everything is normal, it is t...	Iwantthingsback	4	442	Nov 5, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	I lost my temper today :( (Preview) Well, I'm living with my parents and niece (and her two month old) for the moment. Got a new job. My brothers children came over today and played with my children. I was very calm and peachy keen until I took a break in a room. I then heard my niece say " ...are a pain, especially Abram". She w...	RoseODAT	9	713	Nov 4, 2013 by neshema2
	some step 3 reflections and lesson I learned . (Preview) Step 3 progress update Its kinda nice to sit, breathe, meditate , first give thanks to HP for what IS correct in my life and to petition not just for me but for all who are struggling w/something...be it health, finances, family stuff, whatever, pain is pain and the steady "drip" i was getti...	neshema2	4	470	Nov 4, 2013 by hotrod
	My Alcoholic's deep depression (Preview) My husband and I are behind on our mortgage by 2 payments for quite a while now. Over a year. The bank wants us to modify our loan and stretch it out for 40 years. We have less than 10 years to pay it off. We will be in our 90's!!!! We can pay every month but it is difficult to pay the back payments. We have done fin...	nancymom4	13	626	Nov 4, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Thank goodness I dropped expectations! (Preview) My son has 3 good friends over for his birthday right now. We're going to a concert in an hour or so and they're having pizza and cake in a bit. My AH is 'resting' in the bedroom, he's been in there for the past 3 hours. He has not come out to greet our son's friends. The boys probably don't even realize he'...	ilovedogs	3	478	Nov 4, 2013 by ilovedogs
	A Question About Rehab rehab (Preview) Hello, all! Background story (if you'd care to read):I've never been on here before, but I needed some advice so I figured I'm come on here. Growing up, I knew that my dad was an alcoholic, but things weren't so bad because he would stay sober for many years, and then maybe every 3 or 4 years or so (maybe mor...	angellerose	6	6215	Nov 4, 2013 by Mattie
	New rules new management (Preview) Well it's Sunday and it's ALAON night yeah!!!! It's my face to face meeting . My children say mom why are you so happy your going to a meeting ? Dad hates his meetings! This is true it's become a chore for him he not happy when he leaves and not happy when he returns . My meetings are my only night I get out...	Wisdom67	7	471	Nov 4, 2013 by Mari1978
	Love to all Al Anon friends (Preview) Just wanted to say thanks to all who have responded to the few posts I have done. I am somewhat new here. But since I am not always able to get to my meetings with running my teen around, this place of Al-anon friends is such a comfort to me. Thanks for listening and responding. Sometimes we don't need great...	nancymom4	1	247	Nov 4, 2013 by PP
	New name (Preview) Well I decided to change my name and start over. Today I am grateful I'm alive and healthy and my AH is SOBER. I'm grateful for my children and grateful for taking action on my life and turn my life over to my HP who is my god. The day I had my true vision on how my HP wanted me to learn the right way live , he has...	Wisdom67	15	978	Nov 4, 2013 by ryanhearted
	How old are we now? I can't believe that I am dealing with this! (Preview) I really shouldn't be having to deal with this. I almost can't believe I am dealing with this. I shouldn't let this bother me, but I am SO FURIOUS right now. I gave my recent ex the benefit of the doubt and didn't unfriend him on Facebook. I wanted to try to lessen the pain for him from us breaking up. Well now...	bijela	11	525	Nov 4, 2013 by Jerry F
	Don't let your kids kill you (Preview) 'Dont let your kids kill you' This is the emotive title of a book written by a parent, two of whose children were A's. This is not CAL literature, but (in my humble eyes) should be! It's by Charles Rubin It helped me a lot. Ness	Ness	10	585	Nov 4, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	Did my ex misunderstand Al Anon's message?? Al Anon boundaries addiction change (Preview) Hi All, I'm new here and would like some opinions on what happened to my relationship with my ex GF. I am a compulsive overeater and go back and forth between going to OA meetings. I suggested my GF try Al Anon to deal with some problems her daughter was having and she liked the meetings and began to attend r...	Tyrone	16	9806	Nov 4, 2013 by Tyrone
	How do you trust your gut and not take all the blame for everything? (Preview) I am trying SO HARD to trust my gut and not blame myself for other's behavior. I get this overwhelming sense of guilt that I did something wrong when logicially, I didn't. I guess it is the whole ACOA thing where you are blamed for everything that happens in the house that the addict had brought onto the...	bijela	5	432	Nov 3, 2013 by RoseODAT
	Update on the can of worms... (Preview) for three years, I have struggled...bankruptcy...working extra to take care of my kids, with no support from exA...broken household things that I had to find a way to repair (like when my well pump went, and my dad and I had to replace it in below freezing weather). I try very hard to focus on the positiv...	rehprof	11	556	Nov 4, 2013 by Breakingfree
	MINUTES OF OCTOBER 6, 2013 CHAT ROOM BUSINESS MEETING (Preview) October 6, 2013 Business meeting members present: Tigger, Winnie, mspw, KathieG, bubblegum, davidg, xenon robinks, Shimo, grace, whackamole, Diane > Tigger opened the meeting with the Serenity prayer. Agenda to include: 1.) Ops and others doing chair actions without consultation. 2....	Tigger	0	324	Nov 3, 2013 by Tigger
	Little Wobbly but getting through (Preview) So A and I are in our typical fight and I haven't heard from him all day. Yesterday was good, I had a good day despite this crap. Today has been harder. I find myself lost as far as how to live anymore, to connect with people socially. It's easier to be home that way I am safe, or feel safe because its just easie...	mm830	4	337	Nov 3, 2013 by hotrod
	Oh so challenging (Preview) So I bottom lined it for A. Told him he needs to leave. He decides to go into detox centre for a week. (Support his decision in that...but....) I took the little one to see him tonight. He asked. I thought okay I can do this. All of his things are still here. I asked what his plans were upon leaving the centre....	Mari1978	6	442	Nov 3, 2013 by pinkchip
	AL-ANON CHAT GROUP BUSINESS MEETING TONIGHT AT 8.30PM (EST) (Preview) Dear chat group members, The monthly chat room meeting business group meets this evening straight after the regular 7pm est Al-Anon meeting. All Al-Anon meeting members are welcome to attend and discuss any concerns or ideas relating to the meetings. Hope to see you there. Tigger (business grou...	Tigger	0	292	Nov 3, 2013 by Tigger
	AA meetings open meetings (Preview) HI all - so my A did go to a AA meeting this Wed past as he said (this is when I tried to go to my F2F in the same BLDG). Good thing we drove separate because there was no meeting there for me, I am beginning to think there are no real Al anon meetings in Rochester LOL Anyway, he mentioned last night about me goin...	Iwantthingsback	9	923	Nov 3, 2013 by Tracy
	The duck! (Preview) You know that saying 'if it walks and talks like a duck, then its a duck?' To me, for where I am in my life right now, this is so meaningful. Its all about the truth, you know, just the basic facts. Not my own definition or interpretation of the truth just the bare facts that actually equal the truth. I'm 42 n...	el-cee	13	642	Nov 3, 2013 by milkwood
	The Change Curve (Preview)	el-cee	4	523	Nov 3, 2013 by milkwood
	Understanding step 4 (Preview) Today I woke up and started to pray for me today. We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.We became addicted to excitement.We confuse love and pity and tend to "love" people we can "pity" and "rescue."We have "stuffe...	Ms co-dependent	6	1128	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	oh yea, right...I am in recovery b/c I am such a "cold heart" (Preview) I am on facebook friend and I R chatting and hes ALL distraught....I ask him "whats up" he tells me my sister is not doing well w/her cancer.... (this is the sister who abused me all my life----condemned me for name change and thus dumping the sire------didn't want me to have my share of in...	neshema2	12	489	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Oh, they aren't just "stages". (Preview) Funny how I can understand, accept and deal with so many truths and yet keep finding things I am completely in denial about. (And yes of course I know there are deeper issues, these are superficial things but I'm just making some realisations about them). For example, the A has all of these "bad ha...	Melly1248	14	649	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Facing the inevitability (Preview) Hello everyone. I am new to this site hoping to get some advice. My husband had a dui two years ago and he really straightened up for a while but then went back to drinking and hiding it from me since i guess the past year. I always know when hes been drinking i dont even have to smell it. So we just made a big mov...	Kah27	12	581	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Son's Suicide (Preview) I've never been here before, don't know how to deal about 6 weeks ago my 29-year-old alcoholic son, committed suicide and I feel pain everywhere. My back hurts, my legs hurt, my heart is broken, my other son is in denial and we live about 300 miles apart so life is so complicated. I just don't know how to co...	brenb2011	26	801	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Why do I always Feel I have to do Something (Preview) I'm writing this because I need to tell somebody. I will not get involved, I will not rescue my son, I will not call for help. He made his choice and I will not project the outcome anymore. Let go Let God.......	Cathyinaz	14	809	Nov 3, 2013 by bijela
	Living with a broken heart (Preview) I am finding I can do this a day at a time. It is 2 years this week (27th) since my son died of this disease. I have been agitated the last couple of weeks but my Al-anon tools when I apply them calm me. What I find much more difficult is his birthday, which is tomorrow (30th), he would have been 37. So I have to...	Ness	22	749	Nov 3, 2013 by DreamsOver
	now what? (Preview) I thought I was doing okay. I had my own place, a part time job, I'm active n my churchI was away from my biggest stressor - my AH. I started spending more time with him, and decided to move back home. Foolish. delusional? I am having myself a little pity party. I'm not sure how to move forward if we don't mov...	sadsusie	4	519	Nov 3, 2013 by Mattie
	Things are starting to make sense. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Recently, many things are starting to make sense. I am starting to understand them. Things from childhood, things that didn't make sense before. Why we lived in a big house but could never afford anything. Why my parents would se...	slogan_jim	3	402	Nov 2, 2013 by DavidG
	Halloween evening (Preview) So I started my new job today....lots of HR paperwork, I was tired, ran a bit of errands, got home prepared the kids to go trick-or-treating. I was not going to get into costume but in the last minute I did and it felt super fun. I felt like a happy child again myself....I wore a $6 thrift store mermaid cos...	RoseODAT	7	451	Nov 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	I want better. (Preview) I cannot get what I need from this relationship. If I'm going to be in a relationship, I need to respect and admire that person, and feel good about giving to them. I need to feel that the person cares about me, finds me interesting, appreciates what is good in me, finds me attractive, enjoys my company an...	Melly1248	15	660	Nov 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	DIRECTION NEEDED NOW IN REGARDS TO MY SON THE ADDICT (Preview) hi all...i hope someone is out there... i am trying very hard to not enable my son but it is very hard....as clear as i get about who i want to be....i lose myself and get confused. he is 20, has an active warrant out for his felony strike offense, on and off of meth...hard for me to know exactly whats up right...	maja	9	590	Nov 2, 2013 by grammie
	Fear of court (Preview) I am experiencing fear of having to attend court and testify againt the ex-alcoholic. Back in May 2013 he abused me badly and is now in jail. Trial has been set for Dec 16-18, 2013. I have all kinds of fears going through my mind. What if he gets off and is set free? What if, what if if..I know I do not know w...	joker	5	579	Nov 2, 2013 by bud
	Reading Posts (Preview) TGIF everyone I read the two post below me and I was also reading some of the responses. I have been working my program for a little over a year and I can say yes I'm much much better but like something Jerry F said. Quote: I remember thinking "Free at last, Free at last...thank God I'm free at last&...	Cathyinaz	5	518	Nov 2, 2013 by RoseODAT
	Women texting my husband (Preview) Hi All, Quick background - hubbies been sober for several years now, with an "almost" slip last year. This past June I found him sexting with a newly sober woman living in a half way house..... - a month later found a singles profile set up - he was actively talking to women...... He promised...	trudgingalong	18	1373	Nov 2, 2013 by likemyheart
	Online Sponsorship (Preview) Hello. I visited this site a few minutes ago and read some posts that really related to me. I finally feel a connection to al-anon due to this site. Let me explain. I met my now husband and didn't know he was an alcoholic. We got engaged and I still didn't know. Not until a few weeks before the wedding....	seeking929	17	608	Nov 2, 2013 by Tasha
	has any experienced "control Seperation" (Preview) Now with things settling down, plans made to separate my wife and I are exploring a "controlled Seperation" from the book "Do I Go or Do I Stay" AA has got me back on track in handling emotional issues after returning full time back in September and true emotions are creeping out...	gofred123	6	480	Nov 2, 2013 by el-cee
	Trying to figure it all out (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. And new to this hell called alcoholism. I met a wonderful man in summer of last year. It was the most glorious time of my life - we spent 3 months getting to know each other and it finally turned into a romance - but at its heart was a beautiful friendship. He was everything I'd ever wanted in...	thepolarbear	21	474	Nov 2, 2013 by Jerry F
	The Deepest You (Preview) Thomas Merton said that the way we have structured our lives, we spend our whole life climbing up the ladder of supposed success, and when we get to the top of the ladder we realize it is leaning against the wrong walland there is nothing at the top anyway. To get back to the place of inherent abundance, yo...	oldergal	9	622	Nov 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	Just a simple share (Preview) Starting a new job as a head start teacher (orientation tomorrow morning and I'm still up...too excited...) I'm content that in progress, I'm becoming mentally healthy again. I have not had much money since I quit a job in March......but we were all healthy, with shelter, food, good grades (the ki...	RoseODAT	12	442	Nov 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	ALANON STEP 4 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together Step 4 has been posted to the Step Work Board.Please share your thoughts http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t5542681...	hotrod	0	320	Nov 1, 2013 by hotrod
	Rough week ahead (Preview) I could really use some prayers if you have a few to spare. My mother died as a result of the hurricane last year. I feel numb. Today is the day the hurricane happened. I learned at work that someone with no real knowledge and a only a temporary employee was shown favoritism because of lots of manipulati...	tiredtonite	9	694	Nov 1, 2013 by tiredtonite
	Don't feel supported (Preview) This is kind of me trying to reason this one out, but why am I so unbelievably angry that A can't support me the way I need to be supported. I know I may as well go talk to a bowl of jello and it would make me feel more understood plus its colorful and happy. I mean really its more a question of why am I trying to get...	mm830	12	628	Nov 1, 2013 by Tasha
	sometimes it doesn't seem any easier. (Preview) Just a short reflection: My step-mom passed away 2 years ago yesterday. I forgot to mention it in my last post. I put her photo on Facebook. She is on my mind today as well. It hurts a lot because my mom who is still alive is slipping from me. Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	7	426	Nov 1, 2013 by Ness
	Just sharing........... (Preview) I know not everyone uses music, but music is how I relate, commutate at times and well. Music is my thing for a lot. This is a song IF I decide to leave my A means something to me. And sometimes I think when I hear it helps me decide what I really want. I am at my cross road so it hits home. I wish I could play it fo...	Iwantthingsback	5	510	Nov 1, 2013 by milkwood
	I had a breakthrough! (Preview) For some reason I had this surge of personal growth last week. I feel like I "let go" and it's scary and exciting all at the same time. I am not worrying anymore about the exAH. If court stuff happens...it happens and I will handle it. I am not worrying about the house and bills anymore. I'v...	abbyalana	8	342	Nov 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	feeling blue (Preview) I am feeling blue today. Recently realizing my spouse Alcoholic (sober) is so distant from me. Not knowing if we will ever be close again. Not giving up but just coming to a realization of our relationship. Now 3 of the 4 kids are mostly grown and doing their own thing. The now 14 yr. old is in her teenage di...	nancymom4	10	449	Nov 1, 2013 by nancymom4
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.