"...And acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.  Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."  "The Big Book;" 3rd ed 449; 4th ed, 417

 I have read some rather distressed persons finding out that this was a public, not a private forum. Now, if some of our more, ahem, technologically versed members will correct me if needed, my understanding of private forums go something like this: private forums are based usually on specific networks; for example, when I am signed up for specific classes, we have specific chatrooms and message boards that ONLY the professor, members of the class, the dean of the university and the chair of the department can access. After final exams for the quarter, the forum for this class becomes closed--for example, the forum for "American Diplomatic History Since World War I" will close after final exams in march. However, I do have access to what are known as private ongoing forums: these include the housing complex that I live in; other students that share my major; students that have the same advisor as I do; but again, this is temporary. After I graduate, I will no longer have access to these message boards, chat rooms, et cetera--only students enrolled part time, are students of good standing, and meet specific criteria will be allowed in the specific forums (for example, I have no access to electronic message boards for students that are English majors, or Physics majors; I only have access to electronic message boards, chat rooms and other things for my specific program within the theater department as approved by my advisor and the chair of the department; likewise, no physics major or english major has access to any of  MY stuff in the Theater department, simply because they have no need to.)

 Now, right there I told some Nosy Hacker an awful lot about me; but at the same time, I'm helping people here on the board. And I'd like to say more.

 Major corporations--3M, Coca Cola, Pepsi, any corporation you can think of--also uses the principle I just explained: if you are working within a certain sector, you will have passcodes and access to certain areas of the company that you need to electronically, and if you don't, you won't. It simply isn't relevant. However, that is within the company; just like the forums and the chatrooms are within the university, I have to use passcodes, numbers and be "on the list" to access them. That's not the case here. We are a public forum by virtue of anyone can participate by simply signing up. (Remember how you did it? You emailed John? Volia! That's what a public message server means.)  This is not to say that just because I'm "allowed" on private message servers I have "privacy;" the university still has its methods to "supervise me,"  just like any employer "supervises" it employees use of the internet at work.

  Now, take a deep breath and think for a minute. What if, just what if, something that one of us posted encouraged  1 more person to break the paralyzing isolation of the family disease of alcholism and go to an al anon meeting? What if, just what if, someone hasn't registered because they're too beaten down emotionally to think what they have to say is of any value, but they've started taking the suggestions they're reading here, and applying it to their lives?  What if, just what if, 1 more person stopped enabling their alcholic, and started taking care of themselves, letting their loved one reach their bottom with dignity? It bears remembering this message board is not all about US getting what we need! We give it away too! We give away the reality that "I've been there! I remember! I understand! I haven't forgotten! It's okay! Honest!"  Anytime we forget that, we forget what we're here for--to recover from the effects of the disease of alcholism.