Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

debhud · debhud

hi everyone, my AS is enabled by my parents. they pay all of his bills and watch his child while he sleeps. they are there for him at the drop of a dime. he is their entire focus in life. (he doesn't work) 7 other grandchildren in the picture that my parents rarely notice as they are so addicted to my AS....

jacob53 · jacob53

I am fairly new to this board but have been in alanon for a while now and have been working on my recovery for many years. But it never fails that dealing with my original family members always seems to set me back so so much. I am so upset today and have been for days that I decided to post. My sister got marrie...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

It is now starting to sink in that the one person I called when anything really good or bad was going on is no longer just a phone call away or on this earth any longer. There was really something special about having her as a sponsor and being able to say anything and not be judged for it and loved through it a...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT for today summarizes the first and second step. It reviews the difficulty of surrendering control and trusting that there is a power greater than ourselves that has any concern about us. I know when I first entered Al-Anon I did not have a faith in the Power Greater than MYSELF and for a num...

TulsaMom · TulsaMom

New to Al Anon... at my first meeting someone told me that maybe I was getting in the way of God and he had stepped up the problems for my daughter because she wasn't listening... really helped me... does anyone know where this quote comes from so I can read it? Thanks

slowlearner · slowlearner

Hello everyone. I have a question. I have been an enabler for years. Grew up with alcoholics and then married one. My self-esteem is so low. I'm a nervous wreck and hide in my comfort zone. My fight to excel above this situation is gone. I go to work and come home and sleep. I barely get the basics d...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

OMGOSH .. I am SOOOO glad I took the kids to see their grandma. MANY reasons why .. the biggest so I could see for myself what is going on .. Now .. she was in a bad way on Monday .. she has terrible COPD (however that is .. lol .. I get confused) ... she's been in and out of the hospital for the last 10 years usuall...

neshema2 · neshema2

So ok...I go on a short break to kinda get away, break up my being a part of the drama that went through here like a brush fire and I do teh ole step 4 again sponsor is with me, thank god she felt up to the task and also my sis who is ret. mental health counsellor.....anyway, i really got into the steps of aca - rep...

John · John

Overwhemed and Grateful. That's how I would best describe myself lately. My life, like any one else's here has its up's and down's. And it seems that the really big things don't bother me too much, but all the little things that I deal with on a frequent or fairly regular basis, do overwhelm me. Coll...

hotrod · hotrod

FYI I changed my avatar in anticipation of summer and the July 4th Holiday

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Struggling with what I'm currently doing. AH is still trying to control his drinking but he drinks throughout the day at times, just not enough to become drunk or obvious. I'm trying not to care and carry on but find myself trying to figure out his behavior so I know if son is safe with him outside (around...

Truth · Truth

K so today I am accepting responsibility for placing my trust into someone that was "showing" untrustworthy behavior. I am just wondering about moving forward. How will I know I am trusting the correct people? Would you think it would be if you set a boundary and they accept it?

salvie · salvie

Hi! I'm reading "How Al-Anon works" now. I part two "Al-Anon experiences", chapter 5 "A dual member copes with his mother's drinking" he tells :" I have been sober for 30 years". But later he tells:" After 13 years of sobriety, 13 years of Twelve Ste...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I fear my son. my fear is that I don't want to see him this way. I don't want to hurt so much for him. I don't want to see or hear him hurting. I ask myself how to I remove this......... I DON'T KNOW HOW and that is fear in itself.

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

Hi everyone! I hope that what I'm going to say makes sense.. In coping (or not coping) with my Qualifier...I find that I'm fearful of myself (not because I want to harm myself..I'd never do that!)..but I'm fearful of how angry I am towards myself for not coping with this better. Maybe this will help..I...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

my sponsor went to meet her maker at 8 pm tonight and she was surrounded by so much love. Her husband and I called our team of caregivers and we played music and told stories and with the moon shining off the lake out the back sliding doors we celebrated an amazing person leaving earth tonight. It was truly...

glad · glad

I haven't been on this board much over the last year. This morning as I read several post that all sounded so similar to my experience... The alcoholic lies, makes promises and then doesn't keep, blames it all on me, I'm angry and acting out with others etc. Yes, we are sick too because of the disease and I...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive been thinking about amends as I am planning to do some step work and work on step 8. I ahve made amends to my family through my changed attitude but I would like to make direct amends through an apology. However, I dont think anyone in my family would be comfortable with that. I imagine they will say no...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

When you think that it can't get anymore weirder .. My daughter text her dad to see about Father's Day visitation .. she gets back he can't as his mother is coming home from the hospital and so he will see them next weekend. Then proceeds to ask her if she's bored at home. The text I get is an awful picture o...

jm · jm

Hi..is there not a meeting on now?

Truth · Truth

I am in the process of getting my security system..... Yipee

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

It's been 3 years since I separated from my AH and a little over a year since his passing. I still think about him every day, but I'm moving forward. I've made new friends whom I never would have met if not for the way my life has turned out. I've recreated my life, and rediscovered my faith in my HP, whom I cal...

grateful2be · grateful2be

For all of you who are dads, or mentoring young people like a father might, or being a mom doing the work of both parents, I want to wish a happy time for you this weekend celebrating who you are and what you have been able to accomplish as a person who cares for a child. Happy Father's Day! -- Edited by gra...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I am powerless. Happy Fathers Day to all of the guys who are fathers here and else where and all of the mothers who are doing double duty, you are amazing. We are celebrating today, Saturday with my third son and his wife and daughters and I have memories of my other sons who are not here even when I wis...

JayBird66 · JayBird66

I'm living witha " productive(at least until 5pm) AH, my 13yr old daughter , and my 4yr old Son. Does anyone have any advice regarding explaining to my 13yr old what's really happening with her asshole A father? She absolutesly hates him because of how he acts while drinking, before drinking, a...

Needing Help · Needing Help

As I cry and write this I fight between my head and my heart. We have been married for almost 18 years and together for longer than that. Our marriage had it's normal set of ups and downs, but once the alcoholism/pain pills took over her life all hell broke loose. She had cheated on me with at least two ot...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I continue to contemplate staying or going. Yet, it has gotten more extreme. My AH is planning an overseas move. I had yet another conversation with him about how he is "ready" for therapy. He is waiting on our doctor, who is amazing and he met with a week and a half ago, to call him back with t...

George555 · George555

My wife came out of private detox a year ago. Before she went in I was physically and emotionally abusive towards her. I'd grab her arms and shake her or pin her down and scream at her. This has happened a number of time since she came out which has led up to her drinking again and has became dependant over t...

hopes314 · hopes314

I want to cry but the tears don't flow. My kids wonder why I don't cry about dad. I don't even know what is real. I hear my voice sayings things that I can't believe I am saying. I used to be nice and happy nowI am not sure what to feel. My husband said he quit drinking. I don't know what to believe because of...

Popcorn · Popcorn

So I have been actively going to al-anon meeting for a little over a month 3 days a week and I feel that it has really helped. I feel stronger and better about my self. I feel like I am in a better place. I tried al-anon a couple years ago and I just wasn't ready but I feel now I am. I'm actively looking for a sp...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am sooo grateful .. I just heard from my atty and what we will be doing is on 7/1 I will be divorced .. the Judge is over the delays. STBAX has NOT provided any financials and we are just trying to go over what we can and base the offer about what we know about .. soooo it's just going to take some time and I will...

missmeliss · missmeliss

He is like a baby. Things have deteriorated so fast, I guess they probably haven't but i wasn't aware before, i was too busy reacting to see the whole picture. He lies on his mattress in his underpants all day playing computer games surrounded by empty bottles and shouts at me. It's my fault he lost his jo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning All I have not tried to make contact with my son and he in turn has not called since the sentencing. I feel this guilt that I should reach out but again I don't want to. He hasn't reach out to me by calling so I have let it go. My thought is leave him alone to digest what is happening and not try...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

As some of you know I have done 12 years of home hospice private care and now I am glad to get to spend the time with my very own sponsor. She is an amazing lady and was released to go home and finish out her life on her terms. Her husband asked me to be a part of the care team and I am honored. She helped me through...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Today, my assistant and I finished cleaning two huge rooms in a local church building in the inner-City neighborhood where I hosted the oldest of my organization's children's programs. We've been working steadily in the humidity and heat throwing away dried up paint, sparkly glue, the lists of n...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So he hit me one too many times. He took my phone, smacked me in the head and would't let me leave the property, OMG I called the police and they took him away. Nothing makes sense. Nothing. He snarled and hated me so much as they took him, he was all sensible and woulnd't even look at me, OMG what have I done....

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been thinking a lot about how I am on the fence here "waiting" for A to get sober. At this point we are selling our house to move overseas. But in all reality, I am just ready to pay off our bills and to find an apartment while HE moves. That decision is still not a commitment though, cause I (...

1lostmom · 1lostmom

I have been doing so much better. I have been focusing on me and my daughter, going to meetings, hanging out with friends and spending time with family. I have been staying out of his drama, not instigating, de-escalating, backing off, letting things go instead of pushing And getting so much bett...

andromeda · andromeda

Well, my AH sat me down and had the, "I'm an alcoholic and you were right" talk. He admitted to his insanity, he praised me for being stubborn with my program and for holding the home and our lives together and for not kicking him out. He has found a sponsor and says he is ready to jump fully in t...

Truth · Truth

Lawyer says just say no. Starting to feel a little better. I got firm instructions from the lawyer. So of course this is going to escalate but I will be prepared.

Minneha · Minneha

My adult daughter (39) has been floundering all her life. In and out of programs, jail, the usual. She is currently living in a homeless shelter in a bad part of town. She called me and wanted me to give her some money I owe her so that she can take a bus to the Cape to stay with her father. She has her thing...

Pamela1954 · Pamela1954

It is time for me to get my 34 year old son out of the house. He relapsed. Said he would be out in a month, Detoxed at home and now I am finding strong evidence he is using again. He is very volatile and defensive when I ask him to leave. I am determined for him to leave by Monday. I want to write him a letter...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Well things have not got any better to much has happen since my last update . 2 weeks ago my A ex started to harass me again on the phone . I could not take any more verbal abuse I could not take any more how I ruined the marriage . I have a RO on him and I not once made a phone call to police all these times he bother m...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Got it all out and now to move on and look for the better in all this. There can be "BETTER" I know this because my HP told me so because he loves me and my son. ((( hugs )))

bail01 · bail01

I started dating him over 3.5 years ago and after about 6 months I had a feeling he had a drinking problem. It caused a lot of fights and I guess I just didn't want to admit that he actually was. About 2 years later we bought a house together and 8 months later he admitted that he was an alcoholic and addicted t...

ksmommy80 · ksmommy80

I met the alcoholic/drug addict in April 2013. I didn't know he was what he was until it was too late. I got pregnant two months into the relationship and "tried" to do the right thing by sticking with him. I'm 34 years old and was very careful. It really was an accident. In the process, I c...

Venera · Venera

I am strongly thinking about separating with my AH. What should I consider? I read that separation won't solve my problems, I need to be in al anon for at least 6 month before making any changes. I have not even started al anon yet. We are selling the house now, and will be out of it in 8 days. My dad is coming f...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57785803/alanon-step-8/

Truth · Truth

I feel relaxed and sleepy. It feels so good rather than feeling hyper-alert. It is so peaceful.

vakick · vakick

Apologies for the length of this post. I've been married to my alcoholic husband for almost 5 years. When we met, he drank, but nothing like now. He has anxiety, panic disorder, and a host of physical problems (fatty liver, chronic and bloody diarrhea, possible colitis, etc). He's a stay at home f...

John · John

Hi everyone, Previously the post at the top of the board would be based on the date it was started. Now, I have changed it so that when a post is replied to, it is moved to the top of the board, so the reply doesn't get lost at the bottom of the board and can be seen and replied to by both the original poster, as w...

grateful2be · grateful2be

I just want you to know that I hope this trial period on the reversal of the way the board works gets extended into a forever period. I am basically lazy and I am delighted I no longer have to scroll down the pages looking for highlighted posts. I love that posts are immediately available to read or to se...

Jerry F · Jerry F

from the clouds and drabness of life so that I can see the beauty all around me. Sometimes I need to see beauty which is totally unexpected to shake my senses into a gasp and a WOW!! Here is just one of those I got in the last day. I've got absolutely no sense of negative in me now. HP whispered "S...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well it's over. My son got 2.5 years and the judge was mad at him because what he said about his education, hard life and everything....my son thought that would help but it didn't....she gave him what the prosecutor wanted. She told him he should have known better being such a smart person. Why he con...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Well I have noticed my barn gate and front gate have been latched different two times.... Then someone decided my caretakers should not be living in their new fifth wheel....Many people have to leave their homes and move into their rv's. Someone made up a craigslist post as me, saying they had thirty s...

el-cee · el-cee

I decided to change my avatar to embrace my feminine side, do you like my picture? She was the only feminine or sexy chicken I could find, who would have thought there was a shortage of feminine chickens? Anyway, I want to put recent events behind me and remain grateful to be a member of this fellowship an...

likemyheart · likemyheart

It has taken me a while to determine exactly what "I" think and feel about the essay posts of late - see if you follow me here and I'll try to make my thoughts clear. I had two easy babies 14 years apart. Once I ate cauliflower and broccoli and gave one of them colic (I was nursing) and discovered t...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Well he is far from a hen but does love to strut around the hen house! He is quite beautiful and sweet as a lamb! No he is not A. But I love him anyway! (c:

intoit · intoit

Let me preface this by saying I am an artist and have been seriously for over the last decade. My creativity has been less than stellar for the last 5 years BUT Ever since I've been gong to al-anon I have learned so much about what I was needlessly carrying around with me. It is NOT my responsibility and s...

karma13 · karma13

I just want to say I am here to share my recovery, I am not here to pick other people apart. If my opinion differs I may state that. I'm feeling like things have gotten really ugly around here the past few days and I am wondering how that might appear to a newcomer that needs our help? Where is God in all this? w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	years of watching enabling. i finally BLEW! (Preview) hi everyone, my AS is enabled by my parents. they pay all of his bills and watch his child while he sleeps. they are there for him at the drop of a dime. he is their entire focus in life. (he doesn't work) 7 other grandchildren in the picture that my parents rarely notice as they are so addicted to my AS....	debhud	8	498	Jun 17, 2014 by Newlife girl
	New Some feedback or help at this point (Preview) I am fairly new to this board but have been in alanon for a while now and have been working on my recovery for many years. But it never fails that dealing with my original family members always seems to set me back so so much. I am so upset today and have been for days that I decided to post. My sister got marrie...	jacob53	4	317	Jun 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	Soaring on my own now.... (Preview) It is now starting to sink in that the one person I called when anything really good or bad was going on is no longer just a phone call away or on this earth any longer. There was really something special about having her as a sponsor and being able to say anything and not be judged for it and loved through it a...	Breakingfree	7	487	Jun 17, 2014 by Jerry F
	Alanon Daily Readers (Preview) The ODAT for today summarizes the first and second step. It reviews the difficulty of surrendering control and trusting that there is a power greater than ourselves that has any concern about us. I know when I first entered Al-Anon I did not have a faith in the Power Greater than MYSELF and for a num...	hotrod	15	390	Jun 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	Quote I heard... finding it (Preview) New to Al Anon... at my first meeting someone told me that maybe I was getting in the way of God and he had stepped up the problems for my daughter because she wasn't listening... really helped me... does anyone know where this quote comes from so I can read it? Thanks	TulsaMom	6	280	Jun 16, 2014 by TulsaMom
	How do I begin to gain strength? (Preview) Hello everyone. I have a question. I have been an enabler for years. Grew up with alcoholics and then married one. My self-esteem is so low. I'm a nervous wreck and hide in my comfort zone. My fight to excel above this situation is gone. I go to work and come home and sleep. I barely get the basics d...	slowlearner	11	533	Jun 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	LIAR LIAR .. (VENT!!) (Preview) OMGOSH .. I am SOOOO glad I took the kids to see their grandma. MANY reasons why .. the biggest so I could see for myself what is going on .. Now .. she was in a bad way on Monday .. she has terrible COPD (however that is .. lol .. I get confused) ... she's been in and out of the hospital for the last 10 years usuall...	SerenityRUS	15	460	Jun 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Dontcha know?? I gotta ASK b4 I can receive.... (Preview) So ok...I go on a short break to kinda get away, break up my being a part of the drama that went through here like a brush fire and I do teh ole step 4 again sponsor is with me, thank god she felt up to the task and also my sis who is ret. mental health counsellor.....anyway, i really got into the steps of aca - rep...	neshema2	29	541	Jun 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	One Bite At A Time (Preview) Overwhemed and Grateful. That's how I would best describe myself lately. My life, like any one else's here has its up's and down's. And it seems that the really big things don't bother me too much, but all the little things that I deal with on a frequent or fairly regular basis, do overwhelm me. Coll...	John	8	432	Jun 16, 2014 by grateful2be
	Avatar (Preview) FYI I changed my avatar in anticipation of summer and the July 4th Holiday	hotrod	8	226	Jun 16, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Is this wrong? (Preview) Struggling with what I'm currently doing. AH is still trying to control his drinking but he drinks throughout the day at times, just not enough to become drunk or obvious. I'm trying not to care and carry on but find myself trying to figure out his behavior so I know if son is safe with him outside (around...	Kerrymom	14	462	Jun 16, 2014 by milkwood
	Accepting Responsibility (Preview) K so today I am accepting responsibility for placing my trust into someone that was "showing" untrustworthy behavior. I am just wondering about moving forward. How will I know I am trusting the correct people? Would you think it would be if you set a boundary and they accept it?	Truth	17	371	Jun 15, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	How Al-Anon works book (Preview) Hi! I'm reading "How Al-Anon works" now. I part two "Al-Anon experiences", chapter 5 "A dual member copes with his mother's drinking" he tells :" I have been sober for 30 years". But later he tells:" After 13 years of sobriety, 13 years of Twelve Ste...	salvie	6	1172	Jun 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	Fear (Preview) I fear my son. my fear is that I don't want to see him this way. I don't want to hurt so much for him. I don't want to see or hear him hurting. I ask myself how to I remove this......... I DON'T KNOW HOW and that is fear in itself.	Cathyinaz	19	510	Jun 15, 2014 by Debilyn
	Fearful of myself & my actions towards others (Preview) Hi everyone! I hope that what I'm going to say makes sense.. In coping (or not coping) with my Qualifier...I find that I'm fearful of myself (not because I want to harm myself..I'd never do that!)..but I'm fearful of how angry I am towards myself for not coping with this better. Maybe this will help..I...	phoenixmagicgirl	8	376	Jun 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	It is done! (Preview) my sponsor went to meet her maker at 8 pm tonight and she was surrounded by so much love. Her husband and I called our team of caregivers and we played music and told stories and with the moon shining off the lake out the back sliding doors we celebrated an amazing person leaving earth tonight. It was truly...	Breakingfree	11	551	Jun 15, 2014 by Debilyn
	I got out of the tunnel ! (Preview) I haven't been on this board much over the last year. This morning as I read several post that all sounded so similar to my experience... The alcoholic lies, makes promises and then doesn't keep, blames it all on me, I'm angry and acting out with others etc. Yes, we are sick too because of the disease and I...	glad	6	348	Jun 15, 2014 by neshema2
	making amends (Preview) Ive been thinking about amends as I am planning to do some step work and work on step 8. I ahve made amends to my family through my changed attitude but I would like to make direct amends through an apology. However, I dont think anyone in my family would be comfortable with that. I imagine they will say no...	el-cee	12	4992	Jun 15, 2014 by neshema2
	You know .. (Preview) When you think that it can't get anymore weirder .. My daughter text her dad to see about Father's Day visitation .. she gets back he can't as his mother is coming home from the hospital and so he will see them next weekend. Then proceeds to ask her if she's bored at home. The text I get is an awful picture o...	SerenityRUS	6	399	Jun 15, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	meeting? (Preview) Hi..is there not a meeting on now?	jm	0	151	Jun 15, 2014 by jm
	One security system......check (Preview) I am in the process of getting my security system..... Yipee	Truth	13	466	Jun 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	Life Does Get Better (Preview) It's been 3 years since I separated from my AH and a little over a year since his passing. I still think about him every day, but I'm moving forward. I've made new friends whom I never would have met if not for the way my life has turned out. I've recreated my life, and rediscovered my faith in my HP, whom I cal...	Green Eyes	4	303	Jun 15, 2014 by hotrod
	Happy Father's Day Weekend (Preview) For all of you who are dads, or mentoring young people like a father might, or being a mom doing the work of both parents, I want to wish a happy time for you this weekend celebrating who you are and what you have been able to accomplish as a person who cares for a child. Happy Father's Day! -- Edited by gra...	grateful2be	15	453	Jun 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	I have wishes and still (Preview) I am powerless. Happy Fathers Day to all of the guys who are fathers here and else where and all of the mothers who are doing double duty, you are amazing. We are celebrating today, Saturday with my third son and his wife and daughters and I have memories of my other sons who are not here even when I wis...	Jerry F	7	412	Jun 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	Should I explain..... (Preview) I'm living witha " productive(at least until 5pm) AH, my 13yr old daughter , and my 4yr old Son. Does anyone have any advice regarding explaining to my 13yr old what's really happening with her asshole A father? She absolutesly hates him because of how he acts while drinking, before drinking, a...	JayBird66	9	476	Jun 15, 2014 by neshema2
	AW sober, but still cheating... ( 1 2 ) (Preview) As I cry and write this I fight between my head and my heart. We have been married for almost 18 years and together for longer than that. Our marriage had it's normal set of ups and downs, but once the alcoholism/pain pills took over her life all hell broke loose. She had cheated on me with at least two ot...	Needing Help	42	1261	Jun 14, 2014 by hotrod
	In effect I am being asked to choose between my recovery or his potential recovery (Preview) I continue to contemplate staying or going. Yet, it has gotten more extreme. My AH is planning an overseas move. I had yet another conversation with him about how he is "ready" for therapy. He is waiting on our doctor, who is amazing and he met with a week and a half ago, to call him back with t...	sadsusie	15	578	Jun 14, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Abuse (Preview) My wife came out of private detox a year ago. Before she went in I was physically and emotionally abusive towards her. I'd grab her arms and shake her or pin her down and scream at her. This has happened a number of time since she came out which has led up to her drinking again and has became dependant over t...	George555	12	847	Jun 14, 2014 by neshema2
	What is real anymore?i am insane! (Preview) I want to cry but the tears don't flow. My kids wonder why I don't cry about dad. I don't even know what is real. I hear my voice sayings things that I can't believe I am saying. I used to be nice and happy nowI am not sure what to feel. My husband said he quit drinking. I don't know what to believe because of...	hopes314	14	603	Jun 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	Dating An Active Drinker (Preview) So I have been actively going to al-anon meeting for a little over a month 3 days a week and I feel that it has really helped. I feel stronger and better about my self. I feel like I am in a better place. I tried al-anon a couple years ago and I just wasn't ready but I feel now I am. I'm actively looking for a sp...	Popcorn	7	632	Jun 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	Start Praying now .. (Preview) I am sooo grateful .. I just heard from my atty and what we will be doing is on 7/1 I will be divorced .. the Judge is over the delays. STBAX has NOT provided any financials and we are just trying to go over what we can and base the offer about what we know about .. soooo it's just going to take some time and I will...	SerenityRUS	4	274	Jun 13, 2014 by Green Eyes
	the albatross (Preview) He is like a baby. Things have deteriorated so fast, I guess they probably haven't but i wasn't aware before, i was too busy reacting to see the whole picture. He lies on his mattress in his underpants all day playing computer games surrounded by empty bottles and shouts at me. It's my fault he lost his jo...	missmeliss	10	316	Jun 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	I need to ask about feelings (Preview) Good Morning All I have not tried to make contact with my son and he in turn has not called since the sentencing. I feel this guilt that I should reach out but again I don't want to. He hasn't reach out to me by calling so I have let it go. My thought is leave him alone to digest what is happening and not try...	Cathyinaz	19	825	Jun 13, 2014 by hotrod
	Doing hospice for my sponsor (Preview) As some of you know I have done 12 years of home hospice private care and now I am glad to get to spend the time with my very own sponsor. She is an amazing lady and was released to go home and finish out her life on her terms. Her husband asked me to be a part of the care team and I am honored. She helped me through...	Breakingfree	11	381	Jun 13, 2014 by neshema2
	Saying goodbye with gratitude (Preview) Today, my assistant and I finished cleaning two huge rooms in a local church building in the inner-City neighborhood where I hosted the oldest of my organization's children's programs. We've been working steadily in the humidity and heat throwing away dried up paint, sparkly glue, the lists of n...	grateful2be	14	437	Jun 13, 2014 by neshema2
	So I called the cops. (Preview) So he hit me one too many times. He took my phone, smacked me in the head and would't let me leave the property, OMG I called the police and they took him away. Nothing makes sense. Nothing. He snarled and hated me so much as they took him, he was all sensible and woulnd't even look at me, OMG what have I done....	missmeliss	38	875	Jun 13, 2014 by Debilyn
	Doing nice things for me is all in relation to A's bad behavior. (Preview) I have been thinking a lot about how I am on the fence here "waiting" for A to get sober. At this point we are selling our house to move overseas. But in all reality, I am just ready to pay off our bills and to find an apartment while HE moves. That decision is still not a commitment though, cause I (...	sadsusie	8	338	Jun 13, 2014 by el-cee
	Hurting (Preview) I have been doing so much better. I have been focusing on me and my daughter, going to meetings, hanging out with friends and spending time with family. I have been staying out of his drama, not instigating, de-escalating, backing off, letting things go instead of pushing And getting so much bett...	1lostmom	4	335	Jun 13, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Bring on the recovery roller coaster (Preview) Well, my AH sat me down and had the, "I'm an alcoholic and you were right" talk. He admitted to his insanity, he praised me for being stubborn with my program and for holding the home and our lives together and for not kicking him out. He has found a sponsor and says he is ready to jump fully in t...	andromeda	24	451	Jun 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Lawyer says.... (Preview) Lawyer says just say no. Starting to feel a little better. I got firm instructions from the lawyer. So of course this is going to escalate but I will be prepared.	Truth	11	247	Jun 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	perspective needed (Preview) My adult daughter (39) has been floundering all her life. In and out of programs, jail, the usual. She is currently living in a homeless shelter in a bad part of town. She called me and wanted me to give her some money I owe her so that she can take a bus to the Cape to stay with her father. She has her thing...	Minneha	1	158	Jun 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Advice needed (Preview) It is time for me to get my 34 year old son out of the house. He relapsed. Said he would be out in a month, Detoxed at home and now I am finding strong evidence he is using again. He is very volatile and defensive when I ask him to leave. I am determined for him to leave by Monday. I want to write him a letter...	Pamela1954	4	394	Jun 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Update A went on a binge (Preview) Well things have not got any better to much has happen since my last update . 2 weeks ago my A ex started to harass me again on the phone . I could not take any more verbal abuse I could not take any more how I ruined the marriage . I have a RO on him and I not once made a phone call to police all these times he bother m...	Wisdom67	7	452	Jun 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	I have stopped crying (Preview) Got it all out and now to move on and look for the better in all this. There can be "BETTER" I know this because my HP told me so because he loves me and my son. ((( hugs )))	Cathyinaz	12	436	Jun 12, 2014 by Rose50
	Marrying an Alcoholic (Preview) I started dating him over 3.5 years ago and after about 6 months I had a feeling he had a drinking problem. It caused a lot of fights and I guess I just didn't want to admit that he actually was. About 2 years later we bought a house together and 8 months later he admitted that he was an alcoholic and addicted t...	bail01	21	548	Jun 12, 2014 by bail01
	Really need support :*( (Preview) I met the alcoholic/drug addict in April 2013. I didn't know he was what he was until it was too late. I got pregnant two months into the relationship and "tried" to do the right thing by sticking with him. I'm 34 years old and was very careful. It really was an accident. In the process, I c...	ksmommy80	6	281	Jun 12, 2014 by John
	Separation? (Preview) I am strongly thinking about separating with my AH. What should I consider? I read that separation won't solve my problems, I need to be in al anon for at least 6 month before making any changes. I have not even started al anon yet. We are selling the house now, and will be out of it in 8 days. My dad is coming f...	Venera	11	606	Jun 12, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Step 8 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57785803/alanon-step-8/	hotrod	2	311	Jun 12, 2014 by hotrod
	Wow feeling relaxed... And sleepy (Preview) I feel relaxed and sleepy. It feels so good rather than feeling hyper-alert. It is so peaceful.	Truth	5	212	Jun 12, 2014 by el-cee
	He says I'm responsible...am I?? (Preview) Apologies for the length of this post. I've been married to my alcoholic husband for almost 5 years. When we met, he drank, but nothing like now. He has anxiety, panic disorder, and a host of physical problems (fatty liver, chronic and bloody diarrhea, possible colitis, etc). He's a stay at home f...	vakick	11	450	Jun 12, 2014 by el-cee
	Slight change in message board format... Please read. (Preview) Hi everyone, Previously the post at the top of the board would be based on the date it was started. Now, I have changed it so that when a post is replied to, it is moved to the top of the board, so the reply doesn't get lost at the bottom of the board and can be seen and replied to by both the original poster, as w...	John	17	659	Jun 12, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	I'm lazy - note to John (Preview) I just want you to know that I hope this trial period on the reversal of the way the board works gets extended into a forever period. I am basically lazy and I am delighted I no longer have to scroll down the pages looking for highlighted posts. I love that posts are immediately available to read or to se...	grateful2be	6	303	Jun 12, 2014 by Jill
	I need to take breaks (Preview) from the clouds and drabness of life so that I can see the beauty all around me. Sometimes I need to see beauty which is totally unexpected to shake my senses into a gasp and a WOW!! Here is just one of those I got in the last day. I've got absolutely no sense of negative in me now. HP whispered "S...	Jerry F	15	436	Jun 12, 2014 by Sweet Stanley
	I can't stop crying (Preview) Well it's over. My son got 2.5 years and the judge was mad at him because what he said about his education, hard life and everything....my son thought that would help but it didn't....she gave him what the prosecutor wanted. She told him he should have known better being such a smart person. Why he con...	Cathyinaz	15	565	Jun 11, 2014 by Jerry F
	Harrassment ugh! (Preview) Well I have noticed my barn gate and front gate have been latched different two times.... Then someone decided my caretakers should not be living in their new fifth wheel....Many people have to leave their homes and move into their rv's. Someone made up a craigslist post as me, saying they had thirty s...	Debilyn	5	369	Jun 11, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	My new image (Preview) I decided to change my avatar to embrace my feminine side, do you like my picture? She was the only feminine or sexy chicken I could find, who would have thought there was a shortage of feminine chickens? Anyway, I want to put recent events behind me and remain grateful to be a member of this fellowship an...	el-cee	8	381	Jun 11, 2014 by el-cee
	What the Essay Posts brought to mind (Preview) It has taken me a while to determine exactly what "I" think and feel about the essay posts of late - see if you follow me here and I'll try to make my thoughts clear. I had two easy babies 14 years apart. Once I ate cauliflower and broccoli and gave one of them colic (I was nursing) and discovered t...	likemyheart	18	758	Jun 11, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Introducing Rocky (Preview) Well he is far from a hen but does love to strut around the hen house! He is quite beautiful and sweet as a lamb! No he is not A. But I love him anyway! (c:	Debilyn	3	171	Jun 11, 2014 by Breakingfree
	freedom to create (Preview) Let me preface this by saying I am an artist and have been seriously for over the last decade. My creativity has been less than stellar for the last 5 years BUT Ever since I've been gong to al-anon I have learned so much about what I was needlessly carrying around with me. It is NOT my responsibility and s...	intoit	6	329	Jun 11, 2014 by intoit
	Prayers for the boards/ how I'm feeling (Preview) I just want to say I am here to share my recovery, I am not here to pick other people apart. If my opinion differs I may state that. I'm feeling like things have gotten really ugly around here the past few days and I am wondering how that might appear to a newcomer that needs our help? Where is God in all this? w...	karma13	20	649	Jun 11, 2014 by PP
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.