The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, it happened again. A and I had plans to go camping, to get out of town this past weekend. He ended up working (which is actually good - he needs to) but I was pretty let down. All of this year, it seems he has been running away from our relationship, it feels like we don't have one anymore. Every time we make plans, something else comes up. I am living in a lonely house, the kids are moved out, he is never home. What a strange, sad feeling. Last year it was the best year of our lives. He was sober and such a different person. This year, a big raincloud has perched above our house, and is raining and raining and storming.
Anyway, after much negotiation inside my head, I decided to go by myself to the mountains. I didn't want to camp alone, so reserved a hotel room. You know what? I am SO glad I went. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of in being alone. I did anything I wanted to do, did a little shopping, talked to some people, walked around the little town. I prayed and meditated, and slept in a nice air conditioned room. It is so hot in Denver that it was really nice to get up to the mountains, and the beauty is indescribable. I went on a two hour hike yesterday, and saw one other person on the trail. What a wonderful, peaceful day. I have to capture that feeling and remember it in my down times. I actually feel empowered, I did something for myself. I got away from a sad situation and had some really nice alone time. I plan to do more of this! Life does not have to be miserable. It really is your outlook on the situation. And most of all, you are never alone. God is always walking with me now, and I pray for him to walk with my sad husband, and show him the light someday.
Thanks for all of your wisdom and support, friends....
it has to be a inspiration to us all,who feel let down and are trying so hard to work the program,im so glad you had a perfect trip and wish you many more,
I am so excited for you! Good for you. When I first started reading your post, I was going to suggest that you start doinf things for you, and then in the end, you did. Wow I am glad you had a great weekend.
Yours in recovery,
Dolphin123
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"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
I, too, was feeling very sad at the beginning of your post. I give you much credit for doing that trip alone (well, with HP) I am very lucky in the fact that I do have a husband to do things with. My A is my son and I was just thinking this morning of how much I missed seeing him and doing things with him. He is separated from his wife and children but even when he was still with them I did not see him much. I think being an A keeps him isolated from his family. He has a brother that would really like to have a close relationship with him but A son always has some excuse for why he cannot get together with him when he is in town. It is totally out of my realm of my understanding. I have 3 sisters and I would hate it if I did not have a close relationship with them. Whenever we ask him to join us for something family related he always has to work or made other plans. It is really sad. I guess his addiction just keeps him from being able to be comfortable with his family.
I am so glad you did what you did. I often hear people say that they would just like to go on a vacation by themselves. I am not sure I could but I don't like to drive an hour away from home alone.
Good for you! I am so glad you had a nice time. So many times I tell people here that they will learn the difference between being lonely, and being alone. I swear they think I'm crazy. (well I'm not exactly sane !)
My husband and I are very independent people. We love to do things together but we also love to do our own thing. I have always enjoyed taking vacations alone, long before we were married. It was freeing not to have to worry about what I would do with someone else. What if I didn't want to do that?
You took what could have been a real let-down situation and made it a very positive one. That's what this program is all about: our recovery and being good to ourselves. What a great example for others.
Live strong, Karilynn
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
What a great post! Honestly, I was afraid to click on it because it said "alone time" and that is what I am struggling with - too much alone time. My AHsober and I are separated by his choice. Our last son went to college last year and he moved out. Our last years together he did the same thing; work, go back to work, cancel plans, procrastinate and have to go back to work. I did many things alone with the kids rather then wait around for him. And he definitely avoided our relationship.
I had to have a heart to heart with myself about what I really like to do. Was it dependent on him doing it with me or was it something that I wanted to do? So starting last year when he moved out I just planned things that I liked to do like hike and camp and went ahead and did them. I even went backpacking by myself. It took alot of courage but I choose safe places to go. I have found that strangers are more than willing to befriend an older woman who is alone. I have had some awesome experiences by myself this year. I think it shows my AH that I have a life too.
So I say do it again. See you in the mountains some time.
I am so glad you had a nice time. So many times I tell people here that they will learn the difference between being lonely, and being alone. I swear they think I'm crazy. (well I'm not exactly sane 
!)