The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well today was a great day, and still is becasue I am not asleep yet, close lol, but not yet.
I really can't not remember much at work, it was so nuts :) just like me and just the way I like it.
At the end of this month I will be completing my second term as an AmeriCorps member and lol I will be an alumni of AmeriCorps. A few months ago I wasn't sure where I would be going for employment, but today I was offered a 2 month temp position there and a great possiblity for a regular staff position after that. (Big huge changes coming down from the feds with changes to welfare coming and I work in a program that helps people on welfare gain work experience. And this change will more than likely create a need for my agency to creat new staff positions)
And................... I started back to school tonight! I am taking Chemical Dependency 101 and another class will start next Saturday. I already like my professor, I am so pumped for class and there were 3 AA members there that I know. I also am taking the class with 3 of my co-workers, lol we all 3 had no idea we were taking the same class.
When I got home there was a strange number on my land line and on my cell (I fogot to turn it off vibrate on the way home from school) and I called it back. It was a number for where hubby was. He is alive, and coming down from some unkown drug (he doesn't know). He told me some story, who knows if it is true. I was just relieved to hear his voice. I still don't know when he is coming home, or what will happen after that.
But I let all the negative crap outa my head last night when I posted. I went to bed and had a huge cry and woke up feeling more centered. I focused on me today and the excitement of the first step in a goal I set for me. Hubby was safe, and in HPs hands and still is and so am I for that matter.
The sad thing for me in all this is that by truly working a program I am moving forward and hubby in his active addiction is headed down. I am worried about growing apart and what that will entail. But I am liking the fact that I am getting better, I still slip (and I know I will from time to time), but I am not staying in the crap for long and I like that. I like this me and it isn't worth losing her to go down with him. He needs to choose to move forward. I already made my choice.
Love to you all.
Yours in recovery,
Mandy (Dolphin123)
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
Glad to hear you are doing so well!!!! I am new here but just wanted to let you know it sounds to me that you are doing a GREAT job working on yourself. I also go to school and know what a great thing that is for you all around,I sometimes think if it wasnt for my classes I would have lost my mind somewhere along the way...and that really sounds like a great class to take....I have tried twice to get into it and both times it was full, but I will keep trying and get in it someday Im sure. Please keep up the good work and let us know how the class is going!!! I am also glad to hear your SO is ok ( as good as can be) I know what ache it is to your heart to not know.I will pray for you both. Keep up the good work!!!!
Oh so great to hear a positive shift in the energy for you. You will reap the rewards of all of these changes and you should be so proud of your achievements. All of these new things will help to keep your confidence up and get over any bumps in the road along the way. Glad your husband is safe. A real load off your mind. Luv Leo xxx
What an inspiration you are, really... it sounds like you are so strong, yet you allow yourself to cry and feel feelings, which we will never be void of in life.
Great for you going to school and working on yourself! I am proud of your upward and onward attitude!!! I am glad your AH is in HP's hands, and it is sad, isn't it, when you realize that they are going downward and you are feeling good about yourself. BUT, I heard somewhere that it is actually better when they get worse, the closer to a bottom they will be and the better their chance of recovery will be?!! Don't know, but I always keep that in mind when my AH seems worse.
You've been through a lot, I've read your posts through this year. You sound like you have the ability to make yourself happy, and that is a wonderful and great goal - thanks for the hope you are giving us.....
I already like my professor, I am so pumped for class and there were 3 AA members there that I know. I also am taking the class with 3 of my co-workers, lol we all 3 had no idea we were taking the same class.