The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I know I'm not supposed to try and figure out what is going on in the A's head, but it's so hard at times. I think my A has given up drinking, but has not said a word to me. His last attempt was last November and it lasted until the first weekend of February. After the conversation this past Monday where he admitted to having a drinking problem he has stopped to see me twice with no alcohol breath. Tonight is Friday, it's 8:30pm and he is at home watching TV. So I wonder, if this maybe an attempt but he can't say he's attempting it because what if he fails? I worked at a treatment center for over 2 years, the guilt, shame, self-disappointment, is so hard for the alcoholic. I so want him to succeed, not just for our family and me but also for him. I know him clean and sober, I know what a great guy he can be, how loving, giving, funny, (oh man can he make me laugh), but I know at this point to have no expectations. That is a hard one, to keep focusing on me, my goals, my program, my health, my emotional well-being. I am praying more and more. I will return home on Monday, with a different outlook on my life, without my mom to call when I am down, but with more pride and empowerment than I have had in years. I may be here posting more too....LOL
You are right the program is hard but is described as "Simple for complicated people." Get whatever help you can get to help you change and the process will be simpler and more rewarding whether he is drinking or not. You may not have your Mom to call on; you still have the family groups.
You sound so much better! I hope and pray hubby will find his recovery and stick with it. Miracles do happen. They are so much better when they are sober. Keep up the prayers, it's good stuff!
Love and blessings to you both!
Live strong, Karilynn & Piper Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I agree very very much that it is hard to keep the focus on us. How I would so much like to fix him and make him well and see his potential. I know that is not my job to do anymore. In fact my trying to fix, resucing and enabling did not help at all and it certainly was never appreciated.
I appreciate your courage and your commitment. I am glad that you have family here.
