The material presented
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level.
A post I read sorta touched a nerve in me today. Now this particular nerve gets plucked every now and then and I don't think I have ever mentioned it before but feel like I need to get it off my chest and on this board so I can try to get free of it!
Something I read on here today really bothered me. What was said, and I believe it was intended to be sorta funny and also meant to show a commonality with another person, was a broad statement that lumped all persons of a specific group together. That they are all the same, and that they share a common defect of character. And, oh yeah!, I happen to be a member of this group of people..lol. Like I said, this kind of statement is made all the time, but it almost always bothers me...so I guess I need to deal with it!
Usually I dont say anything, and just try to let my feelings go...but .. hmmmm...I dont think I have been letting them go, I think I have been doing that ole stuffing thing, like I used to, and evidently still do on occasion! Old habits die hard! Anyway, what I am talking about is generally along the lines of if I were to say something like "woman drivers...what cha gonna do?" Personally, I try not to do that, I might lump all bad drivers together and say "some people shouldnt be allowed to drive" and maybe thats not right to do either, but I don't condemn all woman as being bad drivers because I happen to see one who is. Being a bad driver doesnt fall into any age, ethnic, religious or gender group.
I try to be careful and think about my choice of words, especially when I am posting on this board or talking in an al-anon meeting. Because I never know who is reading or listening. And it is so easy to say something that can offend someone. I guess I just have a personal problem with someone lumping an entire group of people together as behaving in a certain way...maybe I need to talk to my sponsor about this! Ya think?!?!?
Anyway, not picking on anybody specific, please understand! Not replying to any one post!! Just venting! Trying to get something off my chest that has been bothering me in an attempt to let it go for real!
It is my experience that on the message board people use this to supplement their recovery, to be their recovery, or to fix their recovery. And people who are relatively new to al anon have *alot* of anger. A deep sense of betrayal has taken place (which isn't entirely unjustified), and unfortunately, their prospective has become colored.
But I recall a reading in one of my books: "If we go to a restaurant, and we go to the front, we find linen on tables; fine china and gleaming silverware; dressed waitstaff and soft music. If we are at the back area of this same restaurant, we find refuse of food, rotten and stenched; we find cooks on break, smoking and covered in sauce; we find people running throughout the kitchen, cursing and screaming at eachother in stress. We have not done anything but changed *where* we are in the restaurant. *We are in the same restaurant.* Our disease is a disease of prospective, perception and thought. Where do you enter your prospective restaurant from today?"
If someone is willing to work the steps with a sponsor, their prospective will change. And they will find, much to their chagrin, the alcholic insanity was not entirely on the shoulders of the alcholic, but some on the shoulders of each member. Yet this is a psychic change of magnimous proportions. And it takes time. It did for all of us.
It's true, a lot of us are in a lot of pain, and it is normal to lash out. However, when we swing, we may hit someone who does not deserve to get smacked. Part of keeping our own side of the street clean is keeping in mind that our words could be hurtful.
I haven't read all the posts today but I'm sure they meant everyone BUT you.. *wink* Cuz we all know what a sweet, wonderful, caring, hunka-hunka-burnin love you are.
Seriously, thanks for pointing it out. Like i said I haven't read all the posts yet but I got your drift. If there was a guy on here saying all women complain and gripe.... we'd pound him..lol
It's probably not fair to say "all alcoholics yada yada" either. (Even though they all do yada yada)..lol
Haha..I think I need sleep.
love you, Christy
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Rofl! Thank you....thank you very much (((Christy)))
And you are so right, I was thinking about that as I was writing....we do the same thing with the alcoholics as well...!!
I do understand that we are just venting our own frustrations, etc etc etc.. but we do need to remember exactly what lin points out....and sums up my earlier ramblings...so precisely.
Anyway, what I am talking about is generally along the lines of if I were to say something like "woman drivers...what cha gonna do?" Personally, I try not to do that, I might lump all bad drivers together and say "some people shouldnt be allowed to drive" and maybe thats not right to do either, but I don't condemn all woman as being bad drivers because I happen to see one who is. Being a bad driver doesnt fall into any age, ethnic, religious or gender group. 
Ya think?!?!? 