It was a heartfelt weekend for me. I had a great talk with my A this weekend. Don't know what will be the outcome of it only my HP knows for sure. I can say this much, I am really enjoying who I am becoming. I realize there is a life outside my house. I thank my HP everyday for showing my how to break-free from all the things that chained me to my computer and video games at home. For me I catch myself looking at the sky, taking walks, saying hello to people I don't know. Learning to see for the first time in a really long time. For me it is a new beginning. Funny thing is my A told me he was jealous of me spending time outside of my house. Not there for every phone call or the fact that I still don't have my computer up at home. I love my A but I have learned to start loving me too. I decided not to move to my A's town. When I started considering moving to his area I started thinking about my recovery and is this really what is best for me. Then I prayed alot about it and it came to me. I guess my HP had alot to do with this decision because I would have never have come up with this on my own now if my HP really wants this to happen there are still a few factors that will have to be worked out. If not then I will know with out a doubt I am meant to stay here. If I can get the financing to buy a house there and get the transfer there with my job. Then I know that it is my HP's will and not my own. My A told me where he wanted to live I thought about it and decided if I am buying a house then I am going to live where I want to live. Close enough to see him when I want but still far enough that I am on my own still for my own recovery because I still have a long journey ahead of me.

One Day at a Time

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