The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today begins the second Year of Jill, 2 of 7. I wrote about this a year ago. I realized all our attention had been on my active A husband for the 7 years we’d known each other, and I claimed the next 7 for myself. It’s not easy! I have his complete agreement. He has written me two songs for the Year of Jill, and will sing them to me as proof he’s behind the program. In the heat of an argument I’ll remind him it’s MY year (keep in mind it’s never germane to what we’re “discussing”) and he agrees.
The deal is that I’m the one for whom it’s easier to focus on him. I am the one who needs to put my needs first for me. Easier to say than do, but I’ve made progress in this year. When I notice I claim time for myself instead of participating in the drama (he’s active in his disease), I congratulate myself on getting with the Year. Even making and keeping doctor’s appointments is progress in this campaign. I’m not going to need all seven years, but good thing I claimed more than one year. I will use whatever remains of the 7 to ENJOY the Year of Jill. The thing is he’s never resentful when I do for myself, when I ask him to do what I want, etc. Why did I think it would blow up on me? If he’s not willing to do what I want, he says and we can work something out.
Any progress I really credit AlAnon for my better way of thinking, and all of you are such a part of this. Thank you Jill
I got such a tickle out of this idea--the year of ME parts 1-7--I love it! I love that you gave yourself plenty of time and space to relearn how to focus on you again. I find sometimes that I am impatient with myself and want myself to change NOW, so your post was a great reminder that it took a long time to get this way, and it will take a long time to change things. I love, too, that you have emphasized ENJOYING the things that you're doing for yourself. It's so easy to poo-poo the idea of doing even little things for ourselves to strengthen our well-being--how can that possibly help? But, I've found it's in doing even the smallest things for myself consistently is where the miracle lies. You go, girl!
I always thought you were really cool, now I am sure, LOL!
What an inspiration! I LOVE your idea!
What a hubby you have too, writing two songs to celebrate "The Year of Jill" (part 2 of 7, LOL)!
And, to let you remind him of it and to take it seriously in the middle of an argument! I am impressed!
I think you have inspired me...
I think I will declare this "The Year of Isabela", only I know I won't get any support like you get, LOL (I will just write my own song and hey a poem too! LOL!).
It is about time for me I am telling you!
I have several things that I have wanted to do and have been putting off that I no longer will.
The first thing is to take guitar lessons. I just read in the paper again that someone close by is giving lessons, as usual I sighed inside that I never seem to have time to learn, well I am going to MAKE TIME!
Ok, that is for January. I think to celebrate the year of Isabela I will do one big thing I have been putting off each month, that will be a good start. I still have not figured out what I will do for February, but, I have a few weeks to decide!
Hey, keep us informed about "The Year of Jill Part 2 of 7" I truly think this is a marvelous idea and want to thank you for sharing it.
We all need more great ideas like this to help us LEARN to take care of ourselves. Sometimes caring for our A's seems gets to be a hard habit to break, it is almost like we even forget how to take care of ourselves.
I can give you another idea how to take care of you, LOL, one I recently discovered.
I go down to the utility room and turn up the water heater to the max, LOL, then while the water is heating up I make and eat a nice breakfast for myself in the picture window in the living room on a tray table in the sun. Then I take a LONG (usually an hour!) leisurely hot shower and don't stop until I am good and ready, I don't have to get out since I ran out of hot water. Then I turn the water heater back to normal when I am done. This really does not cost that much and I am WORTH IT! LOL!
I have to shower and eat anyway, so, why not make it an opportunity to pamper myself? LOL!
Let's keep sharing ways we will celebrate our years, and once again, thanks for the inspiration!
heck ((isa)), go ahead and keep the water heater turned up -- i swear, it will cost less than a case a beer a month in electricity!!!! yours in cahoots cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
That is AWESOME !! I deemed last year 2006 the year of CHANGE now 2007 is the year of ME.. We are on the same page !! I didnt make any New Years Resolutions just the commitment to take care of ME, spiritually, emotionally and physicially ..
We can support each other :) My husband although we are seperated is a bit confused by the year of ME.. He doesnt get it but ya know what ??? He doesnt have to ..
