The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank you for your responses to my problem. I wanted to let you know that my husband walked out of his outpatient assessment. He said he was telling them what he thought of them when they asked him to leave. I don’t know where this man came from. In the 12 years I have known him he has never been this angry. I realize that there is nothing I can do or say that will sooth him but I sure wish he would go to a meeting and get some insight into his actions. I finally went to a meeting last night. I thought it started at 7:00 so I left the house around 6:00 for the 45 minute drive. The meeting didn’t start until 7:30 so had a bit of a wait. Great meeting with great people who have been working the program for some time. The meeting ended at 9:00 sharp and I was home by 9:45. I know that you won’t be surprised when I tell you that my husband had worked himself into a real stew and wanted to know what I did for 4 hours. I explained that I had the start time wrong but he still didn’t believe me and besides “no meetings last for more than 1 hour and I would know that if I really went to a meeting”. I was once again made aware that I was powerless over his thought process and there was no amount of explanation that would defuse his anger so I just said that I told him the truth and it was obvious that he was not going to believe me no matter what so it was useless to argue. I am going to go to a meeting again tonight. There is an AA meeting at the same location so will ask if he wants to go along. Needless to say this is not going to be an easy weekend. Thanks for listening.
Hello Pat , u don't have to let it be a crappy weekend , start making plans for yourself , do something nice for yourself for me when I first started in prog was to just get the hell out of the house he was going to be ticked at something anyway so????? I just started going to the mall walking around , find a nice coffee shop get comfy in your own skin .
He can be as miserable as he chooses u don't have to sit and be a part of it. today u have choices , am glad u enjoyed the meeting and met some people who understand exactly what your going thru . never alone again unless u choose to be.
I started setting boundaries for myself from the conversation u just described verbal abuse was common in our home I had allowed for yrs . I told him to lower his voice and talk to me like he would anyone else or I was going to leave the room , he didn't so I did, sometimes I would actually leave the house (violence was never a problem in our home )so it was easy for me to do that. It really dosent take them long to figure out that only one person in a room does not make a argument. hehe
Alcoholics don't like change so he will be a little testy for awhile , but look after your own needs and start treating yourself with as much caring and loving as u do others and soon u will be doing just fine.
