The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ok I am frusted to all end again. I don't understand why my HP does the things they do. I was really hoping that today would turn out for the better. I was hoping he would finally see what damaged he had caused his family not to mention mine. I had a long talk with his family they agreed helping him financially wasn't the answer. He was just using us and manipulating the situation. But today they did it again. Helped him with some of his financial obligations. I am so frustrated I just want to ball my eyes out. Nothing is going to change unless he wants to change I know that. But I was sure hoping we were all getting sick and tired of helping him with his disease. I love him, but lately wondering is it enough. I dont' know how much more of this I can take.
Glad ya did vent. Many of us sure do relate. My A's mother is the master co. Now she is in a nursing home and has dementia so maybe he will grow up some.
Not my problem though.
I know it is frustrating. But you know you cannot control anyone but you. So now you learned this. I too talked to his family. Did zero good. I am and was the bad one becuz I would not "help" him.
It takes them so much longer to figure things out when they are enabled.
i can so relate. my mil said to me when my a was in the er that we (meaning me, her and all 6 of his brothers and sisters) would not go pick him up, see him etc. ok i said sounds like a plan. stand together and pray that he hits his bottom and get the help he needs. yeah, she went and picked him up and moved him into her house the next day. then gave him $ for drugs!!! oh i have huge resentments towards all of them. but i no longer have any contact with them. even still i can totally get caught up in what happened and how sick they are. but i am getting better and whenever i want to focus on them i just turn my finger right back around and see what is going on with me that i don't want to focus on.families are complicated and at some point i know the detatchment with love will come. i am not there yet. just do what you can and remember they are sick also. they live or at least have lived with this disease too. take care of you because you are the most important person in your life. lots of love and luck
I know my HP has a great plan for me. But somedays, I get so frustrated in trying to understand what they are trying to show me. Because I honestly can't see it. I know what I feel in my heart. I wish somedays I didn't I know that sounds awful. But I know there are so many wonderful people out there in the world. But I am in love with my A. I don't know what to do. Found out yesterday he is confined to the state he currently lives in for a few years. Also that he has to take AA. I am concerned about this because he is being forced to go instead of wanting to go. When he was doing really good. We talked about me moving there. He and I have been together for years. I would be giving up the place that I am most familiar with and my secure job I have been at for over 10 years. Thing is I would have never entertained this idea before. So it is something I am considering. My lease isn't up for about 8 months, so I am going to take this time to figure out if this is really what I want to do. I have a friend here that wants to move down that way to be closer to her son. So at least I would know someone down there. So right now going to focus on me and my recovery and working too much (LOL).
Anyone have a crystal ball mine is broken.
Good thing is I have sometime before I make any big decisions.
