The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I filed for child support a month or two ago and had nowhere to have my AH served but now he is in a recovery house and working so I called them today and provided them with all the info. even did a little research to get the company info. It was Hard (emotionally of course)! As it is he has no order of support it has just been me taking what he feels like giving. I know I'm gonna hear about this soon. Hope it doesn't affect his job but I'm tired of counting on him to do the right thing and suffering the consequence. I think if someone else is doing the collecting they won't be swayed by stories of I'll give it to you on the next check which never comes!
Just found out that if I don't do something about the truck repo I won't be buying a house for the next ten years!
Just when Mr. resentment starts to go away he pops his ugly little head up again and puts the bitter taste back in my mouth!
Boy can I feel your pain Carolina girl! I called the judge's assistant again today to find out when he will assign a hearing date on my child support case. My ex AH usually loses his job about the time I am to get money. I am tired of begging for every red cent! Do whatever you have to do and do not wait! I have been putting up with this crap for 2 years and it has been since August that I have been fighting for money. I still have gotten nothing! Except aggravated at the red tape involved and the stress I have had to go through.
I really hope you get the "big book," the AA book. In the section about amends there's a specific part about alimony and how the alcholic had not kept up with the payments. Now, keeping in mind how back in the day's of the first printing alimony generally covered child support too, you can see how a woman that ideally wasn't supposed to be working, let alone be breaking her wedding vows could be in a bit of a bind here. Anyway, the line goes something to the effect that the recovering alcholc sent an extensive letter about his wrongs, his side of the street and his amends, plus a check for some amount of money. The story goes on that the matter was ironed out between them and they're all square now.
The fact of the matter is that unless we are totally willing to give ourselves to the program--and I'm not just talking about alcholics here,--we're never gonna get the benefits. Right now you're at the turning point of "Do I really give this everything I've got, or do I just quit while I'm ahead?" I would really encourage you to size up your life as it was before recovery, and as it is now that you have a modicum of recovery. The fact of the matter is that without action, fear dominates us; with action, fear is dominated. If you are totally willing from here on in to take the next right action, do the next right thing and stand emotionally on your own two feet, than you really can make this program work in your life for you. But if you're gonna waffle back and forth and listen to the "bad taste in your moulth," than I highly suggest you try it your way for awhile, see what it's like to have your misery refunded.
If one does not humble oneself to a higher power, one will be humbled to a higher power. I suggest you begin the process now.
I'll pass on the refund! I don't see where I was waffling except on the subject of this meeting and what to do/not to do with my feelings about it. As for the child support, I did that because I thought it was the right thing to do and need to establish an order in the hope that we may get something eventually. I like the idea of the list of acceptable/nonacceptalbe things and I'm gonna work on that, it's a good suggestion. I guess I am a bit of a waffler I was just thinking there should be a sometimes acceptable column.
Take it from a past finance career person if you can't pay for it? Let it go!! Living 10 years in the future is crazy making and collectors love threats that are idle. If you look at the current mortgage industry you will see what I mean and yet from my experience I have helped many to get a mortgage that had repos, bks and the like. You are doing good with the child support endeavor and I pray your courage hold out. You both are responsible for the children you create. Family issues are huge in the disease of alcoholism. I am in the program because I enabled my alcoholic to be irresponsible along with a group of others. That is what I am trying to change even when feeling fearful about what might happen, how they might feel, people will think I'm a money grubber etc. etc.
Doing the courageous thing is what recovery is about. Doing the right thing is doing what is right for you and the children.
