The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I reposted to my post a bit back about my A supposed to be having his sister come get him. She never came. My therapist is telling me not to call his sisters back to get him unless I like the drama. I want him out. I need to find a way. When he goes back to work, he said if the door was locked he would beat it down. Maybe an idle threat but he put another hole in my wall--different place and almost broke my TV last night. I have already begun to talk to him about this but today I will tell him I cannot keep my agreement to let him stay until he can find another place. He said, after all I have done and do for you. I let him get me on that one. Screw what he did. It is what he is doing to me with the alcohol that completely overrides any nice thing he does/did for me. I guess he thought he would get on my good side by cleaning my nasty kitchen. I seriously need the words to say and the strrength from God to do it. Please pray for me all of you.
__________________
This is HippieTrippieChick Signing Off
Be blessed and have a wonderful day.
Remember God loves you.
PEACE
Alanon teaches us skills how to take care of our selves. So for me, it helped me when my sisters and brothers here asked me questions. That would make me think.
So I would like to ask, What do you want out of this relationship? What do you really want to see happen?
Is it a healthy relationship for you? Can you accept it as is?
Sometimes it takes several times of asking them to leave and they leave, but we allow them back, before we really take a stand and make it permanent.
They are familiar to us, being with out them isn't. Like a horse running back to a burning barn, it is familiar.
We focus on what we can do make ourselves feel better. I see you doing that by coming here, reaching out for literature, going to a therapist and letting the A know how you feel.
I would ask myself, what is wrong with this picture when the A puts a hole in my wall and almost breaks my tv.
We get so callous we forget that is NOT normal behavior and for ME it was criminal behavior and I called the police.
For me in my experience, I got stronger and stronger from meetings here, chat room and message board. I also went to some face to face meetings, and called people.
I wish I could get to meetings face to face.
Anyway, what else can you do for you, to help you to be strong enough to make decisions?
A's love to manipulate. For me I would say to his breaking the door down or whatever, it is your choice, however the police will be called. Maybe protect you. Talk to your neighbor or neighbors or manager, when the A gets there do no be in the apt. if he starts to cause damage, call the police.
If he put a hole in your wall already, you could call the police and report it.
After all I have done for you...??? they love to put guilt trips on us.
One thing I learned, once i really worked my program, the A did not want to play anymore. The disease knew i had its number. Can no longer manipulate me. I won't say I am perfect every time. Sure am not.
Anyway keep coming back. I see you on a great path. Have ya made it to any of the online meetings here?
