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Need Tips re: Worrying/Anxiety/Fear
(Preview)
Hello - The alcoholic who brought me back to Alanon is my grandson. He is only 21. He has had quite a rough road - in and out of rehabs, detox, SLE's. He is now in an SLE, but I was told he did not apply for food stamps. One of the consequences of that would be no food - and that is triggering me as a nurturer . . . I am...
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ohno
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6
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824
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what am I doing to take care of me
(Preview)
With holidays, family, friends, even work can demand more of my time...last minute this or that...and if it is reasonable and I can do it, with no big cost to me, no worries, but I think during the holidays I am looking to take extra good care of me so i can return back to work on Friday refreshed and in a goo...
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neshema2
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4
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512
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How does one go about getting a sponsor?
(Preview)
Hello all. I have recently found my way back into the rooms of Al-Anon after many years. When I was in Al-Anon back then, I went to meetings regularly, but never had a sponsor. I have no idea how to find one. Can some of you who have a sponsor offer some guidance? How does this work? Do you meet one on on...
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Mango
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6
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3667
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its a gift
(Preview)
I went to a good meeting yesterday, i must have been extra open to the good stuff because i keep thinkjng about the little nuggets i heard and i want to share them here. An old timer was saying how alanon is a gift but its not a gift that requires no looking after. Once you have alanon, you need to work it to kee...
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el-cee
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7
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507
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Decisions decisions.
(Preview)
Hey everyone. sick of me yet? Lol I am posting an awful lot aren't I. I have been pretty isolated recently and not wanting to leave my room due to the unfriendly vibes in the house. I am SO ready to move onwards and upwards!! So today I applied for 4 places. 3 of them are houses with 3 bedrooms and all of them a...
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missmeliss
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14
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693
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He admits the truth...then says I am punishing him
(Preview)
I can't take this chaos. I will try to make this quick and to the point. My AH had a relapse of depression/drinking that lasted about a week and a half...ending almost a week ago...hope this time frame makes sense in writing. So this episode was taking place when my girls and I went on our trip to Disneylan...
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Newlife girl
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14
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836
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Thank you- I am grateful
(Preview)
My Mom left this world in grace last night. I felt blessed to have used my Alanon toolkit and the support of my MIP family to have come though this the best way possible. My Uncle said I could take the photos in her room- he had placed a few of my Mom and Dad and a copy of their wedding album in her room when he fi...
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bud
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16
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713
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out of date thoughts
(Preview)
I hold on to thoughts that are old and out of date and should have been discarded way back somewhere but for some reason, not completely sure, ive held on to them. The idea that because a relationship has lasted a long time it should last forever. Why? Its like one of those ideas or thoughts i had when i was 7...
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el-cee
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5
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697
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Wondering what "skill" I may be missing here?
(Preview)
Not reacting to what other say it's sometimes exhausting to me! A daughter of my finance "indicates" negative things about me (and others), as if she is insulting me through the other person or hoping I'll say something back to defend myself- through others, and get a whole tug of war goi...
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glad
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4
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686
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FEAR
(Preview)
I have been going through so many changes in my life lately, I feel overwhelmed.Some days I freeze into a little ball on my couch afraid to move.I felt that way yesterday,I nearly talked myself out of going to college.I thought maybe it was too much for me, or I couldn't do it.Or I am too old.I won't be able...
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mjferg
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11
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603
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Christmas was not a nightmare(a little late...)
(Preview)
So, I haven't been able to get on here since Monday of last week. So much to say. I am just grateful that I had a really relaxing day. IF it weren't for the yams going everywhere & on my wool coat, it would have been perfect! My AH who tries so hard to make everything come out right & on time, spilled th...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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540
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you tube speakers
(Preview)
If you type in alanon speakers on you tube, there are loads to choose from. The shares are from wives, daughters, mothers, sons etc of alcoholics and they are quite indepth, lots of humour as well and if your not convinced alanons for you, you will be after listening to one of these. Put your headphones...
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el-cee
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1
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861
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Gifts....
(Preview)
Feeling gratitude. Just came out of my yard from doing bird feeding and plant rescues and some landscaping and more. Also just got off an email from my younger brother who is battling good news turned bad news about his pancreatic cancer. Gonna start chemo/radiation and is asking for prayers of...
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Jerry F
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14
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593
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take what you like, leave the rest
(Preview)
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glad
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2
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555
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O-Anon
(Preview)
I am responding to the results I found when searching for support here with regard to O-Anon (support for families of people struggling with eating disorders/food addictions). I believe this thread was closed by Tom in error... see below: http://alanon.activeboard.com/t40454502/o-anon/ (...
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jeanmarie-j
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8
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4155
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Got caught by the sister!!!!
(Preview)
Hi all I am lying in bed..its Christmas and i just ate a BUNCH of food, polished off 2 butterfingers and i am lying in bed, I've spoken to all my family members and the phone rings..(my cell) I didn't look and just answered the call....maybe it was one who is catching me late, (gee i thought I either initia...
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neshema2
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12
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648
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You Are All Gifts
(Preview)
...and I don't need to say more. Peace and love (yes I was raised in the days of Woodstock)
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PP
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39
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753
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toxic dry ah
(Preview)
My dry ah became a toxic husband toward me 11 years ago. I am at the stage now I need to face some hard truths. I have looked at my part and my reasons for staying. The marriage kept getting worse not better, no matter what I did or tried to do to improve it. I believe it is the progression of his disease even t...
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Mirandac
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23
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843
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My AD is Not Joining Us for the Holidays
(Preview)
So last week, my AD joined us for two family gatherings. It was nice to see her again after a year of her choosing not having any contact with me. Her sister invited her to join us for Christmas Eve dinner at a local restaurant. She flatly said "no." She also has chosen not to attend our family ga...
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Green Eyes
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8
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636
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New member asking a question..
(Preview)
I have been to a few f2f meetings in the last few years. It has helped me a lot. I have been reading here for months. I am just now getting the courage to write. I don't know why I take it all so personal when my son is mean to me, but do. I know in my heart that he can't really mean to be that nasty to his mother...
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lisalisa
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11
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728
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I'm pretty sure I know what I need to do
(Preview)
Ever since he got out of rehab 11 years ago, my son has lived about a 3 hour flight away from me - I'm not sure, but as far as I know he's staying away from his original drug of choice (crystal meth), but he drinks (often to excess) and smokes grass - he's obviously not working any program. I am pretty sure tha...
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texas yankee
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12
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718
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gratitude for attitude
(Preview)
I heard this at a meeting today and i thought its a simple way of looking at life. If you want a good attitude then you need to do the gratitude thing. Theres always something to be grateful for, even in the midst of drama and chaos, you just need to look.
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el-cee
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8
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504
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Hope
(Preview)
Hello! I mentioned that I had my meeting Friday night. I knew, from past experience, I would go and it would be spot on. Certainly enough it was. We had to move to a different location because we were locked out of our usual room. Our book that has the Welcome and format was also locked in the room but we had a...
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Jackie11
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1
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441
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More soap
(Preview)
Well, right now I have no money and no job. I don't know where I will be living and I won't know until next week what my school days and times will be for the rest of the year and I haven't had any luck finding summer work either. I don't know why, it's never been difficult before but there must be a reason. But f...
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missmeliss
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11
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686
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New family member!
(Preview)
Yes, there is a seventh pet now. Meet Nikita (aka Nikki)!
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pinkchip
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20
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928
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Visit
(Preview)
Good Morning All I will be traveling over 2 hours for a face to face visit with my son. Always scared going to a new and unfamiliar new prison but will take my time and follow all the rules. I just hope I don't get turned away because I didn't do everything right. It's been chilly here so I'm sure I will hea...
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Cathyinaz
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15
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645
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Mele Kalikimaka
(Preview)
Okay you all know that is Merry Christmas in Hawaiian sooo I can do it in English too. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Just came back from Christmas Shopping for my wife. It was fun because I do insane now on purpose and don't take myself seriously when I act it out. Had a lot of laughs with the very very young sa...
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Jerry F
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13
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633
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Family and expectations
(Preview)
I have a younger sister who is 8 years younger to be exact. She lives in another state and we weren't very close until she grew up and got married and had kids, etc. We have more in common now anyway. I've always been the overachieving, organized, straight A student in school, career as an adult, respo...
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andromeda
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15
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745
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"Cleaning Up" and Boundaries
(Preview)
As a child, my mother would not let me help her clean the house. I really wanted to contribute, but she would not allow it. There were also no boundaries in our house. My mom taught me it was okay to pop the locks off of any locked door (even her bedroom door, which I did when she was crying) with a butter knife...
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ohno
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14
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539
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Taking it Personally
(Preview)
I got an email from my ex-A ....at the end he says it is obvious you are making your decisions out of spite and jealousy. I have examined my motives so many times that I know I was making a conscious choice from logic. It is just hard to not take it personally... Not so much because it is coming from him but bec...
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Truth
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8
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548
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Instead of resentment: a different perspective
(Preview)
My AH disappeared into his room after we opened up presents this AM. He's been amiable and easy to get along with except for his silence to and from church yesterday and how he disappeared for the first 10 minutes of service.... But, honestly, I can't complain. He is now asleep on his bed with his hands...
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andromeda
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8
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627
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Let's See if I Can Pull Off any Serenity
(Preview)
Got news today that my grandson has been discharged from detox and is going to an SLE - within 5 minutes of the phone call, I wanted to start rescuing by bringing him bedding, towels, clothes, etc. Instead, I called someone from an Alanon phone list and was able to let go and have some faith that this is HIS...
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ohno
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10
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716
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Thinking Compulsion
(Preview)
I am trying to train myself away from my thinking compulsion (in this case about my grandson - it has been other people, that's why I know it is a compulsion). I use thinking to take me away from myself - I guess because I don't find myself that interesting, but the people I am obsessing about seem fascinat...
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ohno
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1
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334
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It's a good thing my meeting is tonight
(Preview)
Happy New Year! 5 weeks until I can file for divorce. I left my AH in February 2014. I agreed to joint counseling because he swore up down and sideways that he had changed and "everything" was different. Before counseling could begin he was required to attend 90/90. He was also to send 1 text m...
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Jackie11
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5
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678
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Newbie needs help!!
(Preview)
Hello, completely new here, so please tell me if this is in the wrong place! Long story short(ish)... A year ago, we realised that my Mother-in-Law was drinking. At the time we didn't know how much of a problem it was, until around Easter time, when we realised it was pretty bad, including being drunk at...
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mugwump
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6
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331
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Anyone living with A who also has mental illness?
(Preview)
It is so hard to live with someone struggling with both mental illness and addiction. Does anyone have words of advice or encouragement for me?
Our adult A son has been diagnosed as bi-polar. When he was in his junior year of college he was arrested for a drug charge and went through a court mandated pro...
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lgnutah
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4
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750
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Because I'm a woman?
(Preview)
I've been staying at a friend's house for a few days so I can attend some business in this area. It's no big deal, this male friend (and his fiance sometimes) have stayed at my house for the same reasons plenty of times in the past and this is the first ever time I have ever returned the favor. The two of them a...
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missmeliss
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23
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801
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The right time
(Preview)
I've been waiting for the "right" time to separate from my AH - when I had saved more money, after a binge so he'd understand or I was justified, etc but there isn't going to be a right time. He just keeps on doing what he does and when drunk breaks things which costs hundreds to replace (his glas...
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Kerrymom
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4
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620
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i hate christmas!!!!!
(Preview)
I hate Christmas and resent all those people who r posting on fb about their wonderful day with wonderful family!!!! In all fairness yesterday wasn't too bad he didn't drink but only because he had to work last night!!! Today, boxing day, what a different story!!!! I hate him for getting drunk causing...
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lizzieo35
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17
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722
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How do I let go?
(Preview)
Oh dear... I don't even know where to start. The past year and a half of my life as been a nightmare that I can't wake up from. My husband has always been a drinker. This I was aware of. In his past life, he also did drugs and got himself straightened out, joined the military and has been very successful. He h...
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Dreamer83
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10
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746
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Hello again
(Preview)
I cannot find the email acct with my info on it from my posting. ACOA here - been tough night and day. Estranged from kids following divorce - Living with elderly dementia parent and elderly parent. The qualifier started getting sober in may 14 but does not really grasp the program as dementia and al...
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LicoriceTwist
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10
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497
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My brain is bouncy
(Preview)
I have decided to go to college and as I have been filling out forms and financial applications I noticed a lot of difficulty with concentrating and just focusing on the task at hand.My poor little brain is all over the place.I am wondering how I will do with studying.I am wondering if living in the chaos...
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mjferg
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2
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316
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Angry with myself
(Preview)
Thank you so much, dear family, for hanging in there with me. I spent Christmas eve sponge bathing and singing to my Mom as her fever started climbing to 103. I think my Dad felt better that I was there and would see me in the morning too. Finally, finally, my Mom's temperature returned to normal. Ear...
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bud
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8
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448
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I make plans ..
(Preview)
And God has a party .. LOL .. seriously it must be comedy central up there! Merry Christmas as well Happy Holiday's. I have been very very busy .. so what else is new. It's all good and I feel ok. Last night I had some moments and I think it's just going to take a little bit of time and consistency. I am loo...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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516
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I can't believe this is happening again!
(Preview)
I married my ex husband in June 2010. By September, he was drinking and drugging (vodka and cocaine) every day, not working, destroying all of our possessions and scaring the poop out of me. He agreed to go to rehab. He stayed for 17 days. He was sober for 57 days. I felt amazing to have my husband bac...
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Mlkiss75
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18
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1075
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I just need to scream......
(Preview)
My side of the family celebrated Christmas on Christmas eve....a small gathering in which every single person there has struggled with or is still struggling with addictions. Every person there knows what my 21 year old son has been going thru the last two years, he is firmly in the grasp of drug and...
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Cooper
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14
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672
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Merry Christmas!
(Preview)
I spent Christmas Eve with my daughter, grandson and their little dog, Marley. Food, games, a ride to look at Christmas lights, ornament making and a few gifts opened. No booze. No drunks. No drama. Just normal family relations. This morning, the family is still sleeping as my daughter's resp...
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grateful2be
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38
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668
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Tomorrow will be tough
(Preview)
I need to do something tomorrow that will be very very hard, yet I must. My mom promised us that she would not let my father drive anymore, due to the dementia. He drove to my brothers today and was planning on driving them home. I yelled at my mom that he could not drive; she insisted he was alright to driv...
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PP
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4
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501
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The perspective from the other room . . .
(Preview)
I've been going to a lot of different FTF Al Anon meetings lately - I was laid off about two years shy of when I had planned to retire, and having had the extra time to attend the additional meetings has helped me to make significant progress in my program - maybe things were getting a bit stale for me with my...
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texas yankee
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2
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471
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Merry Christmas
(Preview)
I want to wish all of the people here a Very Merry Christmas! I know for many it will be a struggle and I even struggled a little today to have the spirit I used to have I did my best and my children are happy and that's what matters most. Peace to all. Holly
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Holly09
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3
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316
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Soap.
(Preview)
Well I can't say it has been a fun Christmas, but, on the bright side, it's almost over...lol. It is 7 minutes to midnight. Housemate lady decided not to do Christmas with her family this year (similar issues) so she stayed here and was angry all day. That's nothing to do with me but, she had said she was go...
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missmeliss
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11
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454
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and heaven doesn't have facebook
(Preview)
For a few years now I've been looking on facebook for my TWO childhood sweethearts...Yea, I was the femme fatale who rode the big red horse who ran like the wind and was as wild as I was.....next to "Big Red" I loved those boys......I was 12 and they were the same age when we all started together...
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neshema2
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7
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728
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Merry Christmas and Vodka
(Preview)
I work a part time job. When got home last night I could tell something was up. I did not say anything to him, because really what is the point. I found Vodka today and I was not even looking for it. I felt sick to my stomach. I know we have all felt this and even after all of these years it is still there. ...
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Jen61
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3
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413
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Dinner (((( Melly ))))
(Preview)
Merry Christmas Everyone..... I made enough for 12 people but it's the only way for leftovers LOL
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Cathyinaz
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4
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302
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A sad night for me
(Preview)
My 85 year old mom has some challenges with blood clotting. Tonight, before we ate our Christmas Eve dinner, our son's dog was cleaning up a scrap on the floor, my mom went to pick it up and he bit her arm. He is a gentle dog, so this surprised us. My mom bled in 4 places for some time. I applied pressure an...
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PP
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26
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486
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to allow drink or not allow drink
(Preview)
So, ive got the whole family and partners coming tomorrow. Both son, with problem and daughter without problem, want to bring alcohol. I said i would think about it. They are both bringing there partners and part of me wants to play at being normal,people unaffected people and we can all sit with a glas...
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el-cee
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13
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729
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My Christmas wish for you is Peace and Joy!
(Preview)
Merry Christmas to all! I feel so blessed. Yesterday Christmas Eve the new man in my life and I finished up some last minute shopping together, ran around with my daughter and son in law and 3.5 year old Grandson while Grandson went to sit on Santa's lap and saw some Christmas sites where we took happy...
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glad
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3
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524
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5 loaves and 2 fish
(Preview)
Well yesterday I was feeling pretty down.It is Christmas eve, and I took my daughter to work, I started feeling that scary lonely feeling creeping on me and I decided to go into the kitchen and see if I could find something to cook a nice Christmas eve dinner.After scouring the pantry and freezer I hav...
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mjferg
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10
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566
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Ho ho ho
(Preview)
Ah Christmas morning. Here is my Christmas Breakfast. It had better get me through the rest of the day because that's all the cooking I am doing! Yesterday I told mother I wouldn't be coming and she said, she can't have daughter overnight as she is leaving to go away early in the morning. I said no problem...
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missmeliss
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7
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514
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How to handle cheating
(Preview)
Hi everyone. I'm a new member of Al-Anon and so grateful that I found the program! Today I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years, an untreated Alcoholic has been cheating on me. According to him it was only twice and both times he was completely wasted, but it was the same person both times so clearly h...
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Ashley C
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11
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1232
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