The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My A and I are still trying to work through all this and it is hard on me. I am always wondering if he is still talking to her or seeing her at any time. I know I am just driving myself insane and I guess I asked for this by trying to work through this but I know I am not strong enough yet to walk away. I m beginning counseling next week andI am hoping that will help me also. Like tonight he said he was going to a meeting at 730 with some friends and then one at 9........of course I am wondering if he is gone to a meeting at all or seeing her. I have not seen any messages on his phone or heard of any phone calls but my trust in him is totally shot. I wonder if he didn't want our marriage why would he have come home to try to work things out??? I just don't know what to think about anything. I know when he left I was miserable..........but yet all this worrying is not good either. I keep praying and hoping my higher power will give me the answers I need. I am really working on my relationship with my HP because I have never had one before nor did I pray all the time. All I guess I can do is hope all the answers will come..........
I can only say that I feel for you !! Our minds go wild and that makes us feel like we are going crazy.. Good for you going to a counselor, they help not immediately but after a few sessions you will see a difference.
Try to take one day at a time and remember. He wants to be there.. !! If he didnt he wouldnt be there.. Try to turn the focus on YOU..
Read a book, go to the gym, get a pedicure.. When you feel good your confidence improves and your mind stops racing..
Good luck, and dont forget that YOU are worth IT !! Tammy
Trust is so hard to rebuild once a violation has occurred. For me, I found that I had to know the truth. Growing up in denial did not serve me. Now saying that, some of my serenity was robbed by my needing to know the truth. But I can honestly say that I wasn't going to work on a relationship while he was working on another. I sought the truth and at one point found a truth I did not like. I dealt with immediately. I held his feet to the fire and was ready for the answer -- either go or stay but not both me and someone else. I love myself enough to know that I can't be in a 3 some.
yours in recovery, Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
