The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, I did go over to my grandaughter's cross country meet ... she did very well btw.
After it was over we went on into town. On the way in we called my daughters house and got no answer, so we went on by anyway. As I suspected, there was no answer. So we went on to a restaurant and ate. I saw some friends there and they asked about her and my grandaughter but hadn't seen them either. However they had talked with some of her friends and knew she was there in town.
After we had finished eating we went back by their house again and still no answer, and the note I left on her door was still there. I left the note telling them we had been by and missed seeing them and that we loved them both dearly and call when you can.
I didn't know anything else to do. I was saddened that we couldn't see them but I can't force them to want to see me.
I still have my concerns, for both of them. So much tragedy in a short time for all of us.
However, my "God" is sitting on my right shoulder and I also have a certain "peace" that "He" is working all things for good.
I know someone has been thinking of us and praying for us during this time and I wanted to share with you and thank you very much.
I am sorry that you did not get to see your grand daughter. I admire the fact that you already take care of one of them. I know how it is to feel shut out by certain family members. My younger sister has been an alcoholic since she was a teenager. On many many levels I have always felt cut off from her life. I can feel cut off in a moment by many people and know in some ways I relive my experience as a child growing up as I did. I have to separate them out.
I am so glad that you can rely on your program and your HP at this time.
Yes, it hurts very much to feel cut off from the one you love so much. The past 4 years have really been hard. I lost my beloved mother to cancer in 2003; the same year I lost my bro in law. Then a few months later my youngest son went to prison. Then my sister became very depressed and committed suicide last year ( on our anniversary) and my oldest son who had stayed with us for about 6-7 months was diagnosed bipolar-schizo affective. His delusions convinced him that I was his enemy and he turned on me. He is no longer living here,,his choice.. he is staying with a friend and still not taking his meds and still involved with drinking and drugs. Also, my 17 (then 16) yr old grandaughter was "in love" with a boy on parole from prison!!! It was been a true battle.
My health is not so good, as I went into such a deep deep depression through all this, but last year I just hit bottom and found Al-Anon. I had been raised in church all my life but never found the "God of my understanding" I guess in such a way.
At this point there was and is no where else to go!!!! In some ways I feel like I have lost so much the past years, but truly Al-Anon and my greater understanding of my God is what I have found. It will be a year the first of November, and believe me, I truly believe without this program and God I would probably not be here today.
I had a brain tumor removed in 1990 and I knew then that we have no guarantees of a tomorrow; however, believe it or not, as time passes we do tend to become complacent and forget how to live in the present. Once more I am living life one day at a time working my steps and trusting in God the best I can at this time.
I am so very, very grateful for the 12 steps, my God, and all you wonderful people who make up the Al-Anon family who love and encourage me along the way.
This group and my f2f family are the best!!! Thank you!
Profound and wise second share and for 1 year you have done great. I am not a new comer in any sense of the word and I know that when I am spiritually affected by someone elses share that HP his doing the talking thru that person. You share my experiences before coming into this program and let me give you some hope. I abandoned all that I came into the program with to accept all it had to give me. Everything....mind, body, spirit and emotions all recovered. Many other aspects of life for me recovered also. This is a spiritual program only...there are no multiple parts. You seem to understand that much earlier than I did as most of my problems first included a struggle with a God of my understanding. Today no. I work constantly at abandoning all of myself to HP. As a result I get the gift of understanding, compassion, empathy, unconditional love and acceptance, patience, promptness, and all the other values I abandoned while the disease was raging. This program put me alone in a room with my HP and then locked the door on us. In the end I gave up the fight against myself and God and accepted humility...the act of being teachable.
Please celebrate your 1st anniversary with us...it is soooo important and a great 12step for new comers. Congradulations for the time you now have and thanks for your sharing.
It sounds like you wouldn't exchange the heaven of HP and Al-Anon for your old seat in Hell. Oh well it's probably already taken by a future member of our Family Groups.
I am so proud of you. And congradulate your grandaughter for me.
I was thinking: How would your grandaughters feel if you and them went to therapy? Or if you offered for one of them to go to therapy? I recall you said your daughter was adamant about NOT going, but you never mentioned how your grandaughters would feel. Please remember--If you feel they would not be respondent to it, then forget me.
((((((hugs))))))