Wow, this really is a rollercoaster!  I mean just the other nite I was here saying "why do we do this?"  But even before that post I had asked for some suggestions on helping my 12 year old son cope.  See, my son had not experienced the effects of alcoholism until I married my husband in June of 2006.  It's all very new to him, but as some of you know, I was raised in an alcoholic home which presented much more darkness than my current home does.  Becuz of the darkness I experienced as a child, I was terrified of what my son would go thru when I realised that my husband was/is an alcoholic.  I freaked out!!  Well, of course, that freaked him out.  See in the beginning he would say "Mom, I don't see what the big deal is, if "L" wants to drink.  It's not a problem."  But I thought "are you out of your mind kid, what do you know?"  I didn't stop to think "He has not experienced alcoholism the way I have ... and he may never have to."  Anywho, the more fear I displayed, the more it grew on him.  I am trying to reverse that fear in him.  He and I were out last night and I said ...

"I grew up in a family where my dad drank everyday.  My mom was very ill (depression, anxiety, nervous breakdowns,).  Our home was messy and we didn't have any money.  It was very ugly.  So becuz of that, when I realised that "L" was an alcoholic, I thought our lives would be like that.  But I have come to realise that is not the case.  We are different and ... "

Then I started telling him about alanon in a way that he could understand.  I also told him about alateen and invited to help him look into it if he was interested.  My son was thrilled to know that there are other families that go thru this and to be honest he was also thrilled to know that there we are also blessed in many ways and it is not all dark. 

I know that I have continued healing and growing to do... I pray that our chats will give him freedom and courage.  He and I will continue attending church and keep praying that my husband will join us again one day!!  Thank you all for letting me into your worlds and helping me see straight in mine - you are all blessings!!