Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

slowlearner · slowlearner

Whydid I stay with my AH all these years. I don't know. When we first got married I didn't realize that he had a problem with drinking (I grew up in an alcoholic family so alot of the behavior was "normal". Then the kids came along and I didn't want to be alone - though I basically was he was not...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Oh no Ilikemyheart, I heard myself in that post, I would totally be the friend telling you how to build your bloods clotting factor while you bled all over the floor, I laughed so hard at myself when I read that. Its true, oh no, I am just like that! But we are off topic here; you know an unhealthy gut can cau...

Diane Chambers · Diane Chambers

Hi there. I'm a newbie to the board though almost two years in the program. Seeking guidance/suggestions on how to handle a particular situation... I'm a single mom (I'm in my 30s, my kid is a toddler) and am soon to be divorced from my qualifier. I haven't dated anyone since my ex and I split almost tw...

neshema2 · neshema2

Thursday night, my daughter #2 found me a great lawn guy, so i got him to do my yard...great guy, great job, my oldest grandson's uncle , he is... anyway, I call Daughter to thank her profusely for helping me find a yard guy and we chat and she says "I love you mom, i miss you" and i told her th...

Lyne · Lyne

When I was newer to the board, I read from one of you, if you know the answer to a question, why ask it? That is good advice. In a difficult discussion I had with my A last week, I said that I knew she was drinking. She admitted to drinking. I can't tell whether the truth makes it better or worse, but either...

Rusty Angel · Rusty Angel

I get very confused trying to understand love. In the biblical description....love is patient, love is kind etc....it goes on to say "love is not self-seeking"......yet as a codependent I have fallen victim to negating myself, waiting on others only. Al-Anon encourages us to unde...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I've been cleaning out my old emails and found this message that I sent to my AH a little over three years ago: Dear <<<>>>>,It is clear this disease called alcoholism has taken control of you. You've chosen not to give up drinking for your health, for me, for your daughters, o...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

Hi everyone! For the first time in a long time, I went to the gym twice this week & last night I went to a f2f meeting. I'm still looking for a psychologist. I'm happier than I than I have been. I'm very slowly getting there. Have a fantastic Saturday & Sunday!

Angel19 · Angel19

So my husband has been sober 1 year and 7 months and started drinking non alcoholic beer at the beginning of his recovery and recently one beer at a party. Well, tonight he seems to be back to his old ways. He went to the bar right after work and turned his phone off. What can I do . Should I leave him. I'm so tir...

Gaby · Gaby

I have not heard from my son but people that have seen him do tell me he's around. Today I go to our local county jail website and lord and behold I saw my sons name.. He was pickup this morning for a choice he chose to make and he will possibly look at some time possibly prison. Last night I prayed he would get c...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I have to admit that I have been hyper focused on AH ever since he started attending AA meetings over the last 2 weeks. It's like I'm waiting for some sort of sign to tell me he's safe to talk to again or that I can trust him with certain things again. You know, stuff like my emotions, my feelings, my sou...

StillConfused · StillConfused

Hi everyone, I am not too sure where to begin. I am here because I am concerned about my brother. He got a DUI last Thanksgiving. He disclosed this to me like a week after it happened, I am positive he considered not telling me, even though we are very close. He still hasn't told any of his family members, wh...

sunshine23 · sunshine23

It has been good so far having moved out. AH seems to have longer periods of recovery in between, however, he is still very prideful about being ok whenever I asked him to go AA or help. This week my kids are gone and my AH wanted me to go for a trip with him. Just driving out of town for the weekend. Not sure if I...

Gaby · Gaby

I will be getting my nails and toes did up and taking my daughter with me. We have a wedding to go to tomorrow and I will have fun and enjoy myself and enjoy my time with my husband and daughter. I will for ever keep my son in prayers but I will continue to take care of me. Next weekend another busy Saturday for m...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Although retirement is about 13 days away (yes, I'm counting), I've already begun recreating my life. I signed up for two day a week walks with others my age and two warm water pool classes two nights a week starting next week. Today, I asked one of my current board members who did begin as a program vol...

CelinaR · CelinaR

A month ago, my AH's disease progressed more than I could have imagined. He is a sneaky drinker - never ever drinking in front of me and denying that he is drinking. He was in outpatient treatment over the winter but drank during it so was discharged from the program. He continued to go to AA and insist t...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I went to the doctor and he told me my CT scan was clear. So clear it didn't look like I was a smoker at one time. Now he's confused with my shortness of breath so I'm heading out the door soon to take a Stress Test. What if it hasn't been COPD but a heart condition. Lovely. We will see. I don't like do...

el-cee · el-cee

Due to work committments I have missed my meetings for the last 3 weeks. Ive been feeling a bit fearful in case I revert back to my old miserable self, but im doing not too bad. I can feel a bit of a decline and a bit panicky a couple of times but im getting good at using the tools. Ive been reading each day, conn...

deramam · deramam

I recently married my bf of 6 yrs. He was almost 3 months sober and working the program but it seems like everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie whether he is drinking or not. from dec-April he completed detox, inpatient and outpatient relapse prevention. he relapsed late feb and then again at th...

grateful2be · grateful2be

How many days? Any fun things you're doing as you prepare that you want to share with us? Any fun surprises you've received? Any requests from your MIP family? Looking forward to sharing your joy in some small way if you want to share some of it? If not, I'm still very excited for you. You've worked...

Truth · Truth

I am really excited to start this new chapter. I am ready to move forward and ready to heal. It is going to be a new adventure.

hotrod · hotrod

Share from "BLESSED " a new Member who posted to the Sticky at the top of the Board I transferred it so we could all read and share Thank you. I am new to the program; and just kind of glossed over Steps 1, 2, and 3, which of course I have aced and why I came to AlAnon to start with. However, as I s...

sadsusie · sadsusie

It was almost exactly a year ago today that I left the first time. I was a severely disturbed and depressed woman, scared she would hurt herself or others in the fury of the backlash of alcoholism. Today, I am learning to ask "what do I want?" Not even what's is best for this relationship or fu...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

A quick recap of my situation. My AH and I used to be coworkers. He was fired back in March. People ask me almost on a daily basis if he has a new job yet. They ask about my kids. They know we are separated. They ask about my new apartment. Question after question. How is he making it without a paycheck? Etc etc...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I've been asked about my avatar which I posted as a humble reminder of who the real artist and creator is. The is the back view of a Peacock. The symmetrical beauty of this animal is awe inspiring to me. I've seen them strut and fan their tails and rarely have seen tis view of one like this. I have a pe...

mynewlife · mynewlife

I have not posted since my introduction but I do follow the forum everyday and find great comfort in the support here. I am so grateful to each of you for having the courage to share your journey and I wish that I had the same courage, but thank each of you! After reading another post today that sparked a tri...

PaintItBlack · PaintItBlack

New Here. I just need a place to let loose where no one knows me or my sister. For seven years I've watched her fall into alcohol. It was subtle at first. I noticed she would never talk to me unless it was a crisis. No casual, "how are you?" or "what's new?" or "let's meet up&...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Maybe and maybe not and then there will be more maybe than not because a duck is a duck is a duck. Some of you might remember that part of my journey that included "Pinch and Roodie" the two duck chicks I rescued from my clients hotel who were abandoned by their mom. Well this one isn't named...

LiveLaughLove · LiveLaughLove

I visit this forum very often but don't post very often, but right now I just need to share (okay....vent). I feel like such a sucker. My ex and I broke up over a year ago due to his alcoholism. We have still been in contact and have even, at times, discussed the possibility of us getting back together if h...

elmo7 · elmo7

Hi folks. I'm sure glad I stumbled across this site. I don't know how you determine when enough is enough, but it feels like I'm getting close. My wife left on Sunday to go to the beach with her parents while I stayed at home and kept working. I'm ashamed to say that it has been wonderful having her gone...

lucymae · lucymae

I am helping out a person who was more of an acquaintance but is becoming more of a friend. She has been severely depressed. I have been helping her going on my 7th week. I'm there practically all day, everyday it seems. She is getting help so I don't feel I am enabling her by staying with her and helping her...

Lyne · Lyne

I fooled myself for many years. I thought my spouse cared about me so much that she would get healthy and learn to control her addictions. NOT SO! Not even close. The addictions are her priority and let me learn this please. I cannot compete with them. Alcohol, food, and gambling, are so much more...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

So I went roller skating with my kids at the park, which isn't that abnormal, we usually bike ride there. We play Frisbee golf there and go to the beach, but yesterday I fell roller skating and broke my right arm at the elbow, trying to catch myself. Of course it's my primary arm and I have to figure out how t...

slowlearner · slowlearner

I've been sitting here reading about Step 4 and thinking about the idea of making a moral inventory of myself. And it scares me. I don't really want to take a real deep look inside at myself because I'm afraid of what i will find. Will I find only emptiness. Maybe only bitterness and resentment. Or j...

lucymae · lucymae

I discovered the "high" of shopping when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I stole money from my father and went on a shopping spree. I've been doing it ever since and I will be 52. I don't steal money from anyone but I do steal from my husband and I lie and cheat with him. I know why I started this. It's...

DebLisa55 · DebLisa55

I have not been here in a long time. My husband was doing much better on his own. He found a good job and was happy. But for some reason in the past 2 weeks he is back to drinking AGAIN. I honestly do not know what gets into his head. His nasty attitude towards me is back and he actually blames me for his dri...

hotrod · hotrod

I love to find proof that this program is truly a fellowship of equals . Inspired by "Slow Learners" use of the Just for Today bookmark , I have decided to follow her lead and take one portion of that little pamphlet and work it today. When I first came into program, I really loved t...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Lets forget for the moment that I had decided to move out. That no matter how hard I try, I DO love him. I am noticing (he is certainly pointing it out) that I am a negative nelly I do frequently point out the negatives. I will turn a positive conversation into a negative conversation. I am harping on him, a...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Please keep the prayers coming because there is some wild stuff coming down the pipe. I have to let this go tonight and I'm soooo HOPING I'm wrong .. I sold the van a couple months ago and these folks got the van running and now are switching the title .. well .. there is a lien on the van .. now I did do some thi...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone I thought I was OK with my COPD but I guess I'm not at night. The study shows my oxygen go's down below 80 and they said that's not good. So they are coming today to my house and check it out and set up oxygen for me. ??? Dang I don't need to start losing my health Oh and I just started a diet and t...

slowlearner · slowlearner

Just for today... I am going to listen to my body and myself. I am going to listen for the times I am enabling. I am going to think before I speak or agree to something. I am not going to be the superachiever at work. But work well to the best of my abilities and not take on anyone else's projects and admit t...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Is there any way an individual can make her sight of the board be like it was? I know I remember seeing an ascending and the other ,once? I am seeing posts from days ago first. Then I miss new ones. I am scrolling all over trying to find new ones. I hate to miss a newbies welcome! Also someone who I want to make s...

el-cee · el-cee

My sponsor was telling me how the slogans are the gateway to the steps. Like practicing live and let live, saying it in your mind when you feel that need to get involved, is like practicing step 1. Do you use the slogans like this? -- Edited by el-cee on Tuesday 17th of June 2014 01:52:12 PM

missmeliss · missmeliss

So, feeling kind sad but determined to keep it together, I was due to have my brother and his girlfriend visit yesterday for the weekend and I went ahead with that plan and just cautioned my brother that I might not be totally animated and excitable as I'd had a bit of a hard day but would be really pleased t...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Have you ever wanted to go back in time, undo something you've done? As you get older, wiser (snort), you can name moments where you think to yourself, if only.... If only I could go back and take a different path, that "other" road. But - would going back change things for the better? If going...

Truth · Truth

Just Practicing lol

debhud · debhud

hi everyone, my AS is enabled by my parents. they pay all of his bills and watch his child while he sleeps. they are there for him at the drop of a dime. he is their entire focus in life. (he doesn't work) 7 other grandchildren in the picture that my parents rarely notice as they are so addicted to my AS....

jacob53 · jacob53

I am fairly new to this board but have been in alanon for a while now and have been working on my recovery for many years. But it never fails that dealing with my original family members always seems to set me back so so much. I am so upset today and have been for days that I decided to post. My sister got marrie...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

It is now starting to sink in that the one person I called when anything really good or bad was going on is no longer just a phone call away or on this earth any longer. There was really something special about having her as a sponsor and being able to say anything and not be judged for it and loved through it a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT for today summarizes the first and second step. It reviews the difficulty of surrendering control and trusting that there is a power greater than ourselves that has any concern about us. I know when I first entered Al-Anon I did not have a faith in the Power Greater than MYSELF and for a num...

TulsaMom · TulsaMom

New to Al Anon... at my first meeting someone told me that maybe I was getting in the way of God and he had stepped up the problems for my daughter because she wasn't listening... really helped me... does anyone know where this quote comes from so I can read it? Thanks

slowlearner · slowlearner

Hello everyone. I have a question. I have been an enabler for years. Grew up with alcoholics and then married one. My self-esteem is so low. I'm a nervous wreck and hide in my comfort zone. My fight to excel above this situation is gone. I go to work and come home and sleep. I barely get the basics d...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

OMGOSH .. I am SOOOO glad I took the kids to see their grandma. MANY reasons why .. the biggest so I could see for myself what is going on .. Now .. she was in a bad way on Monday .. she has terrible COPD (however that is .. lol .. I get confused) ... she's been in and out of the hospital for the last 10 years usuall...

neshema2 · neshema2

So ok...I go on a short break to kinda get away, break up my being a part of the drama that went through here like a brush fire and I do teh ole step 4 again sponsor is with me, thank god she felt up to the task and also my sis who is ret. mental health counsellor.....anyway, i really got into the steps of aca - rep...

John · John

Overwhemed and Grateful. That's how I would best describe myself lately. My life, like any one else's here has its up's and down's. And it seems that the really big things don't bother me too much, but all the little things that I deal with on a frequent or fairly regular basis, do overwhelm me. Coll...

hotrod · hotrod

FYI I changed my avatar in anticipation of summer and the July 4th Holiday

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Struggling with what I'm currently doing. AH is still trying to control his drinking but he drinks throughout the day at times, just not enough to become drunk or obvious. I'm trying not to care and carry on but find myself trying to figure out his behavior so I know if son is safe with him outside (around...

Truth · Truth

K so today I am accepting responsibility for placing my trust into someone that was "showing" untrustworthy behavior. I am just wondering about moving forward. How will I know I am trusting the correct people? Would you think it would be if you set a boundary and they accept it?

salvie · salvie

Hi! I'm reading "How Al-Anon works" now. I part two "Al-Anon experiences", chapter 5 "A dual member copes with his mother's drinking" he tells :" I have been sober for 30 years". But later he tells:" After 13 years of sobriety, 13 years of Twelve Ste...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I fear my son. my fear is that I don't want to see him this way. I don't want to hurt so much for him. I don't want to see or hear him hurting. I ask myself how to I remove this......... I DON'T KNOW HOW and that is fear in itself.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Years wasted???? (Preview) Whydid I stay with my AH all these years. I don't know. When we first got married I didn't realize that he had a problem with drinking (I grew up in an alcoholic family so alot of the behavior was "normal". Then the kids came along and I didn't want to be alone - though I basically was he was not...	slowlearner	9	603	Jun 21, 2014 by andromeda
	@ Ilikemyheart (Preview) Oh no Ilikemyheart, I heard myself in that post, I would totally be the friend telling you how to build your bloods clotting factor while you bled all over the floor, I laughed so hard at myself when I read that. Its true, oh no, I am just like that! But we are off topic here; you know an unhealthy gut can cau...	missmeliss	12	460	Jun 21, 2014 by likemyheart
	Dating another member in the Al-Anon program (Preview) Hi there. I'm a newbie to the board though almost two years in the program. Seeking guidance/suggestions on how to handle a particular situation... I'm a single mom (I'm in my 30s, my kid is a toddler) and am soon to be divorced from my qualifier. I haven't dated anyone since my ex and I split almost tw...	Diane Chambers	7	1064	Jun 21, 2014 by Debilyn
	Wish me luck, you all (Preview) Thursday night, my daughter #2 found me a great lawn guy, so i got him to do my yard...great guy, great job, my oldest grandson's uncle , he is... anyway, I call Daughter to thank her profusely for helping me find a yard guy and we chat and she says "I love you mom, i miss you" and i told her th...	neshema2	10	384	Jun 21, 2014 by neshema2
	hard truth (Preview) When I was newer to the board, I read from one of you, if you know the answer to a question, why ask it? That is good advice. In a difficult discussion I had with my A last week, I said that I knew she was drinking. She admitted to drinking. I can't tell whether the truth makes it better or worse, but either...	Lyne	3	270	Jun 21, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	pity vs love (Preview) I get very confused trying to understand love. In the biblical description....love is patient, love is kind etc....it goes on to say "love is not self-seeking"......yet as a codependent I have fallen victim to negating myself, waiting on others only. Al-Anon encourages us to unde...	Rusty Angel	13	1342	Jun 21, 2014 by missmeliss
	Revisiting Old Emails (Preview) I've been cleaning out my old emails and found this message that I sent to my AH a little over three years ago: Dear <<<>>>>,It is clear this disease called alcoholism has taken control of you. You've chosen not to give up drinking for your health, for me, for your daughters, o...	Green Eyes	7	451	Jun 21, 2014 by yanksfan51
	Taking care of me (Preview) Hi everyone! For the first time in a long time, I went to the gym twice this week & last night I went to a f2f meeting. I'm still looking for a psychologist. I'm happier than I than I have been. I'm very slowly getting there. Have a fantastic Saturday & Sunday!	phoenixmagicgirl	2	238	Jun 21, 2014 by grateful2be
	He slowly went back to his old ways. What do I do now?! (Preview) So my husband has been sober 1 year and 7 months and started drinking non alcoholic beer at the beginning of his recovery and recently one beer at a party. Well, tonight he seems to be back to his old ways. He went to the bar right after work and turned his phone off. What can I do . Should I leave him. I'm so tir...	Angel19	5	468	Jun 21, 2014 by yanksfan51
	My son in jail.. (Preview) I have not heard from my son but people that have seen him do tell me he's around. Today I go to our local county jail website and lord and behold I saw my sons name.. He was pickup this morning for a choice he chose to make and he will possibly look at some time possibly prison. Last night I prayed he would get c...	Gaby	10	558	Jun 20, 2014 by Andrea12
	Help me with new recovery (Preview) So, I have to admit that I have been hyper focused on AH ever since he started attending AA meetings over the last 2 weeks. It's like I'm waiting for some sort of sign to tell me he's safe to talk to again or that I can trust him with certain things again. You know, stuff like my emotions, my feelings, my sou...	andromeda	14	594	Jun 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	My brother, drinking problem, but what if I am wrong? (Preview) Hi everyone, I am not too sure where to begin. I am here because I am concerned about my brother. He got a DUI last Thanksgiving. He disclosed this to me like a week after it happened, I am positive he considered not telling me, even though we are very close. He still hasn't told any of his family members, wh...	StillConfused	8	463	Jun 20, 2014 by neshema2
	Should I or shouldn't I? (Preview) It has been good so far having moved out. AH seems to have longer periods of recovery in between, however, he is still very prideful about being ok whenever I asked him to go AA or help. This week my kids are gone and my AH wanted me to go for a trip with him. Just driving out of town for the weekend. Not sure if I...	sunshine23	8	512	Jun 20, 2014 by Lyne
	Today... (Preview) I will be getting my nails and toes did up and taking my daughter with me. We have a wedding to go to tomorrow and I will have fun and enjoy myself and enjoy my time with my husband and daughter. I will for ever keep my son in prayers but I will continue to take care of me. Next weekend another busy Saturday for m...	Gaby	9	444	Jun 20, 2014 by neshema2
	Creating life anew (Preview) Although retirement is about 13 days away (yes, I'm counting), I've already begun recreating my life. I signed up for two day a week walks with others my age and two warm water pool classes two nights a week starting next week. Today, I asked one of my current board members who did begin as a program vol...	grateful2be	18	631	Jun 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	Overwhelmed (Preview) A month ago, my AH's disease progressed more than I could have imagined. He is a sneaky drinker - never ever drinking in front of me and denying that he is drinking. He was in outpatient treatment over the winter but drank during it so was discharged from the program. He continued to go to AA and insist t...	CelinaR	5	351	Jun 20, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	CT Scan (Preview) I went to the doctor and he told me my CT scan was clear. So clear it didn't look like I was a smoker at one time. Now he's confused with my shortness of breath so I'm heading out the door soon to take a Stress Test. What if it hasn't been COPD but a heart condition. Lovely. We will see. I don't like do...	Cathyinaz	7	282	Jun 20, 2014 by Debilyn
	missing meetings (Preview) Due to work committments I have missed my meetings for the last 3 weeks. Ive been feeling a bit fearful in case I revert back to my old miserable self, but im doing not too bad. I can feel a bit of a decline and a bit panicky a couple of times but im getting good at using the tools. Ive been reading each day, conn...	el-cee	3	525	Jun 20, 2014 by neshema2
	Everything is a lie... AH (Preview) I recently married my bf of 6 yrs. He was almost 3 months sober and working the program but it seems like everything that comes out of his mouth is a lie whether he is drinking or not. from dec-April he completed detox, inpatient and outpatient relapse prevention. he relapsed late feb and then again at th...	deramam	17	10799	Jun 20, 2014 by Beatrice
	Pinkchip! (Preview) How many days? Any fun things you're doing as you prepare that you want to share with us? Any fun surprises you've received? Any requests from your MIP family? Looking forward to sharing your joy in some small way if you want to share some of it? If not, I'm still very excited for you. You've worked...	grateful2be	13	878	Jun 20, 2014 by el-cee
	My new life... (Preview) I am really excited to start this new chapter. I am ready to move forward and ready to heal. It is going to be a new adventure.	Truth	3	308	Jun 20, 2014 by grateful2be
	First step share (Preview) Share from "BLESSED " a new Member who posted to the Sticky at the top of the Board I transferred it so we could all read and share Thank you. I am new to the program; and just kind of glossed over Steps 1, 2, and 3, which of course I have aced and why I came to AlAnon to start with. However, as I s...	hotrod	6	410	Jun 20, 2014 by PP
	Wanted to share that I finally left (Preview) It was almost exactly a year ago today that I left the first time. I was a severely disturbed and depressed woman, scared she would hurt herself or others in the fury of the backlash of alcoholism. Today, I am learning to ask "what do I want?" Not even what's is best for this relationship or fu...	sadsusie	14	647	Jun 20, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Why do I feel like I have to answer their questions??? (Preview) A quick recap of my situation. My AH and I used to be coworkers. He was fired back in March. People ask me almost on a daily basis if he has a new job yet. They ask about my kids. They know we are separated. They ask about my new apartment. Question after question. How is he making it without a paycheck? Etc etc...	Newlife girl	15	645	Jun 20, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	The Avatar (Preview) I've been asked about my avatar which I posted as a humble reminder of who the real artist and creator is. The is the back view of a Peacock. The symmetrical beauty of this animal is awe inspiring to me. I've seen them strut and fan their tails and rarely have seen tis view of one like this. I have a pe...	Jerry F	9	433	Jun 20, 2014 by Jerry F
	I don't understand..... (Preview) I have not posted since my introduction but I do follow the forum everyday and find great comfort in the support here. I am so grateful to each of you for having the courage to share your journey and I wish that I had the same courage, but thank each of you! After reading another post today that sparked a tri...	mynewlife	4	509	Jun 20, 2014 by Katy
	New Here: How can I mourn her when she is still alive? (Preview) New Here. I just need a place to let loose where no one knows me or my sister. For seven years I've watched her fall into alcohol. It was subtle at first. I noticed she would never talk to me unless it was a crisis. No casual, "how are you?" or "what's new?" or "let's meet up&...	PaintItBlack	19	1420	Jun 19, 2014 by Jerry F
	A Rerun? (Preview) Maybe and maybe not and then there will be more maybe than not because a duck is a duck is a duck. Some of you might remember that part of my journey that included "Pinch and Roodie" the two duck chicks I rescued from my clients hotel who were abandoned by their mom. Well this one isn't named...	Jerry F	21	635	Jun 19, 2014 by Path to Serenity
	Today, I made my decision to move on (Preview) I visit this forum very often but don't post very often, but right now I just need to share (okay....vent). I feel like such a sucker. My ex and I broke up over a year ago due to his alcoholism. We have still been in contact and have even, at times, discussed the possibility of us getting back together if h...	LiveLaughLove	16	739	Jun 19, 2014 by LiveLaughLove
	scared new guy (Preview) Hi folks. I'm sure glad I stumbled across this site. I don't know how you determine when enough is enough, but it feels like I'm getting close. My wife left on Sunday to go to the beach with her parents while I stayed at home and kept working. I'm ashamed to say that it has been wonderful having her gone...	elmo7	10	470	Jun 19, 2014 by maryjane
	Charging money for helping someone who is depressed (Preview) I am helping out a person who was more of an acquaintance but is becoming more of a friend. She has been severely depressed. I have been helping her going on my 7th week. I'm there practically all day, everyday it seems. She is getting help so I don't feel I am enabling her by staying with her and helping her...	lucymae	17	493	Jun 19, 2014 by Debilyn
	Lesson in humility (Preview) I fooled myself for many years. I thought my spouse cared about me so much that she would get healthy and learn to control her addictions. NOT SO! Not even close. The addictions are her priority and let me learn this please. I cannot compete with them. Alcohol, food, and gambling, are so much more...	Lyne	10	537	Jun 19, 2014 by neshema2
	I broke my first bone.... (Preview) So I went roller skating with my kids at the park, which isn't that abnormal, we usually bike ride there. We play Frisbee golf there and go to the beach, but yesterday I fell roller skating and broke my right arm at the elbow, trying to catch myself. Of course it's my primary arm and I have to figure out how t...	Breakingfree	11	433	Jun 19, 2014 by pinkchip
	Making a moral inventory is hard. (Preview) I've been sitting here reading about Step 4 and thinking about the idea of making a moral inventory of myself. And it scares me. I don't really want to take a real deep look inside at myself because I'm afraid of what i will find. Will I find only emptiness. Maybe only bitterness and resentment. Or j...	slowlearner	8	855	Jun 19, 2014 by el-cee
	Anyone have a shopping problem as a coping mechanism? (Preview) I discovered the "high" of shopping when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I stole money from my father and went on a shopping spree. I've been doing it ever since and I will be 52. I don't steal money from anyone but I do steal from my husband and I lie and cheat with him. I know why I started this. It's...	lucymae	11	616	Jun 19, 2014 by barbaralewis
	I don't like when I feel this way (Preview) I have not been here in a long time. My husband was doing much better on his own. He found a good job and was happy. But for some reason in the past 2 weeks he is back to drinking AGAIN. I honestly do not know what gets into his head. His nasty attitude towards me is back and he actually blames me for his dri...	DebLisa55	12	738	Jun 19, 2014 by flinn66
	Just for today (Preview) I love to find proof that this program is truly a fellowship of equals . Inspired by "Slow Learners" use of the Just for Today bookmark , I have decided to follow her lead and take one portion of that little pamphlet and work it today. When I first came into program, I really loved t...	hotrod	5	325	Jun 18, 2014 by hotrod
	He wants a little bit of credit cause we had a nice day. (Preview) Lets forget for the moment that I had decided to move out. That no matter how hard I try, I DO love him. I am noticing (he is certainly pointing it out) that I am a negative nelly I do frequently point out the negatives. I will turn a positive conversation into a negative conversation. I am harping on him, a...	sadsusie	8	477	Jun 18, 2014 by tiredtonite
	14 Days and counting .. (Preview) Please keep the prayers coming because there is some wild stuff coming down the pipe. I have to let this go tonight and I'm soooo HOPING I'm wrong .. I sold the van a couple months ago and these folks got the van running and now are switching the title .. well .. there is a lien on the van .. now I did do some thi...	SerenityRUS	10	591	Jun 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	Oh Goody (Preview) Hi Everyone I thought I was OK with my COPD but I guess I'm not at night. The study shows my oxygen go's down below 80 and they said that's not good. So they are coming today to my house and check it out and set up oxygen for me. ??? Dang I don't need to start losing my health Oh and I just started a diet and t...	Cathyinaz	21	678	Jun 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	Plan for today... (Preview) Just for today... I am going to listen to my body and myself. I am going to listen for the times I am enabling. I am going to think before I speak or agree to something. I am not going to be the superachiever at work. But work well to the best of my abilities and not take on anyone else's projects and admit t...	slowlearner	11	431	Jun 18, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Hey JOHN dear! (c: (Preview) Is there any way an individual can make her sight of the board be like it was? I know I remember seeing an ascending and the other ,once? I am seeing posts from days ago first. Then I miss new ones. I am scrolling all over trying to find new ones. I hate to miss a newbies welcome! Also someone who I want to make s...	Debilyn	5	386	Jun 18, 2014 by Debilyn
	slogans are the gateway to the steps (Preview) My sponsor was telling me how the slogans are the gateway to the steps. Like practicing live and let live, saying it in your mind when you feel that need to get involved, is like practicing step 1. Do you use the slogans like this? -- Edited by el-cee on Tuesday 17th of June 2014 01:52:12 PM	el-cee	11	489	Jun 18, 2014 by hotrod
	So that didn't go to plan. ( 1 2 3 ) (Preview) So, feeling kind sad but determined to keep it together, I was due to have my brother and his girlfriend visit yesterday for the weekend and I went ahead with that plan and just cautioned my brother that I might not be totally animated and excitable as I'd had a bit of a hard day but would be really pleased t...	missmeliss	93	2157	Jun 18, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Would you, if you could? (Preview) Have you ever wanted to go back in time, undo something you've done? As you get older, wiser (snort), you can name moments where you think to yourself, if only.... If only I could go back and take a different path, that "other" road. But - would going back change things for the better? If going...	likemyheart	16	629	Jun 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	NO NO NO NO NO (Preview) Just Practicing lol	Truth	13	514	Jun 18, 2014 by missmeliss
	years of watching enabling. i finally BLEW! (Preview) hi everyone, my AS is enabled by my parents. they pay all of his bills and watch his child while he sleeps. they are there for him at the drop of a dime. he is their entire focus in life. (he doesn't work) 7 other grandchildren in the picture that my parents rarely notice as they are so addicted to my AS....	debhud	8	587	Jun 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
	New Some feedback or help at this point (Preview) I am fairly new to this board but have been in alanon for a while now and have been working on my recovery for many years. But it never fails that dealing with my original family members always seems to set me back so so much. I am so upset today and have been for days that I decided to post. My sister got marrie...	jacob53	4	392	Jun 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	Soaring on my own now.... (Preview) It is now starting to sink in that the one person I called when anything really good or bad was going on is no longer just a phone call away or on this earth any longer. There was really something special about having her as a sponsor and being able to say anything and not be judged for it and loved through it a...	Breakingfree	7	572	Jun 17, 2014 by Jerry F
	Alanon Daily Readers (Preview) The ODAT for today summarizes the first and second step. It reviews the difficulty of surrendering control and trusting that there is a power greater than ourselves that has any concern about us. I know when I first entered Al-Anon I did not have a faith in the Power Greater than MYSELF and for a num...	hotrod	15	469	Jun 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	Quote I heard... finding it (Preview) New to Al Anon... at my first meeting someone told me that maybe I was getting in the way of God and he had stepped up the problems for my daughter because she wasn't listening... really helped me... does anyone know where this quote comes from so I can read it? Thanks	TulsaMom	6	363	Jun 16, 2014 by TulsaMom
	How do I begin to gain strength? (Preview) Hello everyone. I have a question. I have been an enabler for years. Grew up with alcoholics and then married one. My self-esteem is so low. I'm a nervous wreck and hide in my comfort zone. My fight to excel above this situation is gone. I go to work and come home and sleep. I barely get the basics d...	slowlearner	11	626	Jun 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	LIAR LIAR .. (VENT!!) (Preview) OMGOSH .. I am SOOOO glad I took the kids to see their grandma. MANY reasons why .. the biggest so I could see for myself what is going on .. Now .. she was in a bad way on Monday .. she has terrible COPD (however that is .. lol .. I get confused) ... she's been in and out of the hospital for the last 10 years usuall...	SerenityRUS	15	545	Jun 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Dontcha know?? I gotta ASK b4 I can receive.... (Preview) So ok...I go on a short break to kinda get away, break up my being a part of the drama that went through here like a brush fire and I do teh ole step 4 again sponsor is with me, thank god she felt up to the task and also my sis who is ret. mental health counsellor.....anyway, i really got into the steps of aca - rep...	neshema2	29	629	Jun 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	One Bite At A Time (Preview) Overwhemed and Grateful. That's how I would best describe myself lately. My life, like any one else's here has its up's and down's. And it seems that the really big things don't bother me too much, but all the little things that I deal with on a frequent or fairly regular basis, do overwhelm me. Coll...	John	8	507	Jun 16, 2014 by grateful2be
	Avatar (Preview) FYI I changed my avatar in anticipation of summer and the July 4th Holiday	hotrod	8	318	Jun 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Is this wrong? (Preview) Struggling with what I'm currently doing. AH is still trying to control his drinking but he drinks throughout the day at times, just not enough to become drunk or obvious. I'm trying not to care and carry on but find myself trying to figure out his behavior so I know if son is safe with him outside (around...	Kerrymom	14	555	Jun 16, 2014 by milkwood
	Accepting Responsibility (Preview) K so today I am accepting responsibility for placing my trust into someone that was "showing" untrustworthy behavior. I am just wondering about moving forward. How will I know I am trusting the correct people? Would you think it would be if you set a boundary and they accept it?	Truth	17	459	Jun 15, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	How Al-Anon works book (Preview) Hi! I'm reading "How Al-Anon works" now. I part two "Al-Anon experiences", chapter 5 "A dual member copes with his mother's drinking" he tells :" I have been sober for 30 years". But later he tells:" After 13 years of sobriety, 13 years of Twelve Ste...	salvie	6	1678	Jun 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	Fear (Preview) I fear my son. my fear is that I don't want to see him this way. I don't want to hurt so much for him. I don't want to see or hear him hurting. I ask myself how to I remove this......... I DON'T KNOW HOW and that is fear in itself.	Cathyinaz	19	599	Jun 15, 2014 by Debilyn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.