The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Have a question for all of you with recovering As.
Hubby is now sober almost 60 days! I am so proud of him as he continues to work his program and gets better every day. Lately I have been having these horrendous nightmares that he's relapsed! I wake up shaking and sweaty. I have no reason to believe that he will or he has. If he has relapsed he would be dead by now. Doctors have told him that if he takes 1 drink, don't bother coming to the hospital as he'll be dead. He's that allergic to it! He also has no desire to drink. So why the nightmares? I didn't have these dreams when he was sober before. I wonder why now?
Is this common for us to go through? Has anybody else had this happen to them. I can understand it when they are active I would expect to have these dreams. My biggest fear was getting a call from the hospital saying that he was gone. But now it seems a bit curious. Because I am not afraid that he will drink. While we say never say never, my optimism about his recovery is alot stronger. I am also stronger in my recovery. I know in my heart that all will be well. But a part of me is afraid to sleep for fear these dreams might come. Hubby says he doesn't know why these are happening to me.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated as always. Love and blessings to you all.
Live strong,
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I can't speak for others but can share I went through the very same thing. I had nightmares after I left home as a young adult.....and later in life had nightmares after I separated from the last alcoholic relationship.
It seemed like I was suffering from "post traumatic stress disorder".
When I truely began to embrace the program of Al-Anon....my nightmares began to fade away. I had to really let go of all the chaos and insanity that goes hand in hand with alcoholism.
Sometimes after a rather upsetting and sleepless night, I would take an hour to just sit and breath......... Healing from the affects of alcoholism takes awhile. ((al-anon hugs))
I don't have your same story but when I was having nightmares, my sponsor suggested that right before I climb into bed, I get down on my knees and pray like a child (sweet picture I can see) and ask HP to please remove these nightmares and help me to sleep peacefully.
Well you are never going to think that something so simple as that would work, but in my case, it surely did. I hope it will work for you too hon.
love you and the kitty too Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Karilynn, your story reminds me of when my dear mom passed away. She left a very large estate which was divided between my sister and me. Well, let me tell you, we threw that money around like we were crazy; had a grand time with it. Then I began the recurring dream that my mom had come back; wasn't dead after all, and I was dreading that she might just ask about her money. My mind was tortured during the dream, wondering what she was going to live on. How would I explain the disappearance of a substantial portion of her fortune???? While my story differs from yours, I believe it had the same foundation. Finally the dream stopped, and yours will too. I think it all has to do with your mind's adjustments to the way things are, and accepting life's events.
In the meantime, dear girl, hang in there, and hold tight to your hubby's sobriety.
With love to you and Pippers kitty,
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
Hope those nightmares go away soon. My guess is it's a subconscious a fear that you have no control over.
A and I had to laugh today, after 20 yrs of his drinking I forget he doesn't..lol!! We cleaned our garage today and had all the stuff out in the driveway. A said he had to leave for a bit, would brb. My first thought was Grrrrrrrrr. I then had to laugh.. Hubby asked what was funny. I said, I forgot you don't drink and for a split second thought (*&$%#^!!!) I'd have to put this driveway full of stuff back by myself.
So..I guess I'm having daymares :) What's realy weird is I'm pissed off for about 3 seconds, then ...oh yeah, I'm not pissed...lol.
Love ya Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I, too, have nightmares about my husband relapsing. He's been sober over 2 years now, and I'm not worried about him going out and drinking, but I still dream those awful dreams. It's funny, when I wake up, all I tell him is that I had a bad dream, and he says, "no, honey, I wasn't drinking last nite!" LOLOL
I also dream about him and his ex g/f, with whom he was involved during our marriage while he was drinking. Now that REALLY makes me mad when I wake up!
I like Maria's response...pray about it. Funny, I never thought about doing that, although I do recite the Serenity Prayer over and over and over again before falling asleep. Thank you Maria for suggesting that wonderful remedy!
I agree with the rest. I think anyone living with an A-that their subconscious keeps a suspicion to protect them from disappointment if that makes sense. I like the prayer idea too. I hope those nasty nightmares go away.
thanks for the wise words.I been haveing nightmares from the gang rape by gunpoint and they said i had ptsd and they gave me sleeping pills to sleep and thanks maria i am going to try that tonight.
Well, I don't have a recovering A, and he's never stayed sober long enough for me to have your exact experience, but, Oh, I hate those crazy nightmares that creep in and stay in your mind, even the next day while you are awake! I get those sometimes....I think we have just all been thru so much trauma, some of it stuffed inside while it is going on, so we can cope. It eventually catches up. I liked the idea of getting down on your knees before bed and praying. Warm milk may help too. I swear it does me. And keeping good happy things in mind while I am falling asleep.
You have treked across many miles in your journey, you may just be overtired, then the imagination kicks in.
I am so proud of him as he continues to work his program and gets better every day. Lately I have been having these horrendous nightmares that he's relapsed! I wake up shaking and sweaty. I have no reason to believe that he will or he has. If he has relapsed he would be dead by now. Doctors have told him that if he takes 1 drink, don't bother coming to the hospital as he'll be dead. He's that allergic to it! He also has no desire to drink. So why the nightmares? I didn't have these dreams when he was sober before. I wonder why now? 
