The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My A husband said that a lot. Then he was at his moms and did up too much H and died on the floor. The paramedics came and shocked him back.
sigh. What could I have done? Nothing. To me it was and is totally out of my control. I cannot commit him. He saw a counselor, I was outside the door listening. He tells the counselor he has never considered suicide. yea right. he was dead on a floor. He knows how much H he did. He did the real stuff in Viet Nam.
So what does he say in the morn when he is sortof there?
Power of attorney will not help you when he is sick and out of control. You need a medical power of attorney and a dnr. If I were you I would do it now.
But really you will make the decisions anyway being his wife. I am so sad you are going thru this. Been there too, may be again.
I finally got to where I said, I am so sorry you are so sick and feel that way. But you know I cannot do anything.
He has to take himself wherever he needs to go. Sure you can take him, then he may get out and start all over again. So it is up to you.
Doesn't make much difference but put you at ease for a night or two. You can hope it might shock him into going on a program thru AA.
Again it will be up to him.
So the old take care of you, do what YOU need to do.
I know I had to do all I could so I had no regrets. But I learned the above. It does not matter if I do it, he will just get out and start again. What I do is moot.
So you may have to give it your all one time to learn from it.
I sure did.
Like when my A hurt me physically. I did not want to put him in jail becuz it would jail my husband inside the disease controlling him.
Well believe me now, jail is where he would go and I would NOT be sorry.
You will do the right thing. Please think of YOU first. I am sorry he is so sick though, I mean that. HOw miserable he must feel to be so down he wants to die. He does feel horribly guilty for hurting his loved ones.
This is why we must take care of ourselves so they can see we are ok no matter what they do. Well it is one reason we do.
I did the right things for me. Whether or not anything i did helps him or not, I can be proud of my actions and what I accept as my responsibility and what I do not. It's progress, I can remember a time I would have been more worried about what he would think of my reactions/decisions, I've made progress and live for my own opinion of myself.
