The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I AM SO CODEPENDANT THAT I JUST WANT TO SCREAM! I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING BUT I CANT ALWAYS CHANGE MY REACTIONS. MY HUSBAND IS OR WAS LIKE HE SAYS ADDICTED TO SEX. HE WAS FIANLLY AFTER YEARS OF THIS GOING ON AND GOING THROUGH SO MUCH THERAPY HE FINALLY HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED BI-POLAR. I AM EXHAUSTED AND LOST. I WENT THROUGH THERAPY FOR ALONG TIME AND I FELT GOOD ABOUT MYSELF AND STRONG. THEN MY PARENTS BOTH BECAME SICK AND I AM SO LOST AGAIN. IT IS TO HARD TO DEAL WITH TAKING CARE OF MY PARENTS, MARRAGE AND MYSELF( I HAVE AN AUTOIMMUNE DISEASE THAT CAN BE REALLY TIRING AT TIMES TO MAKE IT THROUGH THE DAY) MY HUSBAND AND I GO TO MARRAGE COUNSELING BUT HE THINKS THAT EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE AND I SHOULD JUST SHUT UP AND MOVE ON. HE DOESNT TALK WHEN WE ARE IN THERAPY AND I GET SO UPSET AND WHEN WE COME OUT OF THE OFFICE AND GET IN THE CAR HE JUMPS ALL OVER ME. ITS LIKE HE SO CONTROLS HIMSELF WHILE WE ARE IN THE OFFICE AND I PERCIEVE OUR MARRAGE SO DIFFERANTLY THAN HE DOES.I JUST FALL APART. I AM TIRED. I NEED SUPPORT AND FEEDBACK.. I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE ANYMORE.
my ex- husband is bipolar one. he also is an addict/alcoholic and he had major issues with sex when in a manic phase. his councilor at rehab termed it sex addiction. who knows. i just know that i understand what your saying and i can so relate to how your feeling. we did marriage councling and i don't know if he ever understood that for it to be effective we had to use what we learned in a session in our life outside of the office. like if we went and tried hard to be open and whatever during that 50 minutes then we could--he could-- just be our "old"selves at home. we didn't divorce because of the mental illness or the addiction. i just grew away from wanting to live like i was living. there is hope here.....just keep comming back.....
Welcome to the board. Although I have not had experience with a person diagnosed as bi-polar, I do have many experiences with alcoholics. I to had a similar scenario with my A husband and counseling. For me I found that the reason he said nothing in counseling was that I wasnt letting him. I would go on & on about his bad points etc. Why would he want to say anything? More importantly I found that the counselor we had was not a good match for us because he allowed this to go on. We a couple of years later sought out a different counselor who point blank during one session told me to shutup and listen. I was flabberghasted for sure. However, it was the best thing that could have happened. He coaxed my hubs to open up and I heard a lot of things I needed to hear from him.
I tell you all of this because maybe this counselor is not the right match for you. It might be worth it to look at what you are getting out of the sessions. If you are not feeling the connection then maybe it is time to look for someone else.
Karen
__________________
Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
I'm a counselor by profession, but I'm also here as I work through my wife's alcoholism.
I've worked with people who are bipolar numerous times. They are often unaware how the symptoms of their illness impact others around them, especially during their manic moods. Which mirrors alcoholic perceptions as well.
I won't give you advice about what to do in your relationship, as you will find your path that best suits you. But I would encourage you to point out in your session the dynamic you talk about with your husband not saying anything in sessions. If you haven't brought that to your counselor's attention, in some ways you're doing what you accuse your husband of doing: not speaking up during the session.
I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL FOR REPLYING. IT HELPS TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT ALONE. THE INPUT HAS HELPED ME TO THINK AND TO KEEP MY HEAD A LITTLE STRAIGHTER. I REALLY DO FEEL THAT WE NEED TO CHANGE THERAPISTS. WE DID HAVE A THERAPIST THAT WAS REALLY GOOD BUT SHE LEFT FOR A NEW POSITION. THIS MAN THAT WE ARE SEEING NOW JUST MAKES MY HEAD SPIN.
