The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
When days like today happen I always have to reflect at what Alanon has given me and how my reactions have changed. This day is one of those that is just soooo rediculous!
Yesterday my son in law was going to put new rotors on my son's car. Normally they just slide off but not on my son's car! I had to go rent something called a slide hammer and put down a $200.00 deposit. My SIL hammered and hammered and couldn't get the necessary part off. I told him just put it all back together and I'd take it to our regular mechanic.
I took the rental hammer back and they told me it'd be 5-7 days before the money was put back in my account. Huh? Sheesh. O.K., that sucks but I'll deal with it.
We dropped off the car this morning with directions that the car needed new rotors (they won't use the ones I already bought), 2 new tires (thread showing and bald) and a front end allignment. I knew this was going to cost me, but what price do you put on your child's safety?
The mechanic called and said the car really needs struts too, they are ,leaking. I asked him to give me the total for everything, he said $1002.00. *faint* Ok, so I digested that and moved on.
I had made an appointment with the furnace people because my pilot lght keeps going out. The thing is a dinasaur. He comes back up and says "you really need a new furnace". Explained to me how unsafe it actually is. New furnace $1980.00 OK, Now I'm getting a little frantic and stressed.
Gracie, my old dog suffers from congestive heart failure. Today she will not eat or move. I put her pills in a pc. of salami and she turned her head away. I got her up to go outside to potty and she fell down the stairs. She is unhurt but after she did her thing she was unable to get back up the stairs by herself. She has arthritis too. I pushed her butt up (65 lbs) and we made it back in. She has been like this before and rebounded so I am waiting... I won't make her suffer and putting her down is looming in my head..
I hadn't had time to shower due to taking the car in and the furnace guy coming so I thought I'd take a few minutes for myself and see if my world would quit spinning.
I finished the shower, grabbed my fuzzy robe and went to my room to get dressed. There, I saw my new $30.00 bra chewed up and shredded thanks to Louie, my Jack Russel "Terror".
My first thought was to walk s-l-o-w-l-y to the bed, peel back the covers and hide. But hiding wasn't going to change anything. My next thought was to get dressed, walk out on the deck in the sunshine and count my blessings instead of focusing on all the misfortunes.
I am grateful I have a home that needs a furnace. I am grateful that I have a son to keep safe. I am grateful for Gracie (the old dog) for the years of comfort she has given me.
But I'm still really pissed off about the bra!!
LOL! This too shall pass.
Christy
P.S. I forgot to mention that I also got a call this morning that a close friend in Michigan Mother passed away last night. It was expected. I am also grateful that I still have my Momma :)
-- Edited by Christy at 12:55, 2006-10-20
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Hate to hear that you are being overwhelmed with all of these stressful things. Christy, I know that you are a grateful person. I'm sure that your HP knows that you are grateful also. I just recently spent about an hour talking with a fellow al-anon member about the stuff that is going on in my life and I told her I was trying to be grateful for all of the other things that I had in my life. She told me that it was ok to be grateful, but also to make sure that I wasn't stuffing my feelings in order to avoid feeling the frustration and pain of the turmoil of the hectic stuff.
That nailed me. For me, I was stuffing my feelings - I don't know if that is you or not, but don't forget that it is ok to tell your HP that you feel overwhelmed, that you don't think you can handle anymore, that you are hurting, that you are frustrated.
I had to get those feelings out instead of stuffing like I had so many times before. I cried, and was angry and vented and dealt with those feelings of frustration. For me, if I hadn't they would have come out in other areas. It wasn't that I didn't feel grateful - I just had to deal with the other feelings that I had also.
This may not be you right now, but this is just what has been going on with me for the past few weeks and I just wanted to share it in case someone else had experienced that also.
Praying that your HP sends you a peace about these struggles and a restful weekend,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
When it rains it POURS!!! WOW... and look at your strength in being grateful. You are one strong grateful woman. I am sorry for your troubles, and amazed at how you turned it around into positives. These times we have give us so much strength, and I try to thank HP every night for the struggles I go through, because I know he is shaping and molding me for greater things.
I am so sorry about your dog Gracie. My Chucky, the best cat I ever had, had an enlarged heart when he was about 9 years old, and there was nothing they could do abou it. It ran in the breed, Maine Coones. I just took him home and fed him like a king, and loved him so much in his last few weeks. I pray your Gracie recovers. It is so wonderful to have our animal friends that love us unconditionally, and comfort us when we are in need, they seem to sense it.
Just wanted to say that I am sorry for my post above. After I re-read it...it sounded very insensitive to what you are going through today.
I admire the way you and many others on this program are working your program and reaping the benefits from it. To be able to handle the situations that come your way with detachment, humor and just plain serenity is wonderful.
I cannot even imagine trying to take parts off to fix a car. I don't even know how to change a flat. Good for you and SIL for trying so hard.
With all that is happening today I am sure when you lay your head down to sleep tonight you will feel a great sense of accomplishment for even just trying to do what you could to handle things.
No need to apologize. We're on the same page..lol I laughed.
I truly am OK about everything. It's all just stuff. Stuff isn't really important in the big scheme of things. I could dwell on it, stomp my feet, have a pity party, let my frustration affect others by crankin on others (my son's line)...doesn't that sound like a funfilled day? lol I mean really, on the day I die will this day be something I reflect on? Notta chance.
Now, if my house had burned to the ground and harmed my family or I had lost my son (God forbid) due to my neglect in fixing the car, then it would be an issue. I choose to look at this day as HP speaking to me, giving me nudges to prevent anything like that from happening.
Don't get me wrong, I had a moment, I'm human..but using Alanon tools/slogans and just "listening", I centered myself and got real. I used almost all the slogans today.
How important is it? One Day At a Time Easy Does It Just For Today Let Go and Let God
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
You are so right, a safe vehicle for your son, years of a pets love and a home to put a furnace in. Puts a whole new spin on your situation.
In the long run, the furnace will pay for itself. We replaced ours in the spring and our utility company automatically lowered our natural gas bill by 40%(we are on equal billing)because of it.
As for the bra.....well......damn, think I'd be talkin with that pup. "Louie, keep your paws of my unmentionables or I'll be fixin ya my boy!" Think he'd behave then????
Love
lilms
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Two things: 1. Recovery is a process, not an event.....and.... 2. You only get to go around once. Leave em laughing and make it worth your while
I can use your share so I'll save it for when "life on life's terms" tries to get to me. "This too will pass" is a great faith slogan and it always does...pass that is. My recovery dosen't allow me to accept first bids. It allows me to get on the phone and call around the competition and ask about things like senior citizen discounts, other discounts and to ask for proof when someone says that I need something I have never seen or heard about and then there are second opinions and the like. I lay the whole salad upon a plate of Higher Power and then, and only then do I make a decision to accept the outcome of the decision I am about to make. I have needs and the first need is to do my "Don't react" (slogan) program. "Act...don't React".
We've had the same mechanic for 15 yrs, since my son was a year old. He is honest and gaurantees his work and parts. I have called around many times before and he is always either lower or within a few dollars of everyone else. If we want to purchase a used car, I take it to him before we purchase it for his OK. and opinions. My husband is in Alaska, I haven't been able to discuss anything with him yet. He'll be sooooo happy all this is going on :)
I am however, pleased to say that I don't qualify for a Sr. Citizen Discount yet. :) I did find a $10.00 off coupon for the allignment though!
Thanks Jerry, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Yep! I know those days all too well. I use to have torential downpours! There was actually a time when I put my bra on, and it broke! I think I did crawl back into bed that day.
Before I had hubby, I had "rent-a-husbands." Male friends to help me do the stuff I couldn't do. They come in very handy. Now they are using me as "rent-a-wife." lol You use your Alanon tools very well. Do you have your Alanon screw? There are plenty of times this past year I needed one. You remind to count my blessings that's for sure.
I just finished balancing the checkbook Didn't need to see that. It always stresses me out. Hubby is spraying his hunting clothes, but it's coming inside the house. The car is shaking like mad, etc. etc. .. But like you, I have to count my blessings. I'm glad that he's sober (5 months today) and can go hunting. We have groceries and a car that gets us to where we are going. Okay so my Eagles game isn't being broadcast. (Must I watch NY teams play? ) But we can still have a nice Sunday. I'm crawling back into bed with a hotpad for my back and read the paper.
Here's hoping that things are better today for you. Kiss the doggies for me. Love and blessings to you friend. Hubby and Pipers Kitty send their best.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Didn't need to see that. It always stresses me out. Hubby is spraying his hunting clothes, but it's coming inside the house. The car is shaking like mad, etc. etc. .. But like you, I have to count my blessings. I'm glad that he's sober (5 months today) and can go hunting. We have groceries and a car that gets us to where we are going. Okay so my Eagles game isn't being broadcast. (Must I watch NY teams play? 
) But we can still have a nice Sunday. I'm crawling back into bed with a hotpad for my back and read the paper.