The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so tired of this damn life.....I feel trapped.....I am sick to death of the life of hell I live.....I am trying so very hard to hang on until hub gets a couple of checks....him being out of work has drained us....now that he is back to work the past couple of days have been a living hell....he is right back to where he was before this last rehab....he comes home from work....after drinking....passes out gets up and is a nasty bastard...I do not want to live this way anymore.....
I have another job interview today...dear god....please...let this job work out so I can take control of my life again.....I can see clearly I have no future with my husband....I do not want to live in hell anymore.....I am trying so very hard to hold on to my serenity....I know there is not one thing I can do to change his way of life.....I can however, change my life......I am trying.....I am praying and hoping that God will lead me in the right direction and that I will be able to financially take care of my kids......he will get fired at work the way he is going and I will not support his drunk ass...no way in hell.....
I wonder if keeping this house if worth it all......it's a nice home...but it's really just walls....it's the love my kids and I have that make it a home.....I want my kids to feel secure....so I am fighting to keep what we have.....I am not falling apart....I am realizing the facts of life as they are given to me...
I am not angry anymore, I am not hurt, just disappointed that the man I married is so damn weak.......we all have choices in life.....I am choosing serenity...by the grace of God I will find a way..........
Thanks for listening, and being here in my time of need.....
Oh dear friend, how I wish I could make things better for you. Sending you love and prayers to you and the children. Pipers and I are keeping our fingers, toes, legs, arms, and tail crossed for your interview.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I know exactly where you are at. It took me a long time to finally let go and realize that I couldn't change my husband no matter what I did. I hope the job search goes well for you. Hang in there. It will get better. You and your children are in my prayers.
I hope you can find the answers about whether to stay or to go. You are so right. That house is just walls. The house is not your life and your life is in shamble right now. You cannot help him. Maybe you taking care of you and your children will send him to his bottom.
The only thing I can say to you, dear friend, is that I am here for you and care about you and your family. I pray this job interview will be just the job God has in mind for you. I pray you will find the peace you so deserve, Andrea. It's time for you and your children, now. You hub has to find his own way........his choice. Hang in there, knowing that you are loved.
Andrea, Prayers for your job , and for you and your kids. Your A is also in my thoughts. You are so focused, and it's good to hear you understand the walls are not the home.
Odat, you are so not alone. Accepting that this moment in time is what it is, is tough. I focus on "for this moment in time" it helps me to know that whatever I'm going thru is for only a period of time, not forever. It will change. I'll be praying you'll find the strength to keep going.
I say this in jest, while he's passed out, have the kids draw on his face, that way when you have to deal with the "nasty Bas***" you'll have something to smile at.
yes you are a mixture today. But i get out of your post that you are giving it to hp. You are making steps to take care of you and the kids.
If you can afford your home, it would help the kids to keep things as normal as possible. I say that becuz they won't live with Dad, and you will be at work. Moving is such a big stress.
I still remember when my parents split up and we moved out. I was so scared and so sad. Being in a house with out daddy was bad enough without also being in a strange neighborhood and a new school.
Hang in there sweetie. Hug those dear children tight and we can all send ((((((((((big hugs))))))))) for you. You are absolutely right-you can't save him and I just know that HP will hold you and your beloved children. Sending prayers for the job interview and know that we are all here for you.
