The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Most of the time I cope very well. I have a naturally happy nature, and pride myself on the fact that I can handle life quite well. I have nothing at all to worry about really, except the A. Usually, I accept that he is sober and, I hope, likely to remain so. But every now and then, the resentment and anger creeps back into my mind. The fact that he refuses to accept any responsibility for shattering my idyllic existence; for causing me pain, frustration, and grief. He's fine, so why aren't I???? I handle these days of doubt much as I handle everything. This too shall pass. But some days like today...not very often...I cannot smile. Thanks for listening. Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
((()) Diva you are hurting right now and that is okay. Let it all out. Hope tomorrow is a better day for you. By the way your birthday must be soon Pm the date so I can send you good wishes. Luv Leo xxx
We all have good days and bad. You have been a pillar of strength to me. Much peace and happiness and prayers to get past this phase headed your way! This too shall pass is so true! Can you do something special for you today? Maybe a pedicure or a massage? Keep the focus on you!
(((((diva)))) I know by now the resentments and feelings have disappated. However did you know we are allowed to feel this way? I know for me finding alanon I learned to deal with it and then let it go. It is not like pre -alanon where I would let it sit and fester for hours even days, perhaps even weeks. We are human afterall and part of being human is having feelings, as perhaps a rock or inanimate object that has none. So as you said "This too shall pass". And I will leave you with this,,,,,,"It is ok to look back.......................but..............do not stare!"
I know where you are coming from. Sometimes when I let myself dwell on the apology that I deserve, and the fact that I am NOT GOING TO GET IT, I can get depressed and angry.
However, when I focus instead of life as it is right now, and let myself look at it honestly, I have to say it is pretty good. I have accepted (mostly) that the only amends I am going to get is his continued recovery. If I really can't get on without an apology and acknowledgement of the pain of the past, then I may as well just pack my bags. What I have right now is reality, the other is just wishes.
((Diva)) for me, it feels like betrayal. I know that's not in keeping with understanding it is a disease, but it still feels like that from time to time. It bites! Step 4 is helpful for me to get out of resentment, but I don't know why. Wishing you the best. How was NOLA?
Hate knowing you are feeling rough. You are such a Sparkle!
I find that when I don't feel well physically I then get more upset about the situation.
Like it is so horrible hot here in Oregon. Yet he sits in a very ac jail??? Whats that all about?
lol I don't think we can help it Diva. Whatever happened hurt us, and we take time to heal. Everytime you go thru this, you are healing, putting it where it belongs.
Believe me I know whatcha mean. I do my best to think about how sick they really are, and if I am going to remain with him, I have to remind myself of that.
But would sure like my great,great gmas pitcher back he broke, my new wrangle jeep I lost becuz of him, my credit, my shoulder not being disabled...uno
I go ahead now. It rarely hits me anymore. BUT I have not had to live with him either lady.
go easy on you. Feel this out. You are still you, a vivacious, beautiful woman.
You are human with a caring heart, of course you hurt, you are allowed to have feelings, I say sort thru them and in time –as you said, this moment will pass.
I hear ya.Sometimes it seems to me that my AH is actually happier when I am miserable.When I am in a good place in myself,I don't give him the satisfaction.
You have to feel it and get though it,it's the only way.You are strong,I know you will.
Keep taking care of yourself and try to keep his issues in perspective.Don't take on what isn't yours.
Like you i naturally have a good nature. it is very hard for me to be unhappy ... therapists call it a high pain tolerance, I prefer to believe it is a good quality a higher happiness. Even on the days when you all read my posts when i am at my worst i am usually smiling within minutes etc. But I have these days occasionally too, I found dealing with my disappointment in myself for not smiling worse than the cause of me not smiling. I hope the feeling passes for you soon. Take care of yourself.
While I truly believe that you are perfect, you are also human dear one. We all have those days when resentment rears its ugly head. It's okay. You know how much I love my hubby, but I'll tell you a secret. Every once in a while when we are struggling financially or emtionally, I look at him and feel the same kind of resentment you do. If he only stayed sober, maybe the money wouldn't have been stolen, maybe this and maybe that. :blah: :blah: :blah: You know my mind never stops. I have to fight that feeling, lest it get the best of me and drag me down. I do believe, however, in acknowledging those feelings because they are legitimate and need to be faced. What I can't do, is wallow in them, that's when I get into trouble.
Hang in there my friend. You'll get through it. We've got your back. Love and blessings to you. Be extra good to yourself. You deserve it. Sending you a big boquet of flowers.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
It's okay. You know how much I love my hubby, but I'll tell you a secret. Every once in a while when we are struggling financially or emtionally, I look at him and feel the same kind of resentment you do. If he only stayed sober, maybe the money wouldn't have been stolen, maybe this and maybe that. :blah: :blah: :blah: You know my mind never stops. I have to fight that feeling, lest it get the best of me and drag me down. I do believe, however, in acknowledging those feelings because they are legitimate and need to be faced. What I can't do, is wallow in them, that's when I get into trouble. 
