The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Resilience is a skill we can all develop, a way to look at our experience and empower ourselves,,,,,,and go opposite of "victim thinking".. I found facing alcoholism straight on with the help of alanon I was more resilient that I thought. I have been able to get through many trying and horrific times, thinking I could never survive this one etc.... Been there? I have been there so many times in the past few years doubting myself , my own sanity, only to bounce back time and time again. The emotional roller coaster ride we endure when dealing with alcoholism is so exhausting and debilitating, it is sometimes easier to stay "down" than to struggle to bounce back. But we do, and we keep doing so time and time again. I am in charge of my own happiness, and in saying that I must learn that no matter what another says or has done, should not affect how I feel. I believe that most of us take things too personally, and take on the responsibility of others even though it is not directly involving us. I know I sure do. This is something I am working on, and like a red rubber ball ,I am resilient, and I will bounce back, and my feelings of self worth will grow, and I can start to live that happy life I always have dreamed about, and not be that victim anymore!
I think for me resilliance implies a level of self forgiveness. Anytime I make a mistake I need self forgiveness, but the bigger the mistake the more self forgiveness I need. And I'm not good at forgiving myself--somehow, and this is probably because I expected it of myself growing up, I expect myself to be perfect. Be right on center every time. For me, resilliance means that I have "coping skills" as my sponsor puts them. But I'm not good at coping either--I'm good at surviving. As Christina Aguilera oberved in a song of hers, survivors are fighters--their tough. And, as has been observed here, I AM tough. Someone once asked if I poop diamonds because I'm wound so tight a pice of coal would come out a diamond. So, resilliance to me is an aquired trait. But, just like the program, it's for those who want it, not those who need it.
So, resilliance to me is an aquired trait. But, just like the program, it's for those who want it, not those who need it.