Well, Today is almost over. We have rides for tommorrow. lol Today, I guess I was suppose to give over control and responsiblity to my HP & my A, Tina.

I have been dealing with depression for years. I have been on antidepressants since 1989. Soon after my divorce, I have been on many different medications. I have tried to go off them when I thought life was going great. Nope not gonna happen. I do not think it is possible not to take these meds for depression. I don't think the meds ( Wellbutrin )  is the right one for me. I have been on this one for maybe 6 months. I still get emotional & cry alot more than usual lately.  Kinda funny how some think depression is contagious. The treat others as if they have an STD or something like that. 

I stayed in bed almost all day. I have been sleeping off and on most of the day. My A , tina finally had to start making phone calls to try and get this truck running again. she started about noon to get me to my 2:45 pm appt. incredible timing. It was so hard to let her take over the duties of fixing this problem. She did not do it when I wanted her to or the way I thought she should do it but she did do something.

She got pissy when I did get up & come out of the room. I went to go get food, drink or bathroom. I was giving over my (negative energy) to her so she said. One friend called & I got the phone. that friend started to give the third degree on why the truck is messed up , why we are putting money into it and not my truck. , why , why, why. Well she did offer up using her truck to go get parts.I just had to get a ride to her house 10 miles away.  I thanked her for her help & said goodbye I had someone from the county in the yard I had to go talk to.

My boss lady called & was giving the time change in my work schedule she offered to pick up the part in town Friday. Now, Tina, My A  wants to take the old carborator in to the repair shop and have them put a new top on it & rebuild it. We are going in the am & it will be ready in the afternoon hopefully. She plans on waiting and hoping a freind up there will give us a ride home. She has no check on that yet.  A new carborator has to be paid for first , we have no credit cards. then the part will be in on Saturday.

She did call a bunch of folks today , no one called back though. the neighbor that said she would give us a ride just did not answer her phone today. She even called my Dr office & told them we had no transportation. The doctor was suppose to call and tell me over the phone my results. The dr office said 3/4 of the time he would call if he did not have an emergency. They are closed on Fridays.

I was just dreading making phone calls that my A had already made today. She could not tell me who she called or what was said. but I am still alive. I guess she was suppose to take control & responsiblity. She hates to use the phone. she was ugly today I was trying to solve this crisis together. She would shut up and not talk. She said I was giving out negativity. I did not think so.  

Twice now she has given stuff to others ( the new neighbors ) I have tried to put up for us. She apologized. It was a mistake. She gave away some sandals. It is ok I don't really like the flip flop style. I have no idea what else she gave away I am afraid to go look. I lost like 50 lbs in the past year and am trying to get clothes together that fit. We come across clothes and stuff others throw away and pass them along to those who need them or the clothing bank which is free.

As for getting rid of our animals. We have rescued for 12 years now. We have not taken in any since april 2005. We have about half listed on petfinder.com. Short of putting these healthy animals to sleep we are maintaining them for now. We lost 4 of our seniors in a little over a year due to old age. 

Hopefully in August I will have a hearing with Social Security then they have 60 days to start paying me for SSI. Then life will get better around here. Untill then I have to be patient & wait.