The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For the past few days I have been in the meeting and chat room sharing what has been going on in my life and it has been extemely helpful.
This past weekend my husband picked up again after 9 mons of being dry. I have posted here over the past few months of my difficulties in dealing with his behaviors and questioning whether he was active or not. After a physical altercation I did what needed to be done to take care of me. I filed a temp. restraining order and then came running to the meeting room to talk it out. I have been to 5 meetings since this occured.
My husband is thinking he can return home at the end of this week. I have told him he cannot as there is nothing changed in the situation. Needless to say it is not sitting well with him. I stated to him that it is necessary after all the times doing this same dance that major changes have to take place. That someone finally had to make the tough, difficult and right choices in order for this ever to work. That is what I am doing.
I have gained so much strength and support from the rooms of Alanon and open AA meetings. But I think the biggest source of strength for me has come in talking with a newcomer over the past couple of days who shares a similar situation right now. We have had a few conversations - and I find that many of the questions I have posed to her about her situation I need to pose to myself - and I have. It has been a great source of help for me. HP has I believe put this person in my life to help me as well as me helping them. What a tremendous gift. Sharing ES & H with another offers a me a chance to stay connected and helps me to heal.
Bless you all for being there each and everyday.
Karen
__________________
Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
Excellent observation, Karen! We gain and grow in our own recovery by giving it away.
I am a teacher. I see it jsut like having a student t4eacher...when I talk to the student teacher and tell them ways to be a better teacher, it jstu erinforces to ME things I ned to keep doing to be a better teacher myself.
I totally understand the sadness you feel over the relapse. My hubby was sober 2 years and relapsed. Since that time he's not been able to keep sober over 30 days at a time. It's very sad. He KNOWS what to do, btu he chooses to make different choices. He has a sponsor and he attends a meeting each week. I know to stay out of "his" program and how he works it. ...or lack of working it. I'd never call his sponsor and tattle, but I am certain he's being dishonest to him as he is to his doctors.
So I detach..i take care of myself and i attend my f2f meetings and when I get a chance I attend an online one.
I laugh everytime I am sharing with someone and say something, and I think to myself, hey I need to do that. I love how my HP puts people in my life, especially when I can see that it was him putting them in my life.
Keep working your program. Stay strong.
Yours in Recovery,
__________________
"Today's problems can not be solved if we still think the way we did when we created them" -Albert Einstein
I still go to my face to face Beginners Meetings, I believe I always will for the reasons your just wrote. I recently asked an elder alanon why she came regularly to it, she replied, “What makes you think I don’t need to be here? I am no different then anyone else. I need it”
I am glad others continue to share their e, s and h and I should as well even when I don’t feel much like doing so. I feel better after letting it out, also never know who may need to hear it (like me reinforcing it in myself)
Maybe for this reason the literature encourages speaking up and sharing?
Lin wrote:
Excellent observation, Karen! We gain and grow in our own recovery by giving it away.
So true, I have to have it to give it away, one way for me by listening
I find topics from meetings stay with me all week and things appear days later as a light bulb moment.
I hear how hard you are working your program and glad you are reaching out and sharing.
The topic of your post "Staying Strong", seems you are doing just that.
