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just finally had an aha moment - and if anyone can extend on this please do so
We got a new boss a few years ago. I worked in my job for several years before she was hired. It seems like she plays favorites, is not very available, hardly ever in the office, spends hours shopping for supplies, etc. It seems to me that she's "stealing" time from the job place. I tend to get in a very very bad mood when shes not there. "If she can get away w/not working, why cant I?" Yes I can surf the internet, play solataire, etc but that doesnt seem like enough - I still get bored. Today I did a mindless job just to occupy my time. I figure maybe I should wait to do my real work till shes in the office. My aha moment was right when I figured out Im letting her control my mood, control my day. Ive been giving her too much control over my life. Please help me to figure its okay to go on w/my work life no matter what she does. Does this make any sense to anyone?
She is the boss, and with her job come some privileges you do not enjoy. Instead of letting her get you down, think about putting your feet in her shoes someday. I am not saying what she does is necessarily right, but she's the boss. It probably doesn't seem fair, but so much of life isn't. You must make a concerted effort to hold yourself up. Allowing her to ruin your day or your life is a waste of your time. She's not worried about it, and your serenity doesn't need to be defeated when there is nothing you can do. Remember, "Accept the things I cannot change..."
Good luck, Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Yea, it makes sense. I struggle with a co-worker who is gone all the time, breaks all the rules, doesnt do what he was hired to do, makes personal phone calls all day long, etc. We yell at each other half the year and get along the other half the year. I realize that I have made him my HP; have to learn to set serious boundaries. I made the decision the other day to do his job for him. I knew it and it was to my benefit. My resentment builds and builds and then I realize that I become as non-productive as he is. So keep the focus on self as we learn in Alanon.
I would like to add that you can also get the additional training etc, that YOU need to be the boss one day and then get those perks for yourself, LOL.
Your boss has more responsibility than you and more work to do and more things to keep track of probably and maybe she needs that change of pace to be away for a while.
Either way, jealousy will get you nowhere, if you want to be the boss start looking into getting more education and doing the work to be the one who gets to lollygag while on a shopping expedition, LOL. BTW, being the boss is not as easy as it looks, I found that out too, LOL, so maybe you are better off staying in the office although it may not look like that from your shoes, LOL.
(((((((((Barbara)))))))))))))
Maybe you are resentful since you are working too hard and not taking time for you? I read that it is important to not eat at your desk for lunch but to get a change of scenery. I made it a point to do that, I took my lunch hour and LEFT the office, even if it was just to my car. I would sometimes just take a quick walk while munching on a sandwhich. Other times I would do my shopping on my lunch hour and eat a sandwhich on the way there. Either way it helped to break up the monotony, so I never worried about what anyone else was doing.
