Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Advocate_For_Steve · Advocate_For_Steve

Hi there! I'm struggling with a situation which I think boils down to setting healthy boundaries in a relationship, along with keeping my nose in my own business. Looking for some E/H/S on this... I'm engaged to my AF, and my sponsor has been amazing at guiding me through my Al-Anon program. My AF is in h...

Flossy · Flossy

It happened again yesterday, it's insane. Is he intentionally trying to crazy make?! I was heading to a friends babies 1st birthday party yesterday when out of the blue (ex)ABF sends me a message saying he was at an AA meeting. Now I've not known him to attend a Saturday morning meeting EVER in the 18...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi everyone After my pretty desperate post earlier this week, I wanted to share that I'm feeling more hopeful today! Not of my AH not drinking anymore (let go of that a while ago) but of my ability to manage my reactions better. Don't get me wrong, I know I still have a really long way to go, & I expect se...

Flossy · Flossy

Has anyone come across their As having itchy skin? My (ex)ABF has had this thing for the past year where he constantly scratches his side overnight, to the extent that it wakes me up. He doesn't even know he's doing it. I've said to him about it and he claims it's to do with my cats but he's also done it wh...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, I have been to an AA convention today with Al anon participation. My ABf is active again after two years sobriety. I stuck to my boundary after he stayed out over night and he moved out. I can not believe how much I have changed, I have detached and I am grabbing on to al anon with both hands. Meeti...

blessed · blessed

Today, I got to practice LIVE, AND LET LIVE. I was home for lunch, with my son, and a knock on the door. My son answered and I hear him ask for my AH. My son said he wasn't here.... Anyway, it turns out it is a man here to mow our yard. Seriously! lol! They measure our lawns in square feet; not acres. He has only...

milkwood · milkwood

I've been drifting down a bit recently and then I had a wonderful day out with friends and I can't tell you how much that has raised my spirits. It is so easy to stay at home here but being with others really is important for me. In the morning I went and had coffee with a girlfriend and her family. She had m...

lookingup · lookingup

The other woman that my abf said he did not cheat on me sent my abf a text to his phone two days- ago text said ....I love you. I had asked my abf to look at his icons on his ph. And I saw a messenger icon so I opened it up and to my surprise there she was agin.abf said he hadn't a clue that was there he then opened up th...

hotrod · hotrod

We are once again beginning to work the steps in order , on the Step Work Board.I have just posted the First Step, my reflections and some important questions that can be responded to in order to help work the step. Please join us with your comments. ThanksLearn How The Twelve Steps Work. http:/...

PP · PP

Just stopping in to say hello. I am home, exhausted and happy to be home. My daughter rented a car for me to drive home today..it was time for all of us to get back to our routines. Now, time for some popcorn and quiet. Hugs to all!

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

So, things have been good lately, but even so I'm being selfish. My husband and his family are at the fair today, and I have the house and the day aaaaaaall to myself. I feel a little bad because it's raining, and his allergies were making him feel miserable (well, that was his excuse anyway). But, you kn...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well no court date, nothing new, same ol' same ol' pretty much. The kids are headed back to school and my girl is officially driving us everywhere. She passed her driver's ed class and is thrilled to be in the drivers seat. I'm very proud of her .. :) she is a GREAT driver and is doing sooo good. Yester...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Where to start? My mom has bladder cancer, just diagnosed, not even sure the path they are going to want her to take. My cat died, she was 12 years old and I find myself arguing with someone who says, she wasnt that old.. why am I even trying with those type of people? Cats live as long as they live eh? And my do...

lookingup · lookingup

Abf was trying to get me back ,calls,texts,dropping in unexpectedly.etc.i finally talked to him. He just wanted to hold me tight and not let go.said he had to be with me everyday.he is back to himself doing better than ever,scary,I was on my road to recovery for sure was not expecting this to happen.he...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok .. I think I know the answer for my situation however I am looking for some perspectives .. I am going to go off fully loaded if we have ANY more issues with this. If I do this there will be supervised visits going forward. My STBX "forgets" what he has on his phone. My son who is 10, I'm an on...

lookingup · lookingup

What would be my self are when it comes to abf,what should I allow and what I should not allow.what are or would be manipulates that abf uses?,and what are enablers that I could be useing to my abf?when should I speak up for what I believe in?how do I take cate of me weather he is drinking or not drinking or us...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Hi All. 3 years ago I had something happen with a guy that brought me back a lot character assassination. But I did not respond to it because I knew I had a part in it and had hurt him. Maybe when it got too big I should have set a boundary, I don't know. A lot of people used it to inate their egos (including my own...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I am really sad about Robin Williams. I have noticed in the news how they keep saying "If you know someone with depression, there is help! Here's how to get it!" Well, that's all fine and dandy IF the person WANTS help! I know the media probably means well, I get it. But it just made me think abou...

Tampa · Tampa

Todays Spiritual Study will be: Taking A BreakMeeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html . There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4al...

blessed · blessed

http://moregreatminds.com/8-ways-to-protect-yourself-from-emotional-manipulation/

Robean · Robean

Hi, all. New to online forum, have been going to Al-Anon since September of last year. I love my home group, but have been wanting to expand my support network to include some online resources. Did my reading today, and this particular line really struck me: "Does the voice of God have a chance to...

hope4ever · hope4ever

I have really been struggling lately. I have a real problem with intimacy and I push my husband away a lot. Even when he tries to hold my hand I don't want to. I find it easier to push him away than embracing his love for me. I have been getting very critical with him and analyzing everything he says and doe...

texasgal · texasgal

So far so good with my job . I had an issue with on of my friends. She has been dating a man who is a user. She has been borrowing money from our other friends. So far she has paid everyone back I only lent her one time a year ago and told her never to ask me again I do not like to mix friendships or family with money ....

furneem · furneem

Hi All, I am the wife of an in denial alcoholic. I spend my days worrying he has been drinking and he seems to spend his days covering up that he has been drinking His family sat him down last week in a kind of intervention and all was ok for a few days. I have been away and come back today and within 3 hours we w...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It is crunch time. Our agreed moving date approaches. ABF is trying the meek, mild, "butter wouldn't melt in his mouth and he doesn't know why I am so cold and distant but since we are forever and ever, he'll wait, and turn the other cheek if I fail to kiss the first one" approach. (That's a thin...

joker · joker

It was good to reread my last post I had put up. Lately I have been obsessing again with the alcoholic bf and his drinking. His pattern is he will be sober for 3 days and then go on a bender that last 24 hours a day, wake up, drink. pass out and start all over again. Is insane. This past week, he was able to stay so...

nichtdaisy · nichtdaisy

Hi, everyone. I just stumbled upon this forum while looking for support. I'll say right upfront that I am not in AlAlon, and I don't really know how to talk the talk or walk the walk. I'm feeling around in the dark here. I just know that AlAnon is a place for people like me who let their lives get taken ov...

jay1112 · jay1112

Hello everyone, I haven't attended an al-anon meeting or seen a counselor about my family in years. But tonight and recent events made me realize it's probably necessary, and worth it. I'm really not sure where to start, so I'll start with tonight. I told my parents something that's been brewing in my...

sookie · sookie

Wow--a *long* time since I posted but it has been years that I have been coming here. Last night I told my AH (who has been moved out for THREE years now) that I want a divorce. I have struggled for what feels like eternity about this decision and everyone told me that I would know when the time was right what...

Hapilynn · Hapilynn

Spouse and i are self employed because we own some rental property. Most of the time it's a lot of work, landscaping, painting, fixing building, and when people move, sometimes a real load of work when they leave a big mess. Most of this work is on me, except for the plumbing or electric. Like i was say...

Flossy · Flossy

I'm new to this, completely new! Until just over a year ago I had a very happy independent life. I have a very good job, a lovely home, amazing friends and was very sociable. Then I met an alcoholic. Obviously when I met him I had no idea he was an alcoholic but a few months in it became very apparent, he ev...

DontKnow1717 · DontKnow1717

Almost a year ago, I told H I wanted a divorce because I was sick of the lying and the drinking and the drugs. He begged for forgiveness, started going to meetings almost every day, starting seeing an addiction counselor. Life started being pretty great. Then his work got busy, and he slowly stopped goi...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

This seems to be the way most systems are set up - for special education services, for child protection services, and it turns out when trying to protect your children from visitation with an A. no offense to child protection workers but there have been several children who I would have to make reports...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've seen this same picture through so many different eyes. This is my favorite place so, I come here a lot. For a long time, I would only come here with ABF (because if he didn't want to come then what was the POINT?) So I saw this view through tears, mostly, because we would do our best fighting when we were...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Ok...so I went to an AA meeting last night and the topic was "resentments" and how to deal with them. This is a very common topic in AA. I think it's common in Alanon too but not so much because for A's it takes some sort of "uncovering" and humbling to come to the realization we hav...

ClearTheFog · ClearTheFog

Ah vacation time. I just got back from spending time with my family (separate continents). I miss them most of the time of course and spending a few intense weeks or days with them a few years apart is not optimal, and tends to bring out the worst in everyone. It shouldn't but it does. Before I left, I thoug...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

My ah has been sober for a few days because he has gout in his foot. For anyone who doesn't know, gout is an extremely painful inflammatory disease affecting the joints usually in the feet (ankle and big toe usually.) And, of course, alcohol is one of the contributors to this disease. Anyway, he's been i...

Temple · Temple

I have an email friend. We commiserate and buck each other up. Her husband isn't an A, but has a lesion in his brain and it's hard to tell the difference. Neither one of then is particularly curious about our emails, but just to make sure, when we are grousing about the situation around our houses, we gi...

el-cee · el-cee

I never reached out and went to alanon until I was 40, I had heard of it before and considered in my 20s but I was so full of resentment I refused to do anything that might help the alcoholic in my life. I thought it was about the a. As soon as I took a seat and listened to the preamble and then the shares around th...

AshleyA · AshleyA

I don't even know where to begin. I have been in a tumultuous relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years. I have moved in and out of his place twice. I recently gave up my apartment and am now back with him, and I regret moving. He is very abusive when he drinks. Nothing had happened for almost a year, w...

carlie01 · carlie01

HI I am so glad to have found this forum! My father died of chirosis of the liver when I was 21 and he was 53. Now 14 years later I am seperated from my husband over my concerns with his drinking. He drinks daily and is in denial over his dependance on alcohol he thinks I am paranoid after losing my dad to this...

Flower49 · Flower49

The Cornhusker AA, AFG and Al-ateen round-up starts tonite! I was being excited about attending some of the events and speakers. Now, I am struggling with going. My AH an his house mates will be there for the event as well. I am thinking maybe I just shouldn't go at all. They will be stupid and immature an...

Hapilynn · Hapilynn

I've been married 31 years and my husband drinks a lot. If someone drinks 8 to 10 beers every night, are they an alcoholic? He only got one DUI many years ago, now he stays home to drink and he only drinks in the evening. I know this isn't good for him because, his memory is shot, his blood pressure is thro...

Cooper · Cooper

I have come to absolutely hate alcohol and everything to do with it. I grew up in a family of mean drunks and started on the same road before I stopped because of tragedy and embarrassment when I was 22. I married a woman who came from a similar family but claimed to want to be away from that lifestyle, in...

americana-n-mx · americana-n-mx

I've been involved with an alcoholic most of the past 30 yrs in one form or another. Alcohol consumption has been manageable for myself. I can take it or leave it. I often drink water when out with friends or my fiancé because I don't want to drink soda (the alternative to alcohol in most places). I hav...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I have a lot of rage right now. i keep trying to expel it . It is a very nasty feeling. I am usually very calm and fairly easy going person. So this rage is burning me up. My abusers are circling me right now, i know that is the reason for my rage. My MIL treats this as a marital issue, not a dry alcoholic issue. hi...

Temple · Temple

I was reminded of a Byron Katie quote: "Before (enlightenment), my religion was that my children should pick up their socks." To all the mothers.... Temple

Flower49 · Flower49

I went to a court review for my AH today, nothing changed because as usual the people that are the powers to be in his life don't show up....can you imagine if he didn't show up when he is told too...they don't set a good example. Anyway, his PO was talking to him and he was going on and on about how great he is...

Katy · Katy

I am still very emotional very unsettled lots of thoughts and feelings, We are not fighting and seem to be getting along much better, I am still fighting my own acceptence though of what was what I needed and what I got, I understand he could not meet my needs he didn't know how, in five weeks I have started...

lookingup · lookingup

I know it's my greiveing him not being here anymore and the way he hurt me that's the way I'm acting I'm angry and hurt at the same time by his actions,he called me 3times yesterday I didn't answer then he called my friends phone I told her to tell him I wasn't here so she did he just calling like i thought was t...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I was reading in Courage to Change, page 117, and wanted to share. The most important words many of us hear when we first come to Al-Anon are, "Take what you like and leave the rest." Everything about our program is suggested, not required. This gives us the freedom to pick and choose. If we di...

lookingup · lookingup

Then he called me several times last nite and this morning early i don't answer his calls he finally texted me this morning early 4:30 am and texted and what I was doing that he missed me.i did text back finally and said really after all the pain you caused me he texted back naw I was just saying that ,well w...

el-cee · el-cee

This is Glencoe in the Highlands. Its a glaciated valley quite high above sea level. The mountains were hidden by cloud that day but its truly a mysterious, powerful place. Its quite intimidating, your surrounded by rocky mountains, its usually quite dark due to the depth of the Glen or valley. I tho...

ponygal · ponygal

I feel like I have tried everything and nothing works unless I stand my ground. I will not cave to my alcoholic spouse's verbal abuse, demands and moods! He yells at me he is gonna get it right back. I tried Alanon face to face meetings in my last city and found them to cause me depression and then more resen...

Aloha · Aloha

So very sad at the news of Robin Williams. This disease is just such a monster. It's even more frustrating for me to see someone who really is trying with all their heart and still have the disease take them down, either through an overdose, an accident, or in Robin's case depression and suicide. Prayer...

MCALANON · MCALANON

so my AS seems to have 'detoxed/reduced his drinking for c4 weeks now (unless he's just got very good at covering up - tho I am not pursuing him as I was). But, he is still stressed: he has always been nervy/poor self esteem- suffered with anxiety. He does have 'real' issues to deal with - separation, a w...

blessed · blessed

17 years ago; my ex left me and his son penniless & I mean penniless. He was ruthless and drug me through the courts for years until, finally, a judge dismissed his case on he didn't have a case; other than letigious harassment (using the court system to harass another person). $$$$ Now, as #2 is kick...

LinSC · LinSC

Sister in her late 40's decided to stop drinking on her own. No program. Lives 500 miles away so I don't get to see her in person very often. I am new to this program. How do I start helping her? She has a no good for nothing bf who she is trying to come back to her. She has two daughters. Has a good job. What do I do...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Where do I start? I just need to vent to my wonderful people here who understand and help me so much! Having an anxiety filled day. Oldest left for college, which is 9 hrs away. It's her 3rd year. Sounds too far away for me. Her dad drove with her. I started to feel so sad later after she left. she just turned 2...

lookingup · lookingup

Stayed all night with my friend her air was extra cold inside her home got up this morning with a sick with a horrible cold and hurting foot,what's next?im hopeing this all gets better soon Maybe this will help me to keep the focus on myself also.thanks agin for comments and listening to my problems.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Two Ppl, Two Programs...right? engaged recovery anxiety conversation feelings step work (Preview) Hi there! I'm struggling with a situation which I think boils down to setting healthy boundaries in a relationship, along with keeping my nose in my own business. Looking for some E/H/S on this... I'm engaged to my AF, and my sponsor has been amazing at guiding me through my Al-Anon program. My AF is in h...	Advocate_For_Steve	5	8391	Aug 18, 2014 by maryjane
	Crazy Making! (Preview) It happened again yesterday, it's insane. Is he intentionally trying to crazy make?! I was heading to a friends babies 1st birthday party yesterday when out of the blue (ex)ABF sends me a message saying he was at an AA meeting. Now I've not known him to attend a Saturday morning meeting EVER in the 18...	Flossy	17	720	Aug 18, 2014 by pinkchip
	Feeling hopeful (Preview) Hi everyone After my pretty desperate post earlier this week, I wanted to share that I'm feeling more hopeful today! Not of my AH not drinking anymore (let go of that a while ago) but of my ability to manage my reactions better. Don't get me wrong, I know I still have a really long way to go, & I expect se...	Tash2	3	387	Aug 18, 2014 by PP
	Itchy Skin (Preview) Has anyone come across their As having itchy skin? My (ex)ABF has had this thing for the past year where he constantly scratches his side overnight, to the extent that it wakes me up. He doesn't even know he's doing it. I've said to him about it and he claims it's to do with my cats but he's also done it wh...	Flossy	11	538	Aug 18, 2014 by Mattie
	today I matter (Preview) Hi All, I have been to an AA convention today with Al anon participation. My ABf is active again after two years sobriety. I stuck to my boundary after he stayed out over night and he moved out. I can not believe how much I have changed, I have detached and I am grabbing on to al anon with both hands. Meeti...	Tracy	9	469	Aug 18, 2014 by SunshineGirl
	Live and Let Live (Preview) Today, I got to practice LIVE, AND LET LIVE. I was home for lunch, with my son, and a knock on the door. My son answered and I hear him ask for my AH. My son said he wasn't here.... Anyway, it turns out it is a man here to mow our yard. Seriously! lol! They measure our lawns in square feet; not acres. He has only...	blessed	8	700	Aug 18, 2014 by michaelwriting
	Stepping out helps (Preview) I've been drifting down a bit recently and then I had a wonderful day out with friends and I can't tell you how much that has raised my spirits. It is so easy to stay at home here but being with others really is important for me. In the morning I went and had coffee with a girlfriend and her family. She had m...	milkwood	6	318	Aug 17, 2014 by Jerry F
	Again and again (Preview) The other woman that my abf said he did not cheat on me sent my abf a text to his phone two days- ago text said ....I love you. I had asked my abf to look at his icons on his ph. And I saw a messenger icon so I opened it up and to my surprise there she was agin.abf said he hadn't a clue that was there he then opened up th...	lookingup	10	554	Aug 17, 2014 by Mattie
	First Step (Preview) We are once again beginning to work the steps in order , on the Step Work Board.I have just posted the First Step, my reflections and some important questions that can be responded to in order to help work the step. Please join us with your comments. ThanksLearn How The Twelve Steps Work. http:/...	hotrod	0	254	Aug 17, 2014 by hotrod
	A quick hello (Preview) Just stopping in to say hello. I am home, exhausted and happy to be home. My daughter rented a car for me to drive home today..it was time for all of us to get back to our routines. Now, time for some popcorn and quiet. Hugs to all!	PP	9	469	Aug 17, 2014 by PP
	Guilty pleasure (Preview) So, things have been good lately, but even so I'm being selfish. My husband and his family are at the fair today, and I have the house and the day aaaaaaall to myself. I feel a little bad because it's raining, and his allergies were making him feel miserable (well, that was his excuse anyway). But, you kn...	SpiderArcana	2	255	Aug 17, 2014 by hotrod
	Still in the throws .. :) (Preview) Well no court date, nothing new, same ol' same ol' pretty much. The kids are headed back to school and my girl is officially driving us everywhere. She passed her driver's ed class and is thrilled to be in the drivers seat. I'm very proud of her .. :) she is a GREAT driver and is doing sooo good. Yester...	SerenityRUS	11	453	Aug 17, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	It is what it is (Preview) Where to start? My mom has bladder cancer, just diagnosed, not even sure the path they are going to want her to take. My cat died, she was 12 years old and I find myself arguing with someone who says, she wasnt that old.. why am I even trying with those type of people? Cats live as long as they live eh? And my do...	likemyheart	9	628	Aug 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	Given in (Preview) Abf was trying to get me back ,calls,texts,dropping in unexpectedly.etc.i finally talked to him. He just wanted to hold me tight and not let go.said he had to be with me everyday.he is back to himself doing better than ever,scary,I was on my road to recovery for sure was not expecting this to happen.he...	lookingup	7	394	Aug 17, 2014 by Debilyn
	Porn and Kids .. (Preview) Ok .. I think I know the answer for my situation however I am looking for some perspectives .. I am going to go off fully loaded if we have ANY more issues with this. If I do this there will be supervised visits going forward. My STBX "forgets" what he has on his phone. My son who is 10, I'm an on...	SerenityRUS	8	722	Aug 17, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Takeing care of ME (Preview) What would be my self are when it comes to abf,what should I allow and what I should not allow.what are or would be manipulates that abf uses?,and what are enablers that I could be useing to my abf?when should I speak up for what I believe in?how do I take cate of me weather he is drinking or not drinking or us...	lookingup	8	522	Aug 17, 2014 by milkwood
	Malicious Gossip (Preview) Hi All. 3 years ago I had something happen with a guy that brought me back a lot character assassination. But I did not respond to it because I knew I had a part in it and had hurt him. Maybe when it got too big I should have set a boundary, I don't know. A lot of people used it to inate their egos (including my own...	WorkingThroughIt	12	906	Aug 17, 2014 by el-cee
	The media and depression (Preview) I am really sad about Robin Williams. I have noticed in the news how they keep saying "If you know someone with depression, there is help! Here's how to get it!" Well, that's all fine and dandy IF the person WANTS help! I know the media probably means well, I get it. But it just made me think abou...	Newlife girl	9	841	Aug 17, 2014 by blessed
	Today’s Spiritual Study will be: Taking A Break (Preview) Todays Spiritual Study will be: Taking A BreakMeeting scheduled in the Al-Anon chat room. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html . There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we are on is irc.chat4al...	Tampa	0	197	Aug 17, 2014 by Tampa
	Emotional Manipulation (Preview) http://moregreatminds.com/8-ways-to-protect-yourself-from-emotional-manipulation/	blessed	10	1506	Aug 17, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	"One Day at a Time in Al-Anon: August 16 was written for me." (Preview) Hi, all. New to online forum, have been going to Al-Anon since September of last year. I love my home group, but have been wanting to expand my support network to include some online resources. Did my reading today, and this particular line really struck me: "Does the voice of God have a chance to...	Robean	4	444	Aug 16, 2014 by Jerry F
	Intimacy in relationships (Preview) I have really been struggling lately. I have a real problem with intimacy and I push my husband away a lot. Even when he tries to hold my hand I don't want to. I find it easier to push him away than embracing his love for me. I have been getting very critical with him and analyzing everything he says and doe...	hope4ever	6	676	Aug 16, 2014 by pinkchip
	enabling? (Preview) So far so good with my job . I had an issue with on of my friends. She has been dating a man who is a user. She has been borrowing money from our other friends. So far she has paid everyone back I only lent her one time a year ago and told her never to ask me again I do not like to mix friendships or family with money ....	texasgal	6	557	Aug 16, 2014 by el-cee
	Feeling lost (Preview) Hi All, I am the wife of an in denial alcoholic. I spend my days worrying he has been drinking and he seems to spend his days covering up that he has been drinking His family sat him down last week in a kind of intervention and all was ok for a few days. I have been away and come back today and within 3 hours we w...	furneem	10	713	Aug 16, 2014 by Kelly123
	If I'm honest with mself. (Preview) It is crunch time. Our agreed moving date approaches. ABF is trying the meek, mild, "butter wouldn't melt in his mouth and he doesn't know why I am so cold and distant but since we are forever and ever, he'll wait, and turn the other cheek if I fail to kiss the first one" approach. (That's a thin...	missmeliss	17	547	Aug 15, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Making progress forward (Preview) It was good to reread my last post I had put up. Lately I have been obsessing again with the alcoholic bf and his drinking. His pattern is he will be sober for 3 days and then go on a bender that last 24 hours a day, wake up, drink. pass out and start all over again. Is insane. This past week, he was able to stay so...	joker	2	341	Aug 15, 2014 by Luiza
	New here - how to go forward with an alcoholic boyfriend who "wants" help (Preview) Hi, everyone. I just stumbled upon this forum while looking for support. I'll say right upfront that I am not in AlAlon, and I don't really know how to talk the talk or walk the walk. I'm feeling around in the dark here. I just know that AlAnon is a place for people like me who let their lives get taken ov...	nichtdaisy	16	907	Aug 15, 2014 by nichtdaisy
	Parents are stuck, I'm trying to move on (Preview) Hello everyone, I haven't attended an al-anon meeting or seen a counselor about my family in years. But tonight and recent events made me realize it's probably necessary, and worth it. I'm really not sure where to start, so I'll start with tonight. I told my parents something that's been brewing in my...	jay1112	7	810	Aug 15, 2014 by Cooper
	I finally did it... (Preview) Wow--a long time since I posted but it has been years that I have been coming here. Last night I told my AH (who has been moved out for THREE years now) that I want a divorce. I have struggled for what feels like eternity about this decision and everyone told me that I would know when the time was right what...	sookie	3	316	Aug 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	So it's like this (Preview) Spouse and i are self employed because we own some rental property. Most of the time it's a lot of work, landscaping, painting, fixing building, and when people move, sometimes a real load of work when they leave a big mess. Most of this work is on me, except for the plumbing or electric. Like i was say...	Hapilynn	3	365	Aug 15, 2014 by Hapilynn
	Are there any happy partners of recovering alcoholics (Preview) I'm new to this, completely new! Until just over a year ago I had a very happy independent life. I have a very good job, a lovely home, amazing friends and was very sociable. Then I met an alcoholic. Obviously when I met him I had no idea he was an alcoholic but a few months in it became very apparent, he ev...	Flossy	19	1100	Aug 15, 2014 by Flossy
	Feel like I'm going crazy not knowing (Preview) Almost a year ago, I told H I wanted a divorce because I was sick of the lying and the drinking and the drugs. He begged for forgiveness, started going to meetings almost every day, starting seeing an addiction counselor. Life started being pretty great. Then his work got busy, and he slowly stopped goi...	DontKnow1717	6	525	Aug 15, 2014 by grateful2be
	Have to fail first (Preview) This seems to be the way most systems are set up - for special education services, for child protection services, and it turns out when trying to protect your children from visitation with an A. no offense to child protection workers but there have been several children who I would have to make reports...	Kerrymom	3	475	Aug 15, 2014 by Mattie
	The view stays the same. (Preview) I've seen this same picture through so many different eyes. This is my favorite place so, I come here a lot. For a long time, I would only come here with ABF (because if he didn't want to come then what was the POINT?) So I saw this view through tears, mostly, because we would do our best fighting when we were...	missmeliss	14	616	Aug 15, 2014 by Jerry F
	I guess I really am a double winner/hybrid (Preview) Ok...so I went to an AA meeting last night and the topic was "resentments" and how to deal with them. This is a very common topic in AA. I think it's common in Alanon too but not so much because for A's it takes some sort of "uncovering" and humbling to come to the realization we hav...	pinkchip	14	845	Aug 14, 2014 by Kelly123
	Lots of shame (Preview) Ah vacation time. I just got back from spending time with my family (separate continents). I miss them most of the time of course and spending a few intense weeks or days with them a few years apart is not optimal, and tends to bring out the worst in everyone. It shouldn't but it does. Before I left, I thoug...	ClearTheFog	18	744	Aug 14, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	What irony! (Preview) My ah has been sober for a few days because he has gout in his foot. For anyone who doesn't know, gout is an extremely painful inflammatory disease affecting the joints usually in the feet (ankle and big toe usually.) And, of course, alcohol is one of the contributors to this disease. Anyway, he's been i...	cloudyskies	8	428	Aug 14, 2014 by Kerrymom
	A tip from could be happier homemakers. (Preview) I have an email friend. We commiserate and buck each other up. Her husband isn't an A, but has a lesion in his brain and it's hard to tell the difference. Neither one of then is particularly curious about our emails, but just to make sure, when we are grousing about the situation around our houses, we gi...	Temple	11	590	Aug 14, 2014 by Temple
	my first meeting (Preview) I never reached out and went to alanon until I was 40, I had heard of it before and considered in my 20s but I was so full of resentment I refused to do anything that might help the alcoholic in my life. I thought it was about the a. As soon as I took a seat and listened to the preamble and then the shares around th...	el-cee	5	502	Aug 14, 2014 by Luiza
	Verbally/Emotionally Abusive Alcoholic Boyfriend Wants Help (Preview) I don't even know where to begin. I have been in a tumultuous relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years. I have moved in and out of his place twice. I recently gave up my apartment and am now back with him, and I regret moving. He is very abusive when he drinks. Nothing had happened for almost a year, w...	AshleyA	12	3851	Aug 14, 2014 by el-cee
	First post (Preview) HI I am so glad to have found this forum! My father died of chirosis of the liver when I was 21 and he was 53. Now 14 years later I am seperated from my husband over my concerns with his drinking. He drinks daily and is in denial over his dependance on alcohol he thinks I am paranoid after losing my dad to this...	carlie01	6	223	Aug 14, 2014 by carlie01
	Struggling with a decision (Preview) The Cornhusker AA, AFG and Al-ateen round-up starts tonite! I was being excited about attending some of the events and speakers. Now, I am struggling with going. My AH an his house mates will be there for the event as well. I am thinking maybe I just shouldn't go at all. They will be stupid and immature an...	Flower49	12	507	Aug 14, 2014 by el-cee
	My first post (Preview) I've been married 31 years and my husband drinks a lot. If someone drinks 8 to 10 beers every night, are they an alcoholic? He only got one DUI many years ago, now he stays home to drink and he only drinks in the evening. I know this isn't good for him because, his memory is shot, his blood pressure is thro...	Hapilynn	11	579	Aug 14, 2014 by Newlife girl
	Sober 31 years....alcohol still screwing up my life (Preview) I have come to absolutely hate alcohol and everything to do with it. I grew up in a family of mean drunks and started on the same road before I stopped because of tragedy and embarrassment when I was 22. I married a woman who came from a similar family but claimed to want to be away from that lifestyle, in...	Cooper	16	752	Aug 14, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	struggling with broken promises (Preview) I've been involved with an alcoholic most of the past 30 yrs in one form or another. Alcohol consumption has been manageable for myself. I can take it or leave it. I often drink water when out with friends or my fiancé because I don't want to drink soda (the alternative to alcohol in most places). I hav...	americana-n-mx	11	779	Aug 14, 2014 by americana-n-mx
	Dealing with rage ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I have a lot of rage right now. i keep trying to expel it . It is a very nasty feeling. I am usually very calm and fairly easy going person. So this rage is burning me up. My abusers are circling me right now, i know that is the reason for my rage. My MIL treats this as a marital issue, not a dry alcoholic issue. hi...	Mirandac	41	1377	Aug 13, 2014 by Jen61
	Something somebody said on here the other day. (Preview) I was reminded of a Byron Katie quote: "Before (enlightenment), my religion was that my children should pick up their socks." To all the mothers.... Temple	Temple	8	552	Aug 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Court review and my AH (Preview) I went to a court review for my AH today, nothing changed because as usual the people that are the powers to be in his life don't show up....can you imagine if he didn't show up when he is told too...they don't set a good example. Anyway, his PO was talking to him and he was going on and on about how great he is...	Flower49	8	570	Aug 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Five weeks today I left him, and? (Preview) I am still very emotional very unsettled lots of thoughts and feelings, We are not fighting and seem to be getting along much better, I am still fighting my own acceptence though of what was what I needed and what I got, I understand he could not meet my needs he didn't know how, in five weeks I have started...	Katy	6	449	Aug 13, 2014 by Flower49
	Going through the greiveing process (Preview) I know it's my greiveing him not being here anymore and the way he hurt me that's the way I'm acting I'm angry and hurt at the same time by his actions,he called me 3times yesterday I didn't answer then he called my friends phone I told her to tell him I wasn't here so she did he just calling like i thought was t...	lookingup	6	545	Aug 13, 2014 by Flower49
	Take what you like and leave the rest. (Preview) I was reading in Courage to Change, page 117, and wanted to share. The most important words many of us hear when we first come to Al-Anon are, "Take what you like and leave the rest." Everything about our program is suggested, not required. This gives us the freedom to pick and choose. If we di...	cloudyskies	7	3087	Aug 13, 2014 by PP
	Abf been calling (Preview) Then he called me several times last nite and this morning early i don't answer his calls he finally texted me this morning early 4:30 am and texted and what I was doing that he missed me.i did text back finally and said really after all the pain you caused me he texted back naw I was just saying that ,well w...	lookingup	6	452	Aug 13, 2014 by milkwood
	My Higher Power's here (Preview) This is Glencoe in the Highlands. Its a glaciated valley quite high above sea level. The mountains were hidden by cloud that day but its truly a mysterious, powerful place. Its quite intimidating, your surrounded by rocky mountains, its usually quite dark due to the depth of the Glen or valley. I tho...	el-cee	12	559	Aug 13, 2014 by Jen61
	Rebellion friend or foe? (Preview) I feel like I have tried everything and nothing works unless I stand my ground. I will not cave to my alcoholic spouse's verbal abuse, demands and moods! He yells at me he is gonna get it right back. I tried Alanon face to face meetings in my last city and found them to cause me depression and then more resen...	ponygal	7	553	Aug 13, 2014 by milkwood
	Alcoholism takes another (Preview) So very sad at the news of Robin Williams. This disease is just such a monster. It's even more frustrating for me to see someone who really is trying with all their heart and still have the disease take them down, either through an overdose, an accident, or in Robin's case depression and suicide. Prayer...	Aloha	12	614	Aug 13, 2014 by Mari1978
	AS - drink and mental health (Preview) so my AS seems to have 'detoxed/reduced his drinking for c4 weeks now (unless he's just got very good at covering up - tho I am not pursuing him as I was). But, he is still stressed: he has always been nervy/poor self esteem- suffered with anxiety. He does have 'real' issues to deal with - separation, a w...	MCALANON	12	617	Aug 13, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Never saw that comin' (Preview) 17 years ago; my ex left me and his son penniless & I mean penniless. He was ruthless and drug me through the courts for years until, finally, a judge dismissed his case on he didn't have a case; other than letigious harassment (using the court system to harass another person). $$$$ Now, as #2 is kick...	blessed	23	744	Aug 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sister trying to quit on her own 3 weeks now (Preview) Sister in her late 40's decided to stop drinking on her own. No program. Lives 500 miles away so I don't get to see her in person very often. I am new to this program. How do I start helping her? She has a no good for nothing bf who she is trying to come back to her. She has two daughters. Has a good job. What do I do...	LinSC	2	316	Aug 13, 2014 by hotrod
	Angry, overwhelmed and resentful (Preview) Where do I start? I just need to vent to my wonderful people here who understand and help me so much! Having an anxiety filled day. Oldest left for college, which is 9 hrs away. It's her 3rd year. Sounds too far away for me. Her dad drove with her. I started to feel so sad later after she left. she just turned 2...	Newlife girl	18	550	Aug 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	Sick with a cold (Preview) Stayed all night with my friend her air was extra cold inside her home got up this morning with a sick with a horrible cold and hurting foot,what's next?im hopeing this all gets better soon Maybe this will help me to keep the focus on myself also.thanks agin for comments and listening to my problems.	lookingup	5	304	Aug 12, 2014 by Nightwind
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.