The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
the only thing i'm not is hungry. not in the food sense anyway. almost all my life i have had a sleep disorder. the only times i haven't have been when i was content in a relationship or feeling secure in my grandparents home. so more often than not i just can't sleep. i have tried it all. massage worked but my ah the massuse is no longer here. i feel dead tired everyday at some point. not sure what to do to overcome this in a healthy way. if i had lots of money i would hire a massuse to come massage me to sleep.lol. i am working on my anger. being tired makes it harder for me to think rationally but i'm trying hard to listen in meetings so i hear what i need on that subject. in the meantime i recognize it, acknowledge it and move on. i have become so lonely lately. it is very very hard being a single mom of 3 kids. can't count on a ex for anything. just have to take what i can get from him when he's got it to give (be it money or time with the kids). that is becomming a huge, looming, ready to burst resentment. i'm taking this time to learn about myself and what i do and don't want from a relationship. i'm seeing what it is i do that attracts the type of men i attract and learning how to change that. so i know that being alone right now is for a really good reason but it doesn't make it any less lonely. i keep praying that god puts in my path the people i need. and so far he has. i have been "13th stepped" twice now. both by men i had much respect for. both double winners. both obviously still very sick. i think hp did that so that i would start to realize wht i don't want. i am struggling with how to not be lonely in a healthy way. to not fill the void with sick people or their lives. i have heard in meetings that this is a simple program and we complicate the heck out of it. that sounds about my speed. just thought i'd vent. going to go try to sleep...nite all...
Hope you got some sleep! It sounds to me like you know just where you want to be and know how to achieve that. Your strength is coming through the exhaustion. I'll send the sandman your way...
I love alanon, and the hardest thing for me was wathcing others progress "faster" than me. This is a one size fits all program. So we get to work the program how best it works for us. I don't know about you, but I have to do trial and error to see what works for me. But the beauty is that this program works and I am able to take what I like and leave the rest.
On my bad days, I take comfort in the fact that it will get better. I may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I know my HP and I know the light is there.
Take care of you.
Yours in recovery, Dolphin123
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
