The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just want to thank everyone for their support, especially Jerry F for reminding me that I choose my consequences. I put a collect call block on the phone and haven't heard from him again. I wonder here and there about what's going on. He helped me move in so he could theoretically show up at my door anytime but I am feeling a lot stronger now. Been reading doctor Phil, I didn't think I would like it but it turns out that it is really speaking to me about getting some purpose in my life and worrying about MY future instead of HIS present. Started talking to a few guys via email just to get some positive reinforcement that I'm still desirable, etc. Going to be real careful not to get too wrapped up in that though and end up with another needsy guy. My plan is to really start working on making some friends, I'm not sure I remember how tho. I live in a VERY rural area so there is only one meeting a week and I hate to take the kids. I'll try the online one here but I'm at work during this time so can't be totally focused and the internet at home is not reliable for the 9pm group. Anyway, I do feel better now that I have stopped to take a breath as suggested and took some me time yesterday to get my hair done. I still get calls from the guy in California that he was supposed to go work for and who had wired him $500 wondering what's going on and I have been avoiding him. Should I tell him what's going on or just continue the avoidance? I really didn't want to deal with him but it's not my fault he wired him the money and it's not my fault he didn't show. Checked the mail the other day and had a ticket from Alabama for speeding and a court date for a DUI. I was surprised but not shocked to say the least. One problem after another. I wish he would either quit or die and get it over with sometimes. Makes me sad that I feel that way tho. I have had murderous thoughts about him in the past though so I guess it was really time for me to get out.
Don't worry about taking your kids to the meeting. In my experience, most of us would rather you're there, kids in tow, than not there at all. Besides, it'll allow you to get recovery. And remember, you can always go to open AA meetings. Perhaps you'll consider getting a sponsor and start working the steps.
As for what to tell HIM--you don't! It's your private business what you're doing re recovery.
I AM concerned about the speeding tickets and the DUI. Is there anyway to contact a lawyer? It's important that someone be notified, so that the court knows you're not being a negligent accesory--covering up for him or anything like that. Just be honest, and tell them exactly what you've told us.
Keep it simple, put first things first. You're doing great.
