Hi Everyone,
It was my birthday yesterday...and I know I'm going on...and lots of you sent me well wishes which I really appreciated. I just wanted to share with you how I feel today.

He (my Aboyfriend) was surprised to see all the cards and presents I got for my birthday. I have a big family and lots of friends! He felt bad because he had no money to buy me a present....

Normally, and I gut instinct was to tell it was okay really, to tell him I didn't really need anything, that I understood it was hard for him etc.

Anyway, I decided not to do that.

I decided it did matter really...to me. I don't want or need material things really...that's not what really matters to me as I'm sure you will all understand. But for years I've not taken what I deserve from relationships and from life itself. I've been selling myself short.

So now, I'm...eh...well....a bit older! and now I realise I'm not setting for less than I deserve. I don't feel guilty about it either....given up on guilt...it's completely negative, serves no constructive purpose as far as I can see.

I deserve to be treated with respect and care by someone with whom I'm in a relationship.

He felt really bad yesterday. It made him irritable. I was annoyed with that but I understood really, and I felt sorry for him momentarily. But I didn't show it. I picked up my strength again and knew I deserved happiness really.

I think I'm getting a gift of self esteem for myself....the best gift I could hope for really. A gift from my HP.....wrapped up by my A ....and handed to me by all the kind people here!

Thank you all
AM