The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I found a meeting, tomorrow night at 7:00, I can walk to it (about a mile, but I love to walk). I don't want my H to know about it. Is that normal? To tell the truth, I've been terrified that we would find these posts, I even had a nightmare about it. I just feel like I have been so broken down that I need to rebuild myself. He will not be into me going to the meeting, and he has to watch the kids while I'm gone. Also, I don't drive, so I will be gone a little while. I am very dependant on my husband, have made no friends here, and am very insecure with social phobias (hey, my husband is not the only one with issues). I don't even know how to drive! I feel like a little animal living under a rock and my husband is that rock. I guess I thought that would work out and now I know it can't, and I have to get out from under the rock and the rock wont move. AAAHH!
I really want to thank everyone here, I've felt alot better since I came here not so long ago. It's like someone's been holding my hand. I will try to make it to the meeting, but it needs alot of doing on my part. If I don't make it tomorrow, I will eventually.
Jamie
__________________
I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
I concur with Christy... congrats on finding a meeting J!!! as for telling hubby.. well, do you think he will ask? IF he asks, I would probably tell the truth (keep my side of the street clean). my words to my wife were "I'm doing this for me. I deserve it, I want it, and I am going." i didn't wait to get her approval, because, of course, it would've never came.
very proud of you!!!!! cj
__________________
time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
as for telling hubby.. well, do you think he will ask?
Yes I do. I know it's a little silly...for one thing I am always responsible for the kids. If I leave them with him he has to know for how long. I'd hate to sneak out the door the way he does to me; anyway if I did it would be headline news. I will probably say I'm going for a walk, but it's dodgey at best. I always try to keep my side of the street clean!
__________________
I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
It's better to tell the truth, but if you are afraid and are not ready to take that step, then get to your meeting however you can. Something like "I need some 'me' time'"is not a lie, but doesn't start a confrontation, either. I got to alanon about three years after I first thought of going, for exactly that type of reason - what will I tell him,who'll look after the kids, blah blah.... Now I see that most of what was holding me back was my own sickness - as you say, HE'S not the only one with issues. If I had truly believed that I was worth saving, I would have taken some steps to save myself.
Honey, just go to your meetings. If he asks, tell him your meeting friends at the church to play cards. One wiman went grocery shopping 5x a week. Aparrently they kept running out of milk. What they did w/ 5 pints of milk...I dont know. God knows it was always fresh.
