Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT Reading for today Jan 20 is an extremely powerful page. I had to read and reread it several times before I could accept the principles that were offered. The entire meditation is about patience, and not reacting. It points out the thought that I cannot hurt others without hurting myself. If I s...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Can't go into it but I survived a bad time w/ my sober Ah.

New Member - first post · pilot225

It would take me years to get everything I want to say out, Im sure you all have been through very similar things but long story short, My mother has been an alcoholic for 20 years. Ever since I have been in my teens. I am an only child. Fast forward twenty years, my dad left her, I am married with two kids a...

Goldm00n · Goldm00n

Hi, I am new to this forum but not new to the program. I really thought I had left this part of my life behind. Not the principles but I hadn't had an active addict or alcoholic in my life a long time. I was a single mom for 16 years and I have been married almost 4 years. My new husband is wonderful but we did...

mm830 · mm830

Hi, I have not checked in for months, although I read posts daily. I just cannot get the consistency thing in life. I do this (AlAnon, workout, eat better etc), feel better, then I stop. I know it's on me to change this pattern. We inherited the sweetest dog. She is ten. I hope she stays with us a while but...

DavidG · DavidG

"Our hearts do not need logic, they can love and forgive and accept that which our minds cannot comprehend. Hearts understand in ways minds cannot." Lois W. My heart was broken, and my heart was gone. My heart felt like it was stomped on. So how could I read this, and write it down? I once suf...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Can anyone suggest online tools/ebooks/workbook on ways to work each step? So far all I can find are workbooks for the alcoholic.

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I came into the Al-Anon program about 8 months ago. God led me to Al-Anon, and I am so thankful. I began working my program immediately. Through the Twelve Steps and Traditions, the slogans, the daily readings, the meetings, the shares and the service work, I have felt myself healing. I quickly worked...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I am trying to get my ah out of my head and heart. I am still grieving after him being gone for 6 months. i can not seem to think straight,focus or trust myself with big decisions.i need to get my tax returns prepared for my accountant and have them mailed first week in feb i can not even start them and it will...

CDOD · CDOD

I am the wife of an alcoholic. He is 62 days sober today and I am so very proud of his progress and commitment to sobriety. He is taking an active role in our family again, helping out around our household and best of all just present in the day, which is something we haven't experienced in about the last 3...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I was raised in a household that went to church 3 times a week. This wasn't just a 'go to church and listen to the sermon" type religion. This was a church that taught its members how to understand and then teach others what the bible message was. We had study aids, books and magazines with questions...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for today speaks about the power of detachment. It points out that living with active alcoholism is confusing and unsettling so that we often develop negative coping tools in order to have some semblance of order in our lives. Some of these tools are destructive and we need to change t...

DavidG · DavidG

Does Alanon have oversight of the Alateen board...? The board has not had any active members for a while. I see that there is a call for funding from members for $50 or $60... ...all groups should be self supporting, including Alateen. But with no members, why should any incoming members have to pay ar...

el-cee · el-cee

The alanon welcome pack is the best thing ive ever read. The leaflet on detachment was the best tool ive ever learned and used. It gave me a lot. When i learned to detach with love i got freedom. I learned, i didnt need to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people. Not to allow myself to be u...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

This is something I've struggled with for years though I like to think I've gotten better at. I'm starting my new course next week. It will license me for self employment. I think I could potentially be great at it as I like public speaking though it terrifies me and I do love the freedom of self employmen...

hotrod · hotrod

ODAT reading for today offers a great topic to consider and meditate on . The reading is urging us to keep the focus on ourselves , appreciate what we have in our lives and not compare ourselves to others. As I read this meditation I was reminded of the Al-Anon slogan which suggests that we:"...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

i am doing okay . im carfull what i say here only because i have ppl who like to ruin my achievement of getting better . im tending a meeting to night i miss everyone. im grateful for what i have ,im grateful im alive today and have my children and new healthy friends. im happy today

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This morning in the wee hours I am up again. I am so frustrated & angry w him because he wakes me up every morning to go to the bathroom & to take a BP pill. My dilemma is that I am an insomniac & have been sleeping bad since around Christmas time. So really it is not his fault that he chooses to stay...

Flower49 · Flower49

Well as of yesterday it's official I hit the half century mark. I had mixed feelings on it....reviewed my life, wondered what I had accomplished in all that time, decided it wasn't to much I guess not anymore than any others have done, decided it's only a number, decided I am permanently 48 and then real...

searching4peace · searching4peace

Things are all over the place right now and I am really struggling. One thing that I can't seem to get past is the idea that alcohlism is a disease. I feel like if I could grasp that concept I would be better able to see my AH with compassion and acceptance. And I think that would play a big role in detachin...

serenity47 · serenity47

Things appear to be, getting worse with my AD. Losing one job after the other, continued lies, etc. I don't know why I keep expecting everything to just suddenly turn around when she is doing nothing to have that happen. I keep trying to work step one over and over again but honestly feel very overwh...

jwall729 · jwall729

Hello all. So brand new to this and going to try to find an Al-anon meeting around my house. We have been in financial chaos and so focused on my AH's recovery that I've barely had time to take care of myself. Be warned I'm in the beginning steps here. AH is about 40 days clean and I'm still holding onto a...

Nailsxtacks · Nailsxtacks

My boyfriend a recovering opiate addict has been in rehab for 2 weeks now. He called me every morning and every night. Well Saturday we talked and everything was fine and he told me he loved me and he would call me in the morning. Well I never heard from him and I still haven't. It's been 2 days and it's very u...

missmeliss · missmeliss

And maybe that's OK. It has been years since I spent any length of time with my mother, you might recall I spent 3 days at her holiday house a year ago and almost lost my mind. The thing is a year later and with what I think are more refined and defined boundaries, I have no tolerance for it, and am finding any k...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Today, I submitted the first of what I wanted to write on according to the Al-Anon guides for our new reader and/or the Forum magazine. I learned about this opportunity and shared with all of you last week. It took me about a week to actually sit down and write what will be the first of several submissio...

hotrod · hotrod

Welcome Back Mark You have been missed.

andromeda · andromeda

I can't find anyone, except for one house, where someone will rent to me without me having a monthly job sourced income. They all want my AH on the lease and that's the last thing I want. I went to see the one property who said she would work with me and I liked it a lot. So, at least this is a positive. My lawy...

glad · glad

I often can't sleep, I've long left my alcoholic relationship but my own issues remain.. I was letting a situation regarding my mother wanting me to attend/ work at an event I have turned down a million times and her "talking to" my bf and asking him to "talk to me" to get me to p...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Today at work I had an interaction with a co worker that left me wondering if I was crazy. Why do I always end up pointing the finger at myself? Since I started Al anon, I have been more direct with co workers. Basically, the coworker asked me if I needed help. I am a nurse. at first I said no...but then she me...

bud · bud

Today I received a call from the people I sublease my office from. They're expanding and already brought someone on board, are financially backing the new person's rent. The new person is already certified in what I am in the process of achieving for certification. I'll be certified by next year t...

DavidG · DavidG

Living at peace with ourselves and others... ...that seems revolutionary and radical to me... after all aren't we supposed to work hard for others... ? wouldn't being at peace with myself be selfish, self gratifying? The old rip-cord idea... don't try to save others until you have pulled your own r...

John · John

This time of year is when everything comes due on the web sites annual expenses, so if you have the ability please consider making a 5-10 dollar donation to help offset the cost of this site. It is important that the site remains self supporting through its member contributions, and the burden of expe...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Ive been separated from my husband for 4 mos and am having a hard time detaching because we have 2 kids who love and want to spend regular time with their dad. I'll be honest, I am still in love with him and miss him terribly and am having a hard time with the idea that our marriage may be beyond reconcilliati...

andromeda · andromeda

Most of you know that my son plays tennis at tournaments that take weekends to finish. I spend my days sitting around watching tennis matches and all of the other parents have been my friends for many years now. One of my son's best friends has a dad who is a dentist and who is, quite frankly, a very stran...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

i have little serenity just sad frustration today. my AH has a sleeping problem but just like his drinking problem,he ejects all help,advice from me and also from people outside. So every weekend he drinks and takes pills,the monday comes and he tells work he didnt get any sleep..well if being in a dea...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C January 19 speaks about acceptance of ourselves. It points out that we are all imperfect humans and that we are all still children of God who are committed to growing spiritually and changing. Since we are committed to seeing our limitations and flaws, this page urges us to discard our nega...

grateful2be · grateful2be

There is an interesting study that might be of help to parents feeling guilty because their children/adult children are/were often depressed - with or without alcohol. Scientists have discovered a link between brain function and excessive guilt in children that can develop into depression in l...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Tonight my sister called me and asked me if I had a particular movie she wants to watch (I keep an extensive library of movies as well as books, it's a "thing" of mine) and could I set up a computer with the television so she can watch it when she gets here. (The technology in this house is kind of....

Katrina324 · Katrina324

So here I am working on Step one, and I get angry at my ABF on the phone and lash out, again, I am such an idiot. I haven't seen him since Christmas Day when I walked out after finding him drunk again. Then he started AA, and he keeps telling me how much fun he has there, and hasn't drank a drop since. The onl...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I spoke on the phone to my mother today. She is still away and due to return tomorrow. She asked what I am planning for daughter's birthday next Sunday. I remind her that I have said several times it would be nice if we could join her at her beach house for the birthday weekend, as daughter loves it there or o...

neshema2 · neshema2

the bio sister appeared on my text again...no worries, i am keeping my distance and i knew she would re-contact me which , again, no worries b/c i am keeping my distance, being nice...not putting myself out there re: hot topics for her to push any buttons...not going anywhere with her but our mutual lo...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My wife and I contacted a virus suspecting that we got it from a member in our home group. Anyhow I don't often get sick and this time I've never been so sick. My wife got some OTC meds from the drug store which I dutifully took yesterday afternoon and night and then wasn't able to sleep and ended up hal...

bud · bud

Hi Dear MIP family! I'm working so hard for my baby photos! The drama, the chaos, the insanity- all of which I am choosing to walk through just to have my childhood memories returned to me. For those that didn't see earlier posts, my sister took the entire contents of my parent's estate last year witho...

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

I have been really tired lately. I have missed three weeks of my f2f meetings and I feel like I'm floundering for my life preserver. Confusion seems to be clouding my judgment. I've been still so that I could hear God speaking to me. He has given me direction, but then I feel doubt and confusion creeping b...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Darn it I had something typed out and it got erased as I'm having connection issues. I wanted to share some experience that I had over the past weekend, that really tells me how far I've come in the last 3 years and I'm hoping I'm not repeating myself. Sometimes I have a lot to say and sometimes not so much...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T January 17 speaks about the destructive tools that we, who live with the disease develop over the course of time while living in the insanity. Here is an example of the weapons that most of us use: indignation irresponsible accusations, nagging, tears, hysteria and self-righteousne...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I posted on something that rippled me a little and instead of stopping and thinking I reacted and posted. I now am of course rethinking the whole thing, but you can never take it back, so my learning lesson in it all is to calm the waters and not to further add ripples or waves. We come here broken and batter...

aquamom23 · aquamom23

Well its been a nice month without chaos in my living space. Seperation has been the best thing for me all round though not as clear cut as it "should" be. Although we are not living together, some aspects of our lives remain entwined. Coming from a small island, there's no chance of forgett...

AinWisconsin · AinWisconsin

Hello all , I am new here. My loved one recently went to jail last week due to his addictions. I have been through 2 years of him being in and out of rehab several times. The last rehab he was in I wrote a letter to him and laid out my boundaries. In that letter I said that I would end the relationship if he crosse...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I haven't posted in a while. I still read posts daily and I appreciate everyone's advice. I am bogged down with his alcoholic behaviors. I try and try to stay out of it then he goes off drinking and doesn't come home til 4:30 am. I just don't understand how he can be out drinking for over 12 hours. He's o...

drywit44 · drywit44

I'm a civilian and my wife has 30 years in Al-Anon. We are newly married (things are really good, I'm so glad that I married her) and are beginning to try to integrate our prayer lives. She is a devout Roman Catholic and I was raised an Evangelical Protestant, now attending Episcopalian. Most of her p...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I just want to share that I am truly filled with happiness right now. Just two years ago, my AH had passed away suddenly right in the midst of our divorce proceedings, I was living in a very small small apartment by myself, my AD was not speaking to me and did not want to see me, I didn't have a dime to my name an...

flagbabe83 · flagbabe83

So my husband decided to throw out all of the alcohol in our house, including his hidden alcohol (I knew about it but never told him) on Monday. He told me that he had it hidden, which gives me hope that he's trying to move forward since he didn't realize that I knew about it. He is stopping for 30 days to prov...

ssilver · ssilver

So, when my husband was actively drinking and continuously intoxicated, I locked up the guns in their cabinet and took the keys as I moved out. He never noticed the two weeks before he collapsed and went by ambulance to the hospital for two weeks then to rehab for 30 days. However, now sober and home, he h...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I signed a lease yesterday. And paid some rent and generally secured a house for myself and my girl. Let's start with the important stuff. Here's where we will be walking the dog each evening (a 2 minute drive away or maybe 20 minute walk)

So it's in town, which will take some getting used to, but it is...

grateful2be · grateful2be

The writer refers to her early Al-Anon days. It was difficult for her to understand humility and how to develop it. Being teachable was a concept that she could grasp. She decided to look at how she could change herself so that she could become more open and willing to learn. She decided that skippi...

DavidG · DavidG

I was an artistic kid in the sporty frontier style community... ...drinking was 'a way of life' for quite a body of people. An alcoholic was someone who 'drank with the flies' in a corner of the bar.... My rural community is no longer really rural- so many changes! I am still finding my family and my com...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I carpool with a younger woman who lives at home with her parents. To save money, because we travel one hour each way to college Monday-Friday we carpool. It is no longer worth it for me, nobody else frustrates me the way she does and I walk away most days wondering if she is trying to undermine me on purpos...

mjferg · mjferg

I have a long weekend,no school today or Monday.My daughter and I are going to have some fun.Thrift store shopping and eating out.It feels so good to be able to have fun and not worry about coming home to chaos!!!Have a great weekend.

missmeliss · missmeliss

I don't laugh so much at A these days unless he makes a joke; I guess now that I don't live with him, I don't live in a constant state of desperation where I have to choose between laughing or losing my mind. But this made me giggle. I was telling him about my new place. It's small, only 2 bedrooms, no spare sp...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ODAT Reading 1- 20 (Preview) ODAT Reading for today Jan 20 is an extremely powerful page. I had to read and reread it several times before I could accept the principles that were offered. The entire meditation is about patience, and not reacting. It points out the thought that I cannot hurt others without hurting myself. If I s...	hotrod	7	1066	Jan 23, 2015 by karma13
	I will survive (Preview) Can't go into it but I survived a bad time w/ my sober Ah.	Hoot Nanny	5	427	Jan 23, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	New Member - first post (Preview) It would take me years to get everything I want to say out, Im sure you all have been through very similar things but long story short, My mother has been an alcoholic for 20 years. Ever since I have been in my teens. I am an only child. Fast forward twenty years, my dad left her, I am married with two kids a...	pilot225	8	744	Jan 23, 2015 by aquamom23
	Newbie (Preview) Hi, I am new to this forum but not new to the program. I really thought I had left this part of my life behind. Not the principles but I hadn't had an active addict or alcoholic in my life a long time. I was a single mom for 16 years and I have been married almost 4 years. My new husband is wonderful but we did...	Goldm00n	17	713	Jan 23, 2015 by pinkchip
	Hand me down dog (Preview) Hi, I have not checked in for months, although I read posts daily. I just cannot get the consistency thing in life. I do this (AlAnon, workout, eat better etc), feel better, then I stop. I know it's on me to change this pattern. We inherited the sweetest dog. She is ten. I hope she stays with us a while but...	mm830	11	852	Jan 22, 2015 by grateful2be
	Thought for today... (Preview) "Our hearts do not need logic, they can love and forgive and accept that which our minds cannot comprehend. Hearts understand in ways minds cannot." Lois W. My heart was broken, and my heart was gone. My heart felt like it was stomped on. So how could I read this, and write it down? I once suf...	DavidG	8	517	Jan 22, 2015 by bud
	where to find free/online help working the steps? (Preview) Can anyone suggest online tools/ebooks/workbook on ways to work each step? So far all I can find are workbooks for the alcoholic.	Hopefull15	6	629	Jan 22, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	healing from the inside out (Preview) I came into the Al-Anon program about 8 months ago. God led me to Al-Anon, and I am so thankful. I began working my program immediately. Through the Twelve Steps and Traditions, the slogans, the daily readings, the meetings, the shares and the service work, I have felt myself healing. I quickly worked...	cloudyskies	11	756	Jan 22, 2015 by cloudyskies
	Getting ah out of my head (Preview) I am trying to get my ah out of my head and heart. I am still grieving after him being gone for 6 months. i can not seem to think straight,focus or trust myself with big decisions.i need to get my tax returns prepared for my accountant and have them mailed first week in feb i can not even start them and it will...	Mirandac	9	674	Jan 22, 2015 by Mirandac
	Too Many Emotions (Preview) I am the wife of an alcoholic. He is 62 days sober today and I am so very proud of his progress and commitment to sobriety. He is taking an active role in our family again, helping out around our household and best of all just present in the day, which is something we haven't experienced in about the last 3...	CDOD	11	3169	Jan 22, 2015 by grateful2be
	Spiritual Awakenings (Preview) I was raised in a household that went to church 3 times a week. This wasn't just a 'go to church and listen to the sermon" type religion. This was a church that taught its members how to understand and then teach others what the bible message was. We had study aids, books and magazines with questions...	kismetstrand	7	606	Jan 22, 2015 by grateful2be
	Jan 22 readings (Preview) C2C reading for today speaks about the power of detachment. It points out that living with active alcoholism is confusing and unsettling so that we often develop negative coping tools in order to have some semblance of order in our lives. Some of these tools are destructive and we need to change t...	hotrod	25	510	Jan 22, 2015 by grateful2be
	Questions about the Alateen board... (Preview) Does Alanon have oversight of the Alateen board...? The board has not had any active members for a while. I see that there is a call for funding from members for $50 or $60... ...all groups should be self supporting, including Alateen. But with no members, why should any incoming members have to pay ar...	DavidG	3	508	Jan 21, 2015 by DavidG
	the welcome pack (Preview) The alanon welcome pack is the best thing ive ever read. The leaflet on detachment was the best tool ive ever learned and used. It gave me a lot. When i learned to detach with love i got freedom. I learned, i didnt need to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people. Not to allow myself to be u...	el-cee	15	1394	Jan 21, 2015 by neshema2
	fear and doubt (Preview) This is something I've struggled with for years though I like to think I've gotten better at. I'm starting my new course next week. It will license me for self employment. I think I could potentially be great at it as I like public speaking though it terrifies me and I do love the freedom of self employmen...	aquamom23	9	610	Jan 21, 2015 by PP
	Thoughts from ODAT 1-21 (Preview) ODAT reading for today offers a great topic to consider and meditate on . The reading is urging us to keep the focus on ourselves , appreciate what we have in our lives and not compare ourselves to others. As I read this meditation I was reminded of the Al-Anon slogan which suggests that we:"...	hotrod	9	610	Jan 21, 2015 by PP
	im back im stronger (Preview) i am doing okay . im carfull what i say here only because i have ppl who like to ruin my achievement of getting better . im tending a meeting to night i miss everyone. im grateful for what i have ,im grateful im alive today and have my children and new healthy friends. im happy today	Wisdom67	5	445	Jan 21, 2015 by Jerry F
	trying not to blame the Ah (Preview) This morning in the wee hours I am up again. I am so frustrated & angry w him because he wakes me up every morning to go to the bathroom & to take a BP pill. My dilemma is that I am an insomniac & have been sleeping bad since around Christmas time. So really it is not his fault that he chooses to stay...	Hoot Nanny	3	416	Jan 21, 2015 by hotrod
	Fifty (Preview) Well as of yesterday it's official I hit the half century mark. I had mixed feelings on it....reviewed my life, wondered what I had accomplished in all that time, decided it wasn't to much I guess not anymore than any others have done, decided it's only a number, decided I am permanently 48 and then real...	Flower49	17	771	Jan 21, 2015 by Hoot Nanny
	How is alcoholism a disease? (Preview) Things are all over the place right now and I am really struggling. One thing that I can't seem to get past is the idea that alcohlism is a disease. I feel like if I could grasp that concept I would be better able to see my AH with compassion and acceptance. And I think that would play a big role in detachin...	searching4peace	27	4856	Jan 20, 2015 by John
	Struggling alot today (Preview) Things appear to be, getting worse with my AD. Losing one job after the other, continued lies, etc. I don't know why I keep expecting everything to just suddenly turn around when she is doing nothing to have that happen. I keep trying to work step one over and over again but honestly feel very overwh...	serenity47	13	792	Jan 20, 2015 by cloudyskies
	Brand New (Preview) Hello all. So brand new to this and going to try to find an Al-anon meeting around my house. We have been in financial chaos and so focused on my AH's recovery that I've barely had time to take care of myself. Be warned I'm in the beginning steps here. AH is about 40 days clean and I'm still holding onto a...	jwall729	5	612	Jan 20, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Needing some advice. ( 1 2 ) (Preview) My boyfriend a recovering opiate addict has been in rehab for 2 weeks now. He called me every morning and every night. Well Saturday we talked and everything was fine and he told me he loved me and he would call me in the morning. Well I never heard from him and I still haven't. It's been 2 days and it's very u...	Nailsxtacks	43	1197	Jan 20, 2015 by neshema2
	This just isn't going to go the way I want. (Preview) And maybe that's OK. It has been years since I spent any length of time with my mother, you might recall I spent 3 days at her holiday house a year ago and almost lost my mind. The thing is a year later and with what I think are more refined and defined boundaries, I have no tolerance for it, and am finding any k...	missmeliss	9	693	Jan 20, 2015 by hotrod
	Submission to WSO Al-Anon for our 4th Reader and/or the Forum (Preview) Today, I submitted the first of what I wanted to write on according to the Al-Anon guides for our new reader and/or the Forum magazine. I learned about this opportunity and shared with all of you last week. It took me about a week to actually sit down and write what will be the first of several submissio...	grateful2be	6	461	Jan 20, 2015 by hotrod
	Pink Chip (Preview) Welcome Back Mark You have been missed.	hotrod	21	862	Jan 20, 2015 by pinkchip
	Hitting walls and confused (Preview) I can't find anyone, except for one house, where someone will rent to me without me having a monthly job sourced income. They all want my AH on the lease and that's the last thing I want. I went to see the one property who said she would work with me and I liked it a lot. So, at least this is a positive. My lawy...	andromeda	8	521	Jan 20, 2015 by andromeda
	Higher Power is faithful in small and large things (Preview) I often can't sleep, I've long left my alcoholic relationship but my own issues remain.. I was letting a situation regarding my mother wanting me to attend/ work at an event I have turned down a million times and her "talking to" my bf and asking him to "talk to me" to get me to p...	glad	3	609	Jan 20, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Dealing with passive-aggressive co-workers. i have had enough (Preview) Today at work I had an interaction with a co worker that left me wondering if I was crazy. Why do I always end up pointing the finger at myself? Since I started Al anon, I have been more direct with co workers. Basically, the coworker asked me if I needed help. I am a nurse. at first I said no...but then she me...	Newlife girl	7	2376	Jan 20, 2015 by Breakingfree
	bad things keep happening and I have no traction (Preview) Today I received a call from the people I sublease my office from. They're expanding and already brought someone on board, are financially backing the new person's rent. The new person is already certified in what I am in the process of achieving for certification. I'll be certified by next year t...	bud	13	721	Jan 20, 2015 by bud
	Hope for Today... 18th Jan. (Preview) Living at peace with ourselves and others... ...that seems revolutionary and radical to me... after all aren't we supposed to work hard for others... ? wouldn't being at peace with myself be selfish, self gratifying? The old rip-cord idea... don't try to save others until you have pulled your own r...	DavidG	6	661	Jan 20, 2015 by DavidG
	Board Moderators Needed and Donations for site funding (closed) (Preview) This time of year is when everything comes due on the web sites annual expenses, so if you have the ability please consider making a 5-10 dollar donation to help offset the cost of this site. It is important that the site remains self supporting through its member contributions, and the burden of expe...	John	2	759	Jan 20, 2015 by hotrod
	Detachment with AH when kids are involved...HOW?? (Preview) Ive been separated from my husband for 4 mos and am having a hard time detaching because we have 2 kids who love and want to spend regular time with their dad. I'll be honest, I am still in love with him and miss him terribly and am having a hard time with the idea that our marriage may be beyond reconcilliati...	Hopefull15	10	624	Jan 20, 2015 by grateful2be
	Not program related, need advice (Preview) Most of you know that my son plays tennis at tournaments that take weekends to finish. I spend my days sitting around watching tennis matches and all of the other parents have been my friends for many years now. One of my son's best friends has a dad who is a dentist and who is, quite frankly, a very stran...	andromeda	19	876	Jan 20, 2015 by grateful2be
	Need Serenity/dopey ah (Preview) i have little serenity just sad frustration today. my AH has a sleeping problem but just like his drinking problem,he ejects all help,advice from me and also from people outside. So every weekend he drinks and takes pills,the monday comes and he tells work he didnt get any sleep..well if being in a dea...	YARNCRAZY	4	623	Jan 20, 2015 by el-cee
	Today's alanon reading (Preview) C2C January 19 speaks about acceptance of ourselves. It points out that we are all imperfect humans and that we are all still children of God who are committed to growing spiritually and changing. Since we are committed to seeing our limitations and flaws, this page urges us to discard our nega...	hotrod	6	3811	Jan 19, 2015 by hotrod
	Childhood guilt, depression, the brain and science (Preview) There is an interesting study that might be of help to parents feeling guilty because their children/adult children are/were often depressed - with or without alcohol. Scientists have discovered a link between brain function and excessive guilt in children that can develop into depression in l...	grateful2be	13	928	Jan 19, 2015 by grateful2be
	Seeing it in myself. (Preview) Tonight my sister called me and asked me if I had a particular movie she wants to watch (I keep an extensive library of movies as well as books, it's a "thing" of mine) and could I set up a computer with the television so she can watch it when she gets here. (The technology in this house is kind of....	missmeliss	6	578	Jan 19, 2015 by likemyheart
	Lashed out at my ABF over the phone, beating myself up for getting angry at him. (Preview) So here I am working on Step one, and I get angry at my ABF on the phone and lash out, again, I am such an idiot. I haven't seen him since Christmas Day when I walked out after finding him drunk again. Then he started AA, and he keeps telling me how much fun he has there, and hasn't drank a drop since. The onl...	Katrina324	14	800	Jan 19, 2015 by mjferg
	Tree houses and muddy dogs. (Preview) I spoke on the phone to my mother today. She is still away and due to return tomorrow. She asked what I am planning for daughter's birthday next Sunday. I remind her that I have said several times it would be nice if we could join her at her beach house for the birthday weekend, as daughter loves it there or o...	missmeliss	16	949	Jan 18, 2015 by aquamom23
	avoided some quick sand and did it ala Al-anon (Preview) the bio sister appeared on my text again...no worries, i am keeping my distance and i knew she would re-contact me which , again, no worries b/c i am keeping my distance, being nice...not putting myself out there re: hot topics for her to push any buttons...not going anywhere with her but our mutual lo...	neshema2	10	683	Jan 18, 2015 by grateful2be
	Weird!!! (Preview) My wife and I contacted a virus suspecting that we got it from a member in our home group. Anyhow I don't often get sick and this time I've never been so sick. My wife got some OTC meds from the drug store which I dutifully took yesterday afternoon and night and then wasn't able to sleep and ended up hal...	Jerry F	14	735	Jan 18, 2015 by PP
	So hard! So frustrated! (Preview) Hi Dear MIP family! I'm working so hard for my baby photos! The drama, the chaos, the insanity- all of which I am choosing to walk through just to have my childhood memories returned to me. For those that didn't see earlier posts, my sister took the entire contents of my parent's estate last year witho...	bud	15	764	Jan 18, 2015 by Jerry F
	I'm tired... (Preview) I have been really tired lately. I have missed three weeks of my f2f meetings and I feel like I'm floundering for my life preserver. Confusion seems to be clouding my judgment. I've been still so that I could hear God speaking to me. He has given me direction, but then I feel doubt and confusion creeping b...	cloudyskies	11	736	Jan 18, 2015 by grateful2be
	Working on some things .. (Preview) Darn it I had something typed out and it got erased as I'm having connection issues. I wanted to share some experience that I had over the past weekend, that really tells me how far I've come in the last 3 years and I'm hoping I'm not repeating myself. Sometimes I have a lot to say and sometimes not so much...	SerenityRUS	3	825	Jan 18, 2015 by hotrod
	Summary of Today's C2C and ODAT Reading (Preview) The ODA T January 17 speaks about the destructive tools that we, who live with the disease develop over the course of time while living in the insanity. Here is an example of the weapons that most of us use: indignation irresponsible accusations, nagging, tears, hysteria and self-righteousne...	hotrod	4	792	Jan 18, 2015 by grateful2be
	Many of us come here already stirred up like a lady bug in a tornado the last thing we need is more drama (Preview) I posted on something that rippled me a little and instead of stopping and thinking I reacted and posted. I now am of course rethinking the whole thing, but you can never take it back, so my learning lesson in it all is to calm the waters and not to further add ripples or waves. We come here broken and batter...	Breakingfree	15	1102	Jan 18, 2015 by PP
	blindsided by revengeful feelings. (Preview) Well its been a nice month without chaos in my living space. Seperation has been the best thing for me all round though not as clear cut as it "should" be. Although we are not living together, some aspects of our lives remain entwined. Coming from a small island, there's no chance of forgett...	aquamom23	20	1029	Jan 18, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Trying to stick to boundaries-much support needed (Preview) Hello all , I am new here. My loved one recently went to jail last week due to his addictions. I have been through 2 years of him being in and out of rehab several times. The last rehab he was in I wrote a letter to him and laid out my boundaries. In that letter I said that I would end the relationship if he crosse...	AinWisconsin	4	602	Jan 18, 2015 by Lyne
	Bogged Down ... (Preview) I haven't posted in a while. I still read posts daily and I appreciate everyone's advice. I am bogged down with his alcoholic behaviors. I try and try to stay out of it then he goes off drinking and doesn't come home til 4:30 am. I just don't understand how he can be out drinking for over 12 hours. He's o...	Hullibee	22	810	Jan 18, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	a challenge to joint prayer time prayer Higher Power religion fear (Preview) I'm a civilian and my wife has 30 years in Al-Anon. We are newly married (things are really good, I'm so glad that I married her) and are beginning to try to integrate our prayer lives. She is a devout Roman Catholic and I was raised an Evangelical Protestant, now attending Episcopalian. Most of her p...	drywit44	10	9070	Jan 18, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Gratitude (Preview) I just want to share that I am truly filled with happiness right now. Just two years ago, my AH had passed away suddenly right in the midst of our divorce proceedings, I was living in a very small small apartment by myself, my AD was not speaking to me and did not want to see me, I didn't have a dime to my name an...	Green Eyes	3	882	Jan 17, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Needing Info (Preview) So my husband decided to throw out all of the alcohol in our house, including his hidden alcohol (I knew about it but never told him) on Monday. He told me that he had it hidden, which gives me hope that he's trying to move forward since he didn't realize that I knew about it. He is stopping for 30 days to prov...	flagbabe83	8	785	Jan 17, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	guns (Preview) So, when my husband was actively drinking and continuously intoxicated, I locked up the guns in their cabinet and took the keys as I moved out. He never noticed the two weeks before he collapsed and went by ambulance to the hospital for two weeks then to rehab for 30 days. However, now sober and home, he h...	ssilver	17	940	Jan 17, 2015 by Jerry F
	Tears of relief!!!!! (Preview) I signed a lease yesterday. And paid some rent and generally secured a house for myself and my girl. Let's start with the important stuff. Here's where we will be walking the dog each evening (a 2 minute drive away or maybe 20 minute walk) So it's in town, which will take some getting used to, but it is...	missmeliss	18	747	Jan 16, 2015 by Sweet Stanley
	Hope for Today - January 16 (Preview) The writer refers to her early Al-Anon days. It was difficult for her to understand humility and how to develop it. Being teachable was a concept that she could grasp. She decided to look at how she could change herself so that she could become more open and willing to learn. She decided that skippi...	grateful2be	9	953	Jan 16, 2015 by grateful2be
	He~art and she~art... (Preview) I was an artistic kid in the sporty frontier style community... ...drinking was 'a way of life' for quite a body of people. An alcoholic was someone who 'drank with the flies' in a corner of the bar.... My rural community is no longer really rural- so many changes! I am still finding my family and my com...	DavidG	10	650	Jan 16, 2015 by tiredtonite
	I'm so over one of my so called school friends (Preview) I carpool with a younger woman who lives at home with her parents. To save money, because we travel one hour each way to college Monday-Friday we carpool. It is no longer worth it for me, nobody else frustrates me the way she does and I walk away most days wondering if she is trying to undermine me on purpos...	Breakingfree	9	790	Jan 16, 2015 by neshema2
	Sweet Freedom (Preview) I have a long weekend,no school today or Monday.My daughter and I are going to have some fun.Thrift store shopping and eating out.It feels so good to be able to have fun and not worry about coming home to chaos!!!Have a great weekend.	mjferg	3	472	Jan 16, 2015 by mjferg
	lol (Preview) I don't laugh so much at A these days unless he makes a joke; I guess now that I don't live with him, I don't live in a constant state of desperation where I have to choose between laughing or losing my mind. But this made me giggle. I was telling him about my new place. It's small, only 2 bedrooms, no spare sp...	missmeliss	5	821	Jan 16, 2015 by DavidG
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