Not sure how to feel - Al-Anon Family Group

desperate for help · Veteran Member

Not sure how to feel

hersh · ~*Service Worker*~

(((Hi Nancy))))

I am so glad you found this board. It has truly saved my sanity quite a few times. My husband relapsed after one year of sobriety this year, and it has not been a fun year at all. I feel like I have had a nervous breakdown more than once this year! Anyway, the people here will listen to you, and support you. You can just vent away on a post, or try to help someone else (really helps you forget your problems!)

Anyway, welcome. You are not alone. I don't know the exact Alanon website to go to to find meetings in your area, but I would type in "Alanon meetings - Denver(your city)" for example, that is what I do. It should bring up some kind of schedule for you. Those meetings do really help.

Also if you haven't gotten this book, I recommend it. "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Drew Rice. Very good book that will help you....

Good luck with everything, my prayers are with you and your husband today...

Love, HeidiXXX

Tiger2006 · ~*Service Worker*~

You can find your local al anon meetings by going to

www.al-anon.alateen.org/english.html

This site can direct you to local meetings in your area.

It also doesn't sound like your husband has stopped drinking; it sounds like all he's done has switched types of liquor he is drinking. Rather than abusing something as strong as vodka, he's compensating for the intense effects that vodka gave him by drinking double amounts of softer, lower alchol concentrated drinks such as beer or wine.

I hope you go to the Al Anon meetings.

Rita G · ~*Service Worker*~

desperate for help wrote:

Yes, I had everything to do with it as I told him how much I hate it when he drinks. So he quit...cold turkey. He does have a few (maybe 3-4) at night, but that does not make him mean or even drunk like when he drank vodka. We even had a "pouring the vodka down the sink" ceremony.

Nancy,

Welcome to MIP - I just have to say a few things about your post - If it quit cold turkey then why does he have a few drinks at night? And if we have learned anything in our recovery we have learned that we can not control another person's drinking . . .

Please try those Al-Anon meetings, read some literature on the disease of alcoholism, the 3 c's - Didn't Cause, Can't control it, and Can't cure it.

Hoping you will give recovery a chance for you,

Rita

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

hi and welcome, I can see you are very brave to face the fact that this may not mean a thing.

I was in denial a very long time. After all these years I learned even if they go to rehab, they could and probably would relapse.

Used to think get them to rehab then they would be ok.

But learned the reality that this is a lifetime disease, a lifetime struggle for them.

The best thing I can do is detach from his disease, not my problem, and love the man.

I can set my life up so the disease cannot make me lose my home, my vehicle, my credit etc. I wish I had done that before he ruined my credit, I lost my new Wrangler and more. Thank goodness did not lose my home.

My A would stop drinking and be doing heroin. Stop heroin and take xanax and vicodan. Run out of money and drink again. Some trade gambling for drinking, some are sex aholics, work a holics.

If they go to AA 90 meetings in 90 days, develop a personal way to not use, set up their life to be moral, make a path to staying well and wise, they have a chance for some good time.

The best thing we can do is take care of ourselves, and not allow the disease to affect us.

You are very courageous to start on your path to learning about aism. I want to tell you, alanon changed my life for the better in ways I never imagined.

Not just with A's but with everyone.

I like me so much better now.

hope you keep coming. love,debilyn

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.