The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So after Thursday & Friday of perfectly charming husband, he has slipped. I however, read, prayed, tried not to slip too bad. Stayed calm, did a lot of saying....Let Go Let God, and "quit interupting HP work".....Tonight when he called, I asked...."what are you doing?" his reply....."I have a drinking problem" I listened, asked a few questions, and then said..."It's up to you, the choice is yours, you can do it alone, with me by your side, with AA, with treatment" .....I listened some more...as he cried, said he wished he had a gun.....told me again how he has issues.....I suggested soberity and medicine for his bi-polar disorder. I made it clear, that "I love him......that I don't "need to be with him but WANT to" ....he went on about how this is all he knows....I responded with it's a disease, some of it is learned behavior for dealing with his issues.......I said again, how when I return home, probably next week that I have made it clear.....I will not live the same lifestyle we have been living for the last few years.....I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME...I need a healthy lifestyle, my children and grandchildren need that also....he cried somemore.....I listened...told him I loved him, made it clear he has a choice, I even asked him "what would you be giving up by getting sober?" he couldn't answer....I think I did a good job....I hung up with "I love you and I am here for you if you need me"
You go girl! OMG, that is awesome. I wish we all could stand firm, but gentle w/our A's. I think things would move along a bit better if we did. LOL. Good job. I think I may use a few of your lines w/my hubby who started drinking again. And I hate it, but really try not to let it affect me.
What a compassionate, caring way to state your feelings and to respect him. You know you are doing the exact thing you should be. Letting him know you love him and you are there for him, but cannot live this way any longer. I know it is really hard especially when you may want to rescue him. I know quite well the feeling when my husband cries also and tells me I am the only friend he has left.
I admire your honesty and compassion for your husband at this very hard time in his life. You are doing all that you can do, and very well I might add.
Wow I think you did incredible especially with the manipulation there. I have been in there so long with the feeling more sorry for the A than I do for me. I am so so glad for you that you are at the point where you can "mean what you say!".
