You may recall my husband was arrested for DUI on 12/30. He hit another car, and a telephone pole, then made it back to our house, where he was arrested.  This is his 3rd in the last 4 years, 4th lifetime.  I was pretty sure he was going to jail.  I am now solely responsible for supporting my three young children. 

Apparently this state and the neighboring ones don't communicate very well.  On Jan. 2, I got a call from the courthouse telling me he was free to go.  He'd pled guilty to the charge of DUI, 1st offense, rec'd a one year suspended sentence and a year probation, 3 month loss of license, along with a court-mandated rehab program. I had other commitments, so I couldn't go to get him right away.  But I did go pick him up about 6 hours later, when I could fit it into my schedule.  He admitted he needed long term help.  He's been out of work for a year, has no means of transportation, and can't seem to stay away from alcohol for more than a few hours if he has access. 

During the past week, I found out the car was totalled, and our insurance policy is being cancelled.  I'd promised to drive him to see his out-of-state probation officer on Thursday; of course, when we got there, the probation officer had left the building; we had to go back the next day.  (Keep in mind, each of these trips is about 120 miles round trip for me.)   Wednesday of this week we had to run around getting title paperwork and license plates returned to the DMV.  Not a great start to the new year, I guess.  But....

I dropped my AH off this morning for a one-year stay at a rehab facility about two hours from where I'm presently living.   I decided to find the bright spots in this mess - and there are a lot of them!!

1.  The car is totalled - he can't drive drunk anymore!!!  The world is a safer place for all of us.  The insurance company paid the tow and storage bills.  And since we actually paid it off last December, I'll be getting a check for just over $5,000 - enough to pay next month's mortage and a few other bills!

2.  He's "going away", as he put, it for a year.  He has a place to live (other than the house I'm trying to sell!)  This program charges a grand total of $300 for an entire year - a place to live, food, counseling, the works.  I told my husband today I would happily pay the entire fee for this program for him.  (The fines from the DUI are all his, though.)  As far as my kids are concerned, they know where Daddy is going to be for the next year.  He started to tell them he was "going away."  I said, "No, Daddy's going to be at X.  Remember that place?  AND we get to go see him every month!  Isn't that great!  Daddy's going to spend a whole year working on learning how to not drink beer." They went from tears to laughing in seconds. 

3.  The insurance policy is cancelled.  Well, I've moved, but just not completely yet.  This is just making me get my my butt in gear and insure and register MY car in this state.  He'll be off my insurance, too!

4.  Once I clean the house up tomorrow, it will be ready for the realtor to show it any time.  I won't have to have her check in an hour ahead to see if he's sober, or if the place is "safe" to show. 

5.  For the next year, I know he can concentrate on his recovery, and I can concentrate on me and the kids.  I've been "solely supporting" the kids most of the last three years (working through our savings, though).  Without the expenses of the house, once it sells, and his drinking habit to support, that should be a WHOLE LOT easier.  It's a win-win for all of us. 

When I found out about the accident on the 30th, I coulnd't imagine things getting too much worse - unless he had hurt or killed someone else, or himself.  But I've decided that HP knows what he's doing... this accident has brought a lot of good things to my family, hope for a better future among them.

Since it's almost 10:00 here on the East Coast, I am going to treat myself to a night off from work and get to bed early.  Have a great weekend!

Linda