The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"A" myself and started in that program 7 years ago with many relapses.
Found face to face Al-anon meetings two years ago...as I curb my own addictions by monitoring drinking habits and forcing recovery upon loved ones. First siblings, then ex husband, now new boyfriend.
I know this is not the venue to discuss my addictions, but many local meetings here are a mix of AA's and Al-anons and I value my anonymity. Attending both meetings is where I picked up the phrase "double winner" though I never disclose that I belong to any other fellowship. I guess people assume that if they know me from elsewhere (ie. a different group) that it's okay to call me out. Can I get recovery solely from online meetings here?
I'm not as seasoned as a good number of the others here but i DO know as an A myself I had to battle some 'guilt' feelings of being in a forum where I all too well know of the pain inflicted for i have inflicted it upon others myself.
Now that I am recovering and the majority of my life's relationships have been solely A-s I need the support here. I carry a wealth of experience and I find it tremendously difficult to attempt a solitary fight to maintain my sanity living with yet another A.An A I pray and hope I can learn to live with and hopefully be there to help if he ever emerges into the light again.
As far as recovering solely by staying in this category,unfortunately I have no valuable advice or insight into that. I personally need every single resource I can absorb.I will continue to do so until I feel I can't do this anymore. Different perspectives help me when I fall into certain ruts.
I wanted to speak up to welcome you. I hope you have taken advantage of reading the past posts of these many kind women and men who pour out their hearts,minds,compassion and straight talk.
You have found a definite safe base and I pray you find it to be beneficial to you for whatever times you need.
Hi Mia , this is just my opinion but I do't believe you can , as I have done both for many yrs . f2f much longer . There is something about the eye to eye contact that u just don't find here. f2f meetings making new friends who live close by and can pick up a ph one when in trouble are invaluablel to me in my recovery . Putors give really cold hugs too . Just my opinion .
As a recovering alcoholic that should be yor first priority and our program is a great way to live your life . double winners are awsome in our f2f meetings we have several and I love having them in the room . You belong in both programs . again just my opinion.
I am a recovering alcoholic who also asks the help of the fine people on this forum to help me deal with the presence of other alcoholics in my life.
The thing for me, is that I couldn't even begin to change my attitudes and actions until I put the plug in the jug and took care of my addiction, first and foremost. We alcoholics have 'broken thinkers', and we need other alcoholics to help us recover. It is said that 'only an alcoholic can truly help another alcoholic'.
Until I had gotten a sponsor and worked the steps to arrest my drinking/drugging, I had no business trying to 'fix' anything else. (And subsequently, I learned I could NOT 'fix' anything, anyway... :)
I have a friend who went to AlAnon first, thinking he himself was a normal drinker; that he was going to AlAnon to 'fix' her... found out through AlAnon that he was an alcoholic...that he was not there for her anyway, but for himself, and in order to start 'repairing himself', he had to use AA to get well from alcoholism. He is attending AlAnon again to address issues that come up with non-recovering A's in his life, but recognizes he is an alcoholic first. He realized he had been 'putting the cart before the horse'.
He affectionately says, when speaking at a meeting, "I came to AA through the back door..." (meaning he first went to AlAnon).
And on anonymity and fear of AlAnons in your area 'knowing' you are an alcoholic.... Just my take, but of the people I know who are in AlAnon, they are very supportive and respectful of the fact that I took the initiative to work my butt off to get well. Also, I was not anonymous when I was falling off bar stools, breaking laws and getting arrested... so I have no problem in any 12-Step fellowship mentioning that I am, indeed, alcoholic too. Through working the 12 Steps I am no longer ashamed of my alcoholism. I do not enjoy what I did to myself and others, but kinda hard to share what a miracle this recovery thing is in my life, with no basis on which to begin.
The AA message board on this site is a great place to begin your journey. This AlAnon site is a miraculously healing place, too.
Just my take, as a very active-in-AA recovering alcoholic, and as they say here,
So glad you found MIP, I am a true blue Al-Anon-er. My f2f home group has a mixture of Al-Anon only and "double winners" - which is a true blessing to our group. The recovering AA's in our group sometimes shares perspectives on things that I could never see. I cherish their participation in our group. I actually have the privilege of being an Al-Anon sponsor to a wonderful lady who is a "double winner". She has me as an Al-Anon sponsor and someone else as an AA sponsor. Our relationship has helped my recovery tremendously.
As far as anonymity goes - maybe you could share with those people that you would like them to honor your anonymity.
I enjoy participating in this site, but for me, without those f2f meetings, I can get caught up in "Ritaville" thinking and that is not a safe place to go - for me, I need those f2f meetings,
Just my E, S, & H,
Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Newbie here. I'm very confused where to go...
