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Hello All... If you've been keeping up, I'm in the process of filing for divorce from my A/cocaine-addicted husband. He doesn't know my plan... yet.
I was thinking about writing him a letter. He's very hard to communicate with (imagine that!) and avoids conversation with me lately. I would like to tell him that I still love him and care about him, but can no longer live with the lies and financial ruin. I'm thinking the letter will make me feel better. I'm thinking it probably won't even matter to him. He may not even read it. I'm not sure what his reaction will be when he is served the papers. My lawyer has advised me to not tell him until he's served. It's rather uncomfortable living here with him knowing that in a few days I'll be dropping the bomb!
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Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain.
You can always write a letter and then decide not to give it to him. I find that sometimes writing stuff down...helps me....Hang in there, be gentle with yourself...I too am married to an A/Cocaine (don't know if he's an addict or abuser with the cocaine) it's a hard way to live...he was clean and sober when we married.....and clean and sober one other time in our 7 1/2 years of marriage. I am so happy I found alanon.....I am so happy that I am getting healthy...be gentle with yourself....Hugs Mary
I'd write the letter, why not? It will probably make you feel better. Hang onto it for a bit, though, before you decide whether or not to give it to him. Sometimes it is not such a good idea to actually send those letters.
Go ahead and write it. You don't have to send it. If it makes you feel better to get it out on paper, then do it. Just stick it away some place where he's not likely to find it. I tend to do my journaling in the form of letters. For whatever reason, it seems to help me. Kind of like talking to my Mom eventhough she's no longer with me.
Live strong,
Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I agreee with everyone else....write the letter, sit on it and then if you decide to give it, there is nothing wrong with that.
For me, when I wrote a letter to my ex A/CH BF, I knew that it was more effective for me. Writing it down kept me on topic without getting too emotional and being intimidated by his silence.
Just remember......no expectations if you give the letter. That could set you up for disappointment.
i think writing a letter is a great idea. i mean, no one can interrupt or derail a letter. so you don't have to deal with his reactions directly. {{{{{{lotsa hugs and good wishes}}}}}}
Arty, I have written my A many of those letters and then kept them.
Also i found i if I wrote it all down, then i realized I could make a shorter version and say what I really wanted to.
You know hon, do it for you. doesn't matter how he reacts. do it becuz you are a loving woman and you are taking care of you.
I understand, you know i do.
I am not contacting my A. I know he is probably still at his friends. He has no where else to go.
But no matter. I will write him a letter and leave it at his p.o.'s to give him. I will do it for me.
I read in Bible last night. How when we get married. I am talking ME now. we become one flesh. And I am with mine Arty. I don't feel whole, have never felt whole until I married him.
and now to have such a big part of me so very very sick. and the disease hurts me so so much, is horrible.
I have to write it down to get it out.
Of course you love him. HE is sick. But you gotta protect you.
