The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
bd (baby daddy) never came to get the kids this morning for their weekly visit.
i haven't heard from him for 2.5 days.
my worries have diminished in the last 3 years. i used to wait up nights. stomach turning. thinking about calling the hospitals, the county jail. each car passing intense scrutiny. exhaustion.
we split a year ago in july, after an ultimatium - "drinking or us".
so now i just want him to call and say he's alive. he won't. lies. deceit. or death. or jail.
this waiting game is breaking my heart. our kids need him.
Just wanted to welcome you. My sponsor once told me that better my children have one "1/2 way" sane mother than one absent parent and one parent spending all their energy worrying about the other parent. That leaves the children with no parents.
Worry and fear can be mind-altering to me. So I let go and let God. My best thinking got me here.
We have meetings online too. I hope to see you around. Maria123
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
Well I have been where your at I couldnt do anything bout him and niether can you. I hope u go out with the kids today and do something fun . It will keep thier minds off the fact that daddy didnt show . I learned here to have a plan B make your plans jsut don't plan the outcome they told me . Ipray your ex is okay and shows up eventually . but please try and not worry over things u have no control over , his destiny. Louise
Yikes.... the reality is, your kids might need a "sober him", but they certainly don't need the sick, disappointing 'him', per se.... If he's out using, drinking, drugging..... perhaps it's time to look at this as a positive, that he is choosing NOT to do that in front of the children...
Welcome to MIP, and hope you find tons of good people and info here..
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
yes he's still alive. he called and got angry at me - hiding from his own problems by blaming me for causing them. when i said his kids need him, i was thinking more in the long run. no one needs a drunk to be a daddy.
we did have a great day. swimming, the park, went on a walk. thanks.
i had a longer post, but my computer froze.
thank you for the welcomes and prayers.
he's still out drinking. this will be his 3 day in a row of serious binging. and since he doesn't have to work tomorrow he'll continue. i hate the feeling this gives me. honestly he is in very poor health. near diabetic. out of shape. poor nutrition.
i hate that his drinking can induce these things in me. fear worry doubt anger sadness regret hate ill wishes anxiety. seems like this still has a lot of control over me.
he was abstaining. acting like he was getting sober. trust left me a long time ago. i knew it would come back to this. (it was so much worse when we were together)
