Hi Karilynn , take your time wait fr someone who has what u want, who has been where your at. Listen closly when they share.  Also someone in program a little while and has and is working the steps .

Me i wanted those smiles that someof those oldtimmers had , regardless of what is going on in thier lives .  Don't let age deter you either , older members (long time prog) have been where your at . make sure that they are still going to f2f meetings on a reg basis . One thing I learned is that this prog doses not work part time.  It's a all or nothin effort.

And if your group goes for coffee after go and watch them in a more relaxed setting , anyone can have a great program for an hr at a meeting , listen and see if they  gossip etc .  good luck  Louise

Hi (((Karilynn)))

I was given the following by my sponsor. I thought it was a great explanation of what a sponsor is and what a sponsor isn't.

SPONSORSHIP -What It Is and What It Isn't

Four major points in sponsorship that most Twelve Step Fellowship members will agree on:

1. The primary responsibility of sponsors is to help their sponsees work the Twelve Steps.
2. A sponsor and sponsee have an obligation to discuss their mutual expectations, objectives, and requirements, if any, regarding the sponsorship relationship before they enter into that relationship.
3. A sponsor shares his or her experience, strength, and hope with his or her sponsee rather than trying to run the sponsee's life.
4. A sponsor must never take advantage of a sponsee in any way.

WHAT DOES A SPONSOR DO?

1. A sponsor's primary responsibility is to help a sponsee work the Twelve Steps by providing explanation, guidance, and encouragement.
2. A sponsor helps us get established quickly in our Fellowship by explaining basic concepts and terminology and by introducing us to other members.
3. A sponsor is a safe person who we can learn to trust.
4. A sponsor can answer the many questions that we have as newcomers or develop as "mid-timers."
5. A sponsor can help us in the process of self-examination that the Steps require.
6. A sponsor encourages us to read the basis text of our Fellowship and other program literature and to engage in Fellowship activities and service work.
7. A sponsor can monitor our progress, confront us when it is appropriate, and generally help us stay on the recovery path.
8. A sponsor reminds us to apply Twelve Step principles in our lives.
9. A sponsor models the Twelve Step program of recovery.
10. Our sponsor is available in times of crisis.
11. A sponsor provides practice in building relationships.

WHAT A SPONSOR DOES NOT DO

1. A sponsor cannot keep us in recovery.
2. A sponsor is not our therapist. The Twelve Steps are about spiritual growth, not therapy.
3. A sponsor should not attempt to control our lives or encourage an unhealthy dependence.
4. A sponsor should not take advantage of us or exploit us in any way.

FACTORS TO CONSIDER IN CHOOSING A SPONSOR

1. Has what we want.
2. Lives in the solution.
3. Walks the talk
4. Has a sponsor
5. Emphasizes the Steps
6. Has more time in recovery that we do
7. Has worked more Steps than we have
8. Is available for telephone calls and meetings
9. Emphasizes the spiritual aspect of the program
10. Gender is the same as ours

It is a privilege to sponsor someone. And it's one of the ways we stay in recovery.



Hope this helps you! My own two cents thrown in, is just go for it! Don't be afraid to ask someone, if they say no..so what! It's not rejection of us, they just might be too busy with their lives, other sponsee's or dont feel like they are ready yet. And if they say yes and it doesnt work out, its not for life! You can always get another one!

Yours in Recovery,
David