The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I posted earlier about a delima I was having about helping my in-laws move. Well you offered me some wonderful words, which I didn't read until it was too late. <sigh>
I did what I thought was right. Called my in-laws and asked if they wanted my help and asked directions. They seemed a little taken off guard, but gave me the directions.
Then the mistake... Saw my AW at lunch and when she said bye, I said see you later. She said "I don't know when I will be home", and I told her I was going to meet them over there to help with the heavy stuff. Well she got preturbed, and I ... kept talking. Turned into a little mini-fight.
Dang I am mad at myself. I could have just shut up and let her deal with it one way or the other, but no....
After cussing and screaming at myself, I pictured what this was like. Imagine someone putting their hands on your shoulders and pushing on you. To keep from falling over you push back. I can see these conversations going this way. That's when she puts her hands on my shoulders. Then she starts to push....
If I would just step aside.... she would either stand up on her own or fall the F down... Boy I am flustered today.
Thanks for all your support, sorry I didn't live up to all the "... you are strong and doing well at detatching" you offered me in the other post. I do pretty good most of the time, then I just step all over myself.
She's not likely to do anything different any time soon, so I guess I will have more chances to practice... LOL
Take care of you!
__________________
"Good judgement comes from experience... experience comes from bad judgement" - unknown
Sorry you are going threw such a hard time right now!
One thing I have learned in recovery. I have all the time in the world to learn and grow and discover who I am inside. So starting over doesn't bother me because I learn something more about me.
Hello RT - progress not perfection . None of us does this right all of the time . Your human cut yourself a little slack. Al-Anon responses must be habitual for tht serene life we seek and alas after 20 yrs i am still not there. EASY DOES IT and try again . you only fail when u quit trying