I had a conversation the other night with someone. They said, do you know, if I would have done this instead of this, I would probably be doing this. I told them I don't do "what if's" the reason why is simple. I view it like this, if I wanted to change one thread in my life how many different aspects of my life would it change. So for me I won't do what if's because no matter if it is good or not so good in my life, fact of the matter is my HP felt I needed to go threw it and I am grateful for the oppertunity to go threw anything my HP has to show me. 

I will spare you my personal pitty party. But I will say this I may not understand all the winding roads that brought me to my recovery. I may not understand why I have to make so many turns on the road. When it is time for me to understand I will be shown it I have faith in that.

For now I look at my recovery from the eyes of a baby, excited to see the world outside but still learning how to walk. One of the slogans that helped me get here was "Fake till you make it", I learned strength and courage from this one.

DO